Revenge of the Nerds - Jocks Sent to Sleep in Gym
Dean Ulich:
You know, I am going to allow them to sleep in the Alpha Beta house until you guys repair all the damage you did to the Lambda Lambda Lambda house.
Stan:
What about us?
Burke:
Yeah, where are we gonna sleep?
Dean Ulich:
You're jocks. Go sleep in the gym.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Revenge of the Nerds - Understanding Campus Pranks and Mopery
Policeman:
I do not know what this world is coming to. Motions to a man in a trenchcoat See that man over there. We arrested him for mopery.
Gilbert:
What is that?
Policeman:
Mopery is exposing yourself to a blind person. I am sorry about your window, fellas, but regretfully it is out of our jurisdiction. This reeks of a campus prank and there is only one organization that can adjudicate on such matters.
Lewis:
What is that?
Policeman: [disdainful tone]
The Greek Council.
Dean Ulich:
Our next issue on the agenda, new membership. Earl, will you please admit the petitioners?
Ogre:
Kneel, gentlemen.
Dean Ulich:
You are the men who wish to form a fraternity?
Lewis:
Yes, we are.
Stan:
Well, gentlemen, I regret to inform to you that your application has been denied.
Dean Ulich:
I am afraid he is right. According to our rules you require a national fraternity as your sponsor.
Gilbert:
So all we need to do is get a sponsor and we are in?
Stan:
Right, so we will see you in about...twenty years!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Revenge of the Nerds - Debate Over Fire Cause and Responsibility
Stan:
Must have been a problem with the electrical wiring.
Dean Ulich:
That is not what the fire department thinks, Stan.
Coach Harris:
Dean Ulich, if my boys say it was faulty wiring, we have to believe them. Dean, I got a big game coming up and I don't want their minds to be worried about where they will sleep.
Dean Ulich:
Well, they should have thought of that before they burned their house down.
Coach Harris:
Hey, what's done is done. Now where?
Stan:
How about the freshmen dorm?
Dean Ulich:
What about the students currently residing there?
Stan:
OK guys, thanks to "faulty wiring" we have no place to stay.
Alpha Betas: [in unison]
Yeah!
Stan:
And those freshmen, freshmen, are sitting pretty in there!
Alpha Betas: [in unison]
Right!
Stan:
So as of this moment, the freshmen dorm is ours. Any room you want, take it! Break!
Ogre:
Don't come back!
Ogre:
There is your roommate, pal!
Dean Ulich: [through bullhorn]
If I may have everyone's attention please, we can make this move as easy as possible...
Coach Harris: [through bullhorn]
Now listen up men! I am going to see that each and every one of you is taken care of. You will be provided with the best possible food and accommodations. Now, go, go, go!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Hot Shots! Part Deux - Local Strategy for Combat and Recreation
Tug:
Here's the target area.
Gerou:
That's Minnesota, sir.
Tug:
Damn it, man, that's the genius of my plan. Why go over there to fight? We can do it right here at home, and get in some good fishing while we're at it.
Gerou:
Sir, the enemy is over there.
Tug:
Then we'll fly them over here. Their families too. We'll teach them to skate... Do I have to think of everything?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.