Douglas Wilmer

Police Commissioner: The Chief thinks that you should give the eulogy.

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: The what?

Police Commissioner: The tribute!

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: Me?

Police Commissioner: You knew him intimately.

Chief Insp. Dreyfus: I hated him intimately!

Police Commissioner: But you're the expert who's going to track down his murderers!

Chief Insp. Dreyfus: I'm the expert who would dearly love to–– to kiss his murderers, don't you understand?!

Police Commissioner: Now, the PR people loved the angle.

Chief Insp. Dreyfus: Sacrilege! I won't do it.

Police Commissioner: [[Politics] ]!

Chief Insp. Dreyfus: No. I'm a good Catholic.

Police Commissioner: So's the Chief's wife.

Chief Insp. Dreyfus: [Hesitates] I don't care! What's she got to do with it?

Police Commissioner: She wrote the speech.

Chief Insp. Dreyfus: [''suppresses a laugh; feigns tears''; ''coughs''; ''suppresses a laugh; feigns tears''; ''suppresses a laugh; feigns tears''; [Heaven; ''breaks down in tears of laughter''] Ladies and gentlemen… honored guests… dear friends… we are gathered here to say… good-bye… to a… a great man. . Not only was he a model police officer… a brilliant detective… admired and respected… by his fellow officers… and all those who were fortunate enough;–– enough;–– enough to know him… … he was, above all else… a modest man! . His kind, will not pass this way again… and our loss… is surely… ]'s gain! .