Denis Leary Quotes

Gen. Morters Where's the microfilm, Mike?

Mike McCracken I don't know, I gave it to York. I thought she was one of your men.

Gen. Morters Act in haste, repent in leisure.

Mike McCracken But he who hesitates is lost.

Gen. Morters Never judge a book by its cover.

Mike McCracken What you see is what you get.

Gen. Morters Loose lips, sink ships.

Mike McCracken Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing or fighting, my friend.

Gen. Morters Sorry Mike, no good.

Gus You know what, lady? I'd like to tie you to the back of a fucking truck.

Rose You don't have the balls.

Lloyd Don't do it! It's not worth it.

Gus I fucking hate her, Lloyd!

Lloyd I know, I know.

Gus What is the matter with you? I thought mothers were sweet and nice a-a-and patient. I know loan sharks who are more forgiving than you. Your husband ain't dead, lady. He's hiding.

Mr. Beal Joshua, the pope is not God.

Joshua A. Beal I know that, but he's his best friend.

Mr. Beal We're not going to Rome.

Gus Do you know what this family needs? A mute.

Gus Is there a Murray there?

Bartender Is there a Murray here?

Bartender I don't think he's here, pal.

Gus See if there's a waste of fucking life named Murray, try that.

Bartender Is there a fucking waste of life named Murray here?

Murray Gussy? Yeah that's me.

Chief George Earle What will we do? How will we live?

Edgar Friendly I'll tell you what we're gonna do... we're gonna go out drinking, get shit-faced and paint the town literally; put up graffiti, slogans... it'll be a blast!

John Spartan Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm gonna tell you what you're gonna do: Why don't you get a little dirty... ...and you, a lot clean. And somewhere in the middle... I don't know, you'll figure it out.

Alfredo Garcia Fuckin A!

Spartan Well put.

Edgar Friendly You see, according to Cocteau's plan, I'm the enemy. Because I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy who likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs with the side order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and buckets of cheese, okay? I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I wanna run through the streets naked with green Jell-O all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal? I've seen the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Mayer Wiener." You live up top, you live Cocteau's way: what he wants, when he wants, how he wants. Your other choice: come down here... and maybe starve to death.

Gus From now on, the only person who gets to yell at is me. Why? Because I have a gun. People with guns get to do whatever they want. Married people without guns - for instance - you - DO NOT get to yell. Why? NO GUNS! No guns, no yelling. See? Simple little equation.

Gus Look kid... what I do, running around, stealing stuff, may sound great when you're 14 years old, but it sucks just a little bit when you're 35. No house, no family. I got a partner who's 56, alcoholic... he still can't understand why they took ] off the air. And then I got to turn on the TV every day and see kids like you, one after another on these talk shows. You got everything, opportunities up the ass, you got a family to come home to, and what do you do? You sit around, and you bitch and you moan, because things don't go your way. Well, you know what, kid? Welcome to the real world, where most times things don't go your fucking way.

Gus Caroline and Loyd will get the coffee and deserts, then we'll be opening presents.

Connie We can't open presents til midnight.

Gus Why not?

Connie Because it's not Christmas until midnight!

Gus We'll be changing the rules, a little bit. We are opening the presents now. Not later, now. Why? We're adults, and we can open our presents, WHENEVER WE WANT!

Gil Mars Y'know what I'm sick of? I'm sick of commercials that show us 4x4 trucks popping up to the top of ] and parking on top of ]'s head, okay? I'm sick of shampoo commercials that try to convince women that they can look like ] after one cycle of rinse and repeat. What if these toys could actually talk? What if they could walk? What if they could actually kick ass? I'm talking about toys that are so smart, when kids play with them, they play back. Toys, in short, gentlemen, that actually do what they do in the commercials.

Irwin Wayfair Well, that's an interesting idea.

Gil Mars Forget about this batteries-not-included crap. We're gonna stick in a lifetime Globotech lithium cell. Keep these things running forever. That'll piss off the guys at ].

Larry Benson Yeah. Hey, how's this for a slogan? "The Commando Elite: Anything else is just a toy.

Gil Mars Everything else is just a toy.

Larry Benson Th-That's good, too. Sure.

Irwin Wayfair Uh, sir? Uh, you know, that kind of, uh, computing power doesn't really seem feasible right now, and--

Larry Benson Irwin, Irwin. We're members of the GloboTech family. Surely, we can hunt down that technology.

Gil Mars We can make missiles that can hunt down one unlucky bastard 7,000 miles away and stick a nuclear warhead right up his ass. I don't think we're gonna have a problem with this.

Lloyd Why don't you just give yourself up?

Gus What'd you say?

Lloyd Well, you're not going to kill an entire family. It's over. I mean, you're not the type. You're a thief, not a killer. That's obvious.

Gus I hate guys like you, you know, with your Jeep Grand Cherokee's and your Nicaraguan maids and your ping-zing golf clubs. Every goddamn thing in the world handed to you. I mean, what fuckin purpose do you people serve?

Lloyd You're a criminal. What possible purpose could you serve?

Gus Fuck you, Lloyd! I work for a living, okay? I have a skill. I'm in the game pal. What do you do except take up fuckin space?

Lloyd If you're so skilled, what are you doing stuck here?

Gus Let me tell you something. I could break into any house, anywhere, anytime. Take whatever I want. In and out in ten minutes. No prints, no evidence. Nothing. If what's-his-name hadn't installed that fuckin road runner booby trap I'd be in Jamaica by now.

Lloyd Mmm, I'm impressed.

Gus Nah, you people don't get impressed do you? Huh? Life just bores the shit outta you people. Well, I'm sorry. We don't all have rich mommies and daddies we can live off of or open restaurants when we get bored playing tennis.

Rose You're a "Wong"?

Gus Well, my mother was Irish.

Rose And your father?

Gus Wasn't.