Ellie Kemper Quotes

Annie Are you fucking kidding me?

Annie's Mom Annie?

Annie No, mom. Motherfucking Paris? I told you about Paris, Helen! I told you about this whole idea!

Lillian Annie, calm down...

Annie No, Lillian! What are you gonna go, you're gonna go to Paris with Helen now? What are you gonna, you guys gonna ride around on bikes with berets and fucking baguettes in the basket on the front of your bikes? Oh, how romantic! What woman gives another woman a trip to Paris? Am I right? Lesbian! We're all thinking it, aren't we?

Becca I'm not.

Megan I was.

Annie Okay! Yes, we're all thinking it, right?

Annie's Mom Annie...

Annie Lillian, this is not the you that I know! The you that I know would have walked in here and rolled your eyes and would have thought that this was completely over the top, ridiculous and stupid! Look at this shower! Look at that fucking cookie! Did you really think that this group of women was gonna finish that cookie? Really, and you know that reminds me actually; I never got a chance to try that fucking cookie!

Rita What are we doing for the bachelorette party?

Becca What about like, a princess theme?

Helen Versace meets the Gold Rush.

Rita I'm thinking tanned gentlemen that swallow fire and wear sarongs.

Megan Female fight club. We grease up - surprise! Beat the crap out of her.

Rita I don't hate it--

Helen Vegas it is.

Ms. Griggs Oh my God! You're like two Hardy Boys in one!

Jamie There's something fishy going on down at the sardine factory! I think it's fish!