Memorable Quotes from Austin Pendleton
8 quotesTensions Rise Over Expensive Equipment
MAJ Ebersole
No, it'll hover. But as before, it will go completely haywire if we attempt to - fire the cannon.
[remembers earlier test]
MSG Bilko
We know that. We just need a couple of hours with it. Let's get started.
[to Wally]
Ebersole
Wait, wait! This is a $70-million piece of equipment! You think I'm gonna just let one of your men mess around with it? I think not.
Bilko
Mm. Hmm. Oh, boy- is it hot in here or what? Oh, wait, what's this? It's the IOU's from the poker game!
[Unconcerned; Takes out a few pieces of paper, and starts patting his forehead with them]
Ebersole
Would you like to use my tools?
[Bilko tears the papers]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unusual Activity in a Dead Person
Dr. Bronson
Okay. Well, you're dead. Which is unusual, because we don't normally see this much activity in a dead person.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Defending the Unbalanced Woman's Courage
Frederick Larrabee
Don't you dare strike that brave unbalanced woman!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning a Woman's Stability
Frederick Larrabee
Who is that dangerously unbalanced woman?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication in a Medical Emergency
Dr. Bronson
I'm afraid I have some bad news. Your boy is very sick. He's lost a massive about of blood, and his pulse and retinal response are poor, and as you can see there's an axe sticking out of his head.
Big Chuck
He's not sick, you idiot! He's dead!
Dr. Bronson
Oh, everybody's a doctor. You think maybe I could make the diagnosis?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Police Chase with Muppets in Pursuit
Kermit the Frog
A motorcycle cop is chasing us! Hey, Dr. Teeth, you better pull over.
[we see a police officer on motorcycle chasing the bus]
Dr. Teeth
Easier done than said. . Hey! Hey! Hey! It's the man with the badge. The police, the cops, the fuzz, the P.I.-
[the police officer gets off his motor cycle]
Miss Piggy
DON'T! YOU! DARE!
Dr. Teeth
I wouldn't think of it.
Kermit the Frog
Did we do something wrong, Officer?
Crowd
Oh, look!
[shocked]
Miss Piggy
Kermit, it's him!
Kermit the Frog
Okay, guys. Let him explain.
Max
This whole disguise is so that I can warn you.
Max
I never thought Doc was gonna hurt Kermit, I thought he was gonna lean on him! But now he's got this frog killer in from the coast! And the man's deadly!
Fozzie
Oh, no! Kermit, what are we gonna do?!
Floyd
It's time to beat feet, green stuff.
Fozzie
Yeah, get out of here, Kermit.
Dr. Teeth
I love it. Chase music is one of our best riffs.
Kermit the Frog
Hold it, Dr. Teeth! What's up ahead?
Dr. Teeth
Uh...only an old ghost town.
Kermit the Frog
Fine. Listen, you go back and tell Doc Hopper, I'll be waiting for him there.
[to Max]
Max
WHAT?!?!
[shocked]
Fozzie
Kermit, you'll get killed!
Kermit the Frog
Listen, guys. Listen. I can't spend my whole life running away from a bully. It's time for a showdown.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Legal Advice Amidst Tension
Doug
Where is she Earl?
Earl
Speak to my lawyer Agent... Agent Dougie.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Uninvited Guests Are Unacceptable
Frederick Larrabee
This is inexcusable. You can't come in here uninvited.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.