The Boat That Rocked - Good News Amidst Impending Disaster
Quentin:
Gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you prefer?
Thick Kevin:
Good news.
Quentin:
Okay. The good news is the engine has exploded and we're all going to die.
Dave:
Hello, Dr Dave, Radio Rock. How is that good news?
Quentin:
I haven't yet told you how we're going to die. That's the bad news.
Simon:
How are we gonna die?
Quentin:
We're going to drown in the freezing waters of the North Sea.
Felicity:
Dearie me.
Quentin:
There is a huge hole in the side of the boat and in an unfortunate development, it transpires that the lifeboats are useless.
Thick Kevin: [to Angus]
Actually, that's quite good for you, isn't it? Cause you can't swim, so you'll die quicker.
Quentin:
Sorry.
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The Boat That Rocked - Defiance Against the End of Pirate Radio
Quentin:
The day has come. Tonight pirate radio dies. From midnight, we are a ghost ship floating without hope on cold and dark waters. You have done almighty work here. Thank you. But your work is done.
The Count:
Not mine, sir. I'm an American citizen and I don't give a hootenanny God damn about your nitpicking limey laws. I intend to broadcast from this ship 24 hours a day until the day I die. And then for a couple days after that.
Gavin Cavanagh:
Not wanting to sound rude or anything, but don't you think that might be an ever so slightly monotonous experience for the listener? What do you say to 12 hours each, noble sir?
Angus:
The way I look at it, the world couldn't survive without my comedy, and who's going to have the moral backbone to play the Seekers when the mood is right?
Dave:
They've split up.
Angus:
I intend to celebrate the back catalogue.
Dave:
I intend to stop you doing so.
Simon:
As some of you know, my wife left me after 17 hours of marriage, but I survived that because I live for music. And now, with nothing else to live for, I'm willing to die for it as well.
John:
I've always lived for news and weather. Happy to die for them, too. Especially the weather.
Bob Silver:
I've got nowhere else to go.
Harold:
I have somewhere else to go, but it's Peckham. So I think I'll stick around.
Felicity:
Can't let everyone starve. And I'm slightly worried where my increasingly powerful sexuality will take me when I return to normal life.
Thick Kevin:
I've got a very strong suspicion that Felicity fancies me. Not about to go anywhere, just when I'm in with a chance.
Young Carl:
Obviously, I'm in. You're the only people in the world who like me.
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The Boat That Rocked - A Humorous Take on Excessive Boats
Simon:
I believe the technical term is a fuckload of boats!
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Bridesmaids - The Confession of a Cop
Officer Rhodes:
Do you want to tell a cop about it? We're just like priests except we would tell everybody afterwards.
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Calvary - Speculating on Mental Health and Dietary Issues
Jack Brennan:
I think she's bipolar, or lactose intolerant, one of the two.
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