Dan Aykroyd Quotes

Ghostbusters

Unexpected Thoughts and Reactions

Ray Stantz I couldn't help it. It just popped in there.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Trading Places

Nightmare of Loss and Rejection

Louis Winthorpe III I had the most absurd nightmare. I was poor and no one liked me. I lost my job, I lost my house, Penelope hated me and it was all because of this terrible, awful Negro. .

[sees Billy and attacks]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

1941

Miscommunication During Military Training Session

PFC Foley Now, Sarge. What is the loading and firing procedure for the 75-millimeter cannon?

Sgt. Frank Tree There are five basic components...

[delirious]

PFC Foley This is it, pay attention.

Sgt. Frank Tree ...to the new General Electric refrigerator: 1. The freon compressor, 2. The freon tube...

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Driving Miss Daisy

Recalling a Memorable Milk Truck Encounter

Boolie Werthan Hoke, I thought about you the other day on the road. I saw an Avondale Milk truck.

Hoke Colburn Is that right?

Boolie Werthan Monster of a thing, looked to have about sixteen wheels.

Hoke Colburn You don't say!

Boolie Werthan I was wondering how you'd like drivin that thing around!

Daisy Werthan Hoke came to see me, not you!

[to Boolie]

Hoke Colburn Look like one o her good days!

Daisy Werthan Boolie, go charm the nurses!

Boolie Werthan She wants you all to herself. You're a doodle, Mama.

[smiling; to Daisy]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Blues Brothers 2000

Preserving the Legacy of American Music

Elwood Blues You may go if you wish. But remember this: walk away now and you walk away from your crafts, your skills, your vocations; leaving the next generation with nothing but recycled, digitally-sampled techno-grooves, quasi-synth rhythms, pseudo-songs of violence-laden gangsta-rap, acid pop, and simpering, saccharine, soulless slush. Depart now and you forever separate yourselves from the vital American legacies of ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ] and ], ], ], ], ], and ].

Donald "Duck" Dunn Who is Robert K. Weiss?

Elwood Blues Turn your backs now and you snuff out the fragile candles of blues, R&B and soul, and when those flames flicker and expire, the light of the world is extinguished because the music which has moved mankind through seven decades leading to the millennium will wither and die on the vine of abandonment and neglect.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Great Outdoors

Anticipation of Chet's Reaction

Roman Craig Chet is going to shit a solid gold brick when he sees us.

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Trading Places

Unexpected Advances in Trading Places

Louis Winthorpe III Those men wanted to have sex with me!

[to Penelope, as he is leaving jail]

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The Great Outdoors

Questioning the Purpose of a Pontoon Boat

Roman Craig Pontoon boat? What are you going to do with a pontoon boat? Retake Omaha Beach?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Driving Miss Daisy

Casual Conversation About Household Items

Boolie Werthan How're you, Idella.

Idella Livin'.

Boolie Werthan Where's that vacuum cleaner I brought over here?

Idella In the closet.

Boolie Werthan She won't touch it.

[turning to Hoke]

Idella I would if it didn't give me a shock every time I come near it!

Boolie Werthan It works for me!

Idella Fine... you clean and I'll go down and run your office!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Spies Like Us

Unexpected Affection for Horses and Guns

Austin Millbarge You know, I must really like you, because I don't like horses and I hate guns!

[rescuing Fitz-Hume]

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Neighbors

Speculating on Unexpected Parenthood

Vic We haven't any children, unless Ramona just pumped one out and didn't tell me about it.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

1941

Looking Ahead to 1942 in the War

Sgt. Frank Tree You know, this year wasn't the big year of the war, 41. I think the really big year is going to be 1942.

Gen. Joseph Stillwell It's going to be a long war.

[sighs]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

A Ghostbuster's Unexpected Encounter with a Prisoner

Ray Stantz Ray's Occult, and we're closed.

Phoebe Wait! I only get one phone call. I'm... in prison.

Ray The slammer, huh? Heh, been there myself. I'm no lawyer, but I'm listening.

Phoebe Are you Ray Stanz, the Ghostbuster?

Ray And now, I'm hanging up.

Phoebe Hang on, please! I'm calling about Egon Spengler.

Ray Egon Spengler can rot in Hell.

[pauses]

Phoebe He died last week.

Ray Oh, man... No kidding.

Phoebe Weren't you two friends?

Ray That was a long time ago.

Phoebe What happened to you guys?

Ray Well, when we started, busting ghosts was a gas. The economy was good. Reagan years. People believed in us, then things got slow. Hauntings got thin. Venkman thought we did our job too well. Oh, we could barely keep up our mortgage. Some actor bought up most of Tribeca, and we lost the firehouse. It's a Starbucks now.

Phoebe So, then you all just walked away?

Ray Peter went back to academia. He's in SUNY Cortland now, he's a Professor Emeritus, he teaches advertising and promotion. Winston went into finance, he worked hard, coined a fortune. And I'm... here.

Phoebe Well... what about Egon?

Ray Well, he wasn't helping. We went from ten calls a week, to one, if we were lucky. Then Egon started to tell people their little ghost problems didn't matter because the world was coming to an end. He got spooky, freaked me out! One morning, I go to work, and Ecto-1, our old Cadillac, is gone. His neutronophone and collider pack, all the traps! Sixteen ounces of fuel isotope! All gone! He cleaned us out! Now we were the dead ones.

Phoebe Don't you think he might have had a reason?

Ray He phoned me, about ten years later. Some small town in Oklahoma. Kept rambling on about the rising storm. A huge psychic tornado that was going to consume humanity in darkness forever. And, kid, I wanted to believe him-

Phoebe You don't understand, there was this mountain, and it had these ancient carvings, and-

Ray Kid, kid, kid, there are a lot of mountains out there with ancient carvings. Take a little advice: don't go chasing ghosts.

Phoebe Egon Spengler was my grandfather.

Sheriff Domingo Time's up.

[hangs up the phone]

Ray Hello?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Christmas with the Kranks

Vic Frohmeyer Welcomes Frosty to the Celebration

Vic Frohmeyer Nora Krank, we're here for Frosty!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Driving Miss Daisy

Car Accidents and Family Disputes

Daisy Werthan You should have let me keep my old LaSalle. It never would've behaved this way and you know it.

Boolie Werthan Mama, cars don't behave. They are behaved upon. Fact is, you demolished that Chrysler all by yourself.

Daisy Werthan Say what you want, I know the truth.

Boolie Werthan The truth is, you just cost the insurance company $2,700. You're a terrible risk. Nobody's gonna issue you a policy after this.

Daisy Werthan You're just saying that to be hateful!

Boolie Werthan OK. I am. I'm makin it all up. Look out there in the driveway! Every insurance company in America is out there, waving their fountain pen, trying to get you to sign up!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Ghostbusters

Confronting the Unknown in Ghostbusters

Peter Venkman We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!

Hotel Manager Did you see it? What was it?

Ray Stantz We got it!

[holding up the steaming ghost-trap]

Hotel Manager What is it? Will there be any more of them?

Ray Stantz Sir, what you had there was what we referred to as a focused, non-terminal repeating phantasm, or a Class-5 full-roaming vapor. Real nasty one, too.

[coughs]

Peter Venkman And now... ...let's talk seriously. Now, for the entrapment, we're gonna have to ask you for four big ones, $4,000 for that, but we are having a special this week on proton charging and storage of the beast, and that's only going to come to $1,000, fortunately.

[clears his throat; Spengler holds up four fingers behind the Manager; Spengler holds up one finger]

Hotel Manager $5,000? I had no idea it would be so much; I won't pay it.

Peter Venkman Well, that's all right. We can just put it right back in there.

Ray Stantz Yeah, we certainly can, Dr. Venkman.

Hotel Manager No, no, no, no! All right. Anything.

Peter Venkman Thank you.

[smiling]

Ray Stantz Thank you. Hope we can help you again. Coming through! One Class-5 full-roaming vapor. Move em out!

[to the hotel guests]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Neighbors

Understanding Women from Different Perspectives

Vic Believe me, I know women - upside down and backwards, which is not a bad way to know em, huh?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Great Outdoors

Gourmet Food Expectations and Reality

Roman Craig You know what the gourmet here wanted? Hot dogs! You know what they're made of, Chet? Huh? Lips and assholes!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

North

Welcoming a New Son with Humor

Ma Tex We'd like you show you how much we're looking forward to having you as our new son. Ready, Pa?

[to North]

Pa Tex Ready, Ma!

Ma Tex We had a son who was trampled by a ton of longhorns, but you're very cute to fill his boots as flat as they may be.

[singing]

Pa Tex You'll yell "yippee-yi=yo" with the rodeo til the day's done.

[singing]

Ma Tex Then you'll make a lot of pals with buffalo gals.

[singing]

Pa Tex Just leave some for me!

[whispering]

Ma Tex Hey, there!

Ma Tex, Pa Tex We'll barbecue steaks and stew, feed you pumpkin pie, til your can's bigger than the big ol Texas sky!

[singing with a chorus]

Ma Tex You'll grow tall and play football, be famous!

[singing]

Pa Tex You'll grow more, own a chain of stores, marry Betty Lou!

[singing]

Ma Tex, Pa Tex Oh, North, North! Grow more!

[singing with a chorus]

Pa Tex Nother rib, son?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Neighbors

Choosing to leave the dead zone behind

Vic Stay here on the outer limits of the dead zone? Nothing personal, but life at the end of the road just ain't for Captain Vic and Empress Ramona. Sorry, folks, but you can color us gone.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Driving Miss Daisy

A Delicate Situation of Aging

Boolie Werthan What I need is for somebody to drive my mother around.

Hoke Colburn Well, if you don mind my askin', sir—how come she's not hirin for herself?

Boolie Werthan See, it's kind of a delicate situation.

Hoke Colburn Oh, yessir, yessir...done gone around the bend a little bit. Well, now, that'll happen as they get old...

Boolie Werthan Oh, no, she's all there. Too-much-there is the problem!

[Hoke laughs]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Blues Brothers

Unity in Diversity

Elwood Blues We're so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight. And we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois's law enforcement community who have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time. We do sincerely hope you all enjoy the show. And please remember, people, that no matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive, there are still some things that make us all the same. You. Me. Them. Everybody. Everybody.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Spies Like Us

Miscommunication in a Crisis Situation

Austin Millbarge Find a rock! Go the SatScram terminal! Smash that thing!

Emmett Fitz-Hume It's broken.

[Fitz-Hume smashes terminal]

Austin Millbarge Bring it here.

Austin Millbarge Not the rock.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Spies Like Us

Countdown to Catastrophe and Dark Humor

Austin Millbarge They're saying it'll be 28 minutes before the rocket detonates above it's target, somewhere inside the continental United States. Let's see, 28 minutes, that's 18 until it's inside the US radar cup, figure 2 for our response, say 20 until total commitment, I figure, 20-22 until the first impact of our retaliatory strike. I figure we have 42 minutes until the end of civilization as we know it.

Emmett Fitz-Hume You uh - want to go out with a bang?

[to Karen]

Karen Boyer I beg your pardon?

Emmett Fitz-Hume It was just an idea.

Karen Boyer You know, if we were sitting in a bar, I'd throw a drink right in your face. But, under the circumstances, it's not such a bad idea.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Sneakers

Concealed technology and conspiracy theories discussed

Mother Okay, boss, this LTX-71 concealable mike is part of the same system that NASA used when they faked the Apollo Moon landings. They had the astronauts broadcast around the world from a sound stage at ] in ]. So it worked for them, shouldn't give us too many problems.

[[w:Norton Air Force Base|Norton Air Force Base; [w:San Bernardino, California|San Bernadino, California]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Neighbors

A Humorous Take on Unconventional Flavors

Vic Hey, Earl, want some of your daughter's panties? They come in four flavors; banana, peach, mint and, of course, CHERRY.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

50 First Dates

Humor and Concern in Medical Recovery

Dr. Keats Little Sammy Sosa's a bit shook up, but she'll be okay. She's watching the tape as we speak.

Henry Good. How's my temporal lobe lookin there, Doc?

Dr. Keats Don't worry. You're not gonna suffer any short term memory loss. But was your head shaped like an egg before she hit ya?

Doug Hey! Don't make fun of Henry, all right? It'th not hith fault hith head'th thaped like that!

Dr. Keats Note the intense overreaction. That's the roids talking. Douglas, once again, off the juice.

Doug It'th not juithe! It'th a protein thake!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Spies Like Us

Bathroom Timing Disagreement Between Friends

Austin Millbarge I gotta take a leak. You should go too.

[trying to speak alone with Fitz-Hume]

Emmett Fitz-Hume What are you my mother? Don't you think I'm capable of determining my own time to go to the bathroom?

Austin Millbarge So, isn't now one of those times?

Emmett Fitz-Hume No.

Austin Millbarge You mean you don't feel a certain degree of urgent pressure on the inner wall of your bladder, now, right at this moment?

Emmett Fitz-Hume No, I'm fine!

Austin Millbarge Well... wouldn't you feel more comfortable being fully relieved of any excess fluids that might be building up immediately, now?

Emmett Fitz-Hume I gotta take a wizz?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Driving Miss Daisy

A Farewell Wish from Boolie Werthan

Boolie Werthan Goodbye! Good luck! Good God.

[''Calling after Hoke as he drives away with Miss Daisy''; ''To himself'']

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

North

Unexpected Questions About the Easter Bunny

North What are you doing here?

Gabby Well, I finished all my chores, I thought I'd get a little shootin in.

North No, I mean, have you ever been an Easter Bunny?

Gabby Easter Bunny?

Pa Tex Careful, son, Gabby's killed men for less than that.

North Oh, sorry.

Gabby No harm done.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

1941

Safety Instructions for Handling Ordnance

Sgt. Frank Tree You shouldn't touch the ordnance at all. But more specifically, you should never pull this hand-operating lever to the rear.

Ward Douglas Never.

Sgt. Frank Tree Do not push a clip of ammunition down into the feed rollers here.

Ward Douglas No, sir, never.

Sgt. Frank Tree You never restore this lever to firing position. Do not make sure that this cover is completely closed.

Ward Douglas No, sir.

Sgt. Frank Tree Never depress operator's foot triggers here, here and at the rear here.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Sneakers

Breakthrough in Cryptography Explained

Liz Oh, my God.

[upon seeing the data for the Air Traffic Control System]

Mother How is this possible?

Whistler Cryptography systems are based on mathematical problems so complex they cannot be solved without a key.

Liz Jannek must have figured out a way to solve those problems without the key and he hard-wired it into that chip.

Crease Turn it off.

Whistler Anybody want to crash some passenger jets?

Crease I said turn it off.

Bishop Turn it off!

[shuts down computer]

Carl So, it's a code-breaker.

[contemplates]

Bishop No, it's The code-breaker. No more secrets.

[leaves]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Ghostbusters

The Consequences of Crossing the Streams

Egon Spengler Don't cross the streams.

Peter Venkman Why?

Egon Spengler It would be bad.

Peter Venkman I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad"?

Egon Spengler Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously, and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.

Ray Stantz Total protonic reversal.

[shocked gasp]

Peter Venkman Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Ghostbusters

Exterminators Encounter a Skeptical Hotel Guest

Hotel Guest What are you supposed to be, some kind of a cosmonaut?

Peter Venkman No, we're exterminators. Somebody saw a cockroach up on 12th.

[chuckles]

Hotel Guest That's gotta be some cockroach.

Peter Venkman Bite your head off, man.

Ray Stantz Going up?

Hotel Guest (No, thanks.) I'll take the next one.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Spies Like Us

Questioning Their Actions

Emmett Fitz-Hume What did she say?

[after launching the missile]

Austin Millbarge She wants to know why we'd do such a thing.

Emmett Fitz-Hume Tell her so do we.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Spies Like Us

Seeking a Plan Amidst Chaos

Austin Millbarge We need a plan.

Emmett Fitz-Hume Let's play dead.

Austin Millbarge Show some balls, man!

Emmett Fitz-Hume I think it's too late to try and impress them. Alright; Stop right there... and I'll bring back the sun. Okay... This is my sister. You can all have her. I hear she's very good.

[beat; Fitz-Hume shows a picture from his wallet]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Trading Places

Harvard Tie and Class Distinctions

Louis Winthorpe III He was wearing my Harvard tie. Can you believe it? MY Harvard tie. Like oh, sure, HE went to Harvard.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Spies Like Us

Miscommunication in a Foreign Language

Emmett Fitz-Hume What's she saying?

Austin Millbarge H... hair... hairbrush... headrest...

Emmett Fitz-Hume Jesus, where did you learn your Russian? ]?

[[w:JCPenney|JCPenney]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Neighbors

A Dispute Over Culinary Jealousy

Vic In light of Earl's feelings, I think it would be best if we left.

Enid Keese Oh, no, no. Sit down, sit down. Let's finish this magnificent meat. Don't worry about Earl. He'll get over his feelings.

Vic He spurned my sauce!

Enid Keese No, he loves your sauce. He's just jealous, he can't cook.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Neighbors

Request to go to the swamp

Vic We'll get your jacket later. Right now, take me to THE SWAMP.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Blues Brothers 2000

Musical Limitations of the Blues Brothers

Elwood Blues Uh, is there anything in particular you would like to hear this evening, your highness?

Queen Moussette Yes. Do something Caribbean.

Elwood Blues Uh, ma'am, we're the Blues Brothers. We do blues, rhythm and blues, jazz, funk, soul, we can handle rock, pop, country, heavy metal, fusion, hip hop, rap, Motown, operetta, show tunes, in fact, we've even been called upon, on occasion, to do a polka. However, Caribbean is a type of music, I regret to say, which has not been, is simply not, nor will ever be a part of this band's repertoire.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Driving Miss Daisy

Calm Assurance in Uncertain Times

Boolie Werthan Don't worry, Katie Bell, it's not quite the end of the world.

[after Florene storms out when Katie Bell makes a mistake]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Spies Like Us

Struggles in Finding Opportunities

Austin Millbarge It's... "]" by the ].

[Faint music plays in the distance by the missile; [w:Soul Finger|Soul Finger; [w:Bar-Kays|Bar-Kays]

Emmett Fitz-Hume They must be havin a hard time getting gigs.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

50 First Dates

Memory Loss and Short-Term Challenges

Dr. Keats Tom lost part of his brain in a hunting accident. His memory only lasts ten seconds.

Ten Second Tom I was in an accident? That's terrible.

Dr. Keats Don't worry, you're totally gonna get over it in about three seconds.

Ten Second Tom Get over it? I mean, what happened? Did I get shot in the brain... Hi. I'm Tom.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Ghostbusters II

Judgment in Court for Ghostbusters Team

Judge Wexler Peter Venkman, Raymond Stantz, Egon Spengler...stand up! Get up!

Judge Wexler You too, Mr. Tully. I find you guilty on all charges! I order you to pay fines in the amount of $25,000 each! I sentence you to eighteen months in the city correctional facility at Rikers Island!

[looks at Louis; Louis stands up; reads his verdict; the jar of slime bubbles, Ray sees it; pounds his gavel]

Ray Stantz Eggy! She's twitching!

[to Egon]

Judge Wexler I'M NOT FINISHED! On a more personal note, let just me go on record as saying that there is no place for fakes, charlatans-

Egon Spengler Uh, Your Honor?

Judge Wexler Shut up! And tricksters like you in decent society!

Ray Stantz Your Honor!

[interrupting]

Peter Venkman Your Honor, this is very important-!

[interrupting with Ray]

Judge Wexler You prey upon the gullibility of innocent people!

Ray Stantz Yes, sir.

Judge Wexler Be quiet!

Ray Stantz But-

[points to the jar]

Judge Wexler And believe me, if my hands were not tied by the unalterable fetters of the law! And I would indulge in the tradition of our illustrious forbears! Reach back, to a purer, sterner justice... ...and have you BURNED AT THE STAKE!

[slime rapidly overflows over the exhibit table; Peter, Ray, Egon and Louis begins to hide under the table]

Ray Stantz Wow!

Judge Wexler Oh my God, the Scoleri brothers! The Scoleri brothers!

[aghast; the ghouls lunge; he jumps over his bench and dives under the trio's table]

Ray Stantz Friends of yours?

Judge Wexler I tried them for murder! Gave them the chair! You gotta do something!

[one brother seeks out the group and spots them hiding]

Egon Spengler Why don't you tell them you don't believe in ghosts?

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Spies Like Us

Understanding a New Term in Conversation

Emmett Fitz-Hume Did you hear that?

Austin Millbarge Yeah. It's a dickfer.

Emmett Fitz-Hume What's a dickfer?

Austin Millbarge To pee with.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Neighbors

Reflections on Relationships and Reality

Vic We might have a wonderful relationship. But then, as Arthur Bremer once said: "How many things go right in this crazy world?

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Spies Like Us

Reflection on Time and Consequences

Austin Millbarge Hard to believe its been only 15 minutes since I destroyed the world. In another 15 minutes, it'll all be over. Such a short time to destroy a world. And to think my high school guidance counselor said I'd never amount to anything.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Neighbors

Confrontation Over Boundaries in the Home

Vic We're waiting, or do I have to pound it out of you?

Earl Keese Don't ever speak to me like that in my own house!

Vic Why would I?

Earl Keese You just did.

Vic I didn't mean anything - it's just something a guy says.

Earl Keese I never say it.

Vic I don't blame you.

Spies Like Us

Unexpected Intelligence in Unlikely Places

Austin Millbarge They do seem to be headed in that general direction. Maybe your dick's not so dumb.

Emmett Fitz-Hume It got me through high school.

Coneheads

Understanding the Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable

Beldar An owner's manual to a Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable.

Highmaster Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable?

Beldar A personal conveyance named after its inventor, an assassinated ruler, a character from Greco-Roman myth, and a small furry mammal.

Highmaster Ah.

Spies Like Us

Concerns About Dangerous Creatures

Austin Millbarge For once I'm completely in agreement with my partner. I'm not going down there. Do you know what those things can do? Suck the paint off your house and give your family a permanent orange afro.

Driving Miss Daisy

A Morning Conversation Among Friends

Hoke Colburn Morning, Miss Daisy. I think it's gettin ready to clear up out there! Oh, scuse me, Mr. Werthan!

Boolie Werthan Hoke, I think we're gonna have to have a little talk.

Hoke Colburn All right, sir. Just let me get outta my coat. Oh, Miss Daisy, yesterday, while you were out visitin', I went and ate a can of your salmon. Now, I know you said eat the left-over pork chops, but they was kinda stiff! So, I stopped at the Piggly Wiggly and got you another can. You want me just to go on and put it in the cupboard?

[pauses, then turns to Daisy]

Daisy Werthan Yes, that'll be fine... thank you, Hoke. Well, I guess I'd better get dressed now!

[embarrassed]

Coneheads

Lunch Break Announcement

Beldar It is time for mid-day cessation of activities for carbo-protein intake.

Otto Yeah, sure. Take a lunch break.

Spies Like Us

Decoding Complex Communications in Spies Like Us

Captain Hefling What about that red Chinese radio chatter?

Austin Millbarge It's done. Here you go.

Captain Hefling Done? That was a static-filled triple-scrambled microwave transmission between two soldiers talking in Mandarin Chinese!

Austin Millbarge Well the Chinese were only using a simple polyphonetically-grouped twenty-square-digit key transposed from boustrophedonic form with multiple nulls. I broke it with this.

Captain Hefling A Drogan's decoder wheel? They put these things into cereal boxes... for kids!

Austin Millbarge Yeah, I found it in a box of ].

[[w:Lucky charms|Lucky charms]

Captain Hefling Break it down again with the machines!

Austin Millbarge I already did.

Captain Hefling Well... Then clean up your desk!

Ghostbusters II

Urgency and Humor Amidst the Chaos

Dr. Egon Spengler We're running out of time, Ray, it's almost midnight. Can't you make her go any faster?

Ray Stantz I'm afraid the vibrations will shake her to pieces. We should have padded her feet!

Egon I don't think they make Nikes in her size, Ray.

Dr. Peter Venkman Don't worry, she's tough. She's a harbor chick!

Ray Sorry, my fault!

Driving Miss Daisy

Challenges of Visiting an Elderly Loved One

Boolie Werthan I suppose you don't get out to see her very much.

Hoke Colburn No, sir, I don't... it's hard not drivin Miss Werthan anymore. Every now and then I takes a taxi cab, but don't too many taxis go out yonder.

Booile Werthan I'm sure she appreciates it.

Hoke Colburn Yes, sir. Some days, she better than others... but then, who ain't?

[pauses]

Sneakers

Miscommunication and Tension Among Characters

Crease Don't tell me you can't do it because I know you can. And don't tell me you won't do it because I've got to have it. I need to know, and I need to know now.

Mother Guys, that federal building's been scheduled for demolition since August. Housed the ] and Department of Agriculture. Been vacant for a month.

[[w:Federal Trade Commission|Federal Trade Commission]

Carl The NSA never had an office in San Francisco. Their West Coast operations are out of Los Angeles.

[checks out the Yellow Pages]

Crease Oh, God. Yeah, thanks. Jannek's grant is from the NSA. How could you be so goddamn stupid?!? Two guys show up, say they're government, and you just buy it.

[shocked; hangs up; throws phone in disgust; to Marty]

Whistler They probably were government - just not ours.

[everybody looks at him]

Bishop Everybody pack up whatever you can. This place isn't safe.

[gets revolver]

Mother What are you doing?

Bishop I'm going to a concert.

Ghostbusters

Encountering the Unseen in the Library

Librarian Alice I don't remember seeing any legs, but it definitely had arms, because it reached out for me.

Ray Stantz Arms? I can't wait to get a look at this thing!

[happily]

Peter Venkman Alice, I'm going to ask you a couple of standard questions, okay? Have you or any of your family been diagnosed schizophrenic? Mentally incompetent?

Librarian Alice My uncle thought he was St. Jerome.

Peter Venkman I'd call that a big yes. Uh, are you habitually using drugs, stimulants, alcohol?

Librarian Alice No.

Peter Venkman No, no. Just asking. Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?

Library Administrator (What?) What has that got to do with it?

[disturbed]

Peter Venkman Back off, man. I'm a scientist.

Sneakers

Divided Motivations in a High-Stakes Situation

Bishop The probable level of security is very low. But if you guys don't want to take that chance just to keep me out of jail, fine, I understand, I'll do it.

Whistler Well, Bish, I can't speak for the other guys, but I'm in it for the money, I don't care if you go to jail.

Carl Me neither. I'm in.

Mother Uh... could we maybe just go back to the "they might kill us" part?

Bishop Mother, if I thought that was likely to happen, I wouldn't bring this to you. But there is a risk.

Whistler And it pays $175,000!

Mother I'm in.

Crease You guys will be chalk outlines without me. All right, what do we need?

Spies Like Us

Repetitive Greetings Among Characters

Dr. Imhaus Doctor.

Austin Millbarge Doctor.

Dr. Imhaus Doctor.

Emmett Fitz-Hume Doctor.

Dr. Marston Doctor.

Austin Millbarge Doctor.

Dr. Marston Doctor.

Emmett Fitz-Hume Doctor.

Karen Boyer Doctor.

Austin Millbarge Doctor.

Karen Boyer Doctor.

Emmett Fitz-Hume Doctor!

[amorously]

Jerry Hadley Doctor.

Austin Millbarge Doctor.

Jerry Hadley Doctor.

Emmett Fitz-Hume And...Doctor.

Austin Millbarge We're not doctors.

Neighbors

Discussion of Baby's Behavior and Care

Vic Old Earl here was worried about Baby.

Enid Keese Oh, he's no trouble at all. He's a perfect gentleman. You can leave him with me anytime you want.

Vic Don't worry, I will.

Enid Keese They spoil him awfully.

[to Earl]

Vic Well, I want him to have every advantage I was denied as a young dog.

Spies Like Us

Understanding and Mockery in Human Nature

Austin Millbarge We mock what we don't understand.

[Arguing surgical techniques) with a doctor]

Spies Like Us

Curiosity Meets Caution in Unexpected Exchange

Emmett Fitz-Hume Hey! What's this?

[catches a grenade]

Austin Millbarge You don't want it!

Coneheads

Discussion of Social Security Status

Otto Beldar, you tryin to tell me you don't got a social security number?

Beldar Correct.

Otto Why not?

Beldar I am an illegal alien.

Otto I knew you were too good to be true! Every time I make some money, this happens!

Sneakers

Clarifying the Fate of a Character

Crease Now what are you saying, the ] killed ]?

[[w:National Security Agency|NSA; [John F. Kennedy|Kennedy]

Mother No, they shot him but they didn't kill him. He's still alive.

Coneheads

Uncomfortable Compliments in Formal Attire

Beldar You look handsome, yet uncomfortable in your pubescent ceremonial garb.

Ronnie Yeah... You mean my tux, right?

Spies Like Us

Questioning the Identity of the Characters

Austin Millbarge They aren't doctors.

Emmett Fitz-Hume What do you mean?

Austin Millbarge That metal case she was packing on her horse.

Emmett Fitz-Hume Well, what about it?

Austin Millbarge It's a Sat Scrambler Terminal - sophisticated system for sending, scrambling, receiving and unscrambling satellite messages.

Emmett Fitz-Hume So, she's a sophisticated woman.

Austin Millbarge It's a highly classified piece of intelligence hardware.

Emmett Fitz-Hume So, she's a high class, intelligent piece!

Memorable Quotes from Dan Aykroyd

find it. watch it.