Bill MurrayQuotes

Bill Murray
Birthday
September 21st, 1950
From
Wilmette, Illinois, USA
Actor

Ghostbusters - Preparing to Confront the Supernatural Challenge

Peter Venkman: All right. This chick is toast!
Peter Venkman: Got your stick?
Ray, Egon, Winston: [together] Holdin'!
Peter Venkman: Heat em up!
Ray, Egon, Winston: [together] Smokin'!
Peter Venkman: Make em haaard!
Ray, Egon, Winston: [together] Ready!
Peter Venkman: Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Ghostbusters - Ghostbusters Prepare for Urgent Meeting with Mayor

Winston Zeddemore: Hey, guard! Look, I want to make a phone call. Yeah, I just work with these guys, but I wasn't even there!
Egon Spengler: It's not the girl, Peter, it's the building. Something terrible is about to enter our world, and this building is obviously the door. The architect's name was Ivo Shandor. I found it in Tobin's Spirit Guide. He was also a doctor. Performed a lot of unnecessary surgery. And then in 1920, he started a secret society.
Guard: Okay, Ghostbusters, the Mayor wants to see you guys. Whole island's going crazy, let's go.
Peter Venkman: I got to split, the Mayor wants to rap with me about some things.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Ghostbusters - Environmental Agency Encounter in Ghostbusters

Peter Venkman: Can I help you?
Walter Peck: [Venkman shakes hands with Peck, with Ectoplasm on his hands] I'm Walter Peck, I'm with the Environmental Protection... ...Agency, the third district.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Ghostbusters - Confronting the Unknown in Ghostbusters

Peter Venkman: We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!
Hotel Manager: Did you see it? What was it?
Ray Stantz: [holding up the steaming ghost-trap] We got it!
Hotel Manager: What is it? Will there be any more of them?
Ray Stantz: [coughs] Sir, what you had there was what we referred to as a focused, non-terminal repeating phantasm, or a Class-5 full-roaming vapor. Real nasty one, too.
Peter Venkman: [clears his throat; Spengler holds up four fingers behind the Manager; Spengler holds up one finger] And now... ...let's talk seriously. Now, for the entrapment, we're gonna have to ask you for four big ones, $4,000 for that, but we are having a special this week on proton charging and storage of the beast, and that's only going to come to $1,000, fortunately.
Hotel Manager: $5,000? I had no idea it would be so much; I won't pay it.
Peter Venkman: Well, that's all right. We can just put it right back in there.
Ray Stantz: Yeah, we certainly can, Dr. Venkman.
Hotel Manager: No, no, no, no! All right. Anything.
Peter Venkman: [smiling] Thank you.
Ray Stantz: [to the hotel guests] Thank you. Hope we can help you again. Coming through! One Class-5 full-roaming vapor. Move em out!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Ghostbusters - The Consequences of Crossing the Streams

Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams.
Peter Venkman: Why?
Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
Peter Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad"?
Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously, and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Ray Stantz: [shocked gasp] Total protonic reversal.
Peter Venkman: Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Ghostbusters - Exterminators Encounter a Skeptical Hotel Guest

Hotel Guest: What are you supposed to be, some kind of a cosmonaut?
Peter Venkman: [chuckles] No, we're exterminators. Somebody saw a cockroach up on 12th.
Hotel Guest: That's gotta be some cockroach.
Peter Venkman: Bite your head off, man.
Ray Stantz: Going up?
Hotel Guest: (No, thanks.) I'll take the next one.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Ghostbusters - Encountering the Unseen in the Library

Librarian Alice: I don't remember seeing any legs, but it definitely had arms, because it reached out for me.
Ray Stantz: [happily] Arms? I can't wait to get a look at this thing!
Peter Venkman: Alice, I'm going to ask you a couple of standard questions, okay? Have you or any of your family been diagnosed schizophrenic? Mentally incompetent?
Librarian Alice: My uncle thought he was St. Jerome.
Peter Venkman: I'd call that a big yes. Uh, are you habitually using drugs, stimulants, alcohol?
Librarian Alice: No.
Peter Venkman: No, no. Just asking. Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?
Library Administrator: [disturbed] (What?) What has that got to do with it?
Peter Venkman: Back off, man. I'm a scientist.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Man Who Knew Too Little - A Warning About the Phone

Wallace Ritchie: [shoots phone] Stay away from that phone!
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The Man Who Knew Too Little - Creating a New Reality Through Identity

Wallace Ritchie: Please don't call me by my real name, it destroys the reality I'm trying to create.
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The Man Who Knew Too Little - Wallace Ritchie's Thoughts on Blockbusters

Wallace Ritchie: Blockbuster... Des Moines.
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The Man Who Knew Too Little - A Request for a Pause in Action

Wallace Ritchie: [while being shot at] Time out! Time out! I got something in my eye, jagoff!
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The Man Who Knew Too Little - A Hitman's Insensitive Confession

Wallace Ritchie: Sorry I get a little bit insensitive, but I'm a hitman!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Kingpin - Pressure and Tension in Bowling Competition

Ernie McCracken: It all comes down to this roll. Roy Munson, a man-child, with a dream to topple bowling giant Ernie McCracken. If he strikes, he's the 1979 Odor-Eaters Champion. He's got one foot in the frying pan and one in the pressure cooker. Believe me, as a bowler, I know that right about now, your bladder feels like an overstuffed vacuum cleaner bag and your butt is kinda like an about-to-explode bratwurst.
Roy: Hey. Do you mind? I wasn't talking when you were bowling.
Ernie McCracken: Was I talking out loud? Was I? Sorry. Good luck.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Kingpin - Unwanted Perfume Request at a Restaurant

1979 Waitress: Tanqueray and Tab.
Ernie McCracken: Keep em comin', sweets, I got a long drive. Do me a favor, will you? Would you mind washing off that perfume before you come back to our table?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Kingpin - Comment on physical appearances in context

Ernie McCracken: It's a small world when you've got unbelievable tits Roy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Kingpin - Gravy Train with Biscuit Wheels

Ernie McCracken: You're on a gravy train with biscuit wheels.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Broken Flowers - Unexpected Fatherhood Revelation

Don Johnston: Hold on a second. Wait. I know you think that I'm your father, don't you?
The Kid: What?
Don Johnston: Just tell me. You can talk to me, chief.
The Kid: Man, you're fucked up!
Don Johnston: Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Broken Flowers - An Inquiry About an Eye Injury

The Kid: What happened to your eye?
Don Johnston: I, uh .., I ran into somebody. Somebody's fist.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Broken Flowers - A Minor Misunderstanding Between Friends

Sun Green: Are you OK?
Don Johnston: It was just a minor misunderstanding.
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Broken Flowers - Embracing the Present Moment

The Kid: So, as just a guy who gave another guy a sandwich, you have any philosophical tips or anything, for a guy on a-kind of- road trip?
Don Johnston: You asking me?
The Kid: Yeah.
Don Johnston: Well, the past is gone, I know that. The future isn't here yet, whatever it's going to be. So, all there is, is this. The present. That's it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Broken Flowers - Reflection on a Missed Gift

Don Johnston: Did I give you that necklace?
Dora: No.
Don Johnston: I should have.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Broken Flowers - Name Confusion Between Characters

Sun Green: So, what's your name?
Don Johnston: Don Johnston.
Sun Green: Really? Don Johnson?
Don Johnston: No, not Johnson. Johnston, with "t".
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Broken Flowers - A Conversation About Drinking and Eating

Don Johnston: Wanna get a drink?
Carmen: No, I don't drink.
Don Johnston: Later, get something to eat?
Carmen: I don't... eat.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Broken Flowers - Discussion on Smoking and Cannabis Sativa

Rita: Daddy, you're not supposed to be smoking.
Winston: Oh, no, no. This is just some assorted herbs, some cheeba.
Don Johnston: Let me see that
Don Johnston: Yep, it's just cannabis sativa.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Broken Flowers - Comment on attire and absence

Don Johnston: [to Lolita] That was quite an outfit you weren't wearing earlier.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Broken Flowers - A Confession of Stalking in a Taurus

Don Johnston: I'm a stalker in a Taurus.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Where the Buffalo Roam - Miscommunication in a tense moment

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: What was that noise?
Marty Lewis: What noise?
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: [[yelling into the receiver] ] Get the tap off the goddamn telephone! Do you think you're playing with children here?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Where the Buffalo Roam - Dr. Thompson's Demands at the Hotel

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Dr. Thompson, Blast magazine. I hope you have my suite ready because I need some supplies sent up right away. I'm going to need an IBM Selectric, heavy duty; a Xerox telecopier, the 516 model. Uh, I'm also going to need one of those Sony cassettees, big mother, 1800 ... lots of white paper, heavy bond, Bic pens, medium point blue ...
Hotel clerk: Sir! Please!
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: May as well get the room service cracking. Give me three crab louies for starters. A quart of Chivas, lots of ice, quart of mezcal, 16 grapefruit ...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Where the Buffalo Roam - A Conversation About Headaches

Chauffeur: Sir? Hey, sir. Hey sir!
Chauffeur: Sir, is anything wrong?
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: My head!
Chauffeur: Your head?
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Who sent you here? Give me some answers ... straight answers.
Chauffeur: Yeah, okay, what do you want to know.
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Where am I?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Where the Buffalo Roam - Deadline Approaches Amidst Chaos

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Marty, where the hell you been? I've been looking all over for you.
Marty Lewis: You are not registered at your hotel. Your rental car is reported stolen. Personally I couldn't give a shit, but you owe me a story.
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Is it due? Am I late?
Marty Lewis: You've got a deadline in 19 hours. Now where's my story?
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: [Thompson points towards the courtroom] It's right in there. I'm working on it. Great, too. It's developing very fast. I think it could be the best thing I've ever done. All I've got to do now is write it up.
Marty Lewis: [[mutters; sternly, pointing at Thompson] ] Write it up. You have 19 hours.
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: You move like a cat, Marty
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Where the Buffalo Roam - Professionalism in Unconventional Situations

Carl Lazlo, Esq.: You're really getting all this?
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: I'm a total professional.
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Where the Buffalo Roam - A Recommendation for an Intense Experience

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Let me recommend ... ah, try blue.
Nurse Cookie: Really? Wow!
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Little bugger gets right on top of you doesn't it?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Where the Buffalo Roam - The Complex Relationship with Drugs and Insanity

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: That's a good question. Let me see ...
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: In my case, you know, I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Where the Buffalo Roam - Doomed and Screwheads: A Reflection on Society

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Hi sir, it's Harris from the Post. Can I get you anything sir?
Candidate: How's the family Harris?
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Oh the family, well that's bad news. The screwheads finally came and took my daughter away. Let me ask you a question sir, what is this country doing for the doomed? There are two kinds of people in this country, the doomed and the screwheads. Savage tribal thugs who live off their illegal incomes, burrowed deep out there; no respect for human dignity. They don't know what you and I understand, you know what I mean.
Candidate: You ever play football, Harris?
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Yes sir, thank you sir. I played in college, and they're gonna get your daughter too sir. I've heard their rallies, they like Julie but Tricia... and they really hate you sir. You know that one and a half of the State Senate of Utah are screwheads. You know I was never really frightened by the bopheads and the potheads with their silliness never really frightened me either, but these goddam screwheads, they terrify me. And the poor doomed, the young, and the silly, the honest, the weak, the Italians ... they're doomed, they're lost, they're helpless, they're somebody else's meal, they're like pigs in the wilderness.
Candidate: Come here Harris, come here. Fuck the doomed!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Where the Buffalo Roam - The Search for Unusual Experiences

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Well I guess if I had to swear one way or another, I'd say Lazlo wasn't insane. He just had very strange rhythms. But he stomped on the terra. Lord Buckley said that. It's hard to say he got what he deserved, because he never really got anything, at least not in this story. And right now, this story is all we have ... It's sad. But what's really sad is it never got weird enough for me. I moved to the country when the boat got too crowded. Then I learned that President Nixon had been eaten by white cannibals on an island near Tijuana for no good reason at all. Golly, you hear a lot of savage and unnatural things about people these days. Lazlo and Nixon are both gone now, but I don't think I'm going to believe that til I can gnaw on their skulls with my very own teeth. Fuck those people, huh? If they're out there, I'm going to find them, and I'm going to gnaw on their skulls. Because it still hasn't gotten weird enough for me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Where the Buffalo Roam - A Reporter’s Frustration with Hotel Security

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Super Sunday. Dawn. My recollections of the last twelve hours are very dim. All that I know for certain is that shortly after I checked in, two third-world drug abusers disguised as hotel employees forced their way into my room; ransacked it, drank all my liquor, did all my drugs, stole my dinner. If the security precautions aren't beefed up at this hotel; I'm looking for safer accommodations. It's a sad state of affairs when this reporter has to go heavily armed to breakfast.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Where the Buffalo Roam - The Day He Became a Man

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: He became a man the day of the greatest game he ever played. Everything he ever knew about common decency and morality he learned that day in December from Alan "The Horse" Ameche; and today in the Superbowl he would earn his wings. The crowd had assembled; a crowd of America's elite. Toyata salesmen from all around the country—orientals and even those suspected of being orientals—stacked on the thirty yard line watching him sweat and wipe caked blood from his face. The Gallow brothers—Ernest and Julio—party guys who had skinned a few Mexicans and forced them to carry them on their shoulders down to the pre-game tailgate parties at the colosseum. The Pepsi and Coca Cola bottlers of America—Coke adds life; It's the real thing—bombarded by missiles; flying flaming matchbook covers. The waterheads from General Motors up in the top seats where they belong; getting the worst of the pollution. All sorts of weird motherfuckers were at the game.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Where the Buffalo Roam - Unique Characterization of Carl Lazlo

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: You couldn't invent someone like Carl Lazlo. He was a ... he was one of a kind. He was a mutant. A real heavyweight water buffalo type ... who could chew his way through a concrete wall and spit out the other side covered with lime and chalk and look good in doing it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Where the Buffalo Roam - The Complex Relationship with Alcohol and Violence

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: I hate to advocate alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone but they've always worked for me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Where the Buffalo Roam - Questioning Perceptions of Danger in Everyday Life

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: [Reacting to a police officer's testimony in court] You were looking for a bomb in a pack of cigarettes?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Where the Buffalo Roam - Reflections on Journalism and Unconventional Collaboration

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: I was a working journalist, a hired geek of sorts, and Lazlo was great copy and sometimes a great lawyer. It was a fast, strange time and we worked in a fast, strange ways.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Where the Buffalo Roam - Confronting Indifference with Provocative Words

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: There, chew on that gibberish for awhile, you heartless scum!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Where the Buffalo Roam - Reflections on Nixon and Society's Illusions

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: [Urging his dog to attack a [[Richard Nixon|Nixon] ] mannequin] Bronco ... Nixon.
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Where the Buffalo Roam - Calm Amidst Chaos with Raw Wisdom

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: No need to panic. I'll just lash together a few raw facts, a little bit of old Negro wisdom, and this nightmare is over.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Meatballs - Safety Warning for Campers and Hikers

Tripper Harrison: [on loudspeaker] Important announcement: some hunters have been seen in the woods near Piney Ridge Trail and the Fish and Game Commission has raised the legal kill limit on campers to three, so if you're hiking today, please wear something bright and keep low. Good luck.
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Meatballs - Camp Announcement on Activities and Health

Tripper Harrison: [on loudspeaker] Attention, campers. Arts and crafts has been canceled due to bad taste. All junior girls are now junior boys...and Nurse DeMarco says that the raccoon fever epidemic is officially over.
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Meatballs - Dividing Groups Based on Experience

Tripper Harrison: [enters the dance] Okay! Virgins on the right, non-virgins on the left. You fellas can divide them up any way you like.
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Meatballs - Teamwork and Strategy in Competition

Tripper Harrison: Guys, it’s important for us to hustle at both ends of the court. We gotta make the offense work. We gotta play that big tough D, we gotta contain their big men inside. We gotta crash the boards on offense. We can’t give them the baseline at any price. But more important than the score of this game is to score at the big social at our place tonight. So, I want you guys to go out there and protect your balls at any cost. Bruce Lee, patron of self defense, pray for us!
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Meatballs - Campers' Lights Out Announcement

Tripper Harrison: [on loudspeaker] Attention all campers! Uh, it's now 9:30 and that's lights out time; 9:30 as you know. Tomorrow is Parent's Day and you must look rested or Morty will be sent to the state penitentiary.
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Meatballs - Dinner Announcement and Contest Winner Revealed

Tripper Harrison: [on loudspeaker] Attention! Here's an update on tonight's dinner. It was veal. I repeat, veal. The winner of tonight's mystery meat contest is Jeffrey Corbin who guessed "some kind of beef." Congratulations, Jeffery. You've just won a brand new Chrysler Cordoba and you can pick it up at Morty's office.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Meatballs - Campers' Afternoon Activities Announcement

Tripper Harrison: [on loudspeaker] Attention, all campers. Afternoon swim schedule is as follows: Advanced Dolphins, report to the dock for survival swimming and IQ testing. All Senior Silverfish, meet on the beach for nude sunbathing. Junior Salmon, Trout and Herring, report to the nearest delicatessen. Six-year-old Tadpoles, report to the swamp. And all Lobsters, get outta here! You're a menace!
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Meatballs - A Humorous Welcome to a Newcomer

Tripper Harrison: [to Rudy] Hey, you must be the short, depressed kid we ordered. Glad you could make it.
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Meatballs - Tripper Harrison's Morning Camp Announcement

Tripper Harrison: [on loudspeaker; plays bagpipe music; gets out of bed; turns on the coffee and spits] Attention. Camp North Star, senior staff, counselors, counselors-in-training, please rise for our national anthem. How about that anthem, huh? Gee, I don't know about you, but I just get a great big lump in my throat every time I hear it. Well, it's, uh, seven o'five in the, uh, AM and it's, uh... Wow! Forty-three degrees on the old Camp North Star weather dial. That is kind of nippy for a June twenty-five, isn't it? Whew. I'm Tripper Harrison. AHH!! AHHHHH!!! Ahhhhh, I'm your head counselor. And this is my wake-up show. I'll be coming at you every morning, about this time, hoping to make your summer camp experience the best available... in this price range. Of course, across the lake, over at Camp Mohawk, uh, they won't be getting up for another hour or so. And when they do, they will be awakened by servants bearing croissants and café au lait. Oops, hope I didn't hit anybody. But over here, at Camp North Star this morning, we're gonna be having a delicious gruel breakfast and don't forget to ask for seconds because it's all the gruel you can eat.
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The Razor's Edge - A Search for Home and Belonging

Larry Darrell: Hey, pal, that's my coat. Don't worry, I'm leaving.
Joseph: Where are you going now, Larry?
Larry Darrell: I'm going home.
Joseph: But where is your home, Larry?
Larry Darrell: [pause] America.
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The Razor's Edge - Love, Sacrifice, and Unresolved Feelings

Larry Darrell: I broke this chair once. Because I couldn't spend the rest of my life with you.
Isabel Bradley: Sooner or later, she would have let you down. I wanted you to see that. I've never stopped thinking about you. I love you. I just wanted you to be happy. I didn't want anyone else to hurt you.
Larry Darrell: So you killed my fiancée for me?
Isabel Bradley: Just like you killed my fiancé. I was in love with Larry Darrell, but you had to take him away to go and find the meaning of your goddamned life!
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The Razor's Edge - Reflections on Friendship and Loss

Isabel Bradley: [about Elliott Templeton, who's had a stroke] I'm gonna miss him so much. I wish I'd been a better friend to him.
Larry Darrell: Like you were to Sophie?
Isabel Bradley: Is she okay?
Larry Darrell: When I came back yesterday afternoon, she'd gone.
Isabel Bradley: What happened to your face?
Larry Darrell: She's gone for good.
Isabel Bradley: [in disbelief] What?
Larry Darrell: She met up with some old friends, I guess. They got her drinking Żubrówka. One of them slit her throat and dropped her in the Seine.
Isabel Bradley: Oh, my God!
Larry Darrell: I don't give a damn if they catch who killed her. What I want to know is how you got her to take the first drink. What'd you do, get her going on Bob and the baby? Did you get her down and keep her there?
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The Razor's Edge - Ironies of Life and Relationships

Elliott Templeton: [Lying on his deathbed, after suffering a stroke] Life is full of ironies, isn't it, Darrell? You know... I spent my whole life... among the great names of Europe. Now I'm dying... And who comes to see me but... Well, I mean... An itinerant...
Larry Darrell: Fish packer?
Elliott Templeton: Fish packer.
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The Razor's Edge - Murder Investigation Reveals Disturbing Truths

French Detective: [at the morgue; Sophie's body is on a slab] We dragged her body from the river. Her throat was cut with a razor.
Larry Darrell: [in disbelief] What?
French Detective: Her throat was cut with a razor. It could have been any one of her friends. They are the vermin of the city.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Razor's Edge - Detective Encounter with Larry Darrell

French Detective: Monsieur Darrell, we are the police.
Larry Darrell: Yeah, I noticed your shoes.
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The Razor's Edge - Culinary Disgust and Snobbery Unveiled

Elliott Templeton: [Holding freshly made hot dogs at the fair] This is the singly most disgusting concoction in the culinary annals.
Louisa Bradley: That didn't stop you eating a dozen of them every 4th of July when you were a boy, Elliott.
Elliott Templeton: Well, this quaint little village may have been the place of my birth, but after 15 years in Paris, I have come to regard that as a most unfortunate accident of genetics.
Louisa Bradley: [laughing] Oh, Elliot, you are the biggest snob in the world!
Elliott Templeton: I sincerely hope so.
Larry Darrell: Nice looking dog you've got there, Unc!
Elliott Templeton: Oh, how I envy you, young man. Off to Paris, the City of Light. You know, I really ought to provide you with a few introductions. I could put you in touch with some of the most elite members of the European aristocracy while you're there.
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The Razor's Edge - Conflicting Aspirations in Relationships

Larry Darrell: I wanna put off the wedding for a while. I wanna put off the job, too. For a while, anyway.
Isabel Bradley: I don't understand. In your letter all you talked about was coming back and getting married and starting the job.
Larry Darrell: I lied. I didn't know I was lying. But I guess I was.
Isabel Bradley: I see.
Larry Darrell: I don't think I'm the guy you wanna marry right now. This isn't the old Mr. Sunshine. I'm not happy. I can't make myself happy. I couldn't make you happy. I just wanna think. I need to think. And I don't have much experience in that field.
Isabel Bradley: Think"? Think about what?
Larry Darrell: I don't know. Me, you, our lives. I'll tell you when I start thinking.
Isabel Bradley: So you want me and everyone else to just go on and on sitting here, waiting for you to figure out the meaning of life?
Larry Darrell: Well, sort of, yeah.
Isabel Bradley: Well, that's just great.
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The Razor's Edge - The Burden of Life's Debt

Larry Darrell: [after Sophie's murder] When Piedmont died, I had to pay him back for my life. I found out there's another debt to pay — for the privilege of being alive. I thought Sophie was my reward for trying to live a good life. Uh uh. There is no payoff — not now.
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The Razor's Edge - The Challenge of True Holiness

Larry Darrell: It's easy to be a holy man on top of a mountain.
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The Razor's Edge - A Moment of Reflection on Life

Larry Darrell: * To Sophie
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The Razor's Edge - The Ease of Loving Someone Special

Larry Darrell: It's very easy to love someone like you.
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The Razor's Edge - Critique of Gluttony and Disgusting Behavior

Larry Darrell: [of the man who just died saving his life] He was a slob. Did you ever see him eat? Starving children could fill their bellies on the food that ended up in his beard and on his clothes. Dogs would gather to watch him eat. I've never understood gluttony, but I hate it. I hated that about you. He enjoyed disgusting people, being disgusting, the thrill of offending people and making them uncomfortable. It was despicable. You will not be missed.
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What About Bob? - Mental Struggles and Duality of Self

Bob Wiley: [Telling another joke to the hospital staff; staff laugh] Roses are red, violets are blue; I'm a schizophrenic...and so am I.
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What About Bob? - Misinterpretation of Therapy in Humor

Bob Wiley: [Telling the hospital staff therapy jokes; The staff laugh.; The staff laugh.] So the psychiatrist has a patient. He draws a circle and says, "What do you think of when you see this?" He says "Sex." That's not the joke yet, wait a second. He draws a picture of a tree and says "What do you think of that one when you see it?" He says "Sex." All right, then he draws a picture of a car, a house: "Sex. Sex. Sex." The doctor says, "You know you're obsessed with sex." And the patient says "Well you're the one drawing all the dirty pictures.
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What About Bob? - Desire for Release and Acceptance

Bob Wiley: Hello, my name is Bob. Would you knock me out, please?
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Stripes - Lost in Austria's Confusion

John Winger: [at Czech border crossing, holding map pretending to be lost tourist, talking to Czech soldiers] We're so goddamn lost. Where the hell is Innsbruck, Austria?
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Stripes - Embracing American Identity and Soldierhood

John Winger: [breaking up a fight; [Old Yeller; raises his hand; hands are reluctantly raised; even more hands go up] Cut it out! Cut it out! Cut it out! The hell's the matter with you?! Stupid! We're all very different people. We're not Watusi. We're not Spartans. We're Americans, with a capital A', huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We're the underdog. We're mutts! Here's proof: his nose is cold! But there's no animal that's more faithful, that's more loyal, more loveable than the mutt. Who saw ]? Who cried when Old Yeller got shot at the end? Nobody cried when Old Yeller got shot? I'm sure. I cried my eyes out. So we're all dogfaces. We're all very, very different, but there is one thing that we all have in common: we were all stupid enough to enlist in the Army. We're mutants. There's something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us. Something seriously wrong with us! We're soldiers, but we're American soldiers! We've been kickin ass for 200 years! We're 10 and 1! Now we don't have to worry about whether or not we practiced. We don't have to worry about whether Captain Stillman wants to have us hung. All we have to do is to be the great American fighting soldier that is inside each one of us. Now do what I do, and say what I say. And make me proud. Fall in!
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Dumb and Dumber To - Harry's New Roommate Revealed

Lloyd: [Lloyd notices Harry has a meth dealer in their apartment] Who's the astronaut?
Harry: Oh that's my new room-mate.
Lloyd: [shocked and slightly disappointed] Roommate? You have a new roommate?
Harry: Well you know I had to get someone to pay your half of the rent while you were in hospital. How's it going, Ice Pick?
Ice Pick: Best day ever. Greatest day of my life, really.
Harry: Pick cooks up a rock candy that will make you dizzy. Folks come from all over the city to buy them.
Lloyd: It's burning my eyes! Must be Cajun style!
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Tootsie - Questioning Motivations Behind a Compromise

Jeff Slater: Mike, I really appreciate you're doing this, but... it is just for the money, isn't it? It's not just so you can wear these little outfits?
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Wild Things - Tension Escalates Among Characters in Courtroom

Kenneth Bowden: [Passing Sandra Van Ryan's limo and honking the horn] Hey, look who we've got here. Hey, Sandra!
Sandra Van Ryan: I want you to nail that shyster's balls to the wall!
Tom Baxter: Well, that might have been possible if miss not-so-bright here hadn't started throwing things in court.
Kelly Van Ryan: Fuck off!
Sandra Van Ryan: I can't believe you're going to let them, get away with this... shit!
Tom Baxter: I don't think you understand, Sandy. Your little princess here committed perjury. It will be all I can do to keep her fucking little ass out of jail.
Sandra Van Ryan: Well... what are we going to do?
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Wild Things - An Unexpected Encounter with an Insurance Agent

Sam: [Bwoden is wearing a neck brace] What do you do to your neck?
Kenneth Bowden: [looks out the window and takes it off] Oh, this? I don't have to wear it all the time. There was an insurance guy around here earlier.
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Wild Things - Accusations and Connections Unraveled

Sam: I was, until yesterday, a guidance counselor at Blue Bay High School. A student there is accusing me of rape.
Kenneth Bowden: Male or female?
Sam: The student is Kelly Van Ryan.
Kenneth Bowden: As in Sandra Van Ryan?
Sam: As in I'm fucked.
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Ghostbusters: Afterlife - Confronting Gozer with Authority and Humor

Man: [offscreen] Hey, flat-top!
Peter Venkman: Have you missed us?
Ray: Gozer the Gozerian! In the name of the county of Summerville, state of Oklahoma, the US Fish and Wildlife Service, all the members of Ducks Unlimited, the Association for the Advancement of Retired Persons. I command you under the National Invasive Species Act to depart this world immediately.
Peter: Bravo.
Winston Zeddemore: I think she remembers us.
Gozer: Are you... a god?
Winston: Ray?
Peter: Oh, come on, Ray!
Ray: ...Yes.
Winston: Yeah, we're all gods.
Peter: [[Ghostbusters|I thought that we had busted up for good] Yeah, I mean, we're all pretty dang special out here. On a personal note, ]. I mean, it wasn't working for me. My friends didn't think so, I know yours didn't.
Winston: Okay, playtime's over. Let's toast this muffin.
Peter: [laughs as they energize their proton packs] Light em up!
Winston: Man, I love that sound!
Peter: On the count of three. Go on two. One, two!
Ray: Yeah, nothing stings like a billion electron-volts!
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Ed Wood - Vacation Plans and Beach Dreams

Bunny Breckinridge: Guess where I'm going next week.
Ed Wood: I don't know. Where?
Bunny: Me-hee-co. Guess what I'm doing when I get there.
Ed: I don't know — lie on a beach.
Bunny: Wrong. I'm getting my first series of hormone injections. And when those girls kick in, they're gonna take out my organs and make me... a woman.
Ed: Are you serious?
Bunny: It's something I've wanted to do for a long time. But it wasn't until I saw your movie that I realized I have to take action! Goodbye, penis!
Dolores Fuller: Would you please keep it down?
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Confrontation and Frustration from Steve Zissou

Steve Zissou: I'm about to blow my stack. I turn my back, and the bullshit begins. Ned, you're a scumbag. And, Jane, you're a goddamn liar.
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Desperate Measures for the Fishing Boat

Steve Zissou: Wolodarsky, go get the keys to that fishing boat, and throw them in the water. No, wait. They might have another set. Just blow it up.
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Facing Harsh Realities of Life

Steve Zissou: We'll give them the reality this time. A washed-up old man with no friends, no distribution deal, wife on the rocks, people laughin at him, feelin sorry for himself.
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Nostalgia for a Lost Bartender's Craft

Steve Zissou: What a shame. They had a bartender here, Kino, made the best rum cannonball I've ever tasted.
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Steve Zissou's Concern About Swamp Leeches

Steve Zissou: Oh, shit! Swamp leeches. Everybody, check for swamp leeches, and pull them off... Nobody else got hit? I'm the only one? What's the deal?
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - A Last Adventure Reflection

Steve Zissou: It's probably the last adventure I've got in me. I was hopin to go out in a flash of blazes, but I'll probably just end up goin home.
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Struggling with Fatherhood and Biological Connections

Steve Zissou: I mean, I know I want him to think of me like a father. But the fact that there's an outside chance that he could really be my actual... biological son... is very difficult for me.
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Captain's Struggle with Team Morale

Steve Zissou: The first thing that goes through a captain's head when he hears there's low morale goin around is: "What'd I do? Is it all my fault? "Well, he's probably right. Most of us have been together a long time. There are others that were here before that. Do you all not like me anymore? I mean, what am I supposed to do? I don't know. Look, if you're not against me... don't cross this line. If yes, do. I love you all.
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Covering Up Operation Henessey

Steve Zissou: Go downstairs and throw a tarp over anything that says "Operation Henessey" on it.
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Frustration with Incompetence and Neglect

Steve Zissou: Those fucking amateurs. You left your dog, you idiots!
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Observation of Nature's Upside-Down Wonders

Steve Zissou: The Arctic Night-lights. Yeah. "As if the natural world's been turned upside down." Lord Mandrake. Vikram, get some cutaways of this miracle. Klaus, Ogata, put out the deck fires before we sink.
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Critique of Corporate Loyalty and Risk

Steve Zissou: I've never seen a bond company stooge stick his neck out like that.
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - A Command to Leave the Boat

Steve Zissou: I said get your ass the hell off of my boat!
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Balancing Perspectives in Challenging Situations

Steve Zissou: Be cool on this shit, okay, cubbie? I mean, at least try to show both sides.
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Warning of Consequences on the Boat

Steve Zissou: Tell them if they don't get off my boat right now... there's gonna be a major shit-storm.
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Protecting the Unpaid Intern

Steve Zissou: Don't point that gun at him, he's an unpaid intern.
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Consequences of Inaction and Responsibility

Steve Zissou: You hung us out to dry. If we don't handle this right, we're gonna all get murdered. Including her unborn British child.
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Pragmatic Advice on Self-Preservation

Steve Zissou: Just do what you gotta do to cover your ass, Bill.
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Unexpected Family Connections in Life Aquatic

Steve Zissou: Oseary, this is probably my son Ned. We just met.
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Searching for Purpose in the Journey

Steve Zissou: Are you finding what you were looking for... out here with me? I hope so.
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Manipulation and Deception in Relationships

Steve Zissou: That pregnant slut is playing us like a cheap fiddle!
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Jealousy and Perception in Relationships

Steve Zissou: [[queer] You know, I'd be jealous about you staying at Ali's place, except I always thought he was kind of a closet ].
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