Stir Crazy - Cell Upgrade Request in Stir Crazy
Skip Donahue:
I want a bigger cell! With better ventilation!
Deputy Ward Wilson:
Why? Grossberger been farin on ya?
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The Osterman Weekend - The Consequences of Programming and Decisions
Bernard Osterman:
I'm still wondering how we got into this mess.
John Tanner:
It's called being programmed.
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The Osterman Weekend - Traffic Stop and Conversation About Speeding
Bernard Osterman:
What's the trouble?
Motorcycle Cop:
Can I see your license, please?
Bernard Osterman:
Yeah, I wasn't speeding though. I've given that up. You know I've cut, I've cut way back on speeding. I've cut, cut it way down.
Motorcycle Cop:
Yeah I thought that was you, you write for TV, don't ya?
Bernard Osterman:
Yeah that's me. Yeah I'm, I'm on my way to catch a plane though, right.
Motorcycle Cop:
Oh, don't worry, you'll make it. I like your stuff, Mister Osterman. Only sometimes I think you tend to be a little strident, ya know.
Bernard Osterman:
Strident? Are you giving me a ticket for strident writing are you? That means the death penalty for Beverly Hills parking violations is coming back too, huh?
Motorcycle Cop: [smiles]
Have a nice day.
Bernard Osterman:
Yeah.
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The Osterman Weekend - Legal Boundaries and Moral Dilemmas
Bernard Osterman:
It ain’t legal, but it sure as hell isn’t traitorous.
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The Osterman Weekend - The Nature of Truth and Lies
Bernard Osterman:
The truth is just a lie that hasn't been found out.
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All the Right Moves - Unresolved Conversations Between Characters
Nickerson:
Djordjevic! I'd like to talk to you.
Steff:
We got nothing to talk about.
Nickerson:
Then where are you going?
Steff:
Where am I going?
Nickerson:
Yeah.
Steff:
No place, man. I mean, uh, Shadow, he's going to West Virginia. He just found out tonight. And, Tank's going to Furman. You knew that already. And you're going to Cal Poly. And Mouse, Mouse is going to college, he's gonna play ball. Me, I'm just gonna hang out here, I don't know, ya know? Hey, Nickerson, you lied about me. You blackballed me. "Together." Remember that? "Together. Together. Together." That was all just bullshit.
Nickerson:
What?
Steff: [runs a few steps; runs off]
You're full of shit, man. You just sit there in your office. A scholarship here, no scholarship there. He goes. He stays. Who in the hell gave you that power? You're just a coach. You're just a high school football coach. I mean, I don't know. What, what, I don't know. You know, Nickerson, you are not God! Huh? You're just a typing teacher!
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All the Right Moves - Accountability in Team Performance
Steff:
He didn't quit.
Nickerson:
What did you say?
Steff:
Salvucci, he didn't quit. None of us quit. I don't know. We beat those guys asses up and down that field tonight! We got nothing to be ashamed of, right? Isn't that right? Maybe the scoreboard doesn't say it, but we won that game. We held them. It was just a fluke. That's all. It's just a fluke.
Nickerson:
A fluke? That pass-interference penalty was no fluke. If you had done it the way I taught you, they never would've been down there in the first place, and they never would've scored, and we would've won that game! You're just as responsible as he is.
Steff:
Oh, yeah? If you would've had Rifleman hold the ball, then we would've won the game. We didn't quit. You quit!
Nickerson:
Get your stuff and get the hell out of here right now.
Steff:
What?
Nickerson:
You heard me. You get out of here. You're through. You're off the team.
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Blades of Glory - Conflict Over Gold Medal and Team Dynamics
Darren MacElroy:
You're fired.
Coach:
What?! I brought you the gold medal.
Darren MacElroy:
No, you brought me half a gold medal. If I wanted him to share I would have bought him a brother.
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Blades of Glory - Unexpected Encouragement in a Competitive Moment
Coach:
Jimmy, you put your clothes on! Jimmy! Damn it!
Jimmy:
Watch my icy, hot superslide.
Chazz:
Do it.
Jimmy:
I will.
Chazz:
It's not going to matter because you're flat in front like Ken!
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Blades of Glory - A Playful Challenge Between Competitors
Chazz:
This guy could not hold my jock sweat.
Jimmy:
I could hold it all day long. Try me!
Chazz:
Maybe I will.
Jimmy:
Maybe you should.
Chazz:
You challenging me, princess?
Jimmy:
I'm not inviting you to the Skating Federation's Annual Christmas Party!
Chazz:
Then bring it on!
Jimmy:
It is on!
Coach:
Good. We're in an agreement, then.
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Blades of Glory - Ice Rink Conditions and Team Facilities
Jimmy:
This ice has not been properly zambonied. And where's the warm-down room?
Coach:
We don't have any of that. What we got is a cold storage unit that a buddy of mine let me flood with a garden hose.
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Blades of Glory - A Disagreement About Carpet and Baby Food
Chazz:
Why would we step in baby food?
Jimmy:
He's talking about the carpet. Berber?
Chazz:
What are you? The rug doctor?
Jimmy:
Maybe I am.
Chazz:
I'm the rug master.
Jimmy:
What does that even mean?
Coach:
Shut up and take off your damn shoes.
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Blades of Glory - Roommates and Nighttime Fears
Chazz:
Bunk beds?
Jimmy:
I don't share rooms.
Chazz:
I don't share shit. The night is a very dark time for me.
Jimmy:
It's dark for everyone, moron.
Chazz:
Not for Alaskans or dudes wearing night-vision goggles.
Coach:
All right, this has got to stop right now. From here on out, you guys are a team. You understand? You are going to eat together, sleep together. You are going to pee together. You're going to file a joint income tax return. Practice starts now. End of discussion.
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Blades of Glory - Choosing the Right Music for Skating Routine
Jimmy:
So, Coach. I was thinking about the music for our routine.
Coach:
Really?
Chazz: [[w:My Humps|Lady Hump]
We're gonna skate to one song, and one song only: "]" by the Black Eyed Peas. What you gonna do with all that junk? / All that junk inside your trunk? / I'm gonna get you, get you drunk / Get you drunk off my lady humps / My humps, my humps / My lovely lady humps.
Jimmy: [disgusted]
I don't even know what that means.
Chazz:
No one knows what it means, but it's provocative.
Jimmy:
No, it's not. It's gross.
Chazz:
It gets the people going.
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...And Justice for All - Chaos in the Courtroom: A Trial Unraveled
Arthur:
The one thing that bothered me, the one thing that stayed in my mind and I couldn't get rid of it, that haunted me, was why? Why would she lie? What was her motive for lyin'? If my client is innocent, she's lying. Why? Was it blackmail? No. Was it jealousy? No. Yesterday, I found out why. She doesn't have a motive. You know why? Because she's not lying. And ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the prosecution is not gonna get that man today. No! Because I'm gonna get him! My client, the Honorable Henry T. Fleming, should go right to FUCKIN JAIL! The son of a bitch is GUILTY! That man is guilty! That man, there, that man is a SLIME! He is a slime! If he's allowed to go free, then something really wrong is goin on here!
Judge Rayford:
Mr. Kirkland, you are out of order!
Arthur:
You're OUT OF ORDER! YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER! The whole trial is out of order! They're out of order! That man, that sick, crazy, depraved man, raped and beat that woman there, and he'd like to do it again, he told me so! It's just a show! It's a show! It's "Let's Make A Deal"! "Let's Make A Deal"! Hey Frank, you wanna make a deal? I got an insane judge who likes to beat the shit out of women! Whaddya wanna gimme Frank, three weeks probation?
Frank Bowers:
DAMN IT!
Arthur: [to Judge Fleming]
You son of a bitch! You're supposed to STAND for somethin'! You're supposed to protect people, but instead you fuck and murder them!
Arthur:
You killed McCullough! You killed him! Hold it! Hold it! I just completed my opening statement!
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Poltergeist - Confronting the Consequences of Negligence
Steve Freeling: [bodies begin shooting out of his house & yard; to Teague]
You son of a bitch! You moved the cemetery, but you left the bodies, didn't you?! You son of a bitch, you left the bodies and you only moved the headstones! YOU ONLY MOVED THE HEADSTONES! WHY?! WHY?!
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Poltergeist - Kitchen Safety Precaution Statement
Steve Freeling:
No one's going in the kitchen til I know what's happening.
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