House on Haunted Hill - Asylum Machine Seals Fate of Inmates
Eddie Baker:
What happened?
Watson Pritchett:
Lockdown.
Sara/Jennifer:
What is that?
Watson Pritchett:
A machine from an old asylum. It seals everything shut. That's how they burned to death in 31. Dr. Vanacutt threw the switch! If he was gonna die, they're all gonna die!
Melissa Margarett Marr:
Well no wonder they're still pissed off.
Donald W. Blackburn:
Let's go into the other room and I'll take care of your hands.
Watson Pritchett:
The only five of the insane are Vanacutt's staff.
Donald W. Blackburn:
Why isn't that machine disabled?
Watson Pritchett:
It was on my dad's things to do list here. But the house did it first.
Eddie Baker:
Wait, you said that was an accident.
Watson Pritchett:
I lied. The house is alive. We're all gonna die.
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House on Haunted Hill - Revelation of the Guest List
Sara Wolfe:
Oh my god! I think how the guest list was made! Look at these names! Head Nurse: Ruth Ann Stockard! Electroshock: Adolphus Jenzen! Franklin Baker! Thomas Stevens Price! Jasper Marr! They're all here!
Eddie Baker:
Who's all here? I'm missing someone.
Sara Wolfe:
Everyone who was invited! They were related to the five of the staff members when the place was burned! There was five of us.
Watson Pritchett:
The five that didn't die?
Eddie Baker:
Holy shit!
Watson Pritchett:
Booga booga.
Sara Wolfe:
Are you saying?
Watson Pritchett:
Price didn't make the list, the house did! Because she's a vengeful stupid whore!
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House on Haunted Hill - Skepticism About the House's Haunting
Sara Wolfe:
Is this house really haunted?
Watson Pritchett: [near hysterical]
It's uh, well, bleh... hah... yeah, it's pretty scary.
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House on Haunted Hill - A Darkly Humorous Reflection on Mortality
Watson Pritchett:
Jesus, she's dead. She was cute too. God, I'd love to get laid before I die.
Watson Pritchett:
How you doin tonight?
Watson Pritchett:
Yeah, I'm alright.
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House on Haunted Hill - Desperation in a Haunted House
Eddie Baker:
There's gotta be a way out of here! Someway! (Looks at Pritchett) Pritchett!
Watson Pritchett:
What?
Eddie Baker:
(Smacks bottle away from Pritchett's hands and the bottle was dropped accidentally smashed on the floor) I'M TALKING TO YOU!
Eddie Baker:
(Points finger at Pritchett) Watch it!
Sara Wolfe:
I'm trying to figure out who or what Melissa was taping when she disappeared.
Eddie Baker:
Right, then where will we be?
Watson Pritchett:
Out of Scotch, thanks to you, Ass!
Sara Wolfe:
Hey, I think I got something!
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
Bravo! Bravo! I know it's not too kind to ask the magician how he did it. Clever minds are too desperate to know. Just what did happen to little Miss Marr?
Steven Price:
(Turns to face his wife) Asking the wrong guy.
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
I mean did she staged it all for you and then go hide? Or did you just flat out and kill the little bitch?!
Steven Price:
I propose you the same question.
Steven Price:
If I have one, Evelyn. Whom do you think?
Steven Price:
If you think that's gonna do the trick? Do you, Tulip! I will never give you a loaded gun!
Steven Price:
Jesus!
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
(Mockingly) Funky old house, ain't it?
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
Friends, your hostess is now going to retire for what's left of the night. If you need me, I'll be upstairs in my bedroom. Not if much as anyone as peeps in the keyhole, I'm gonna empty this thing into their fucking head!
Steven Price:
Oh, come on! I loaded them with blanks. Even if I were gonna... murder my wife, I would rather do it in a abandoned house.
Eddie Baker:
(Eddie remembered what Sara had mentioned) Here! Take this!
Eddie Baker:
What good is a million dollars when you're dead?
Sara Wolfe:
Okay, Let's find a way out of here!
Eddie Baker:
Right!
Donald W. Blackburn M.D.:
I'm gonna try and find Miss Marr.
Watson Pritchett:
And I better find me something to drink.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
House on Haunted Hill - Games Have Already Begun in Distress
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
Well, lookie! Looks like the games have already begun.
Eddie Baker:
Where is he? WHERE'S PRICE?!
Sara Wolfe:
No! But I am so fucking far from alright and it's not even funny! Someone or something just tried to drown me in a tank of blood with the size of a buick!
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
Uh, let me give you a little hint. His initials are S.P.
Steven Price:
(Heard what Evelyn was talking about and sat up from the couch as Pritchett walks past him) Alright! S.P: As in sorry, Petunia. Because I was with Pritchett this whole time.
Eddie Baker: [to Price.]
Look at this! Huh? What is this?
Watson Pritchett: [turns around]
That? What just happened to you there... that's nothing. You've just been playing around with a ghost. Wait til somebody lets out the Darkness in this place. That's a whole... that's a whole new bunch of crazy shit. That's... you'll hate that shit.
Sara Wolfe:
What is this darkness?
Watson Pritchett:
It! The Thing! The Evil! The rotten core of the bottom of that place! The thing that's gonna kill us all! Death by Corroison: That thing!
Donald W. Blackburn M.D.:
So, either we spend the night and collect our money, or we try and find a way out of here.
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
(Smiles) You know me, the more the merrier. I guess somebody better find this game show hostess.
Steven Price:
Where is she?
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House on Haunted Hill - Confronting Fear in a Haunted House
Sara/Jennifer:
So what, we're stuck here forever?
Eddie Baker:
Oh, so then we'll just stay here til morning.
Watson Pritchett: [sarcastic]
Oh, great. I'm sure we'll all be mutilated beyond recognition by then. (Drinks Burbon Bottle)
Sara/Jennifer:
What do I feel like this is some sick joke just to scare us out of our wits and with a Hella lot of money?
Evelyn:
You got that right! (To Steven) Take a bow, you sick fuck! You've out done yourself tonight. You've scared the shit out of even me.
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House on Haunted Hill - Demanding Immediate Payment
Watson Pritchett:
Sorry to interrupt. God dammit, you give me my god damn check right now! Cuz I want it! So you give it! Now! I'm serious.
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House on Haunted Hill - The Indifference of the Haunted House
Watson Pritchett:
The house doesn't care what's fair, who lives or dies. Know why? Cause it's a fucking house!
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House on Haunted Hill - The House's Anger and Lack of Morals
Watson Pritchett: [walks slowly up to Sarah]
You don't... get it... do you? This house is pissed. It has no morals, cuz it's a fucking house!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
House on Haunted Hill - Vengeful House Takes Precedence Over Price
Watson Pritchett: [to Eddie; kicks the machinery]
Price didn't make the list, the house did... Cause she's a vengeful stupid whore!
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Undercover Brother - Party Atmosphere Among Friends
Mr. Feather:
Everything is "A party over here!" with you people, isn't it?
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Undercover Brother - Unity and Diversity in Society's Future
Mr. Feather: [[w:Ally McBeal|Ally McBeal]
Little by little we're blending and merging until one day we're all going to be one united people, living and working and dancing together like the news, or ], or the people that work at Saturn! And we've gotta stop it before it's too late!
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Undercover Brother - Introducing a Unique Secret Weapon
Mr. Feather:
It's time to release our secret weapon. I call it... Black Man's Kryptonite.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.














