Devon SawaQuotes

Danny O'Shea: [When the Little Giants, losing at the half, want to be put on the injured list] You know, there is something you guys should know. When I was 10 years old, I put myself on the injured list. I never got off it.

Timmy "Rawhide" Moore: Why?

Danny O'Shea: Because I didn't get picked a few times, so I started hiding under the bleachers.

Marcus "The Toe: That's where we belong. Under the bleachers.

Danny O'Shea: No, you don't. You guys belong out there with those Cowboys. You know how I know that? Because I belong out there with my brother.

Rudy "Gasman" Zolteck: Give us a break, coach. You could never beat Kevin O'Shea at anything!

Danny O'Shea: That's not true. I did beat him once.

Jake "Berminator" Berman: When?

Danny O'Shea: When we were kids. We used to race our bikes down Cherry Hill every day after school. We raced every day and he always beat me, but one time - one time - I beat him.

Jake "Berminator" Berman:: You beat Kevin down Cherry Hill?

Danny O'Shea: Yes, I did. He ate my dust.

Johnny "Viper" Vennaro: Big deal. One time.

Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson: You know, one time at Randy Cooper's swim party, I did a backflip off the high dive, and my brother chickened out.

Marcus "The Toe: Roger chickened out? He's a Marine!

Rudy "Gasman" Zolteck: Ah, that's nothing! One time at the spring carnival, I beat both of my brothers in the Cow Dung Toss.

Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson: You beat Matt and Brad in the turd toss?

Jake "Berminator" Berman: You know, one time I went fishing with my entire family, and I was the only one that didn't throw up.

Marcus "The Toe: So what? It still doesn't make us good football players.

Danny O'Shea: Well, wait a second, guys. Who said you had to be good to play football? You play football because you want to. You play football because it's fun. You play football so you can pretend you're Joe Montana throwing a touchdown pass, or Emmitt Smith going for a long run. And even if those Cowboys are better than you guys, even if they beat you 99 times out of 100, that still leaves...

Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson: One time.

Rudy "Gasman" Zolteck: One time.

Junior Floyd: [Smiles] Yeah...one time!

Rudy Zolteck: Great, now they have Spike.

Jake "Berminator" Berman: And we got nothing.

Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson: We got us.

Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon: Yeah! We stink!

Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson: Cause you can't catch, Hot Hands.

Rudy Zolteck: At least he can walk, Crush Jerk.

Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson: Hey Zolteck, have another Pop Tart!

Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon: Yeah, fart boy, or can't you open your big mouth wide enough?!?

Danny O'Shea: Okay, guys, that's enough.

Junior Floyd: Yeah, Coach's right. Break it up.

Rudy Zolteck: Oh, shut up, Junior! You're so good, it makes us sick!

Junior Floyd: [Pause; Leaves] Hey, you don't want me to play? No problemo. I'm outta here.

Becky: Nice work! If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't even have a team.

Marcus, the kicker: Hey, if it wasn't for him, maybe you'd stop drooling and played a little more football!

Little Giants: Yeah!

Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson: Why can't we all just play together?

Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon: Oh, shut up, dipstick! You're probably the main reason Spike quit!

Rudy Zolteck: Yeah, quit bawling you big baby!

Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson: [kicks Rudy's leg] I can cry if I want! It's a free country! I can even do this!

Rudy Zolteck: Ow! Ow!

Marcus, the kicker: [Impressed] Nice kick.

Danny O'Shea: Guys, practice isn't over yet.

Little Giants: Who cares?

Sean: If I get off this chair, I'll drown—you wanna know why, Bob? Because I can't swim...

Sean: You know what Bob? You ARE Jesus.

Sean: You're not Jesus! You're Bob!

Sean: Satan is in the house, he killed my mom and turned her into a bull.

Alex Browning: The mortician said that Death has a design. Okay. I'm talking about omens. How do we know that just by sitting here, by sipping this coffee, or breathing the air, or even crossing the intersection, that we haven't started in motion the events that will some day lead to our death—forty years from now, ten years from now, tomorrow? We don't. Unless we open ourselves up to the signs it's willing to show us.

Anton: [The hand is in a puppet disguise. He sneaks behind Anton's shoulder] Fucking little hand I got you now.

The Hand: [Anton and the hand fight; Anton punches the Hand who is still in the puppet outfit, then pins him to the floor.; Anton grabs him as he is about to deliver a striking blow] I'm your little daddy now...BITCH!!! You should learn NOT to cut off the hand that feeds you Anton!!! AND NOW ANTON..YOU DIE!!!! EAT THIS BITCH!!!

Anton: Who's you daddy now Bitch?

The Hand: I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP!!!

Anton: [after cutting his hand off] Where did it go?

Pnub: What, you mean the hand?

Anton: Of course I mean the hand!

Pnub: Try looking up your ass.

Anton: Hey, I didn't kill anyone on purpose, okay?

Mick: Yeah, well, we weren't in hell! I mean, there was this bright white light at the end of a long tunnel, right, and there was these chicks voices, and that music...

Anton: Music?

Pnub: Yeah, kinda uncool music, like, Enya. And these chicks voices, they were saying, "come to us, come towards the light".

Anton: So what happened?

Mick: We figured, fuck it, I mean, it was really far!

Anton: [hears moaning coming from Mick's grave] Mick?

Mick: Over here. Anton, help me. Come on, man, I can't breathe down here. Anton? Anton, can you hear me?

Anton: [kneels and leans over Mick's grave] Mick?

Mick: Yeah man, it's Mick.

Anton: You're dead!

Mick: No I'm not! You conked me on the head pretty good. I must've been unconcious.

Anton: You think?

Mick: I know fucker, now dig me up!