Memorable Quotes from Bill Murray
100 quotesIronies of Life and Relationships
Elliott Templeton
Life is full of ironies, isn't it, Darrell? You know... I spent my whole life... among the great names of Europe. Now I'm dying... And who comes to see me but... Well, I mean... An itinerant...
[Lying on his deathbed, after suffering a stroke]
Larry Darrell
Fish packer?
Elliott Templeton
Fish packer.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Balancing Perspectives in Challenging Situations
Steve Zissou
Be cool on this shit, okay, cubbie? I mean, at least try to show both sides.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Confession of Stalking in a Taurus
Don Johnston
I'm a stalker in a Taurus.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Farewell and Missing Jacket
Bob Harris
Charlotte, I'm down in the lobby and I'm leaving now. Um, I was calling to see if you still have my jacket. If you could you bring it down, but you're not there, so this is good-bye, and, uh... So, I guess, good-bye and enjoy my jacket which you stole from me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Request for a Pause in Action
Wallace Ritchie
Time out! Time out! I got something in my eye, jagoff!
[while being shot at]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Vietnam Experience Discussed Between Two Characters
Max Fischer
So you were in Vietnam?
Herman Blume
Yeah.
Max Fischer
Were you in the shit?
Herman Blume
Yeah, I was in the shit.
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Captain's Struggle with Team Morale
Steve Zissou
The first thing that goes through a captain's head when he hears there's low morale goin around is: "What'd I do? Is it all my fault? "Well, he's probably right. Most of us have been together a long time. There are others that were here before that. Do you all not like me anymore? I mean, what am I supposed to do? I don't know. Look, if you're not against me... don't cross this line. If yes, do. I love you all.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Determined to Find and Destroy the Target
Steve Zissou
I'm going to find it and I'm going to destroy it. I don't know how yet, maybe dynamite.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Repetition of Groundhog Day Realization
Phil Connors
Well, it's Groundhog Day...again.
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The Search for Unusual Experiences
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
Well I guess if I had to swear one way or another, I'd say Lazlo wasn't insane. He just had very strange rhythms. But he stomped on the terra. Lord Buckley said that. It's hard to say he got what he deserved, because he never really got anything, at least not in this story. And right now, this story is all we have ... It's sad. But what's really sad is it never got weird enough for me. I moved to the country when the boat got too crowded. Then I learned that President Nixon had been eaten by white cannibals on an island near Tijuana for no good reason at all. Golly, you hear a lot of savage and unnatural things about people these days. Lazlo and Nixon are both gone now, but I don't think I'm going to believe that til I can gnaw on their skulls with my very own teeth. Fuck those people, huh? If they're out there, I'm going to find them, and I'm going to gnaw on their skulls. Because it still hasn't gotten weird enough for me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Phil Connors Critiques Groundhog Day Celebrations
Phil Connors
This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off, waiting to worship a rat. What a hype! Groundhog Day used to mean something in this town. They used to pull the hog out and they used to eat it! You're hypocrites! All of you! You got a problem with what I'm saying? Untie your tongue, and you come out here and talk. Am I upsetting you, Princess? You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.
[to the people; to Larry; Larry shakes his head; to Rita]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Minor Misunderstanding Between Friends
Sun Green
Are you OK?
Don Johnston
It was just a minor misunderstanding.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Carl Spackler's Gopher Gut Rant
Carl Spackler
Great big gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts. How about a nice, cool drink, varmints? Scum! Slime! Menace to the golfing industry! You're a disgrace and you're varmints. You're one of the lowest members of the food chain and you'll probably be replaced by the rat. Well, I have been pushed. I think it's about time that somebody teaches these varmints a little lesson about morality and about what it's like to be a decent, upstanding member of a society! Come to Carl, varmint. Come to Carl. Ah! Okay, I guess we're playing for keeps now. I guess the kidding around is pretty much over, huh? I guess it's just a matter now of pumping about fifteen thousand gallons of water down there to teach you a little bit of a lesson, is that it? I think it is!
[Walking up to a gopher hole, dragging a giant water hose between his legs; puts the nozzle down the hole; sticks his hand down the hole and flips off the gopher which bites him in return]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Finding Passion in Life
Herman Blume
What's the secret, Max?
Max Fischer
The secret?
Herman Blume
Yeah, you seem to have it pretty figured out.
Max Fischer
The secret, I don't know... I guess you've just gotta find something you love to do and then... do it for the rest of your life. For me, it's going to Rushmore.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication in a tense moment
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
What was that noise?
Marty Lewis
What noise?
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
] Get the tap off the goddamn telephone! Do you think you're playing with children here?!
[[yelling into the receiver]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Improving Language Skills Through Communication
Bob Harris
My Japanese is getting better. We started speaking English.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Quest for Revenge and Camaraderie
Steve Zissou
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to join me is more than welcome.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Search for Home and Belonging
Larry Darrell
Hey, pal, that's my coat. Don't worry, I'm leaving.
Joseph
Where are you going now, Larry?
Larry Darrell
I'm going home.
Joseph
But where is your home, Larry?
Larry Darrell
America.
[pause]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Character Description in Rushmore
Herman Blume
112 pounds. Black hair. Glasses... Oval face.
[Describing Max to the police]
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Unexpected Fatherhood Revelation
Don Johnston
Hold on a second. Wait. I know you think that I'm your father, don't you?
The Kid
What?
Don Johnston
Just tell me. You can talk to me, chief.
The Kid
Man, you're fucked up!
Don Johnston
Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dinner Announcement and Contest Winner Revealed
Tripper Harrison
Attention! Here's an update on tonight's dinner. It was veal. I repeat, veal. The winner of tonight's mystery meat contest is Jeffrey Corbin who guessed "some kind of beef." Congratulations, Jeffery. You've just won a brand new Chrysler Cordoba and you can pick it up at Morty's office.
[on loudspeaker]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing American Identity and Soldierhood
John Winger
Cut it out! Cut it out! Cut it out! The hell's the matter with you?! Stupid! We're all very different people. We're not Watusi. We're not Spartans. We're Americans, with a capital A', huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We're the underdog. We're mutts! Here's proof: his nose is cold! But there's no animal that's more faithful, that's more loyal, more loveable than the mutt. Who saw ]? Who cried when Old Yeller got shot at the end? Nobody cried when Old Yeller got shot? I'm sure. I cried my eyes out. So we're all dogfaces. We're all very, very different, but there is one thing that we all have in common: we were all stupid enough to enlist in the Army. We're mutants. There's something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us. Something seriously wrong with us! We're soldiers, but we're American soldiers! We've been kickin ass for 200 years! We're 10 and 1! Now we don't have to worry about whether or not we practiced. We don't have to worry about whether Captain Stillman wants to have us hung. All we have to do is to be the great American fighting soldier that is inside each one of us. Now do what I do, and say what I say. And make me proud. Fall in!
[breaking up a fight; [Old Yeller; raises his hand; hands are reluctantly raised; even more hands go up]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Outsmarting the Enemy Through Animalistic Thinking
Carl Spackler
I have to laugh, because I've outsmarted myself. My foe, my enemy, is an ], and in order to conquer him, I have to think like an animal, and, whenever possible, to look like one. I've gotta get inside this dude's pelt and crawl around for a few days.
[[animal]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflections on Nixon and Society's Illusions
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
] mannequin] Bronco ... Nixon.
[Urging his dog to attack a [[Richard Nixon|Nixon]
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Confronting Gozer with Authority and Humor
Man
Hey, flat-top!
[offscreen]
Peter Venkman
Have you missed us?
Ray
Gozer the Gozerian! In the name of the county of Summerville, state of Oklahoma, the US Fish and Wildlife Service, all the members of Ducks Unlimited, the Association for the Advancement of Retired Persons. I command you under the National Invasive Species Act to depart this world immediately.
Peter
Bravo.
Winston Zeddemore
I think she remembers us.
Gozer
Are you... a god?
Winston
Ray?
Peter
Oh, come on, Ray!
Ray
...Yes.
Winston
Yeah, we're all gods.
Peter
Yeah, I mean, we're all pretty dang special out here. On a personal note, ]. I mean, it wasn't working for me. My friends didn't think so, I know yours didn't.
[[Ghostbusters|I thought that we had busted up for good]
Winston
Okay, playtime's over. Let's toast this muffin.
Peter
Light em up!
[laughs as they energize their proton packs]
Winston
Man, I love that sound!
Peter
On the count of three. Go on two. One, two!
Ray
Yeah, nothing stings like a billion electron-volts!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mental Struggles and Duality of Self
Bob Wiley
Roses are red, violets are blue; I'm a schizophrenic...and so am I.
[Telling another joke to the hospital staff; staff laugh]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Manipulation and Deception in Relationships
Steve Zissou
That pregnant slut is playing us like a cheap fiddle!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Environmental Agency Encounter in Ghostbusters
Peter Venkman
Can I help you?
Walter Peck
I'm Walter Peck, I'm with the Environmental Protection... ...Agency, the third district.
[Venkman shakes hands with Peck, with Ectoplasm on his hands]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing the Present Moment
The Kid
So, as just a guy who gave another guy a sandwich, you have any philosophical tips or anything, for a guy on a-kind of- road trip?
Don Johnston
You asking me?
The Kid
Yeah.
Don Johnston
Well, the past is gone, I know that. The future isn't here yet, whatever it's going to be. So, all there is, is this. The present. That's it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Love, Sacrifice, and Unresolved Feelings
Larry Darrell
I broke this chair once. Because I couldn't spend the rest of my life with you.
Isabel Bradley
Sooner or later, she would have let you down. I wanted you to see that. I've never stopped thinking about you. I love you. I just wanted you to be happy. I didn't want anyone else to hurt you.
Larry Darrell
So you killed my fiancée for me?
Isabel Bradley
Just like you killed my fiancé. I was in love with Larry Darrell, but you had to take him away to go and find the meaning of your goddamned life!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Feeding Time on the Court
Pound
Feeding time, boys!
Porky Pig
Ya, gee--
[Stuttering fearfully; Bang and Bupkus butt-slammed Porky, making him flat.]
Pound
Goodbye!
[Stepping on Sylvester who has the ball]
Bupkus
Fore!
[Hitting Tweety]
Daffy Duck
But, mommy, I don't want to go to school today.
[Dizzy]
Daffy Duck
I want to stay home and bake cookies with you!
[Hugging Bupkus's face]
Pound
This is gonna be fun.
[Chuckling; Jumps off]
Lola Bunny
I'm open, I'm open.
Bugs Bunny
Lola, Lola, heads up!
Pound
Belly flop!
Bugs Bunny
Look out!
[Bugs pushes Lola out of the way, and he gets crushed instead. Lola rolls around and drops on the ground. As she gets up, she looks and feels shocked seeing Bugs crushed by Pound.]
Lola Bunny
Oh, my! Bugs! Bugs!
[Gasps; Crowd gasps in horror and she screams and runs to Pound.]
Pound
Is this your man?
[Mockingly; Gets off Bugs and walks away chuckling]
Lola Bunny
Are you okay?
[Worried]
Bugs Bunny
Me? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Are you okay?
Lola Bunny
Oh, Bugs... thank you.
[Smiling]
Bugs Bunny
Aw, it was nothing.
Lola Bunny
That was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
[Kisses Bugs and walks away leaving Bugs blushing with awe and hearts in his eyes.]
Michael Jordan
Time-out.
Elmer Fudd
The Monstars. The Monstars.
[feeling dizzy]
Witch Hazel
Clear!
[The pads shock Taz and he twitches around. There are words on his chest that say, "Eat at Joe's".]
Michael Jordan
Okay, we need a fifth player.
Daffy Duck
Hey, coach, listen. You got any more of that secret stuff? I think it's starting to wear off.
[Flexing his muscles then deflates]
Michael Jordan
It didn't wear off. It was just water. You guys had the special stuff inside of you all along.
Daffy Duck
Yeah, yeah, I knew that. But listen, you got any more?
[Nodding]
Lola Bunny
Yeah, I'll take double.
Porky Pig
Er, can I have some too?
[Beaky Buzzard who is bandaged nods to Michael]
Michael Jordan
Stan?
Stan Podolak
Yeah? Uh, me?
Michael Jordan
You're in at center. Just guard the big guy, okay?
[Stan smiles and chuckles happily]
Stan Podolak
Guard him? Guard him? I'll smother him! I'll be all over him like a cheap suit! I'll be on him like stink on rice! I tell you; he's going down!
[Taking off his jacket; he falls down]
Stan Podolak
Michael, over here. Over here, over here, I'm open, I'm open!
[Calling to Michael; Michael throws the ball to Stan]
Michael Jordan
Yes!
[The crowd cheered]
Nerdluck Slave
Ha ha! Nice shot!
[Cheering; Swackhammer slams his hand down to the Nerdluck and he is not happy about it.]
Pound
Big man pancake!
[Getting off Stan as the others get off]
Blanko
Hey, no fair.
[The Monstars walk away from Stan who is flat as a pancake]
Bugs, Lola, Daffy
Ooh!
Little Medical Dog
Let's get him outta here!
Lola Bunny
Eww!
[Disgusted, holding her nose; The Nerdluck slaves groan in disgust]
Pepe Le Pew
Oh, my.
[Putting a clothes pin on his nose]
Michael Jordan
How'd he do that?
Bugs Bunny
Aw, anybody could do dat, doc. Even you. Watch dis.
[Grabbing Daffy's neck]
Daffy Duck
Watch what? See? No sweat. This is Looney Tune Land.
[Choking; Bugs stretches Daffy's neck]
Michael Jordan
Ten seconds to go? Thanks for telling me... doc.
Marvin the Martian
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Your Airness, but if you don't find a fifth player, your team will forfeit the game.
[Worried]
Michael Jordan
Forfeit?
Marvin the Martian
Precisely, Sir Altitude.
[Nodding]
Michael Jordan
No way. We'll find someone.
Swackhammer
Whoa, whoa, whoa! I didn't know ] was in this picture.
[Surprised; jumping from his seat; [Dan Aykroyd]
Bill Murray
Hey! Perhaps I could be of some assistance.
[pops up near the end of the game]
Bill Murray
All right.
Michael Jordan
All right, we need to score two points...
Bill Murray
Here's how I see it. ]?
[To Daffy; [w:Daffy Duck|Duck]
Daffy Duck
Yes.
Bill Murray
You kick it in to ] down in the post.
[[w:Lola Bunny|the girl bunny]
Lola Bunny
Yeah?
Bill Murray
You dish it back out to ].
[to Lola; [w:Bugs Bunny|the guy bunny]
Lola Bunny
Got it!
[Seriously]
Bill Murray
You swing it to Mike over here. You go to the hole and dominate.
Michael Jordan
Bill, we on defense.
Bugs Bunny
Oh, yeah.
[Agreeing with Michael]
Bill Murray
Whoa, ho, ho! I don't play defense.
Michael Jordan
Typical.
Bill Murray
All right. You're gonna have to listen to Mike on this, guys. Listen up.
Michael Jordan
Somebody steal the ball, get it to me, and I'll score before the time runs out.
Bill Murray
Don't lose that confidence. OK! Paws and wings in here! All right!
[stacks hands with the team]
Bill Murray
This is why I was born. I thrive on pressure.
Daffy Duck
Excuse me. Uh, sorry.
[Tugging Bill's shorts]
Bill Murray
Yo, yo. Easy on the trousers, Daf. Easy, man.
Daffy Duck
Pardon me. Um, Mr. Murray, something's really been bugging me.
Bill Murray
Yeah?
Daffy Duck
Just how did you get here anyway?
[Pound stops to look at Bill Murray]
Bill Murray
] a friend of mine. Just had a teamster come and drop me off, you know.
[[w:Ivan Reitman|Producer's; Pound rolls his eyes while listening, he growls and shakes his head in annoyance]
Daffy Duck
Uh-huh. Well, that's how it goes.
Bill Murray
You see this uh, kinda chunky fellow over here?
[Sees Pound making a face and chuckling rudely at Lola]
Daffy Duck
Uh-huh.
[Sees Pound and nods his head]
Daffy Duck
Ooh. Ooh, that's good. Oh, yes.
Bill Murray
All right. Let's do it. You the duck.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Accusations and Connections Unraveled
Sam
I was, until yesterday, a guidance counselor at Blue Bay High School. A student there is accusing me of rape.
Kenneth Bowden
Male or female?
Sam
The student is Kelly Van Ryan.
Kenneth Bowden
As in Sandra Van Ryan?
Sam
As in I'm fucked.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Observation of Nature's Upside-Down Wonders
Steve Zissou
The Arctic Night-lights. Yeah. "As if the natural world's been turned upside down." Lord Mandrake. Vikram, get some cutaways of this miracle. Klaus, Ogata, put out the deck fires before we sink.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting the Unknown in Ghostbusters
Peter Venkman
We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!
Hotel Manager
Did you see it? What was it?
Ray Stantz
We got it!
[holding up the steaming ghost-trap]
Hotel Manager
What is it? Will there be any more of them?
Ray Stantz
Sir, what you had there was what we referred to as a focused, non-terminal repeating phantasm, or a Class-5 full-roaming vapor. Real nasty one, too.
[coughs]
Peter Venkman
And now... ...let's talk seriously. Now, for the entrapment, we're gonna have to ask you for four big ones, $4,000 for that, but we are having a special this week on proton charging and storage of the beast, and that's only going to come to $1,000, fortunately.
[clears his throat; Spengler holds up four fingers behind the Manager; Spengler holds up one finger]
Hotel Manager
$5,000? I had no idea it would be so much; I won't pay it.
Peter Venkman
Well, that's all right. We can just put it right back in there.
Ray Stantz
Yeah, we certainly can, Dr. Venkman.
Hotel Manager
No, no, no, no! All right. Anything.
Peter Venkman
Thank you.
[smiling]
Ray Stantz
Thank you. Hope we can help you again. Coming through! One Class-5 full-roaming vapor. Move em out!
[to the hotel guests]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Perceptions of Danger in Everyday Life
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
You were looking for a bomb in a pack of cigarettes?
[Reacting to a police officer's testimony in court]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Innovative Walkie-Talkies for Underwater Exploration
Steve Zissou
Supposedly ] and his cronies invented the idea of putting walkie-talkies into the helmet. But we made ours with a special rabbit ear on the top so we could pipe in some music.
[[Jacques-Yves Cousteau|Cousteau]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Detective Encounter with Larry Darrell
French Detective
Monsieur Darrell, we are the police.
Larry Darrell
Yeah, I noticed your shoes.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Warning About the Phone
Wallace Ritchie
Stay away from that phone!
[shoots phone]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Question of Identity and Connection
Herman Blume
Dirk?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Hitman's Insensitive Confession
Wallace Ritchie
Sorry I get a little bit insensitive, but I'm a hitman!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Murder Investigation Reveals Disturbing Truths
French Detective
We dragged her body from the river. Her throat was cut with a razor.
[at the morgue; Sophie's body is on a slab]
Larry Darrell
What?
[in disbelief]
French Detective
Her throat was cut with a razor. It could have been any one of her friends. They are the vermin of the city.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Deadline Approaches Amidst Chaos
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
Marty, where the hell you been? I've been looking all over for you.
Marty Lewis
You are not registered at your hotel. Your rental car is reported stolen. Personally I couldn't give a shit, but you owe me a story.
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
Is it due? Am I late?
Marty Lewis
You've got a deadline in 19 hours. Now where's my story?
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
It's right in there. I'm working on it. Great, too. It's developing very fast. I think it could be the best thing I've ever done. All I've got to do now is write it up.
[Thompson points towards the courtroom]
Marty Lewis
] Write it up. You have 19 hours.
[[mutters; sternly, pointing at Thompson]
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
You move like a cat, Marty
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflections on Friendship and Loss
Isabel Bradley
I'm gonna miss him so much. I wish I'd been a better friend to him.
[about Elliott Templeton, who's had a stroke]
Larry Darrell
Like you were to Sophie?
Isabel Bradley
Is she okay?
Larry Darrell
When I came back yesterday afternoon, she'd gone.
Isabel Bradley
What happened to your face?
Larry Darrell
She's gone for good.
Isabel Bradley
What?
[in disbelief]
Larry Darrell
She met up with some old friends, I guess. They got her drinking Żubrówka. One of them slit her throat and dropped her in the Seine.
Isabel Bradley
Oh, my God!
Larry Darrell
I don't give a damn if they catch who killed her. What I want to know is how you got her to take the first drink. What'd you do, get her going on Bob and the baby? Did you get her down and keep her there?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Calm Amidst Chaos with Raw Wisdom
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
No need to panic. I'll just lash together a few raw facts, a little bit of old Negro wisdom, and this nightmare is over.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Campers' Lights Out Announcement
Tripper Harrison
Attention all campers! Uh, it's now 9:30 and that's lights out time; 9:30 as you know. Tomorrow is Parent's Day and you must look rested or Morty will be sent to the state penitentiary.
[on loudspeaker]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ghostbusters Prepare for Urgent Meeting with Mayor
Winston Zeddemore
Hey, guard! Look, I want to make a phone call. Yeah, I just work with these guys, but I wasn't even there!
Egon Spengler
It's not the girl, Peter, it's the building. Something terrible is about to enter our world, and this building is obviously the door. The architect's name was Ivo Shandor. I found it in Tobin's Spirit Guide. He was also a doctor. Performed a lot of unnecessary surgery. And then in 1920, he started a secret society.
Guard
Okay, Ghostbusters, the Mayor wants to see you guys. Whole island's going crazy, let's go.
Peter Venkman
I got to split, the Mayor wants to rap with me about some things.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Name Confusion Between Characters
Sun Green
So, what's your name?
Don Johnston
Don Johnston.
Sun Green
Really? Don Johnson?
Don Johnston
No, not Johnson. Johnston, with "t".
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Impact of Divorce on Children
Herman Blume
Kids don't like it when their parents get divorced.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Indifference with Provocative Words
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
There, chew on that gibberish for awhile, you heartless scum!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Complexity of Relationships and Personal Struggles
Herman Blume
She's sweet, but she's fucked up.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Comment on attire and absence
Don Johnston
That was quite an outfit you weren't wearing earlier.
[to Lolita]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Herman Blume inquires about Max's plans
Herman Blume
Did Max have something planned for us today? A trip to a museum or something?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflicting Aspirations in Relationships
Larry Darrell
I wanna put off the wedding for a while. I wanna put off the job, too. For a while, anyway.
Isabel Bradley
I don't understand. In your letter all you talked about was coming back and getting married and starting the job.
Larry Darrell
I lied. I didn't know I was lying. But I guess I was.
Isabel Bradley
I see.
Larry Darrell
I don't think I'm the guy you wanna marry right now. This isn't the old Mr. Sunshine. I'm not happy. I can't make myself happy. I couldn't make you happy. I just wanna think. I need to think. And I don't have much experience in that field.
Isabel Bradley
Think"? Think about what?
Larry Darrell
I don't know. Me, you, our lives. I'll tell you when I start thinking.
Isabel Bradley
So you want me and everyone else to just go on and on sitting here, waiting for you to figure out the meaning of life?
Larry Darrell
Well, sort of, yeah.
Isabel Bradley
Well, that's just great.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Consequences of Inaction and Responsibility
Steve Zissou
You hung us out to dry. If we don't handle this right, we're gonna all get murdered. Including her unborn British child.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Doomed and Screwheads: A Reflection on Society
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
Hi sir, it's Harris from the Post. Can I get you anything sir?
Candidate
How's the family Harris?
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
Oh the family, well that's bad news. The screwheads finally came and took my daughter away. Let me ask you a question sir, what is this country doing for the doomed? There are two kinds of people in this country, the doomed and the screwheads. Savage tribal thugs who live off their illegal incomes, burrowed deep out there; no respect for human dignity. They don't know what you and I understand, you know what I mean.
Candidate
You ever play football, Harris?
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
Yes sir, thank you sir. I played in college, and they're gonna get your daughter too sir. I've heard their rallies, they like Julie but Tricia... and they really hate you sir. You know that one and a half of the State Senate of Utah are screwheads. You know I was never really frightened by the bopheads and the potheads with their silliness never really frightened me either, but these goddam screwheads, they terrify me. And the poor doomed, the young, and the silly, the honest, the weak, the Italians ... they're doomed, they're lost, they're helpless, they're somebody else's meal, they're like pigs in the wilderness.
Candidate
Come here Harris, come here. Fuck the doomed!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion on Smoking and Cannabis Sativa
Rita
Daddy, you're not supposed to be smoking.
Winston
Oh, no, no. This is just some assorted herbs, some cheeba.
Don Johnston
Let me see that
Don Johnston
Yep, it's just cannabis sativa.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Seeking Clarity in a World of Confusion
Bob Harris
You want more mysterious? I'll just try and think, "Where the hell's the whiskey?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Conversation About Headaches
Chauffeur
Sir? Hey, sir. Hey sir!
Chauffeur
Sir, is anything wrong?
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
My head!
Chauffeur
Your head?
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
Who sent you here? Give me some answers ... straight answers.
Chauffeur
Yeah, okay, what do you want to know.
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
Where am I?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Welcome to a Newcomer
Tripper Harrison
Hey, you must be the short, depressed kid we ordered. Glad you could make it.
[to Rudy]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
An Unexpected Encounter with an Insurance Agent
Sam
What do you do to your neck?
[Bwoden is wearing a neck brace]
Kenneth Bowden
Oh, this? I don't have to wear it all the time. There was an insurance guy around here earlier.
[looks out the window and takes it off]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Pressure and Tension in Bowling Competition
Ernie McCracken
It all comes down to this roll. Roy Munson, a man-child, with a dream to topple bowling giant Ernie McCracken. If he strikes, he's the 1979 Odor-Eaters Champion. He's got one foot in the frying pan and one in the pressure cooker. Believe me, as a bowler, I know that right about now, your bladder feels like an overstuffed vacuum cleaner bag and your butt is kinda like an about-to-explode bratwurst.
Roy
Hey. Do you mind? I wasn't talking when you were bowling.
Ernie McCracken
Was I talking out loud? Was I? Sorry. Good luck.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Day He Became a Man
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
He became a man the day of the greatest game he ever played. Everything he ever knew about common decency and morality he learned that day in December from Alan "The Horse" Ameche; and today in the Superbowl he would earn his wings. The crowd had assembled; a crowd of America's elite. Toyata salesmen from all around the country—orientals and even those suspected of being orientals—stacked on the thirty yard line watching him sweat and wipe caked blood from his face. The Gallow brothers—Ernest and Julio—party guys who had skinned a few Mexicans and forced them to carry them on their shoulders down to the pre-game tailgate parties at the colosseum. The Pepsi and Coca Cola bottlers of America—Coke adds life; It's the real thing—bombarded by missiles; flying flaming matchbook covers. The waterheads from General Motors up in the top seats where they belong; getting the worst of the pollution. All sorts of weird motherfuckers were at the game.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Phil Connors' Determination to End Winter
Phil Connors
Once again, the eyes of the nation have turned here to this...tiny village in western Pennsylvania. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. There is no way this winter is ever going to end, as long as this groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don't see any other way out. He's got to be stopped. And I have to stop him.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Reporter’s Frustration with Hotel Security
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
Super Sunday. Dawn. My recollections of the last twelve hours are very dim. All that I know for certain is that shortly after I checked in, two third-world drug abusers disguised as hotel employees forced their way into my room; ransacked it, drank all my liquor, did all my drugs, stole my dinner. If the security precautions aren't beefed up at this hotel; I'm looking for safer accommodations. It's a sad state of affairs when this reporter has to go heavily armed to breakfast.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggling with Fatherhood and Biological Connections
Steve Zissou
I mean, I know I want him to think of me like a father. But the fact that there's an outside chance that he could really be my actual... biological son... is very difficult for me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Phil Connors on Television and Weather Predictions
Phil Connors
This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather. I'm Phil Connors, so long.
[sarcastically]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Conversation About Drinking and Eating
Don Johnston
Wanna get a drink?
Carmen
No, I don't drink.
Don Johnston
Later, get something to eat?
Carmen
I don't... eat.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Question about color in a foreign setting
Bob Harris
Which one's burgundy?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Choices During Pregnancy
Steve Zissou
You really think it's cool for you to hit the sauce with a bun in the oven?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critique of Corporate Loyalty and Risk
Steve Zissou
I've never seen a bond company stooge stick his neck out like that.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Burden of Life's Debt
Larry Darrell
When Piedmont died, I had to pay him back for my life. I found out there's another debt to pay — for the privilege of being alive. I thought Sophie was my reward for trying to live a good life. Uh uh. There is no payoff — not now.
[after Sophie's murder]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Protecting the Unpaid Intern
Steve Zissou
Don't point that gun at him, he's an unpaid intern.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Friend or Enemy in the Game
Bill Murray
175 yards, OK little fella. You my friend or are you my enemy? You are my friend, right? You are my ally. You are my associate, my personal assistant. You are my weapon. You are leaving.
[Sighs talking to the golf ball; Hits the golf ball]
Michael Jordan
Oh. Great shot.
Stan Podolak
Mmm. Nice shot, Mr. Murray.
[Clapping]
Michael Jordan
You can stop posing now. Good try.
[Chuckling softly]
Larry Bird
Not bad. Not bad.
[Walks in next]
Bill Murray
Something for you all to shoot at.
[Walking up to Michael]
Michael Jordan
Hit it good, Larry.
Larry Bird
Do my best.
Michael Jordan
It was a good shot.
[To Bill]
Bill Murray
Yeah, I know. Mike, I gotta ask you something. The NBA has to face reality. What's happening to these players is serious. They're gonna need new players with talent, guys who are skilled but never really thought about a professional career before. You think I got a shot? Come on, really?
[Thinks for a moment; Michael shakes his head]
Michael Jordan
No.
Bill Murray
Don't kid me.
Michael Jordan
Listen, it's a man's game, and you can't play.
Bill Murray
What if I tried really hard?
Larry Bird
Can you keep it down? I'm tryna hit this ball.
Bill Murray
It's because I'm white, isn't it?
[after Michael is reluctant to let him join the NBA]
Michael Jordan
No. Larry's white. So what?
Bill Murray
Larry's not white, Larry's clear. You got it, Larry!
[Larry hits the ball]
Michael Jordan
Get inside his ball.
Stan Podolak
Whoa.
[Impressed]
Larry Bird
You clowns can't beat that. It's the best shot I ever hit.
Michael Jordan
You haven't been playing long.
Larry Bird
It's a Hall-of-Fame shot.
Stan Podolak
Real nice shot, Mr. Bird.
Larry Bird
Larry. please.
Stan Podolak
Nice shot, Mr. Larry.
Bill Murray
Nice shot Larry.
Stan Podolak
You can do this. Don't be nervous. Don't be nervous. You can do this.
[To Michael]
Bill Murray
Larry, you feel that the NBA has to face reality, don't ya? It's just gotta start looking for some more dominant players in places they've never looked before.
Stan Podolak
Just look at the ball. Visualize the shot where you want it to go.
[Continuing]
Michael Jordan
Right, right, right.
[Takes the golf ball and pin]
Stan Podolak
Be the ball. Be the ball.
Michael Jordan
Get off the tee.
[Annoyed]
Stan Podolak
All right.
Larry Bird
You can't jump.
Bill Murray
I... Yeah, go on.
Michael Jordan
Close to the pin?
Bill Murray
Close to the pin, for dinner?
Larry Bird
Sounds good.
Bill Murray
I'll go close to the pin.
Larry Bird
I'll take some of that.
Bill Murray
That's not bad. Good shot.
Michael Jordan
Get down! Look at that. Look at that spin.
[Looks on as the ball goes down]
Michael Jordan
Come on.
Bill Murray
It...is... alive!
Michael Jordan
Yes! My first hole in one! Yes!
[Gives Bill and Larry high fives]
Bill Murray
Oh.
Larry Bird
Don't say this.
Michael Jordan
Larry, nothing but the bottom of the cup.
[Takes the flag out]
Bill Murray
That's his ball too.
Michael Jordan
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's my ball, sorry.
Stan Podolak
Wait, wait, wait. Let me get a picture of this.
Michael Jordan
You guys are jealous.
Stan Podolak
All right. Here we go. Now you're gonna smile. You reach in, you reach in for the ball, and then you smile, OK?
Michael Jordan
Yes.
[Leaning in and reaching in for the ball]
Stan Podolak
And you think, "This is good.
Michael Jordan
Just take the picture!
Stan Podolak
All right. OK.
Bill Murray
What kind of camera is that?
Stan Podolak
It's just a--
Bill Murray
Would you not point that at me, please? And close the lens cap!
[Grabbing the camera; Tosses the camera away]
Stan Podolak
I didn't do anything! I just took--
Larry Bird
Where'd he go?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Nostalgia for a Lost Bartender's Craft
Steve Zissou
What a shame. They had a bartender here, Kino, made the best rum cannonball I've ever tasted.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dr. Thompson's Demands at the Hotel
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
Dr. Thompson, Blast magazine. I hope you have my suite ready because I need some supplies sent up right away. I'm going to need an IBM Selectric, heavy duty; a Xerox telecopier, the 516 model. Uh, I'm also going to need one of those Sony cassettees, big mother, 1800 ... lots of white paper, heavy bond, Bic pens, medium point blue ...
Hotel clerk
Sir! Please!
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
May as well get the room service cracking. Give me three crab louies for starters. A quart of Chivas, lots of ice, quart of mezcal, 16 grapefruit ...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Lasting Memory of an Elephant
Jack Corcoran
You know, they say an elephant never forgets. But what they don't tell you is that you never forget an elephant.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Challenge of True Holiness
Larry Darrell
It's easy to be a holy man on top of a mountain.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Fair Play and Competitive Spirit in Space Jam
Marvin the Martian
Now, let's all play fair. Here.
Bill Murray
Yo, spaceman, don't choke now. Come on. Come on, come on.
Daffy Duck
It's gut-check time!
[He jerks his legs back and forth like a bullet.]
Bill Murray
This must be mine. Whoo-hoo! This belongs to me. I'm going left! I'm going left! I'm going left!
[As he dribbles the ball, Pound pushes Daffy out of his stomach, holding in pain.; Passes the ball to Michael and Pound goes after Bill.]
Michael Jordan
Yes!
Bill Murray
Whoa! Don't ever trust an earthling.
Lola Bunny
Mike!
Bang
Get the rabbit! Get the girl!
Daffy Duck
Come on! Come on! I'm open! I'm open!
[Jumping; Lola passes the ball; Bupkus backhands Daffy and reaches for the ball]
Bupkus
That's mine!
Bugs Bunny
Not today!
[Grabs the ball with his ears and throws it to Bill]
Bupkus
Hey!
Blanko
Bring it on, dude.
Bill Murray
Whoopsie-daisy. Whoo-hoo.
[Trips Blanko]
Pound
You're mine!
Bill Murray
Mike, I'm open! Never mind.
[A shocked Pound sees Michael in the air]
Hubie
The Tunes win!
Michael Jordan
That was a nice pass, man.
Bill Murray
That was a great stretch for the basket, too.
Michael Jordan
You know, you really got some skills. You might be able to play in the NBA.
Michael Jordan
No. Come on.
[Puts his hand on Bill's shoulder]
Bill Murray
No! No! I'm gonna retire right now, and that's all there is to it. I'm gonna go out on top, undefeated and untied. That's the way it's gonna be. You go on ahead and celebrate with your teammates.
Michael Jordan
No, come on and help us. Celebrate with us.
Bill Murray
I'd like to, but I have to ice down my knees right away, OK? They're starting to go.
Michael Jordan
All right. Good-bye, man.
Bill Murray
All right. See ya.
[Walks away]
Michael Jordan
Are you sure?
Bill Murray
Yes! Definitely sure. Definitely.
[Leaving the court]
Swackhammer
Losers!
Monstars
Sorry.
Swackhammer
Choke artists!
Monstars
Sorry again.
Swackhammer
Wait til I get ya back on Moron Mountain. All right. The party's over. Get in the spaceship.
[Michael walks over to the Monstars as Swackhammer stomps on Bupkus's foot in anger, which causes him to howl in pain.; To the Monstars]
Michael Jordan
Why do you take it from this guy?
[To the Monstars]
Bupkus
Because... he's bigger.
[Scared]
Pound
He's bigger?
[Raising an eyebrow]
Bang
Than we used... to be.
[Figuring it out slowly]
Monstars
Wait a minute.
[Finally realizing that they're now bigger than he is; Then they turn to Swackhammer glaring angrily at him. Swackhammer feels something is not right.]
Swackhammer
What are you doing?
[Nervously]
Bupkus
Come here!
Swackhammer
Hey! Wait! What are you doing?! Wait! Let go!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Camp Announcement on Activities and Health
Tripper Harrison
Attention, campers. Arts and crafts has been canceled due to bad taste. All junior girls are now junior boys...and Nurse DeMarco says that the raccoon fever epidemic is officially over.
[on loudspeaker]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Encounter with a Comedy Legend
Bill Murray
Is that how you say hello where you come from?
[after Columbus shoots him]
Columbus
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I can't believe I shot Bill Murray.
[realizing]
Tallahassee
Mr. Murray?
Bill Murray
I'm just Bill, I think, now.
Tallahassee
Bill?
Bill Murray
Yeah?
Tallahassee
I don't think we're gonna be able to stitch this.
[pokes at Bill's wound]
Bill Murray
Ah. That's still tender.
Tallahassee
You think you might pull through?
Bill Murray
No.
Columbus
If it means anything now, I am so sorry. It was just instinctive.
Bill Murray
It was my bad. I was never a very good practical joker.
Little Rock
So do you have any regrets?
Bill Murray
], maybe.
[[w:Garfield: The Movie|Garfield; gives a long exhale, like a death rattle...then inhales and does another one before he dies]
Wichita
I'm sorry, he just gets me...but it's very sad.
[suddenly starts snorting and laughing softly, everyone looks at her]
Columbus
Yeah.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration with Incompetence and Neglect
Steve Zissou
Those fucking amateurs. You left your dog, you idiots!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Uncertainty in Filmmaking
Steve Zissou
Nobody knows what's going to happen. And then we film it. That's the whole concept.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Searching for Purpose in the Journey
Steve Zissou
Are you finding what you were looking for... out here with me? I hope so.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Pragmatic Advice on Self-Preservation
Steve Zissou
Just do what you gotta do to cover your ass, Bill.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Wallace Ritchie's Thoughts on Blockbusters
Wallace Ritchie
Blockbuster... Des Moines.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Good News and Bad News Explained
Jack Corcoran
Okay I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is it's all downhill from here. The bad news is you're going to carry me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Steve Zissou's Concern About Swamp Leeches
Steve Zissou
Oh, shit! Swamp leeches. Everybody, check for swamp leeches, and pull them off... Nobody else got hit? I'm the only one? What's the deal?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tripper Harrison's Morning Camp Announcement
Tripper Harrison
Attention. Camp North Star, senior staff, counselors, counselors-in-training, please rise for our national anthem. How about that anthem, huh? Gee, I don't know about you, but I just get a great big lump in my throat every time I hear it. Well, it's, uh, seven o'five in the, uh, AM and it's, uh... Wow! Forty-three degrees on the old Camp North Star weather dial. That is kind of nippy for a June twenty-five, isn't it? Whew. I'm Tripper Harrison. AHH!! AHHHHH!!! Ahhhhh, I'm your head counselor. And this is my wake-up show. I'll be coming at you every morning, about this time, hoping to make your summer camp experience the best available... in this price range. Of course, across the lake, over at Camp Mohawk, uh, they won't be getting up for another hour or so. And when they do, they will be awakened by servants bearing croissants and café au lait. Oops, hope I didn't hit anybody. But over here, at Camp North Star this morning, we're gonna be having a delicious gruel breakfast and don't forget to ask for seconds because it's all the gruel you can eat.
[on loudspeaker; plays bagpipe music; gets out of bed; turns on the coffee and spits]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Longing for a Perfect Day Repeatedly
Phil Connors
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over and over and over?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Advice on Wealth and Determination
Herman Blume
You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.
[Speech to the students of Rushmore Academy]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Uncertainty in Repeated Days
Phil Connors
Yeah, sport, I know there's a blizzard. When are the long-distance lines gonna be repaired? Well, what if there is no tomorrow?! There wasn't one today! Hello? Hello?!
[dial tone; hangs up the phone. He breaks a pencil and places one half in front of the clock and the other on top]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cinderella Story at Augusta
Carl Spackler
What an incredible Cinderella story! This unknown, comes out of nowhere, to lead the pack at Augusta. He's at the final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2-iron, I think. Oh, he got all of that. The crowd is standing on its feet here at Augusta. The normally reserved Augusta crowd is going wild... for this young Cinderella who's come out of nowhere. He's got about 350 yards left, he's going to hit about a 5-iron, it looks like, don't you think? He's got a beautiful backswing... that's- oh, he got all of that one! He's gotta be pleased with that! The crowd is just on its feet here. He's a Cinderella boy. Tears in his eyes, I guess, as he lines up this last shot. He's got about 195 yards left, and he's got a, looks like he's got about an 8-iron. This crowd has gone deadly silent... Cinderella story, out of nowhere, former greenskeeper, now about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac- it's in the hole! It's in the hole!
[standing in an ornamental flowerbed; swings, pulverizes a flower; pauses; swings, pulverizes another flower; swings, pulverizes yet another flower]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unique Characterization of Carl Lazlo
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
You couldn't invent someone like Carl Lazlo. He was a ... he was one of a kind. He was a mutant. A real heavyweight water buffalo type ... who could chew his way through a concrete wall and spit out the other side covered with lime and chalk and look good in doing it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Question About Farewells and Frights
Bob Harris
Aren't you gonna say, "Have a good fright?
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Jealousy and Perception in Relationships
Steve Zissou
You know, I'd be jealous about you staying at Ali's place, except I always thought he was kind of a closet ].
[[queer]
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Covering Up Operation Henessey
Steve Zissou
Go downstairs and throw a tarp over anything that says "Operation Henessey" on it.
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Vacation Plans and Beach Dreams
Bunny Breckinridge
Guess where I'm going next week.
Ed Wood
I don't know. Where?
Bunny
Me-hee-co. Guess what I'm doing when I get there.
Ed
I don't know — lie on a beach.
Bunny
Wrong. I'm getting my first series of hormone injections. And when those girls kick in, they're gonna take out my organs and make me... a woman.
Ed
Are you serious?
Bunny
It's something I've wanted to do for a long time. But it wasn't until I saw your movie that I realized I have to take action! Goodbye, penis!
Dolores Fuller
Would you please keep it down?
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Misunderstanding in a Zombie Encounter
Tallahassee
Bill Murray, you're a zombie?
[shocked]
Bill Murray
Ow, I'm on fire! Ouch!
[cries in pain]
Tallahassee
You're not a zombie, you're talking and...You're okay?
[surprised]
Bill Murray
The hell I am!
Wichita
I'm sorry. I didn't know it was...It was "you" you.
[also surprised]
Tallahassee
Are you...? What's with the get-up?
Bill Murray
Oh, I do it to blend in. You know. Zombies don't mess with other zombies. Buddy of mine, makeup guy, he showed me how to do this. Corn starch. You know, some berries, a little licorice for the ladies. Suits my lifestyle, you know. I like to get out and do stuff. Just played nine holes on the Riviera. Just walked on. Nobody there.
Tallahassee
Goddamn it! Bill-Fucking-Murray! I had to get that out. I don't mean to gush. This is so surreal. I mean, you probably get this all the time. Maybe not lately, but I'm such a huge fan of yours. You know, I swear, I've seen every one of your movies a million times. I even loved your dramatic roles and just everything. Six people left in the world and one of them is Bill-Fucking-Murray. I know that's not your middle name. I've been watching you since I was like...Since I could masturbate. I mean, not that they're connected. I gratefully respect you.
[growing excited]
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Comparing Bathroom Cleanliness Standards
Bob Harris
My bathroom is messier than yours.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration with Dolphins Expressed by Zissou
Steve Zissou
Son of a bitch, I'm sick of these dolphins.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.