Strange Brew - Tech Troubles and Brotherly Banter
Doug McKenzie:
Figures you wouldn't know how to work it if it's got a computer.
Bob McKenzie:
Oh yeah, Mister Wizard, you know, eh...
Doug McKenzie:
Let me try, I'm a genius.
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Strange Brew - Encounter with a Fleshy-Headed Mutant
Bob McKenzie:
Fleshy-headed mutant. Are you friendly?
Doug McKenzie:
No way, eh? Ra-... radiation has made... me an enemy of civilization.
Bob McKenzie: [into a comm unit]
Alpha Base. This is Bob McKenzie. I've spotted a fleshy-headed mutant in sector 16B.
Doug McKenzie:
Ahhh! Take off, you hoser.
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Strange Brew - Unexpected Marriage Announcement in Courtroom
Bob McKenzie: [in court, after being sworn in]
I do.
Doug McKenzie:
I do.
Bob McKenzie:
I guess we're married, clerk.
Doug McKenzie:
Oh.
Bob McKenzie:
Where's the honeymoon?
The Judge:
Order, Order!
Bob McKenzie:
Gimmie a toasted back bacon, hold the toast.
Doug McKenzie:
Don't make me laugh, eh.
The Judge:
I remind you not to speak, until you are spoken to!
Bob McKenzie:
He's startin to sound like the old man. Soon he'll be sending me out for beers.
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Strange Brew - A Conversation on Crime and Choices
Doug McKenzie: [to the rough-looking convicts in their jail cell]
Chimp here does the killin'. I don't like to kill. I'm the brains, eh? Like, we got over five billion dollars in our hideout, only some of the money's marked, eh, so we're not spendin it. We's just waitin'.
Bald con:
Youse guys like a smoke?
Doug McKenzie: [scoffs]
No, eh? We want our lungs to be pink when they fry us. Hey, we told em we didn't want a lawyer. Chimp here probably just kill him anyway. Lawyers are for sucks.
Bailiff:
Hey, McKenzie brothers. Your lawyer is here.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Strange Brew - Vacationing During the War: A Unique Perspective
Doug McKenzie: [directing Bob]
Psst, act! Act!
Bob McKenzie: [voice-over]
Lucky for me, I'd been off planet - on vacation at the time of the war, eh. There wasn't much to do. All the bowling alleys had been wrecked. So's I spent most of my time looking for beer.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Strange Brew - A Humorous Twist on Jedi References
Doug McKenzie:
I am your father, Luke. Give in to the dark side of the force, you knob.
Bob McKenzie:
He saw Jedi 17 times, eh.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Strange Brew - Confrontational Threat in Strange Brew
Doug McKenzie:
Don't make me steamroll you. Steamroller!
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Strange Brew - Importance of Following Maintenance Guidelines
Doug McKenzie:
See, if you'd stick to your 12-point maintinence program, eh, then we wouldn't have to jump-start you like this. Oh, no, you had to do it your way... you think you know everything, eh?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Strange Brew - The Force and Its Unexpected Influence
Doug McKenzie:
The power of The Force stopped you, you hosers.
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Strange Brew - A Comical Take on Awkward Romance
Doug McKenzie: [to Pam]
If I didn't have puke breath, I'd kiss you.
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Strange Brew - Desperate Urgency for Relief
Doug McKenzie:
I gotta take a leak so bad, I can taste it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Strange Brew - Unexpected Discovery in a Beer Bottle
Doug McKenzie:
Yeah. OK, well, uh, we found, uh, this mouse in a bottle of YOUR BEER, eh. Like, we was at a party and, uh, a friend of ours - a COP - had some, and HE PUKED. And he said, uh, come here and get free beer or, uh, he'll press charges.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Strange Brew - Request for Compensation Over Beer Contamination
Doug McKenzie:
Hey, we found a dead mouse in our beer, eh? That means you owe us a free case.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Strange Brew - A Self-Proclaimed Genius's Confidence
Doug McKenzie:
Let me try, I'm a genius.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Strange Brew - A Humorous Call to Action
Doug McKenzie:
Take off, you hoser.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Follow That Bird - Panic Over Missing Bird and Police Arrival
Sam Sleaze: [looks behind the truck seeing the state trooper swinging his arm at him signaling him to pull over]
Hey, what's that noise? It's the cops!
Sid Sleaze: [points at the cage and Sam looks at it; sobs]
Sam! The bird's gone! The bird's gone! The bird's gone.
Sam Sleaze: [stops the truck]
Get a grip on yourself. will ya? Just try to relax. I'll take care of everything. Whatever you do, don't cry.
State Trooper: [to the kid]
Are these the two men?
Sam Sleaze:
What's seems to be the problem, officer? What's the charge?
State Trooper: [looks through his notebook]
What about counterfeiting, extortion, fraud, impersonating a dentist, stealing an apple from a kid?
Sam Sleaze:
Oh, that apple, officer, I can explain that. We was just holding it for a friend.
Sid Sleaze:
Yeah, for a friend.
State Trooper:
You can tell that to the judge.
Sid Sleaze: [sobbing]
The judge!
State Trooper: [annoyed]
Be a man.
Sid Sleaze:
I don't want to be a man. Sam!
Sam Sleaze:
Shut up, Sid! Shut up!
Sid Sleaze: [Sobbing]
Judge, Sam! Jail!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Coneheads - Understanding the Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable
Beldar:
An owner's manual to a Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable.
Highmaster:
Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable?
Beldar:
A personal conveyance named after its inventor, an assassinated ruler, a character from Greco-Roman myth, and a small furry mammal.
Highmaster:
Ah.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Coneheads - A Conversation on Writing and Beliefs
Highmaster:
Let it be written... are you writing this?
Ronnie: [seeing Connie eat]
Whoa! My mother is the only one who could take a sandwich like that.
Gorman Seedling:
You just can't talk religion with some people!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.