David Paymer Quotes

Nessa This shrink school you went to, did you hear about it in an infomercial?

Lilly I watched 20/20, it was shocking! Did you know the government is wasteful?

Martin Brocket Have you come across a bigger shithead than my stepfather?

Althea Brockett Why do I feel so elated? Am I in denial? You know what this feels like? I know my time's up, but I've got to get this out while I've got a hold of it! ... When I was in high school the thing I wanted most when I was stuck in class, the thing that I was desperately in pursuit of, was a hall pass. That's all I ever wanted. I loved moving freely around the school while everybody else was trapped in there. That's how I feel right now. Like I have some giant all day hall pass.

Skip Skipperton I may be young, but Doc can tell you — I'm very immature.

Dr. Ernest Delbanco No one can escape the fear of death. It is, as ] put it, "the worm at the core," and try as we may to forget or ignore our own mortality, the skull will grin in at the banquet.

Dick Goodwin He told me this whole story about when a Jew is on the show, he always loses to a Gentile, and then the Gentile wins more money. I mean, who could dream up a scheme like that?

Dan Enright A symptom of his Van Doren fixation!

Dick Goodwin The thing of it is, I looked it up: it's true.

Walt Price How are we coming with the dead horse scene?

Marty Rossen You can't actually kill the horse.

Walt Price Aw, fuck me!

Marty Rossen I'm going to rip your heart out, then I'm going to piss on your lungs through the hole in your chest! And the best to Marian...

Dick Goodwin Dan, I have it on the kinescope, it's clear as day. The man literally did a double-take.

Dan Enright He did a double-take? And who told you this? Is this Herb again? Or is this the Greenwich Village Beatnik?

Dick Goodwin That's interesting, why is he a beatnik? Because he's not Charlie Van Doren?

Dan Enright Yeah, you're damn right he's not Charlie Van Doren. You know, you got these crackpots coming out of the woodwork, you're snooping around asking questions. You don't have a shred of concrete evidence.

Dick Goodwin Dan, let me tell you something. In this envelope are all the questions that James Snodgrass was asked on Twenty One. The odd thing about this envelope is that he appeared on the show January 13th, if you recall. Yet, he somehow mailed this to himself on January 11th via registered mail. I'd say that's pretty damn concrete, wouldn't you?

Herb Stempel Don't do this to me, it's humiliating.

Dan Enright For seventy grand, Herb, you can afford to be humiliated.

Marty Rossen Well, I'm gonna solve it here or this bimbo you sent me is gonna be doing a donkey act on public access television. Her tits her tits her tits her tits. That she signed in her contract! We hired her because of 10 years at the Actors Studio, the way she played ]? Her last two pictures lay there on the screen like my first wife.

Marty Rossen If your memory was as long as your dick, you'd be in good shape.