Memorable Quotes from Eddie Murphy
81 quotesCamera and Eye Interaction in Dialogue Scene
Kelly Robinson
I put this in my eye?
Alexander Scott
I got the camera in my eye.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Moment of Reflection and Concern
Quick
Tommy... hey, man. You asleep? Tommy! Yo... hey... hey... hey... hey...
[''Quick is at the open door of Tommy's apartment'']
Quick
Holy shit... somebody fucked you up real bad, man. I think I'm going to leave, because you probably want to sit there by yourself, alone, and think about who you pissed off. So, I'll let you have your space. Excuse me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perception of the Invisible in the Haunted Mansion
Jim Evers
Hey!
Ghost 1
Can he see us?
Ghost 2
Of course not!
Jim Evers
Yes, I can, I'm looking right at you!
Ghost 2
Don't listen to him, he's lying!
Jim Evers
Okay, forget this.
Ghost 1
I could've sworn he was looking right at me.
Ghost 2
He's psychic.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Investigation Leads to Immediate Danger
Axel Foley
I told you I was investigating a crime, and I think I'm in the right place as I've been here ten minutes and I've already been shot at.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict over Undercover Operations
Inspector Todd
You mind telling me where the fuck you come off going undercover without authorization from me? What the fuck's this all about? You wanna play some fucking bullshit cowboy cop? Go do it in somebody else's precinct!
Axel Foley
Don't you wanna hear my side of the story?
Inspector Todd
What's your fucking side of the story?
Axel Foley
Let's hear your side of the story.
[pause]
Inspector Todd
Hey Axel, I'm not takin anymore of this shit from you. You know how much this little stunt of yours is gonna cost this city?
Axel Foley
I don't think cost is the issue here, sir. I think the issue should be my blatant disregard for proper procedure.
Inspector Todd
You damn right, wise ass! The mayor called the Chief, the Chief called the Deputy Chief and the Deputy Chief just chewed my ass out! You see I don't have any bit of it left, don't you? Where the fuck did you get a truckload of cigarettes from anyway?
Axel Foley
From the Dearborn Hijacking.
Inspector Todd
From the Dearborn Hijacking? That fucking bust went down last week! That truck's supposed to be in the damn pound!
Jeffery
I tried to tell you.
Inspector Todd
Jeffery, this is none of your fucking business!
Jeffery
This is not my locker!
[Pointing to a random locker]
Inspector Todd
Listen Axel, no more of these set ups, you understand? You're a good cop, and you got great potential, but you don't know every fucking thing. And I'm tired of taking the heat for your ass. One more time and you're out on the street. Do you understand me?
Axel Foley
Look, Boss, let me tell...
Inspector Todd
Do you understand me?!
[emphatically]
Axel Foley
Yeah, I understand. Boss. The Chief ain't chew it all out. You still got a little ass there.
Inspector Todd
Don't fuck with me, Axel! Not now! Go on. Go home.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Seeing Multiple Perspectives in the Moment
Kelly Robinson
Hey, I can see you, and me, and you, and... oh, I like this!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Son's Surprising Revelation About Spirits
Michael Evers
Dad?
Jim Evers
Yeah, son?
Michael Evers
I see dead people.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Call for Silence in the Mansion
Jim Evers
(last lines) Hey, guys, keep it down!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
City Problems Require Our Attention
Axel Foley
Hey, let me tell you something, Jeffrey. I don’t know whether or not you realize it, but this city still has a lot of problems. They need us.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Reflection on Past Defeats
Quick
I haven't had my ass whipped in a while. Probably been like 1911.
Sugar Ray
Yeah, that's when the doctor slapped you on the ass.
Quick
Yes. That's the last ass-whipping I recall. I'm looking for him.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Inspector Roper's Frustration with a Situation
Inspector Scott Roper
Aww. C'mon, man! Who am I? ]? I can't roll in that shit!
[seeing the old red truck provided by the police department; [w:Red Foxx|Red Foxx]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tension Escalates Over a Razor Threat
Quick
Vera, put that razor away!
Quick
I ain't playing games no more. You put that fucking razor away or I'll blow your goddamn pinky toe off!
Vera
Oh! Now you're going to shoot me in my pinky toe.
Quick
I'm not playing with you. I will blow that little black, gnarled crusty, dead motherfucker the fuck off your foot! Now put the razor away!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting the Source of His Troubles
Billy Ray Valentine
Hey that's the motherf- I mean... that's the gentleman that had me busted.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desperate Threat in a High-Stakes Situation
Axel Foley
I will shoot you in your face if you don’t fly this helicopter! I will shoot you then Imma shoot myself because I ain’t dying in no helicopter crash!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Bold Prediction of Wealth and Victory
Quick
Hey, I have a lot of money on you, man.
The Champ
W-w-w-well... y-y-y-you's getting ready to b-b-b-be a rich nigga ... you see, because, c-c-come next week... I'm knocking... somebody... the fuck out!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Memorable Quote About Familiarity and Confidence
Axel Foley
This shit's supposed to be like riding a bike!
[on Bobby flying a helicopter]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Comment on Movie Watching Habits
Axel Foley
You watch too many movies.
[after tricking Grant into thinking he escaped through the air-vents]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Inquiring About Personal Relationships
Axel Foley
Have you two had intercourse?
[picking up on Bobby and his daughter's relationship]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Eternal Consequences of Violence
Jim Evers
If you want to kill me, kill me. But when I come round the Other Side, I'll just be whippin your ass for all eternity; so maybe you should read this before you stab somebody!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Natural Dialogue and Humor in Team Dynamics
Axel Foley
What? Y'all the second team?
Detective McCabe
We're the first team.
Detective Foster
Yeah, and we're not gonna fall for a banana in the tailpipe.
Axel Foley
You're not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe? It should be more natural, brother. It should flow out, like this - "Look, man, I ain't fallin for no banana in my tailpipe!" See, that's more natural for us. You been hanging out with this dude too long.
[mocking him]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tailoring Advice for Concealed Carry
Axel Foley
You know you should have your tailor cut your jackets a little wider in the chest, that way your gun won't bulge in the back.
[To Wonderworld Park Security]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Disagreement Over Case Assignment and Expertise
Axel Foley
Look, I heard a rumor that you're gonna use Rand on this case, and between the 2 of us, the guy doesn't know the time of day.
Inspector Todd
Don't mess with me now, Axel.
Axel
It's the first time he's left his desk in 12 years.
Todd
At least he's HAD 12 years! Anyway, it's a Homicide case and it belongs to Rand. Now, go to the hospital!
Axel
Well, you don't mind if I ask around a little bit, do you?
Todd
Don't do a DAMN thing; it's Rand's case. Yo ass is SKATING on thin ice as it is!
Axel
Hey, look, we're talkin about a FRIEND OF MINE HERE!
Todd
Yes, we are, aren't we? Now, let's take a close look at that: 1, a hoodlum friend. 2, a professional hit. 3, in a cop's apartment. This whole thing stinks to high Heaven.
Axel
How you know it was a professional hit?
Todd
I didn't just walk into this town from the cotton fields! Whoever killed your friend wasn't worried about yo little narrow ass; if they were, you'd be lyin beside him in that meat wagon! Just don't do a damn thing. Stay outta this!
Axel
Well, look, I got some vacation time comin to me; I wanna take my vacation now.
Todd
... Stay away from this case, Axel.
Axel
No, it's just that I feel I need a little vacation, that's all.
Todd
Alright... as soon as you're finished at the hospital, you're on vacation.
[gives him a hesitant look]
Axel
Thank you.
Todd
But if you decide to butt into this case... it'll be the LONGEST vacation you ever heard of.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Valuing a Priceless Item
Serge
I see you look at this piece.
[taking notice to Axel's interest in the artwork]
Axel Foley
Yeah. I was wondering how much something like this went for.
Serge
130,000 dollar.
Axel Foley
Get the fuck out of here!
Serge
No, I cannot! It's serious! Because it's very important piece.
[laughing]
Axel Foley
Have you ever sold one of these?
Serge
Sell it yesterday to a collector.
[proudly]
Axel Foley
Get the fuck out of here!
Serge
No! I'm serious! I sell it myself!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Preparing for Action
Axel Foley
Ok everybody's ready here ok, nobody need to take a nervous piss or nothing right? We got this? Ok? Let's mount up.
[To his team]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Reactions to an Experience
Kelly Robinson
Hey! That wasn't so bad!
[''After jumping from a building onto a catering tent to escape from bad guys'']
Alexander Scott
Yeah! Are your legs numb?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Suspended Work: A Unique Advantage
Axel Foley
I do some of my best work when I'm suspended.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation of Authority and Identity
Kelly Robinson
What you doing hanging from the ceiling like that? What you doing?
Alexander Scott
No, don't walk in here.
Kelly Robinson
Let me tell you something man, you ain't gonna be telling me what to do all the time. I'm Kelly Robinson, don't talk to me like that. Oh, shit.
[''Walks into a infra red security system'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Facing Fear as a Source of Strength
Jim Evers
If people see you're scared, they'll use it against you - look, I'm your dad, and I'm not scared!?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unusual Backyard Features in The Haunted Mansion
Jim Evers
Hey, honey, you know they have dead people in the backyard.
Sara Evers
Well, some people have swimming pools, others have private cemetaries. It can happen.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Commentary on Squad Car Quality
Axel Foley
Seriously, this is your squad car? You know, part of me rather get locked up for resisting arrest than get put in this little Fisher Price motherfucker y'all are rolling around in. Y'all are the LEGO cops.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Teaching Life Lessons Through Everyday Experiences
Axel Foley
The point that I'm trying to make, is that when I do something like try to teach you how to get out of handcuffs, that's the same as another parent when they take their kid to the ballgame or giving their kids a slinky, you know?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
B.N.S. and its Playful Interpretation
Rachel
I'm with B.N.S.
Kelly Robinson
Yeah, what's B.N.S. stand for? Bitch that Needs some Slapping?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Awareness While Driving
Axel Foley
Are you driving with your eyes open? Or are you, like, using "the force"?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confidence in Undefeated Record
Kelly Robinson
I'm 57 and 0 baby.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Semi-Psychic Insights and Unforeseen Consequences
Kelly Robinson
You know, I was born semi-pyschic, and I had a bad hunch something was gonna happen in that room.
[they're running away after a mission gone wrong because of Kelly]
Alexander Scott
Then, why did you go into the room?
Kelly Robinson
I'm only semi-pyschic! I ain't Miss Cleo!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
First Impressions of a House
Jim Evers
(opening line) It's fantastic isn't it. Sometimes, when you step into a house, you know straight away whether its good.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Health Warning to Victor from Axel Foley
Axel Foley
Tell Victor that Ramon - -the fella he met about a week ago? - -tell him that Ramon went to the clinic today, and I found out that I have, um, herpes simplex 10, and I think Victor should go check himself out with his physician to make sure everything is fine before things start falling off on the man.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Natural Responses and Workplace Dynamics
Axel Foley
Billy, you know, you don't have to be embarrassed if your dick gets hard. Your dick is supposed to get hard. See? That's the whole object of this. Taggart's dick is hard, but he won't let you know cause he's the boss. Boss dick got to stay limp, right? See, I ain't on duty so my dick can be hard.
[in a strip club]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Moment of Confusion in the Mansion
Jim Evers
Hold on!
Madame Leota
With what?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration Over Lost Wood Stools on Moon
Pluto Nash
You blew up my wood stools. You know how hard it is to get wood on the moon?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Seeking an Escape from the Haunted Mansion
Jim Evers
Yeah, how do we get out of here?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous Reflection on Childhood Experiences
Billy Ray Valentine
When I was a kid, if we wanted a jacuzzi, we had to fart in the tub.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Urgent Call to Action from Axel Foley
Axel Foley
Jesus Christ! Wake up! This is what we've always talked about! Look alive! You may never see it again! I don't wanna step on your tongues, excuse me.
[Upon entering the pool area on the Playboy mansion; Then to his crotch; to Billy and Taggert as he takes a large step]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Comparing Detroit to Buffalo Wild Wings
Axel Foley
Bobby, I'm from Detroit; for me, this is like going to Buffalo Wild Wings. This is nothing like Buffalo Wild Wings.
[seconds later]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Billy Ray Valentine's Zodiac Sign
Billy Ray Valentine
Billy Ray Valentine, Capricorn.
[introducing himself]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Call to Action in the Haunted Mansion
Jim Evers
I gotta help my wife. She'll be...
Singing Busts
Comin round the mountain when she comes...
[singing]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Observation on a police car's cleanliness
Axel Foley
This is the cleanest and nicest police car I've ever been in in my life. This thing's nicer than my apartment.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Ghost's Unwanted Advances Cause Distress
Jim Evers
The guy is dead, he wants to get jiggy with my wife; of course I'm upset!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontational Demands in a Work Environment
Axel Foley
What are you staring at? What is this, a union job? Well, we don't give OSHA breaks here. Move, bitch!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Third Person Reference in Conversation
Kelly Robinson
Kelly Robinson.
Alexander Scott
Are you going to be referring to yourself in the third person, the whole time? Because that can get a little irritating.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous Take on Sleeping with a Gun
Quick
Oh, that's cute! I thought I was the only one who slept with a gun under the pillow... look at the little gun!
[''Quick is getting ready to sleep with Dominique and putting his gun under a pillow... he discovers she's done the same under one'']
Quick
Aw, that's adorable.
Quick
It's cute.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Dark Spirits in the Haunted Mansion
Madame Leota
Dark spirits from the grave come forth. Lift us from the black. And show us, show us the way back.
Jim Evers
Dark spirits? Hey, no dark spirits! Don't you make no dark spirits come out!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Value of Wealth and Poverty
Reggie Hammond
Let me tell you something, Jack. If shit was worth something, poor people would be born with no asshole.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Eternal Love and Commitment in a Letter
Jim Evers
(reading Elizabeth's letter) "Yes, my dear heart, I will marry you. I will love you for all eternity, and tonight at last, we will be together. I do. Forever yours, Elizabeth.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Determined Police Officer on a Mission
Axel Foley
Police officer trying to catch a goddamned killer! Move it! Move it! Get the fuck out of my way! I'm a cop!
[To CIA Agents]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Curiosity About Contents of a Bag
Kelly Robinson
Hey, what's in that bag.
Alexander Scott
Spy stuff.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concerns About Parking Location
Axel Foley
Can you put this in a good spot for me? Cause all this shit happened last time I parked here.
[Foley hands the keys to his beat-up car to a valet]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Uncertainty in Identifying the Villain
Kelly Robinson
He's a bad guy, right?
Alexander Scott
I don't know. People are flip-flopping so much I lost track.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Casual exchange between friends
Alexander Scott
Oh, my gosh.
Kelly Robinson
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Journey Fueled by Freedom and Wealth
Quick
So... where you wanna go, pop?
Sugar Ray
I dunno, son... but we got a tank full of gas and a trunk full of money.
Quick
That sounds like a sweet combination.
[''chuckles'']
Sugar Ray
Sweet as sugar.
[''winks at Quick as they drive off into the night'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Different Perspectives on Relaxation
Mike Woody
God, you know, most guys your age? They're starting to slow down... you know, taking desk jobs! Trying to relax a little bit.
Axel Foley
This is how I relax. Are you not relaxed right now?
Mike Woody
God--! Not relaxed!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Assumptions Can Lead to Misunderstandings
Axel Foley
You made an assumption based on this that I did not like hockey.
[indicates his skin color]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Parenthood Together in Uncertainty
Axel Foley
You're my only child, right? And I've only been a father as long as you've been a daughter. We're making this up as we go along, we both are.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Explosion Surprises Characters
Alexander Scott
Did you see that? That was a big explosion.
Kelly Robinson
Damn!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Introduction of Jim Evers, Real Estate Agent
Jim Evers
(catchphrase) Hello, Jim Evers, of Evers & Evers Real Estate?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Discrimination in Beverly Hills
Axel Foley
Don't you think I realize what's going on here, miss? Who do you think I am, huh? Don't you think I know that if I was some hotshot from out of town that pulled inside here and you guys made a reservation mistake, I'd be the first one to get a room and I'd be upstairs relaxing right now. But I'm not some hotshot from out of town, I'm a small reporter from "Rolling Stone" magazine that's in town to do an exclusive interview with Michael Jackson that's gonna be picked up by every major magazine in the country. I was gonna call the article "Michael Jackson Is Sitting On Top of the World," but now I think I might as well just call it "Michael Jackson Can Sit On Top of the World Just As Long As He Doesn't Sit in the Beverly Palm Hotel CAUSE THERE'S NO NIGGERS ALLOWED IN THERE!
[shouting]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Bold Demonstration in Kelly Robinson Style
Kelly Robinson
Let me show you something a little Kelly Robinson style. Hold on, here we go!
[''To Alex'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Prison Life Reflected in Unfiltered Humor
Reggie Hammond
I've been in prison for three years. My dick gets hard if the wind blows.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding a Spy Gadget for a Sock
Kelly Robinson
Hey, what's this? It looks like a sock.
Alexander Scott
It's a secret spy mask, put it on.
Kelly Robinson
Hey man, this is a sock!
[''He puts it on'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Comment on someone's demeanor
Jim Evers
You're a real cold dude.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Connections and Bold Statements
Billy Ray Valentine
Hey, baby, what's happening? How are ya doing? Once you have a man with no legs, you never go back, baby. I know what you're thinkin'. You seen "Porgy and Bess"? We can make it, baby! Me and you!... You BITCH!
[while acting blind and legless; the woman begins to walk away]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Suggestion for the Officer's Night Stick
Billy Ray Valentine
May I suggest using your night stick officer?
[watching cops subduing an unruly suspect]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Request for a glimpse of something valuable
Kelly Robinson
Hey, come on now. Hey, come on now. Let me at least see the goods.
[''To Alex'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding the "Quart of Blood" Technique
Billy Ray Valentine
That's called the "quart of blood" technique. You do that, a quart of blood will drop out of a person's body.
[after demonstrating some fake karate moves while in jail]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding Leads to Unjust Arrest
Hungarian Cop
Hands up! What's going on here?
[''In Hungarian'']
Alexander Scott
The black guy! The black guy mugged me!
[''In Hungurian about Kelly'']
Kelly Robinson
I'd like to file a complaint! Wait! Why am I being arrested? Why am I the only one getting arrested? This is bullshit! He kicked me, too! He kicked me in my nuts! Why am I getting arrested if I got kicked in my nuts! ] My nuts was kicked!
[''Being put into handcuffs''; ''Being put into police van''; [w:racial profiling|How come you just arresting the black man?!]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning a Tragic Loss
Jim Evers
Why'd you kill her (Elizabeth)?
[firmly]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Prison Memories and Stories of Life
Reggie Hammond
When you've been in prison as long as I have, you remember every story about pussy you ever heard.
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Inspector Roper's Discomfort with the Film
Inspector Scott Roper
My eyes still hurt from reading that movie.
[on watching a foreign film]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Quest for Personal Improvement and Identity
Axel Foley
I can… I can do better. I will be better. I will be… I don’t have to stay this way. I can be a better white man.
[imitating Detective Mike Woody]
Mike Woody
That's me?
Axel Foley
That's you.
[regular voice]
Mike Woody
Oh, yeah, but if I do you, then I am--
Axel Foley
Then it's wildly offensive.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Axel Foley's Confident Announcement of Change
Axel Foley
You didn’t hear about the Winnipeg trade? I’m the new man up in this bitch.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Negativity in Dangerous Situations
Axel Foley
I think you're being a touch negative, because, see, men are trying to kill us, Bobby, and you're a helicopter pilot. And I'm pretty sure that's a fucking helicopter. Shall we?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.