Charlie SheenQuotes

Jack Parkman: I got your timing now. But I'll bet you don't have enough hair on your ass to throw me another one.

Rick Vaughn: Well, here it comes, Parkman. Old number 1: The Terminator. You get a piece of it, you can rename it.

Willie Mayes Hayes: [referring to Vaughn] If the gutless wonder doesn't have to pitch, why should I have to run?

Rick Vaughn: Who you calling a gutless wonder, Tin Man?

Valet: [After being handed a large denomination bill] You got anything smaller?

Sgt. Wes Luger: Keep it.

Valet: Anything larger?

Sgt. Wes Luger: [Menacingly] Yeah.

Maggie: Do you believe in destiny? Is that why you flip coins?

Cappie: I guess so. Do you?

Maggie: I'm interested in destiny.

Cappie: Yeah? What else are you interested in?

Maggie: A lot of things.

Cappie: Things like...

Maggie: Like...

Cappie: Like politics?

Maggie: So-so.

Cappie: Yeah. Are you interested in wide receivers?

Maggie: What's that?

Cappie: The position I play.

Cappie: [laughs] Oh, is that what you play? Sort of.

Cappie: Are you interested in cars?

Maggie: No.

Cappie: No. Are you interested in being kissed?

Maggie: Yes.

Lucas: So, you ready to go?

Maggie: I don't think we can go, Lucas.

Lucas: Why not?

Maggie: Cappie and Alise broke up today.

Lucas: But aren't they here?

Maggie: Cappie's here, and he's very depressed. Sit down.

Maggie: She was jealous, or she doesn't like me or something. She said she'd break up with him if he went through with it. She didn't want to go with us, Luke. So, I think we have to call it off.

Lucas: I have my bike. We can still go.

Maggie: He kind of needs someone with him tonight. I don't want to leave him by himself. He had tears in his eyes when he came over tonight. Can you imagine that big, strong guy crying?

Cappie: Hi, Luke. I am sorry, Bud. Am I a drag, or what?

Lucas: Listen. I think you should come to the dance with us. I think it'd cheer you up.

Cappie: Naw. I'd feel like a third wheel. We were thinking of going out for a pizza. Why don't you come with us?

Maggie: Yeah, why don't you?

Lucas: You're going out for pizza.

Cappie: Well, it's just a suggestion.

Lucas: If you're so depressed how come you're eating pizza?

Cappie: Maybe I should just go home.

Lucas: No. Go eat pizza. Don't let me spoil your depression.

Maggie: Are you okay? Where are you going?

Lucas: To the dance.

Maggie: By yourself?

Lucas: Hey, I'm a party animal.

Cappie: I'm just being nice to her.

Alise: Well, stop being nice to her! I don't want you talking to her anymore, I don't want to turn around and see you walking with her and smiling at her. I don't want her in this car on Friday night. We're not giving her any ride to any goddamn dance, she can put her fat ass on the back of Lucas's bike where it damn well belongs!

Bruno: What are you always sticking up for this wimp for?

Cappie: Why are you always picking on him?

Topper Harley: Do you know what its like to have your heart shot out of season and tied to the top of a car? How it feels to be passed like the world's largest kidney stone? Ramada... I don't THINK so.

Topper Harley: I'm not saying I don't trust you, and I'm not saying I do. But I don't.

Topper Harley: These men have taken a supreme vow of celibacy, like their fathers, and their fathers before them...

Jed Eckert: Do you want blindfolds?

Stepan Gorsky: [[w:Geneva Conventions|Geneva Convention] This violates the ]!

Eckert: I never heard of it!

Gorsky: Dogface! I show you how Soviet dies.

Robert: I've seen it before, pal.

Danny: This isn't happening! Jed, let him go! He was one of us!

Jed Eckert: Shut up, Danny! Shut up!

Robert: He told them where we were!

Jed Eckert: He did. Now get your rifles.

Matt Eckert: No!

Jed: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Matt: We're not doing it!

Gorsky: [to Daryl] Boy, say at me you are friend, so I will not die alone.

Matt: What's the difference, Jed?

Robert: I'll do it.

Matt: [to Jed] Shut up, Robert! Tell me what's the difference between us and them!

Jed: [kills Gorsky and when he hesitates with Daryl, Robert kills him] Because ... we live here!

Annie: Promise me you'll never remarry.

Tom: I promise.

Annie: And no sex, either.

Tom: I'm sorry. I didn't catch that.

Annie: No sex.

Tom: Honey, you're not speaking clearly. Your injuries must be awful.

Annie: No sex.

Tom: Oh, cruel fate to shroud my wife's dying words in mystery!

Annie: (shouts) No sex!

Tom: Poor Annie. We hardly knew her. She'll be missed terribly.

Annie: Oh, Jesus.

Tom: That's right, honey. Go into the light.

Annie: Look! Just tell George, swing away.

Tom: Right. Swing away.

Annie: Oh, sure. That you understand. (dies)

Trooper Champlin: This... is your wife. (snaps a hot dog in half)

Tom: She broke her weiner?

Trooper Champlin: (sighs) Tom, look what happens to the taco. (breaks a taco in half)

Tom: I, I don't understand all this medical lingo. I wanna see Anne!

Trooper Champlin: Your wife is split in half.

Tom: (splitting a sub sandwich down the middle) You mean like, down the middle in half?

Trooper Champlin: (sighs) At the waist. That truck is the only thing keeping her alive.

Tom: You mean, this is the only time I can talk to the top half?

Trooper Champlin: Yes.

Tom: Well, let's just say this is her bottom half. (pulls out a donut) Can I spend a little time with that?

Trooper Champlin: I don't understand what you mean.

Tom: (now holding a hot dog) Okay, let me explain.

Trooper Champlin: Tom... go to her.

Tom: Argh! My balls!

Tom: No, not those... Jesus!

Tom: No!

Tom: [''Holding Michael Jackson outside of a window''] How do you like it?

King: Hey, Taylor, how in the fuck you get here anyway? You look educated.

Chris Taylor: I volunteered for it.

King: You did what?

Chris: I volunteered. I dropped out of college, told em I wanted the infantry. Combat. Vietnam.

Crawford: You volunteered for this shit, man?

Chris: Believe that?

King: You's a crazy fucker, giving up college.

Chris: Didn't make much sense, I wasn't learning anything. I figured why should just the poor kids go off to war and the rich kids always get away with it.

King: Oh, I see, what we got here is a crusader.

Crawford: Sounds like it.

King: Shiiit, you gotta be rich in the first place to think like that. Ever'body know the poor always being fucked over by the rich. Always have, always will.

Chris Taylor: [[possession; [soul] I think now, looking back, we did not fight the enemy, we fought ourselves, and the enemy was in us. The war is over for me now, but it will always be there, the rest of my days. As I'm sure Elias will be, fighting with Barnes for what Rhah calls "] of my ]". There are times since, I've felt like a child, born of those two fathers. But be that as it may, those of us who did make it have an obligation to build again. To teach to others what we know, and to try with what's left of our lives to find a goodness and a meaning to this life.

Chris Taylor: [[sanity; [right; [wrong; [w:Civil war|civil war; [w:North Vietnam|them] Day by day I struggle to maintain not only my strength but also my ]. It's all a blur. I have no energy to write. I don't know what's ] or ] anymore. The morale of the men is low, a ] in the platoon. Half the men with Elias, half with Barnes. There's a lot of suspicion and hate. I can't believe we're fighting each other when we should be fighting ].

Chris Taylor: New Year's Day, 1968. Just another day, stayin alive. There's been a lot of movement near the Cambodian border, regiments of NVA moving across. A lot of little firefights and ambushes. We drop a lot of bombs and then we walk through the jungle like ghosts in a landscape.

Chris Taylor: [[Hell; [country; [World War I|first war; [World War II|the second; [w:Tennessee|Tennessee; [w:Mississippi|Mississippi; [w:Utah|Utah; [w:Pennsylvania|Pennsylvania] Somebody once wrote, "] is the impossibility of reason." That's what this place feels like. Hell. I hate it already and it's only been a week. Some goddamn week, Grandma. The hardest thing I think I've ever done is go on point three times this week - I don't even know what I'm doing. A gook could be standing three feet in front of me and I wouldn't know it. I'm so tired. We get up at 5 am, hump all day, camp around four or five, dig a foxhole, eat, then put out an all-night ambush or a three-man listening post in the jungle. It's scary, cause nobody tells me how to do anything cause I'm new and nobody cares about the new guys. They don't even want to know your name. The unwritten rule is a new guy's life isn't worth as much cause he hasn't put his time in yet. And they say if you're gonna get killed in the Nam, it's better to get it in the first few weeks, the logic being you don't suffer that much. If you're lucky, you get to stay in the perimeter at night and then you pull a three-hour guard shift, so maybe you sleep 3, 4 hours a night, but you don't really sleep. I don't think I can keep this up for a year, Grandma. I think I've made a big mistake comin here. Of course, Mom and Dad didn't want me to come here. They wanted me to be just like them. Respectable, hardworking, a little house, a family. They drove me crazy with their goddamn world, Grandma. You know Mom. I guess I've always been sheltered and special. I just wanna be anonymous like everybody else. Do my share for my ]. Live up to what Grandpa did in the ] and Dad did in ]. Well, here I am, anonymous alright, with guys nobody really cares about. They come from the end of the line, most of em. Small towns you never heard of: Pulaski, ]. Brandon, ]. Pork Bend, ]. Wampum, ]. Two years high school's about it. Maybe if they're lucky, a job waiting for em back in a factory. But most of em got nothin'. They're poor. They're the unwanted. Yet they're fighting for our society and our freedom. It's weird, isn't it? At the bottom of the barrel, and they know it. Maybe that's why they call themselves grunts', cause a grunt can take it, can take anything. They're the best I've ever seen, Grandma. The heart and soul. Maybe I finally found it way down here in the mud. Maybe from down here I can start up again and be something I can be proud of, without having to fake it, be a fake human being. Maybe I can see something I don't yet see, or learn something I don't yet know. I miss you. I miss you very much. Tell Mom I miss her too. Chris.

Bud Fox: [Walks in to SEC agents waiting in his office] I guess you're not here to open an IRA...

Bud Fox: There's no nobility in poverty.

Bud Fox: [After Gekko buys stock from him] WOO! I JUST BAGGED THE ELEPHANT, BABY!!

Bud Fox: You know what's my dream? To someday be on the other end of that phone.

Bud Fox: [As the market opens] We're off and running!

Cardinal Richelieu: You're too late, Musketeers! By now, the Duke of Buckingham's signature is next to mine! The alliance is complete!

Athos: [holds up the treaty document] That would be difficult... considering the treaty never left France!

Cardinal Richelieu: [tries not to react] A minor problem. I will return twice as strong, and the throne will be mine!!

Aramis: [as he fights off the Cardinal's men aboard; facing the Cardinal] I think not! You will never harm another soul ever again. My promise to God!

King Louis: [blocks Aramis; Richelieu smiles but the king punches him into the water] Wait.

Porthos: Athos, you cannot fight this boy.

Athos: Why not?

Porthos: I'm fighting him.

D'Artagnan: Not until one o'clock.

Aramis: I have a duel with him, too.

D'Artagnan: Not until two o'clock.

Aramis: [to Porthos] Only the wrong words are a complete waste of time. The right words can leave a more lasting impression than a thousand of Porthos kisses.

Barmaid: Not likely.

Aramis: [to barmaid; kisses Barmaid's hand] Shall I demonstrate? As morning hues of sunswept fire caress your passioned face, alone with thee a pure desire to worship untold grace. My soul would cry in silent prayer to an hour swept apart. Your essence warms the evening air as I dance into your heart.

D'Artagnan: Shakespeare.

Aramis: Aramis.

Porthos: Fleeting.

Barmaid: It was beautiful.

Aramis: [Barmaid gets up and kisses Aramis] Oh, thank you.

Aramis: [awakes after being supposedly shot and killed by the Cardinal. He sees his hidden crucifix had stopped the bullet] See? There is a God.

Aramis: [finds Richelieu's hidden treasure chest in his carriage] Is he a man of God or a man of gold?

Franklin Hatchett: (Talking on the phone) Hello? Yeah, it Mike Michke. Remember me? Yeah, you done fucked with me for the last time goddammit. There's ah bomb in tha building. That's right, THERE'S AH GODDAMN BOMB IN THA BUILDING!

James Russell: (Wrestling the phone from Franklin) Fuck you, fuck you!

Franklin Hatchett: THERE'S AH GODDAMN BOMB IN THE BUILDING AND IT'S FIXIN TO BLOW! YOU BETTER GET YO ASS OUT, RIGHT NOW!!!!