Memorable Quotes from Dave Thomas
18 quotesVacationing During the War: A Unique Perspective
Doug McKenzie
Psst, act! Act!
[directing Bob]
Bob McKenzie
Lucky for me, I'd been off planet - on vacation at the time of the war, eh. There wasn't much to do. All the bowling alleys had been wrecked. So's I spent most of my time looking for beer.
[voice-over]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Encounter with a Fleshy-Headed Mutant
Bob McKenzie
Fleshy-headed mutant. Are you friendly?
Doug McKenzie
No way, eh? Ra-... radiation has made... me an enemy of civilization.
Bob McKenzie
Alpha Base. This is Bob McKenzie. I've spotted a fleshy-headed mutant in sector 16B.
[into a comm unit]
Doug McKenzie
Ahhh! Take off, you hoser.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Comical Take on Awkward Romance
Doug McKenzie
If I didn't have puke breath, I'd kiss you.
[to Pam]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Importance of Following Maintenance Guidelines
Doug McKenzie
See, if you'd stick to your 12-point maintinence program, eh, then we wouldn't have to jump-start you like this. Oh, no, you had to do it your way... you think you know everything, eh?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontational Threat in Strange Brew
Doug McKenzie
Don't make me steamroll you. Steamroller!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Discovery in a Beer Bottle
Doug McKenzie
Yeah. OK, well, uh, we found, uh, this mouse in a bottle of YOUR BEER, eh. Like, we was at a party and, uh, a friend of ours - a COP - had some, and HE PUKED. And he said, uh, come here and get free beer or, uh, he'll press charges.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desperate Urgency for Relief
Doug McKenzie
I gotta take a leak so bad, I can taste it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Conversation on Writing and Beliefs
Highmaster
Let it be written... are you writing this?
Ronnie
Whoa! My mother is the only one who could take a sandwich like that.
[seeing Connie eat]
Gorman Seedling
You just can't talk religion with some people!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Marriage Announcement in Courtroom
Bob McKenzie
I do.
[in court, after being sworn in]
Doug McKenzie
I do.
Bob McKenzie
I guess we're married, clerk.
Doug McKenzie
Oh.
Bob McKenzie
Where's the honeymoon?
The Judge
Order, Order!
Bob McKenzie
Gimmie a toasted back bacon, hold the toast.
Doug McKenzie
Don't make me laugh, eh.
The Judge
I remind you not to speak, until you are spoken to!
Bob McKenzie
He's startin to sound like the old man. Soon he'll be sending me out for beers.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Twist on Jedi References
Doug McKenzie
I am your father, Luke. Give in to the dark side of the force, you knob.
Bob McKenzie
He saw Jedi 17 times, eh.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Force and Its Unexpected Influence
Doug McKenzie
The power of The Force stopped you, you hosers.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Conversation on Crime and Choices
Doug McKenzie
Chimp here does the killin'. I don't like to kill. I'm the brains, eh? Like, we got over five billion dollars in our hideout, only some of the money's marked, eh, so we're not spendin it. We's just waitin'.
[to the rough-looking convicts in their jail cell]
Bald con
Youse guys like a smoke?
Doug McKenzie
No, eh? We want our lungs to be pink when they fry us. Hey, we told em we didn't want a lawyer. Chimp here probably just kill him anyway. Lawyers are for sucks.
[scoffs]
Bailiff
Hey, McKenzie brothers. Your lawyer is here.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Call to Action
Doug McKenzie
Take off, you hoser.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tech Troubles and Brotherly Banter
Doug McKenzie
Figures you wouldn't know how to work it if it's got a computer.
Bob McKenzie
Oh yeah, Mister Wizard, you know, eh...
Doug McKenzie
Let me try, I'm a genius.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Request for Compensation Over Beer Contamination
Doug McKenzie
Hey, we found a dead mouse in our beer, eh? That means you owe us a free case.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Self-Proclaimed Genius's Confidence
Doug McKenzie
Let me try, I'm a genius.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding the Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable
Beldar
An owner's manual to a Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable.
Highmaster
Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable?
Beldar
A personal conveyance named after its inventor, an assassinated ruler, a character from Greco-Roman myth, and a small furry mammal.
Highmaster
Ah.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Panic Over Missing Bird and Police Arrival
Sam Sleaze
Hey, what's that noise? It's the cops!
[looks behind the truck seeing the state trooper swinging his arm at him signaling him to pull over]
Sid Sleaze
Sam! The bird's gone! The bird's gone! The bird's gone.
[points at the cage and Sam looks at it; sobs]
Sam Sleaze
Get a grip on yourself. will ya? Just try to relax. I'll take care of everything. Whatever you do, don't cry.
[stops the truck]
State Trooper
Are these the two men?
[to the kid]
Sam Sleaze
What's seems to be the problem, officer? What's the charge?
State Trooper
What about counterfeiting, extortion, fraud, impersonating a dentist, stealing an apple from a kid?
[looks through his notebook]
Sam Sleaze
Oh, that apple, officer, I can explain that. We was just holding it for a friend.
Sid Sleaze
Yeah, for a friend.
State Trooper
You can tell that to the judge.
Sid Sleaze
The judge!
[sobbing]
State Trooper
Be a man.
[annoyed]
Sid Sleaze
I don't want to be a man. Sam!
Sam Sleaze
Shut up, Sid! Shut up!
Sid Sleaze
Judge, Sam! Jail!
[Sobbing]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.