Bing Crosby Quotes

The Bells of St. Mary's

Importance of Optimism in Recovery

Father Chuck O'Malley Does she know about this.

Dr. McKay Oh, not yet. It's very important that she doesn't know it. She has a wonderful vitality, a natural optimism, and that's the best medicine anyone can have. If that spirit is dampened, it would... it would have a depressing effect and delay her recovery.

Father Chuck O'Malley She'll have to know about it. We... we can't just send her away without...

Dr. McKay Don't you people, uh, more or less, uh, go where you're told without question?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Road to Morocco

Confusion Over a Kangaroo Encounter

Jeff Peters What are you yelling about? It's only a kangaroo!

[Turkey Jackson is frightened when a camel sneaks up behind them]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Road to Morocco

A Conversation About Payment and Risks

Turkey Jackson How do you figure on paying for all this?

Jeff Peters What are you, scared? You got red blood, ain't you?

Turkey Jackson Yeah, but I don't want to get it all over strangers.

Jeff Peters Go ahead, eat up, eat up son. I'll think of something.

Turkey Jackson These guys don't monkey around, they got knives, they're liable to try and get the food back the hard way.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Holiday Inn

Nostalgic Reflection on a Past Love

Jim Hardy She was sort of a medium built, medium height. With a nice evening gown on with a belt in the back. She's sorta built like the girl I knew from the corner drugstore who used to play pinball. Conshwella Schlepkiss. I remember she was high man three weeks in a row.

[trying to describe Linda]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Road to Hong Kong

Misadventures in Medical Assistance

Harry Turner Don't I always get you the best medical attention available?

Chester Babcock Yeah, like that doctor you got me in Bombay last month.

Harry Turner How was I going to know he was an elephant doctor?

Chester Babcock You should have known by the size of his thermometer.

Harry Turner Yes, was a bit large.

Chester Babcock When he shook it, I was still on it.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Road to Hong Kong

Business Before Pleasure in Conversation

Diane Are you sure you're not pulling my leg?

Harry Turner Business first, fun and games later, mm?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Road to Rio

A Humorous Exchange on Cowardice

Scat Sweeney Are you admitting you're a dirty coward?

Hot Lips Barton No, a clean one!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Holiday Inn

Misguided Pursuits and Financial Realities

Jim Hardy Lila's back in New York. I got a letter from her yesterday.

Ted Hanover What happened to her millionaire?

Jim Hardy Slight mistake there. He didn't own millions, he owed them.

Ted Hanover Poor girl. Always straying to greener pastures and finding spinach.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Holiday Inn

Nostalgic Dream of a White Christmas

Jim Hardy I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, Just like the ones I used to know.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Road to Utopia

Questioning Life and Death Perceptions

Chester Hooton Am I dead?

Duke Johnson I can't tell, you always look that way.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Road to Bali

Road to Bali - Dialogue 4

George Cochran What's that?

Harold Gridley Oh, that's ]. He can't stand it.

[[Errol Flynn]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Holiday Inn

Friendship and Farewells at Holiday Inn

Ted Hanover I like it here... with you and Linda.

Jim Hardy And we love having you. When are you leaving?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Road to Morocco

Unexpected Transaction in Morocco

Turkey Jackson How'd you get the spinach, old boy?

Jeff Peters Funny thing, a guy I've never seen before in my life gives me 2,500 Kolacs... . that's 200 federal diplomas, are you listening?

Turkey Jackson 200 skins? Why, what for?

Jeff Peters I sold him something.

Turkey Jackson Well you've got nothing to sell! We've already hocked your pivot tooth.

Jeff Peters It wasn't much, but it was all I had, and was he anxious to get it!

Turkey Jackson What did you sell him?

Jeff Peters Look, uh, Orville, I want you to keep very calm now. Don't get excited.

Turkey Jackson What did you sell him?

[grabbing Jeff, nervous]

Jeff Peters You.

Turkey Jackson Oh, well, for a minute I - HUH? Me? Wait a minute, get that guy and give him those fish back! What's the matter with you, you can't sell me, I'm not a horse! It's just the way I comb my hair!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Road to Morocco

Despair and Frustration in the Desert

Turkey Jackson I can't go on! No food, no water. It's all my fault. We're done for! It's got me. I can't stand it! No food, nothing! No food, no water! No food!

Jeff Peters What's the matter with you, anyway? There's New York. We'll be picked up in a few minutes.

Turkey Jackson You had to open your big mouth and ruin the only good scene I got in the picture. I might have won the ]!

[[w:Academy Award|Academy Award]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Country Girl

Exploring Relationships and Personal Dynamics in Performance

Bernie Dodd Does your wife really want you to play this part?

Frank Elgin Yeah, she's all for it.

Bernie Dodd I was just wondering. The day I met her, she seemed a little difficult about terms and rather domineering, I thought.

Frank Elgin She wasn't always like that.

Bernie Dodd Oh I know, I know. They all start out as ]s and wind up as ]s.

[[w:Juliet|Juliet; [w:Lady Macbeth|Lady Macbeth]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Road to Bali

Road to Bali - Dialogue 7

Princess Lala She was my mother, Queen Tama of Vaatu.

[showing a portrait of a woman in regal dress]

George Cochran Hm, beautiful.

Princess Lala And he was my father.

[indicating the portrait next to it of a man in a kilt]

George Cochran Didn't anybody in the family wear the pants?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Road to Hong Kong

Understanding Relationships and Perceptions of Age

Harry Turner An hour ago she flipped over me. I don't dig it.

Chester Babcock Well, that's understandable. An impressionable young thing falls for an elderly fellow. She probably thought you were a father figure.

Harry Turner Father figure?

Chester Babcock Yes, then she took another look and found out you had your father's figure.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Holiday Inn

A Cold Night Without a Coat

Linda Mason You better go inside, it's cold and you don't have a coat... Go on.

[gently pushes him]

Jim Hardy Well I don't need a coat anymore.

[kisses her, moves back]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Road to Hong Kong

Skepticism about Danger in Friendship

Harry Turner Chester, I give you my solemn word. This time it's not dangerous.

Chester Babcock Not dangerous?

Harry Turner No.

Chester Babcock That's what cha said when you shot me out of a cannon, when you dropped me in a tank with an octopus, when you had me wrestle a gorilla. It's not dangerous! I'm not going'. I'm through. I've had it. So forget it, Charlie!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Road to Hong Kong

Dividing Time Among Friends

Diane There must be some sensible solution to this problem.

Harry Turner Well, of course there is. Two fellas, one girl. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, you come to my house.

Chester Babcock Yeah. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, my house.

Diane What about Sunday?

Chester Babcock Everybody rests.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Going My Way

Misunderstandings in Parish Care Advice

Father Fitzgibbons Well, did you make your parish calls?

Father Chuck O'Malley Oh, yes. Mrs. McGonigle's rheumatism is kicking up again. I told her to bury a potato in the back yard.

Father Fitzgibbons That's for warts.

Father Chuck O'Malley That's what she said.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Country Girl

Home Troubles and Denial

Bernie Dodd Frank? Having trouble at home?

Frank Elgin No, nothing like that. What's the matter? Don't you believe me?

Bernie Dodd Everyone has trouble at home. The only ones who deny it are those that have too much of it.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Road to Utopia

The Value of Experience in Learning

Duke Johnson Experience is the best teacher.

Chester Hooton Oh, experience is the best teacher, huh?

Duke Johnson Naturally, and I'm a Ph.D.

Chester Hooton Yeah, a pin-headed dope.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Bells of St. Mary's

Unexpected Presence in the Classroom

Father Chuck O'Malley Luther? How'd he get in here?

Sister Mary Benedict We never knew.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Road to Morocco

Becoming an American Idiot

Jeff Peters Turkey, from now on you're sacred.

Turkey Jackson What do you mean, sacred?

Jeff Peters You just became a full-blooded American idiot.

Turkey Jackson No, you do it! Who's gonna believe I'm an idiot?

Jeff Peters Will you look at the head start you got?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Holiday Inn

Defining Success Through Family and Happiness

Linda Mason My father was a lot like you, just a man with a family. Never amounted to much, didn't care. But as long as he was alive, we always had plenty to eat and clothes to keep us warm.

Jim Hardy Were you happy?

Linda Mason Yes.

Jim Hardy Then your father was a very successful man.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Road to Bali

Curiosity and Humor About Local Culture

George Cochran I wonder what the locals are like?

Princess Lala I hope they're not cannibals or headhunters!

Harold Gridley I hope they're orange pickers, I want to get out of this tree!

George Cochran Oh, stop squawking, you'll fall off when you're ripe!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Road to Hong Kong

A Will's Exclusion Sparks Unequal Cheer

Harry Turner Happy landings, buster!

Chester Babcock I don't know what you're so happy about. You're not mentioned in my will.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Road to Zanzibar

Desire for Money Over Political Influence

Chuck Reardon Everybody knows him. He's a philanthropist.

Hubert Fearless Frazier I don't care who he votes for. I want my money.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Country Girl

Struggles of Everyday Life and Hope

Frank Elgin I faced a crisis up there in Boston, and I got away with it. Just about anybody can face a crisis. It's that everyday living that's rough. I'm not sure I can lick it, but I think I got a chance.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Road to Hong Kong

Caution Against Misunderstanding Intelligence

Harry Turner You got a mind like a sponge.

Chester Babcock Yeah, don't get any ideas about squeezing it, either.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Going My Way

Conflict Over Church's Future and Legacy

Ted Haines Jr. He wants to tear down the church and make a parking lot out of it. Can you imagine it? He's a very disliked man. I'm sort of following in his footsteps.

Father Chuck O'Malley Junior, hmm?

Ted Haines Jr. Yeah.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Country Girl

Selling Philosophy as a Sunshine Salesman

Frank Elgin Instead of selling a patent of medicine or something like that, I was selling a philosophy. You know, a sort of a sunshine salesman.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Road to Morocco

Debate on Life and Death Perspectives

Turkey Jackson I hope she didn't hear that. The dead have a way of coming back you know.

Jeff Peters Get out, when they're dead they're dead.

Turkey Jackson Not Aunt Lucy, she was a Republican.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Going My Way

Advice on Discretion and Conduct

Father Chuck O'Malley Keep your head down now, father. And watch your language.

[to Father Fitzgibbons as he goes to chip a golf shot out of a sand trap]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Road to Utopia

Cold Comparisons Between Ice Types

Chester Hooton Everything is cold! My nose is an iceberg.

Duke Johnson Iceberg? That's a glacier.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Road to Utopia

Reflections on Fear and Self-Perception

Duke Johnson Can't you suppress it somehow?

Chester Hooton Frighten me.

Duke Johnson I can't, I haven't got a mirror.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Road to Morocco

Aunt Lucy's Last Wish

Turkey Jackson Aunt Lucy. I can see her now, lying on her dying bed, looking at you with those big, trusting eyes. Before I go, Jeff, promise me one thing, she said. Promise me you'll always be a friend to little Orville, she said. No matter what happens, you'll never leave the little jerk, she said. Promise me, Jeff, promise me, she said.

Jeff Peters Yeah, then she up and died before I had the chance to say no.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Going My Way

A Lighthearted Exchange on Pilot Lights

Father Chuck O'Malley Here, take this. That'll keep the pilot light burning.

[Gives a spoonful of medicine to Father Fitzgibbon]

Father Fitzgibbons Yes, it ought to. Tastes like it has kerosene in it.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Road to Hong Kong

Uncertainty and Action Amidst the Unknown

Harry Turner Who's that?

[hands Chester a hand mirror]

Chester Babcock I don't know, but gimme a stick and I'll kill it.

[seeing his reflection]

Going My Way

Discussion of Ted's Injury and Recognition

Father Chuck O'Malley Poor young Ted has been wounded in Africa.

Father Fitzgibbons Ah, too bad.

Father Chuck O'Malley They're shipping him home.

Father Fitzgibbons Fine, upstanding young fellow. Maybe they'll decorate him.

Father Chuck O'Malley Nnnno, I doubt it. Some friend of his ran over him in a jeep.

Road to Morocco

Misunderstandings Amidst Desert Adventures

Turkey Jackson A fine thing. First, you sell me for two hundred bucks. Then I'm gonna marry the Princess; then you cut in on me. Then we're carried off by a desert sheik. Now, we're gonna have our heads chopped off.

Jeff Peters I know all that.

Turkey Jackson Yeah, but the people who came in the middle of the picture don't.

Jeff Peters You mean they missed my song?

Road to Zanzibar

Decision to Join the Journey

Hubert Fearless Frazier We're going with them...

[as they are about to leave with the villain]

Chuck Reardon We're going with them...

Hubert Fearless Frazier, Chuck Reardon We're going with them.

Hubert Fearless Frazier, Chuck Reardon Patty-cake, patty-cake, baker's man. Bake a cake as fast as you...

[starting the routine]

Hubert Fearless Frazier He must've seen the picture!

Road to Morocco

A Search for Orville's Location

Jeff Peters Orville, where are you?

Turkey Jackson Right over here, behind these goosepimples.

Holiday Inn

Counting Days Until the Next Holiday

Ted Hanover Come out and relax on a farm, music, dancing, home cooking. Open holidays only. Open holiday's only? Say, how many of them are there?

[reading; skeptical]

Jim Hardy About 15. That gives me 350 days to kick around in!

[excited]

Ted Hanover You would think of that!

[laughing]

Road to Rio

Confusion Between Baby and Bogie

Scat Sweeney Baby?!

Hot Lips Barton Baby? Seems more like Bogie!

Road to Morocco

Desert Sheik's Proposal to Princess Shalmar

Jeff Peters Say fuzzy, who is that headstrong impetuous boy?

Bystander He is Mullay Kasim, the Desert Sheik.

Turkey Jackson What'd he come to town for, a manicure?

Bystander Oh, he loves the Princess Shalmar of Karameesh. He has come here to ask her to marry him.

Jeff Peters I'd hate to be around when he comes for a divorce!

Going My Way

The Importance of Community Support in Church

Father Chuck O'Malley Mr. Haines is going to give us a mortgage to take care of the difference.

Ted Haines Sr. That's right, father. He convinced me I have a heart. And, after all, it wouldn't be a church without a mortgage.

Father Fitzgibbons That's right. That's right.

Road to Utopia

Cold Cards and Unexpected Destinations

Duke Johnson Chester, you'd better face it - the cards say "Alaska!

Chester Hooton No wonder - it's a cold deck!

Road to Bali

Gossip Among Friends in Bali

Harold Gridley Say, Haggis!

George Cochran What is it, MacBaggis?

Harold Gridley Have you heard the latest about MacTavish?

George Cochran What's he done now?

Harold Gridley I heard he's living on the roof!

George Cochran Why would he be living on the roof?

Harold Gridley Because he heard someone say, "Drinks are on the house!

Road to Bali

Navigating Complications in Relationships

Harold Gridley Hey! What are you gonna do with TWO girls?

George Cochran That's...um...MY problem....

Road to Morocco

A Disagreement on Storming the Place

Jeff Peters We must storm the place.

Turkey Jackson You storm. I'll stay here and drizzle.

Road to Bali

Cultural Dress and Assumptions in Bali

Harold Gridley Is that the way all the natives dress on your island?

Male Native Nods

Harold Gridley Really? George, do you suppose...

George Cochran Not a chance.

Harold Gridley Stick around folks, he could be wrong you know.

The Road to Hong Kong

Assessing the Threat of Unfriendly Killers

Harry Turner Those guys mean business. They're killers, murders.

Chester Babcock Besides that, they're unfriendly.

Road to Rio

A Playful Exchange of Insults

Scat Sweeney Swine!

Hot Lips Barton Pig!

Scat Sweeney That's the same as swine.

Hot Lips Barton All right. Ham!

Memorable Quotes from Bing Crosby