My Boyfriend's Back - Miscommunication in a Medical Emergency
Dr. Bronson:
I'm afraid I have some bad news. Your boy is very sick. He's lost a massive about of blood, and his pulse and retinal response are poor, and as you can see there's an axe sticking out of his head.
Big Chuck:
He's not sick, you idiot! He's dead!
Dr. Bronson:
Oh, everybody's a doctor. You think maybe I could make the diagnosis?
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My Boyfriend's Back - Unusual Activity in a Dead Person
Dr. Bronson:
Okay. Well, you're dead. Which is unusual, because we don't normally see this much activity in a dead person.
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Guarding Tess - Legal Advice Amidst Tension
Doug:
Where is she Earl?
Earl:
Speak to my lawyer Agent... Agent Dougie.
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Sgt. Bilko - Tensions Rise Over Expensive Equipment
MAJ Ebersole: [remembers earlier test]
No, it'll hover. But as before, it will go completely haywire if we attempt to - fire the cannon.
MSG Bilko: [to Wally]
We know that. We just need a couple of hours with it. Let's get started.
Ebersole:
Wait, wait! This is a $70-million piece of equipment! You think I'm gonna just let one of your men mess around with it? I think not.
Bilko: [Unconcerned; Takes out a few pieces of paper, and starts patting his forehead with them]
Mm. Hmm. Oh, boy- is it hot in here or what? Oh, wait, what's this? It's the IOU's from the poker game!
Ebersole: [Bilko tears the papers]
Would you like to use my tools?
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What's Up, Doc? - Defending the Unbalanced Woman's Courage
Frederick Larrabee:
Don't you dare strike that brave unbalanced woman!
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What's Up, Doc? - Questioning a Woman's Stability
Frederick Larrabee:
Who is that dangerously unbalanced woman?
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What's Up, Doc? - Uninvited Guests Are Unacceptable
Frederick Larrabee:
This is inexcusable. You can't come in here uninvited.
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The Muppet Movie - Police Chase with Muppets in Pursuit
Kermit the Frog: [we see a police officer on motorcycle chasing the bus]
A motorcycle cop is chasing us! Hey, Dr. Teeth, you better pull over.
Dr. Teeth: [the police officer gets off his motor cycle]
Easier done than said. . Hey! Hey! Hey! It's the man with the badge. The police, the cops, the fuzz, the P.I.-
Miss Piggy:
DON'T! YOU! DARE!
Dr. Teeth:
I wouldn't think of it.
Kermit the Frog:
Did we do something wrong, Officer?
Crowd: [shocked]
Oh, look!
Miss Piggy:
Kermit, it's him!
Kermit the Frog:
Okay, guys. Let him explain.
Max:
This whole disguise is so that I can warn you.
Max:
I never thought Doc was gonna hurt Kermit, I thought he was gonna lean on him! But now he's got this frog killer in from the coast! And the man's deadly!
Fozzie:
Oh, no! Kermit, what are we gonna do?!
Floyd:
It's time to beat feet, green stuff.
Fozzie:
Yeah, get out of here, Kermit.
Dr. Teeth:
I love it. Chase music is one of our best riffs.
Kermit the Frog:
Hold it, Dr. Teeth! What's up ahead?
Dr. Teeth:
Uh...only an old ghost town.
Kermit the Frog: [to Max]
Fine. Listen, you go back and tell Doc Hopper, I'll be waiting for him there.
Max: [shocked]
WHAT?!?!
Fozzie:
Kermit, you'll get killed!
Kermit the Frog:
Listen, guys. Listen. I can't spend my whole life running away from a bully. It's time for a showdown.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.