Memorable Quotes from David Wohl
4 quotesLocal Strategy for Combat and Recreation
Tug
Here's the target area.
Gerou
That's Minnesota, sir.
Tug
Damn it, man, that's the genius of my plan. Why go over there to fight? We can do it right here at home, and get in some good fishing while we're at it.
Gerou
Sir, the enemy is over there.
Tug
Then we'll fly them over here. Their families too. We'll teach them to skate... Do I have to think of everything?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debate Over Fire Cause and Responsibility
Stan
Must have been a problem with the electrical wiring.
Dean Ulich
That is not what the fire department thinks, Stan.
Coach Harris
Dean Ulich, if my boys say it was faulty wiring, we have to believe them. Dean, I got a big game coming up and I don't want their minds to be worried about where they will sleep.
Dean Ulich
Well, they should have thought of that before they burned their house down.
Coach Harris
Hey, what's done is done. Now where?
Stan
How about the freshmen dorm?
Dean Ulich
What about the students currently residing there?
Stan
OK guys, thanks to "faulty wiring" we have no place to stay.
Alpha Betas
Yeah!
[in unison]
Stan
And those freshmen, freshmen, are sitting pretty in there!
Alpha Betas
Right!
[in unison]
Stan
So as of this moment, the freshmen dorm is ours. Any room you want, take it! Break!
Ogre
Don't come back!
Ogre
There is your roommate, pal!
Dean Ulich
If I may have everyone's attention please, we can make this move as easy as possible...
[through bullhorn]
Coach Harris
Now listen up men! I am going to see that each and every one of you is taken care of. You will be provided with the best possible food and accommodations. Now, go, go, go!
[through bullhorn]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Jocks Sent to Sleep in Gym
Dean Ulich
You know, I am going to allow them to sleep in the Alpha Beta house until you guys repair all the damage you did to the Lambda Lambda Lambda house.
Stan
What about us?
Burke
Yeah, where are we gonna sleep?
Dean Ulich
You're jocks. Go sleep in the gym.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Campus Pranks and Mopery
Policeman
I do not know what this world is coming to. Motions to a man in a trenchcoat See that man over there. We arrested him for mopery.
Gilbert
What is that?
Policeman
Mopery is exposing yourself to a blind person. I am sorry about your window, fellas, but regretfully it is out of our jurisdiction. This reeks of a campus prank and there is only one organization that can adjudicate on such matters.
Lewis
What is that?
Policeman
The Greek Council.
[disdainful tone]
Dean Ulich
Our next issue on the agenda, new membership. Earl, will you please admit the petitioners?
Ogre
Kneel, gentlemen.
Dean Ulich
You are the men who wish to form a fraternity?
Lewis
Yes, we are.
Stan
Well, gentlemen, I regret to inform to you that your application has been denied.
Dean Ulich
I am afraid he is right. According to our rules you require a national fraternity as your sponsor.
Gilbert
So all we need to do is get a sponsor and we are in?
Stan
Right, so we will see you in about...twenty years!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.