Edward WoodwardQuotes

Sergeant Neil Howie: [shouted] No matter what you do, you can't change the fact that I believe in the life eternal, as promised to us by our Lord, Jesus Christ. I believe in the life eternal, as promised to us by our Lord, Jesus Christ!

Lord Summerisle: [[w:Wicker man|Wicker Man] That is good, for believing what you do, we confer upon you a rare gift, these days - a martyr's death. You will not only have life eternal, but you will sit with the saints among the elect. Come. It is time to keep your appointment with the ].

Sergeant Neil Howie: He brought you up to be a pagan!

Lord Summerisle: A heathen, conceivably, but not, I hope, an unenlightened one.

Sergeant Neil Howie: And you encourage them in this?

Lord Summerisle: Actively. It is most important that each new generation born on Summerisle be made aware that here, the old gods aren't dead.

Sergeant Neil Howie: But what of the true God, to whose Glory, churches and monasteries have been built on these islands for generations past? Now sir, what of Him?

Lord Summerisle: He's dead. He can't complain. He had His chance and in modern parlance, "blew it.

Sergeant Neil Howie: Your lordship seems strangely... unconcerned.

Lord Summerisle: I am confident your suspicions are wrong, Sergeant. We do not commit murder here. We are a deeply religious people.

Sergeant Neil Howie: Religious? With ruined churches, no ministers, no priests... and children dancing naked!

Lord Summerisle: They do love their divinity lessons.

Sergeant Neil Howie: But they are... a-are naked!

Lord Summerisle: Well, naturally. It's much too dangerous to jump through fire with your clothes on.

Sergeant Neil Howie: What religion can they possibly be learning jumping over bonfires?

Lord Summerisle: [[w:Parthenogenesis|Parthenogenesis] ].

Sergeant Neil Howie: What?

Lord Summerisle: Literally, as Miss Rose would doubtless say in her assiduous way, reproduction without sexual union.

Sergeant Neil Howie: Oh, what is all this? I mean, you've got fake biology, fake religion... Sir, have these children never heard of Jesus?

Lord Summerisle: Himself the son of a virgin, impregnated, I believe, by a ghost.

Lord Summerisle: Afternoon Sergeant Howie. I trust the sight of the young people refreshes you.

Sergeant Neil Howie: No sir, it does not refresh me.

May Morrison: Can I do anything for you, Sergeant?

Sergeant Neil Howie: No, I doubt it, seeing you're all raving mad!

Sergeant Neil Howie: [while being burned alive in a Wicker Man; screaming] Oh, God... I humbly entreat you for the soul of this, thy servant, Neil Howie... who will today depart from this world. Do not deliver me into the enemy's hands... or... put me out of mind forever. Let me not undergo the real pains of Hell, dear God, because I die unshriven... and establish me... in that bliss... which knows no ending... through Christ... our Lord. JESUS!! JESUS!!!

Sergeant Neil Howie: [singing] The Lord's my shepherd; I'll not want. He makes me down to lie in pastures... Oh, God.

Sergeant Neil Howie: [upon seeing the Wicker Man] OH GOD!! OH JESUS CHRIST!!!

Sergeant Neil Howie: Don't you see that killing me is not going to bring back your apples?

Met. Sergeant narrating: Police Constable Nicholas Angel: born, schooled in London. Graduated Canterbury University in 1993 with a double first in Politics and Sociology. Attended Hendon College of Police Training and displayed great attitude in field exercises, notably Urban Pacification and Riot Control. Academically excelled in theoretical coursework and final year examinations. Received the Baton of Honour, graduated with distinction into the Metropolitan Police Service and quickly established an effectiveness and popularity within the community. Proceeded to improve skill base with courses in advanced driving and advanced cycling. Became heavily involved in a number of extra-vocational activities and to this day holds the Met record for the hundred metre dash. In 2001, he began active duty with the renowned SO19 Armed Response Unit and received a Bravery Award for efforts in the resolution of Operation Crackdown. In the last twelve months, he has received nine special commendations, achieved highest arrest record for any officer in the Met and sustained three injuries in the line of duty, most recently in December when wounded by a man dressed as Father Christmas.

Joyce Cooper: I hope you had a pleasant trip—fascist!

Reverend Phillip Shooter: [after being shot] Fuck off, grasshopper! Jesus Christ!

Sgt. Tony Fisher: [upon being presented with an obvious murder scene] Hang about, hang about... you're saying this wasn't an accident?

Sgt. Tony Fisher: [after Sgt. Angel lays out a plan of action] Very good. What he said.

DC Andy Cartwright: You wanna be a big cop in a small town? Fuck off up the model village!

DS Andy Wainwright: Murder, murder, murder. Change the fucking record!

Sgt. Turner: [after Angel has arrested three underage drinkers] You really want to, process all this lot? My pen's runnin out.

Michael Armstrong AKA Lurch: Yarp.

Sgt. Turner: [Angel turns to face him, he is literally covered in firearms all over his black suit, he has a tooth pick in his mouth] Oh, Sgt. Angel, someone from London called for you. I'll tell em you'll ring em back.

PC Doris Thatcher: [after knocking Tina unconscious with a 'Slippery When Wet' sign] Nothing like a bit o girl-on-girl.

Sgt. Turner #2: I dunno, nobody tells me nothin'.

Tom Weaver: [while aiming a blunderbuss at Nicholas] You know what you are? A BLOODY BUSYBODY!