Bruce WillisQuotes

Butch Coolidge: [Driving back to his apartment to retrieve his father’s gold watch] Shit! Of all the fucking things she could fucking forget, she forgets my father’s watch! I specifically reminded her; bedside table. On the kangaroo. I said the words “don’t forget my father’s watch”.

Peter Fallow: Was it true that Aaron Lamb was an honor student at Riddell High School?

Teacher: Mr. Fallow, the standards of our school are much different than other schools. We are just focused on packing in the kids from Bronx and Harlem and keeping them off the streets. At Riddell High, an honor student is anyone who comes to class and does not piss on the teacher.

Peter Fallow: So what about Aaron Lamb?

Teacher: Well, I saw him in class a couple of times, and he never tried to urinate on me...so he qualifies as a honor student in our book.

Peter Fallow: [narrating] Yes see, Sherman, who started with so much, lost everything. But he gained his soul. Whereas I, you see, who started with so little, gained everything. "What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world, but loses..." Ah well. There are compensations.

Peter Fallow: [narrating] It was all over. There was no hope now. The darkness closed in around them. And then I noticed the most peculiar thing. Sherman was smiling.

Peter Fallow: [narrating] Our hero, Sherman McCoy, was about to make a simple phone call. But despite the existence of 11 telephones, and 7 different lines, in 14 rooms of his 16-million-plus dollar apartment, this was a phone call he could not make at home.

Peter Fallow: [Narrating] A $600 million bond, to which he stood to get $1.8 million on commission, which would retire the mortgage on his Park Avenue co-op. For Sherman McCoy, that was all in a day's work.

Peter Fallow: If you're going to live in a whorehouse, there's only one thing you can do: be the best damn whore around.

David Bedford: Walter, I am not worth it...

Walter Davis: SHUT UP! DANCE!

David Bedford: What?

Walter Davis: I SAID DANCE, SCUMBAG!

Walter Davis: MOONWALK!

Walter Davis: I HATE THAT SHIT!

Nadia Gates: Walter if you will just drop me off at a hotel...

Walter Davis: [cuts off Nadia] What? and bring an end to this glorious evening?

Harry Gruen: Do I have to say the words, Walter?

Walter Davis: I am fired?

Harry Gruen: I only wish this was the army. So that I could have you shot... Twice!

Nadia Gates: [inspects painting] Oh! This looks Japanese. "Master and Concubines"?

Walter Davis: It's Yakamoto!

Nadia Gates: What is?

Walter Davis: No, no, the reason for this big business dinner tonight is this Japanese industrialist new client of ours. He's old world Japanese and he's got a wife that's more like a slave and he keeps concubines!

Nadia Gates: You gotta be kidding me.

Walter Davis: No, no, his wife knows all about it. It's "traditional" or something.

Nadia Gates: [chuckles] Tell me something, Walter: Are you into those kind of "traditions"?

Walter Davis: No, I'm actually a one-concubine kind of guy.

Joe Hallenbeck: Do dead guys make bad jokes?

Jimmy Dix: No.

Joe Hallenbeck: Then we're alive.

Jimmy Dix: Okay, you pull up and I yell at them.

Joe Hallenbeck: What?!

Jimmy Dix: Pull up next to them, I'll roll my window down and yell at them!

Joe Hallenbeck: That's the lamest fucking plan I ever heard!

Jimmy Dix: Can we try it?!

Joe Hallenbeck: It's bulletproof glass, they're not gonna hear you, you moron!

Joe Hallenbeck: Now what are you doing?

Jimmy Dix: I'm drawing them a picture.

Joe Hallenbeck: What is that?

Jimmy Dix: It's a bomb.

Joe Hallenbeck: It doesn't look like a bomb, it looks like an apple with lines coming out of it! They're gonna say, "don't open the briefcase, it's full of fresh fruit"!

Jimmy Dix: You wanna draw the damn thing?

Jimmy Dix: [shows Hallenbeck the drawing] Happy?

Joe Hallenbeck: Are you kidding me?

Jimmy Dix: Always criticizing my shit. I can't do nothing right.

Jimmy Dix: Oh, shit!

Joe Hallenbeck: I forgot to tell you. "Bom" means "fuck you" in Polish.

Jimmy Dix: Hey, that's not funny, man! I almost bought it there!

Joe Hallenbeck: Tragic loss to the art world, let me tell ya.

Jimmy Dix: Hey, man. You ever play ball? You've got a good build.

Joe Hallenbeck: What are you, a fag?

Jimmy Dix: No, I'm just trying to break the ice.

Joe Hallenbeck: I like ice. Leave it the fuck alone.

Jimmy Dix: Oh, you're a lot of fun to be with.

Joe Hallenbeck: Hey flash, rescue attempt?

Jimmy Dix: Blow me.

Milo: You must be James.

Jimmy Dix: [sarcastically] James?

Joe Hallenbeck: He does that with everybody. He calls me Joseph.

Milo: I trust you're alone.

Jimmy Dix: No, I got the fuckin Vienna Boys Choir with me. What, is everybody stupid around here?

Joe Hallenbeck: Just you, kid.

Jimmy Dix: I use that shit to get by.

Joe Hallenbeck: I don't use it; I get by. Get dressed and get out.

Jimmy Dix: [As he is putting on his clothes; [w:Spread_betting|spread] Oh, right, I forgot: talkin to "Dudley" fuckin "Do-Right"! Shit happens real easy, man. It starts out... painkillers. Usin Demerol because your fuckin KNEES are shot! Fore you know it, you're chewin'... codeine with your pancakes. And then a truck comes out of nowhere, and you're talkin to God. And you're sayin "Hey... help me out, Big Guy. I pay taxes. I go to church. What's with this "dead WIFE AND KID" SHIT?! But He ain't answerin'. He ain't takin no calls that day. Instead I get a call from the fuckin League, and they're sayin "Hey, kid, your career's over." I say "Why?" Because I gambled. WHY is there a fuckin INJURY REPORT in pro football, huh?! Nobody else has one: pro football does! You know why? It's so the GAMBLERS will have a fuckin accurate ]! It's all business now! They PUSH you until you blow your fuckin BRAINS out, just like Billy Cole did! Can't you see those FUCKIN HYPOCRITES TOOK AWAY MY FUCKIN LIFE?!!

Joe Hallenbeck: [in a pensive tone] When you're done feelin sorry for yourself, the front door's that way.

Jimmy Dix: You bastard...

Joe Hallenbeck: [as Jimmy leaves] And then some.

Jimmy Dix: It ain't right.

Joe Hallenbeck: [sighs] No, it ain't right.

Joe Hallenbeck: This ain't no game, flash. Real guns, real bullets. It's dangerous.

Jimmy Dix: Danger's my middle name.

Joe Hallenbeck: Mine's Cornelius. You tell anybody, I'll kill you.

Jimmy Dix: You ever watch "Soul Train"?

Joe Hallenbeck: Shut the fuck up.

Jimmy Dix: Man, you couldn't protect a cup of warm piss.

Joe Hallenbeck: Why don't you just go ahead and hit me?

Jimmy Dix: Excuse me?

Joe Hallenbeck: Come on, chicken shit. Bust me in the chops. You don't think an old guy like me could hurt ya, do ya Jimmy?

Jimmy Dix: So now you know my name?

Joe Hallenbeck: James Alexander Dix. Quarterback for the L.A. Stallions, 89-'90. Banned from the league on gambling charges, allegations of drug abuse. Another tragic tale of wasted youth.

Jimmy Dix: [stands up from his chair] Now you're starting to piss me off.

Joe Hallenbeck: It's about fuckin time. I'm Joe Hallenbeck.

Joe Hallenbeck: [Joe reaches out his hand, Jimmy slaps it] I'm a private detective.

Jimmy Dix: You're like a fuckin lowlife to me.

Joe Hallenbeck: At least I didn't shit my talent away on coke.

Joe Hallenbeck: [noticing his spilled whiskey] I spilled my warm cup of piss.

Milo: Can we get a formal introduction?

Joe Hallenbeck: Who gives a fuck? You're the bad guy, right?

Milo: I am the bad guy.

Joe Hallenbeck: And I'm supposed to be trembling with fear, something like that?

Milo: Something like that.

Joe Hallenbeck: Fine, I'll start trembling in a minute. In the meantime, you think I could have a drink?

Alley Thug: All right, you want it in the chest, or the head?

Joe Hallenbeck: Yeah, that's what your wife said.

Alley Thug: Hey, would you stop with the wife shit?

Joe Hallenbeck: Ask me how fat she is.

Alley Thug: Fuck you, man! How fat is she?

Joe Hallenbeck: She's so fat I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot. Motherfucker, if you wanna fuck her you gotta slap her thigh and ride the wave in. Now I'm not saying she's fat, her high school picture was an aerial photograph.

Joe Hallenbeck: I'm asshole. He's fuckface.

Joe Hallenbeck: I believe in love, I believe in cancer.

Jimmy Dix: What, they're both diseases?

Joe Hallenbeck: Yea, something like that.

Jimmy Dix: I want to meet the bitch that fucked you up.

Mike Mathews: It just happened, Joe. It...

Joe Hallenbeck: Sure, sure, I know... it just happened. Coulda happened to anybody. It was an accident, right? You tripped, slipped on the floor and accidentally stuck your dick in my wife. "Whoops! I'm so sorry, Mrs. H. I guess this just isn't my week.

Joe Hallenbeck: The truth is a beautiful thing.

Joe Hallenbeck: Nobody likes you. Everybody hates you. You’re gonna lose. Smile, you fuck!

Joe Hallenbeck: Hey Milo, where you callin from? The bottom of the pool?

Joe Hallenbeck: [giving Jimmy a briefcase full of $6 million] Go buy yourself a new pair of pants.

Joe Hallenbeck: I swear to Christ that if I survive this fucking case I'm gonna dance a jig.

Joe Hallenbeck: This is the 90s. You don't just go around punching people. You have to say something cool first

Joe Hallenbeck: Water is wet, the sky is blue, women have secrets ... who gives a fuck?

Ricky Delacruz: [after Bobby danced with Francesca] Hey, you light on your feet, Funke. That's good.

Bobby Funke: Thanks.

Ricky Delacruz: But we notice you having a problem out there.

Bobby Funke: I do? What?

Ricky Delacruz: It's your hard-on.

Alex Schneider: Yeah, that close to a girl like her, it's natural.

Bobby Funke: I didn't realize it was so obvious.

Ricky Delacruz: What you're gonna wanna do, okay, is you tuck that thing into the side of your boxer shorts, so it runs down the leg. That way you can contain it. It's like getting a stiff rod when you're taking a dump.

Alex Schneider: A shit boner.

Ricky Delacruz: Yeah. Then you got to jam it into the bowl like it owes you money. But you don't want to dunk it. It's not a clown. Down!

Alex Schneider: But you also don't want to get the peepee on your shirt.

Principal Jared T. Kirkpatrick: It's a no-win situation. At ease, gentlemen. Erections or otherwise.

Principal Jared T. Kirkpatrick: I assume you all know why you're here.

Samantha "Sam" Landis: Let me guess. You finally want to start that boy band you've been dreaming about.

Principal Jared T. Kirkpatrick: Landis, do I come down to the strip club where you work and knock the dick out of your mouth? Against the wall. You're late.

Principal Jared T. Kirkpatrick: [to Bobby Funke] You seem to be a little foggy as to why I'm here, Mr. Funke. From what I understand, you've made a mockery of this entire high school. You seem to think that this is some kind of circus and that I am some kind of clown. I'm not an effing clown. And I'm not here to bring joy and love and light and laughter into your effing heart! Now I'm going to ask you one more time. And this time I expect an answer. Is...that...gum...in your mouth?

Principal Jared T. Kirkpatrick: [to a security guard; to a student; to a female student; to the security guard] Alright, Mitch, we're looking for weapons, obviously, anything that can kill a student. Knives, guns. But it's not always obvious. Are you kidding me? You know the rule about gum! Raise your arms, please. With the women, you want to use the backs of the hands. The backs of the hands, Mitch. Last rule. Most important rule. You're gonna wanna fuck them. Do not fuck the students, do you understand?

Sam: I admit we knew we'd get in trouble. That part's true. We knew people would be worried, and we still ran away, anyway. But something also happened, which we didn't do on purpose. When we first met each other, something happened to us.

Captain Sharp: [offering him beer] That's very eloquent. I can't argue against anything you're saying. But then again, I don't have to, cause you're 12 years old. Look, let's face it, you're probably a much more intelligent person than I am. In fact, I guarantee it. But even smart kids stick their finger in electrical sockets sometimes. It takes time to figure things out. It's been proven by history. All mankind makes mistakes. It's our job to try to protect you from making the dangerous ones, if we can. We want a slug?

Captain Sharp: What's your rush? You've got your whole life in front of yourself. Ahead of you, I mean.

Sam: Maybe so. Anyway, you're a bachelor.

Captain Sharp: So are you.

Sam: That's true. Did you love someone ever?

Captain Sharp: Yes, I did.

Sam: What happened?

Captain Sharp: She didn't love me back.

Sam: Ah.

Captain Sharp: I'm sorry for your loss. Anyway, that's what you're supposed to say.

Captain Sharp: It's been proven by history: all mankind makes mistakes.

Slevin: How did you find out about us?

Mr. Goodkat: I'm a world-class assassin, fuckhead. How do you think I found out?

Nick: Fuck. Shit. Jesus.

Mr. Goodkat: Fuck, Shit, Jesus is right.

Mr. Goodkat: Because it seems to me that your son is worth more to you alive than he is to the Boss dead. And more money is worth more to me than less money.

Mr. Goodkat: Sorry about that, son. But sometimes there's more to life than just livin'. Besides, you can't have a Kansas City Shuffle without a body.

Mr. Goodkat: Charlie Chaplin entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest in Monte Carlo and came in third. Now that's a story. This... is something else.

Hartigan: [Last thoughts as he shoots himself] An old man dies, a young woman lives. Fair trade. I love you, Nancy.

Hartigan: Just one hour to go. My last day on the job. Not my idea. Doctor's orders; heart condition. Angina, he calls it. I'm polishing my badge and getting myself used to the idea of saying goodbye to it. It and the thirty odd years of protecting and serving and...blood and terror and triumph it represents. I think about Eileen's slow smile, about the thick fat steaks she picked up from the butcher's today. I think about the one loose end I haven't tied up. A young girl who's out there, somewhere, helpless in the hands of a drooling lunatic.

Hartigan: This guy smells awful. Like bad food. Like a corpse left in a garbage dumpster in the middle of summer, he stinks so bad I want to throw up.

Hartigan: Let go of my coat, Bob.

Hartigan: There's wrong and there's wrong and then there's this.

Hartigan: When it comes to reassuring a traumatized 19-year-old, I'm about as expert as a palsy victim doing brain surgery with a pipe wrench.

Hartigan: [after being shot several times] I'm doing fine, Bob. Never better...ready to kick your ass.

Hartigan: Skinny little Nancy Callaghan. She grew up. She filled out.

Hartigan: Things go dark. I don't mind much. It's okay. She'll be safe. An old man dies. A little girl lives. Fair trade.

Hartigan: I take his weapons away from him. Both of them.

Hartigan: [While police brutally try to blackmail him] This is just a price I promised myself I'd pay, now I'm paying it. You don't save a little girl's life and then turn around and throw her to the dogs. Not in my book you don't.. They want a confession? They won't get it.

Hartigan: Hell of a way to end a partnership. Hell of a way to start my retirement.

Sonny Truelove: You've fucked up your life so bad! And the only way you're gonna UNFUCK it, is that you come clean now, Johnny, YOU COME CLEAN NOW!

Sonny Truelove: A drug dealer? No. Did he sell a little weed? Yeah.

Sonny Truelove: [''First lines of film''] You wanna know what this is all about? You can say its about drugs or guns or disaffected youth, or whatever you like. But this whole thing is about parenting. It's about taking care of your children. You take care of yours, I take care of mine.

Roadblock: General.

Joe Colton: Call me Joe.

Joe Colton: You alright?

Lady Jaye: Yeah. Are you alright?

Joe Colton: My cholesterol's a little high.

Joe Colton: [sneaking up behind the Joes] I'll take 2 boxes of Thin Mints and a box of Chuckle Lucks.

Joe Colton: It's not like I don't hear what you're saying. But an impostor president?

Joe Colton: DOD says I can't come out of retirement. They didn't say anything about re-enlisting.

James Cole: Look at them. They're just asking for it. Maybe the human race deserves to be wiped out.

Jeffrey Goines: Wiping out the human race? That's a great idea. That's great. But more of a long-term thing. I mean, first we have to focus on more immediate goals.

Jeffrey Goines: You know what crazy is? Crazy is majority rules. Take germs, for example.

James Cole: Germs?

Jeffrey Goines: [[w:Ignaz Semmelweis|Semmelweis; [w:microorganism|germs] Uh-huh. Eighteenth century: no such thing, nada, nothing. No one ever imagined such a thing. No sane person. Along comes this doctor, uh, ], Semmelweis. Semmelweis comes along. He's trying to convince people, other doctors mainly, that's there's these teeny tiny invisible bad things called germs that get into your body and make you sick. He's trying to get doctors to wash their hands. What is this guy? Crazy? Teeny, tiny, invisible? What do they call it? Uh-uh, ]? Huh? What? Now, up to the 20th century — last week, as a matter of fact, before I got dragged into this hellhole — I go in to order a burger at this fast-food joint, and the guy drops it on the floor. James, he picks it up, he wipes it off, he hands it to me like it's all OK. "What about the germs?" I say. He says "I don't believe in germs. Germs is a plot made up so they could sell disinfectants and soaps." Now he's crazy, right? See? Ah! Ah! There's no right, there's no wrong, there's only popular opinion. You... you... you believe in germs, right?

James Cole: [[crazy] This is a place for ] people. I'm not crazy.

Dr. Peters: We don't use the term "crazy," Mr. Cole.

James Cole: Well, you've got some real nuts here.

James Cole: [[dead; [people] All I see are ] ].

James Cole: [[past; [change; [time] It's just like what's happening with us, like the ]. The movie never changes. It can't ]; but every ] you see it, it seems different because you're different. You see different things.

James Cole: [[great; [crazy; [world] Oh, wouldn't it be ] if I was ]? Then the ] would be okay.

The Jackal: [points to her wound] Press here. Hard. It'll slow the bleeding.

The Jackal: [draws a heart shape on her cheek with her blood] Ah. See, that's bad. The blood's almost black. That means the bullet's in your liver. You've got about twenty minutes to live. If the pain gets to be too much, take your hand away, and you'll be dead in five minutes.

Valentina Koslova: [fiercely] When Declan kills you, you think of me, okay?

The Jackal: [smiles] Sure, I'll do that.

The Jackal: If you see Declan before you die, tell him that he can't protect his women.

Ian Lamont: [seeing the new gun that The Jackal is about to test] Motherfucking motherfucker... that motherfucker is state of the art! Dude, I knew it was going to be big. I didn't know it was going to be the fuckin prototype cannon. It's a fuckin motrol... Damn! Some hairy looking rounds.

The Jackal: Made from depleted uranium. Go through anything. Once they get inside they just spall.

Ian Lamont: [imitates spalling noise] Hell yeah. They spall, yeah. They get in there and they just... That rocks. Look at the friggin lens on that thing...

The Jackal: Don't touch that.

Ian Lamont: [the Jackal turns on the remote targeting computer, and brings up a visual of the target] It's got like a 2000 mile zoom lens. That thing is kick ass. Dude, is this thing a prototype, or what? I bet you it cost you a shitload. That rocks. Man, you rock. Do you know what I'm saying? Rooooock! Fuckin thing kicks ass. Oh, yeah. Bring on the spall, baby. I can't wait to see the shit...

The Jackal: [annoyed] Lamont. Close your mouth.

Ian Lamont: Smooth action, yeah?

The Jackal: Ready?

Ian Lamont: [the tree hit by the bullet topples, knocking the pumpkin off its stand] YEAH! Spall! Well... it took out the target.

The Jackal: No, it's off... by at least three millimeters.

Ian Lamont: No, dude. That's precision craftsmanship. It ain't off no three millimeters.

The Jackal: So, Lamont... tell me how you sight in this thing automatically.

Ian Lamont: Uh, punch in the windage and the elevation you want and hit Enter.

The Jackal: So you just kinda guesstimate it, huh?

Ian Lamont: [the Jackal inputs the settings, and the gun points right at Lamont] Basically guesstimation. Whoa! Okay, I give up!

The Jackal: Well... I guess the automatic sighting works.

Ian Lamont: Yeah, I thought I was about to sprawl!

The Jackal: Well, Lamont, we're gonna have to speed-test it now.

Ian Lamont: Yep, speed-test.

The Jackal: So... run.

Ian Lamont: [confused] What do you mean?

The Jackal: [icily; Lamont's expression suddenly becomes one of terror, as he runs across the muddy clearing] I mean run. Now. Run to your right!

The Jackal: [to himself; louder; Lamont keeps running; Lamont turns; seeing Lamont is petrified] Get up... Get up! Alright, good, stop there! Just stop there! Turn around! Hold out that pack of cigarettes! Don't be afraid!

The Jackal: [Lamont is shaking, part elements, part terror] Stay very still! Stand still!

The Jackal: [sees a moaning Lamont, without his left arm; Lamont does so, and as The Jackal prepares to fire, Lamont tries to shield himself by the car with his right arm, but it's too late. The car is hit a spray of bullets, as well as Lamont, and the car explodes] Told you it was off. Move over by the car! Quick, before you pass out!

TV narrator: [during this line, the Jackal drinks; The door opens and Terek walks in from his previous meeting] Unlike other, less cunning predators, the hyena takes no chances. Never attacking unless sure of a kill. Though a consummate killer, he is clearly no gentleman.

Terek Murad: [picks up a bottle, opens it and pours himself a drink; puts the lid back on the bottle, and shows the bottle to the Jackal] I apologize for keeping you waiting. I had some other business to dispose of. So much wasted time, confusing motion with accomplishment. Another drink?

The Jackal: [Russian] If we could get to the point.

Terek Murad: [opens the folder and shows the Jackal a photograph on a sheet of A4] The MVD killed my brother. For that, I will see they drown in blood. But to their allies in America, I wish to send a message - a very public message. I wish to strike fear into the marrow of their bones. Can you kill this person?

The Jackal: [silently studying the photograph; Terek walks over to an armchair facing the Jackal, on the other side of the coffee table, sits down and runs the photograph through a shredder next to his chair] Yes. If I take this job, I'll have to disappear. Forever. So if you want me to do this, you're going to have to pay me.

Terek Murad: [slyly] How much?

The Jackal: [thinking; sips his drink] American dollars, all cash, of course. Half now, half upon completion... Seventy million.

Terek Murad: [laughs; raises his drink; drinks] Why not? Done.

The Jackal: How many people know about this?

Terek Murad: [points at the Jackal; points at himself] You and I.

The Jackal: Keep it that way. Don't refer to our arrangement by telephone or fax, ever. You should find a place outside of Russia to hide until the mission's completed. If word of this leaks, it will be my choice whether to continue the mission or not. Either way, I keep the initial payment. Agreed?

Terek Murad: [nodding] Okay.

Trench: I'll be back.

Church: [''Leaves''] You've been back enough. I'll be back.

Trench: Yippee-ki-yay.

Trench: [Church pulls up in a [[w:Smart (marque)|SmartCar] ] My shoe is bigger than this car.

Church: Shoot something!

John McClane: [during the shoot out] You remember the last time we talked just before you went away?

Jack McClane: Ah no! No, no, no! You're not gonna open up to me before we die! That's not your thing, John!

John McClane: What's my thing?

Jack McClane: Killing bad guys! That's your thing!

John McClane: [preparing to return fire] You're not gonna die today!

John McClane: [as they gear up] You got a plan?

Jack McClane: Not really. I kinda thought we would just wing it, you know. Running in, guns blazing! Make it up as we go.

John McClane: The shit we do for our kids. Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

Jack McClane: [looking out the window] John!

John McClane: What do you got?

Jack McClane: A big old bird!

Jack McClane: Certain death.

John McClane: Like your mother's cooking.

John McClane: Need a hug?

Jack McClane: We're not a hugging family.

John McClane: Damn straight!

John McClane: The shit we do for our kids. Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!

John McClane: Do you think I understand a word you're saying?!

John McClane: Me and my boy here, we're gonna put a whuppin on ya!

John McClane: The 007 of Plainfield, New Jersey.

Elijah Price: Why is it, do you think, that of all the professions in the world you chose protection?

David Dunn: You are a very strange man.

Elijah Price: You could have been a tax accountant. You could have owned your own gym. You could have opened a chain of restaurants. You could've done of ten thousand things, but in the end, you chose to protect people. You made that decision, and I find that very, very interesting.

Joseph Dunn: I thought maybe because you're my dad... I thought I might be like you... I'm not like you...

David Dunn: You are like me. We can both get hurt. I'm just an ordinary man.

Joseph Dunn: No, you're not... Why do you keep saying that?

Elijah Price: It has begun. Tell me something, David. When you woke up this morning... Was it still there? The sadness?

David Dunn: No.

Elijah Price: [handshake] I think this is where we shake hands.

Bar Patron: I worked in that building 25 years, I know all its secrets.

Elijah Price: Secrets?

Bar Patron: Like, if there ever was a fire on floors 1, 2 or 3, everyone in that hotel would be burned alive.

David Dunn: What have you done...?

Elijah Price: I almost gave up hope. There were so many times I questioned myself...

David Dunn: You killed all those people...

Elijah Price: But I found you. So many sacrifices, just to find you.

David Dunn: Jesus Christ...

Elijah Price: Now that we know who you are, I know who I am. I'm not a mistake! It all makes sense! In a comic, you know how you can tell who the arch-villain's going to be? He's the exact opposite of the hero. And most times they're friends, like you and me! I should've known way back when... You know why, David? Because of the kids. They called me Mr Glass.

Mrs. Price: This is one of Johann Davis's earliest drawings. See the villain's eyes? They're larger than the other characters'. They — insinuate a slightly skewed perspective on how they see the world. Just off normal.

David Dunn: Doesn't look scary.

Mrs. Price: Mm-hmm. That's what I said to my son. But he says there's always two kinds; there's the soldier villain — who fights the hero with his hands; and then there's the real threat — the brilliant and evil archenemy — who fights the hero with his mind.

David Dunn: I wanted to ask you a question. It's gonna sound a little strange, just think about it for a second, okay?

Audrey Dunn: Okay.

David Dunn: When's the last time I was sick? Do you remember?

Audrey Dunn: Um, I don't know. It's been a while.

David Dunn: I haven't been sick this year, I know that.

Audrey Dunn: Okay.

David Dunn: Do you remember me getting sick?

Audrey Dunn: Um... not a specific day. What - what's this about?

David Dunn: Audrey, do you remember me ever getting sick? In the three years we lived in this house? In the old apartment? Before Joseph was born? Before we ever got married?

Audrey Dunn: I - I can't remember.

David Dunn: Don't you think that's kind of weird, not remembering one cold or a fever or a sore throat? What do you think it means?

Audrey Dunn: Um... I think it means probably too tired to remember.

Joseph Dunn: [[Bruce Lee] Do you think you could've beaten up ]?

David Dunn: No.

Joseph Dunn: I mean if you knew karate.

David Dunn: No.

Joseph Dunn: Well, what if he wasn't allowed to kick and you were really mad at him?

David Dunn: No, Joseph.

David Dunn: You forgot the "Now I'm going to tell you what the hell is going on" step. See, that usually that comes before the, "It's over" Step. And it always, always comes before the "You can go" Step.

David Dunn: You are like me. We can both get hurt. I'm just an ordinary man.

David Dunn: Friends listen to each other! And they don't shoot each other, do they Audrey?

David Dunn: I see guys like you all the time in my work, you find someone you want to take advantage of, you tell them a fantastic story, and somewhere in there you say it, I just need your credit card number. A small down payment.

John McClane: [uses a Dulles phone to call Los Angeles] I know someone who can help.

Al Powell: LAPD. Sergeant Powell speaking.

McClane: Powell, put down that Twinkie and talk to me!

Powell: John! How the hell you been?

John McClane: Captain Lorenzo?

Capt Lorenzo: Yeah.

McClane: John McClane.

Lorenzo: Yeah, yeah. I know who you are. You're the asshole that's just broke seven FAA and five District of Columbia regulations, running around my airport with a gun, shooting at people. What do you call that shit?

McClane: Self-defense.

John McClane: Hey, Lorenzo, let me ask you something: what sets off a metal detector first? The lead in your ass or the shit in your brains?

John McClane: Just once, I'd like a regular, normal Christmas. Eggnog, a fuckin Christmas tree, a little turkey. But, no! I gotta crawl around in this motherfuckin tin can!

FBI Agent in van: Does the name Gruber mean anything to you, Lieutenant?

John McClane: It rings a bell, yeah.

John McClane: There's gold in the Federal Reserve, and they took a shitload of it! They're heading north in dump trucks!

Inspector Cobb: Have you been drinking, McClane?

John McClane: No, not since this morning.

Zeus Carver: You were gonna call me a nigger, weren't you?

John McClane: No, I wasn't!

Zeus Carver: Yes, you were!

John McClane: No!

Zeus Carver: Then what were you gonna call me?!

John McClane: ASSHOLE! How's that, asshole?! What, you got some fuckin problem with me cause I'm white, Zeus?! Is that it?! Have I oppressed you?! Have I oppressed your people somehow?! I'll tell you what your fuckin problem is! You're a racist!

Zeus Carver: [Stunned] What?!

John McClane: You're a racist! You don't like me cause I'm white!

Zeus Carver: I don't like you because you're gonna get me killed!

Zeus Carver: Watch-it, watch-it, watch-it, watch-it--Are you aiming for these people?

John McClane: [Wilhelm scream is heard from a pedestrian jumping out of the way] No! Maybe that mime.