Memorable Quotes from Dave Chappelle
17 quotesThe Complex Meaning of "Good
Conspiracy Brother
Let me tell you something about the word "good", brother. "Good" is an ancient Anglo-Saxon word "Go-od" meaning "absence of colour", i.e. "It's all Good" which it is, or "Good Will Hunting", meaning, "I'm hunting niggers". So when you say "Good Morning" to me, what you're really saying is "I'm going to kill your black ass first thing in the morning"!
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Distrust in Cultural Origins of Food
Conspiracy Brother
I never trusted that ]. Slaves cooked that chicken! Ain't no white man know about no sixteen herbs and spices and giblets!
[[w:Colonel Sanders|Colonel]
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Theft of Innovation in Technology Commentary
Conspiracy Brother
The computer! Another idea stolen from the black man!
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Hostility and Self-Reflection in a Cab
Disco Cabbie
Uh, I'm sensing a lot of hostility coming from the back seat.
[Ellie is riding with Disco Cabbie complaining about finding Kevin with Lucy]
Ellie
Oh, really? That's very astute.
Disco Cabbie
Well, that's not good for me, man. That kind of energy damages the plush interior of my cab, right? And you're blowing a $5.00 high, mama. You need to find yourself a man who's secure enough to appreciate you for the superior woman that you are. I like a strong woman.
Ellie
Oh... yeah. Mm-hmm.
Disco Cabbie
And you are a strong woman. If I was you, I would pull over with me and celebrate our strength together. What do you think about that, baby?
Ellie
This corner's great. This corner's fantastic for me.
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Unexpected Encounter with Macy Gray
Conspiracy Brother
Oh, shit! It's Macy Grey with pork chop sideburns!
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Unexpected Reactions to a Surprising Situation
Sistah Girl
What the hell?
The Chief
What the hell?
Conspiracy Brother
What the f...
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Fat Jokes and Stage Confrontation
Buddy Love
Ok, fat jokes! You wanna do fat jokes? Alright! Your mother's so fat, the bitch needs Thomas Guide to find her asshole! Alright! Wait, wait, wait, your mother's so fat, after sex I roll over twice, and I'm still on the bitch! Your mother is so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck! Reggie's mother's so fat, that the bitch gets her toenails painted at Earl Scheib! Earl Scheib! At Earl Scheib! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
[walks onto the stage, still laughing hysterically]
Reggie Warrington
Hey, hey, get off the stage, man! You ain't in show business.
Buddy Love
Reggie's mama is so fat, her blood type is Rocky Road! His mother is so fat, her belt size is Equator. Get it, equator. Let's give a big round of applause for Reggie's mama's ass, that brought us so much joy tonight. That's a big ass!
Reggie Warrington
ENOUGH! SILENCE! I can't take this shit no more! Now you done talked about me enough, boy! I tried to be peaceful, but now it's time for Reggie to "Karatacize" your ass!
Buddy Love
Whooooo!
Reggie Warrington
Aw yeah.
Buddy Love
Oh, Reggie! I've heard of "Dreadlocks", but "Shitlocks"?! That's not your hair! Take that pile of shit off your head, man! You’re craz- you just go too far with the comedy!
Reggie Warrington
Come on! Come on!
[karate yells]
Buddy Love
What’s that?
Buddy Love
What style is that?
Buddy Love
Oh shit.
Buddy Love
Well, come on with it.
Buddy Love
Ladies and gentlemen, me and Reggie wanna send one out to a very special lady in the house tonight! Loving you, is easy ‘cause you're beautiful! Do-do-do-do-do! Reggie?
[to Carla Purdy]
Buddy Love
That was pretty! Ladies and gentlemen, Reggie has left the building! Thank you, and good night!
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Exploring the Power of the Button
Conspiracy Brother
Atomic core", eh? Let's see what this so-called button does.
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Perceptions of Beauty and Gender Identity
Disco Cabbie
One of the ugliest bitches I've ever seen in my life rolled up, and I'm not one to call women ugly, but I think this woman was, because she had a penis.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conspiracy Brother's Unexpected Declaration
Conspiracy Brother
Gimme a pillow case. I'm joinin the Klan!
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Humorous Expression of Surprise
Conspiracy Brother
Oooh, right up the pooper!
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Humorous Banter Under the Full Moon
Reggie Warrington
Whoo-whoo! It's a full moon tonight! I think I found where they hid Jimmy Hoffa!
Sherman Klump
Yeah! Yeah, that's a good one there.
[pretending to laugh]
Reggie Warrington
Oh boy, you got more crack than Harlem! Boy's so fat, every time I turn around, it's his birthday! Boy, you gotta put a belt on with a boomerang!
Sherman Klump
Okay, now, alright! That's it, got me!
Reggie Warrington
Oh no. No, I ain't got you yet! Should I get him? SHOULD I GET HIM?! Oh, look at this, he with a woman too! Oh, no! Who's sucking whose titties over here?! Last time he got a breast, it was in a bucket of KFC! Extra Krispy! Every time he goes to Sea World, they tame him! He must be on that new diet, Slim Slow! He go outside with a red shirt on, all the kids in the neighborhood shout "Hey! Kool Aid!" Yeah, man! I bet I cut his fat ass open, he'll bleed chocolate milk! What would you do for a Klondike bar?! Now we know what's been eating Gilbert Grape, don't we?!
[crowd cheers; crowd cheers again; crowd roars with laughter]
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Conspiracy Brother Reacts to Gunshot Incident
Conspiracy Brother
Hey, look out, black man, he's got a gun! (gunshot) I'm hit, but my vest caught it, bitch!
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Notable Figures and Their Racial Identity
Conspiracy Brother
Jesus Christ, black man. Babe Ruth, black man. Madonna... sleeps with black men.
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Changing Outfits in Robin Hood Parody
Ahchoo
Let's get out of this ladies clothing and get into our tights!
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The Baddest in Show Business
Disco Cabbie
If you remember anything that I tell you, remember this: ] is the baddest motherfucker in show business.
[[James Brown]
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New Year's Eve Revelry and Chaos
Disco Cabbie
Everybody's having fun out here. They drinking, they fighting, they pissing on the streets. It's New Year's Eve. They loving the ladies.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.