Elliott GouldQuotes

Max Devlin: [referring to Toby's sudden hostility] I have to put up with that kid? I don't think I'll be able to handle him now that I'm married to his mom.

Barney Satin: Yeah? Well, don't worry. I'll put in a call to Agent Hargraves and she will deal with him tonight.

Max Devlin: But I got all their signatures on their contracts and I'm free. Am I?

Barney Satin: Yes. Technically yes, you are free. But by midnight tonight, Toby and the other two souls will belong to me.

Max Devlin: Not until the natural end of their lives. That's what you said when you first instructed me how to carry out this scheme.

Barney Satin: Point of fact: I lied. I need them now. They will take your place at midnight as your replacements.

Max Devlin: Oh, no! Barney, I never would have agreed to this had I known. Toby's a good kid. If you kill him, you'll kill her! Penny will not have the will to live if Toby dies.

Barney Satin: Unfortunately, her soul does not belong to me. Nor it ever will. But then again, you now have your precious life. At least to live out until the natural end of your life before you come back to me... and Hell.

Barney Satin: You got some kind of death wish, Max?

Max Devlin: No, but you do! You're lucky you're dead or so help me you will be a dead man!

Barney Satin: Watch it. You're getting angry, Max.

Max Devlin: You're damn right I'm angry! Don't you ever pull a stunt like that on me again!

Barney Satin: I was just trying to get your attention.

Max Devlin: Yeah? Well, next time try tapping on the shoulder.

Max Devlin: What the...? That's entrapment! It's not fair!

Barney Satin: Fair? Are you forgetting where you are?

Barney Satin: Mind if I join you?

Max Devlin: What are you doing here?

Barney Satin: I've never been to the Grammys.

Max Devlin: Be my guest.

Barney Satin: Goodie for me and goodie for you too. Congratulations on your engagement. When's the happy day?

Max Devlin: This Saturday, sandwiched between the first and second motos and after that, Stella's concert at the music center. I'll get her signature on her contract tonight, then Nerve's at his champion race on Thursday, and finally Toby's after the wedding.

Barney Satin: It's gonna be real busy for you these next few days. Your wedding is this Saturday... May 15th. You're cutting it real close, aren't you?

Max Devlin: I had no choice in the matter. It was Penny's decision to have the wedding on that day.

Barney Satin: Well, at least you will still save yourself.

Max Devlin: Yeah.

Barney Satin: What's the matter? You don't sound too happy about it.

Max Devlin: Nobody said I had to enjoy this.

Barney Satin: Beats Level 4.

Max Devlin: You want me to corrupt the souls of little kids? I've never been too fond of kids. I hate kids. Then again, tricking three innocent kids into signing their souls to you is not a nice thing.

Barney Satin: Neither is Level 4.

Max Devlin: Where do I sign?

Barney Satin: What about my contracts?

Max Devlin: So, this is what that stunt back there was all about?

Barney Satin: Yes. My associates on the counsel are getting a little itchy. Why has not one subject signed their souls yet?

Max Devlin: I don't care! I got until midnight on May 15. That's our deal. Look, I'm trying to get these people so hooked on me that they'll sign anything, but it takes time. If I go too fast, I'm libel to blow the whole deal!

Barney Satin: I like your style, Max. You're a devious fellow.

Max Devlin: What happens to the kids after I get them to sign?

Barney Satin: Nothing. We don't get them until the natural ends of their lives.

Max Devlin: Oh my God!

Barney Satin: I wish you wouldn't say that.

Max Devlin: I'm sorry!

Barney Satin: I know.

Kathleen Smith: Bernie, it's inhuman to do that to a baby kangaroo! It's inhuman!

Bernie Bonnelli: Has anyone ever told you that you're always repeating yourself? This is no ordinary kangaroo... Junior's different. Remember who his father was.

Dr. Verringer: I apologize for this intrusion, Mrs. Wade, but your husband dislikes paying his bills. I'm sorry; in future I must refuse to accept him as a patient.

Philip Marlowe: Well we don't accept you as a doctor, quack.

Det. Green: My, my, you are a pretty asshole.

Philip Marlowe: Yeah, my mother always tells me that.

Philip Marlowe: Listen Harry, in case you lose me in traffic, this is the address where I'm going. You look great.

Harry: Thank you.

Philip Marlowe: I'd straighten your tie a little bit. Harry, I'm proud to have you following me.

Roger Wade: I tell you what we're gonna do, Marlboro. You're gonna take that goddamn J.C. Penney tie off and we're gonna have an old fashioned man to man drinking party.

Philip Marlowe: Well, that's okay but I'm not taking off the tie.

Roger Wade: What'll you have?

Philip Marlowe: What are you drinking?

Roger Wade: What I'm drinking is called Aquavit.

Philip Marlowe: I'm drinking what you're drinking.

Roger Wade: Well God bless you. I like to hear that. People these days go, "Oh, I want a little of this. Oh, and a little of that and a twist of lemon." Balls!

Philip Marlowe: Excuse me, I don't see any Courry Brand cat food here.

Supermarket clerk: Some what?

Philip Marlowe: Some Courry Brand cat...

Supermarket clerk: Could you spell that?

Philip Marlowe: Courry Brand, C-O-U-R-R...

Supermarket clerk: Oh, we're all out of that. Why don't you get this. All this shit is the same anyways.

Philip Marlowe: You don't happen to have a cat by any chance?

Supermarket clerk: What do I need a cat for, I've got a girl.

Philip Marlowe: Ha, ha. He's got a girl, I got a cat.

Philip Marlowe: Nobody cares but me.

Terry Lennox: Well that's you, Marlowe. You'll never learn, you're a born loser.

Philip Marlowe: Yeah, I even lost my cat.

Marty Augustine: What's that?

Philip Marlowe: [[James Madison] A picture of ].

Marty Augustine: It's a $5000 bill.

Philip Marlowe: I know.

Marty Augustine: Where'd you get this?

Philip Marlowe: A box of crackerjacks, came as a prize.

Marty Augustine: Your friend was a murderer and a thief.

Philip Marlowe: That's a lie. I know he didn't kill her.

Marty Augustine: Let me tell you something else. It's a minor crime, to kill your wife. The major crime is that he stole my money. Your friend stole my money, and the penalty for that is capital punishment.

Roger Wade: Do you ever think about suicide, Marlboro?

Philip Marlowe: Me, I don't believe in it.

Derek Vinyard: [[Rodney King] If he had, though? Come on, think about it. If that fucking monkey had run some kid over, everybody would have a very different opinion of this whole matter! They'd be focused on ] and not on these officers. But instead, he just attacked a few cops. And so suddenly, it's Hands Across America for this fucking total son of a bitch. I mean, it blows my mind. We're so hung up on this notion that we have some obligation to help this struggling black man, cut him some slack until he can overcome these historical injustices. It's crap. This stuff just perpetuates it and all this liberal nonsense. Everyone's looking the other way while our country rots from the inside out. I mean, Christ, Lincoln freed the slaves, in like; 130 years ago. How long does it take to get your act together?

Murray: Well, Jews have been persecuted for over 5,000 years. Are you saying it's wrong to feel sensitive about anti-Semitism?

Stacey: Oh, forget that. I'm with you. I'm with you all the way, baby. I'm so sick of these liberal hypocrites.

Davina: Oh, here we go again. I love this part. This is great.

Stacey: Well, look at the way how they scapegoated Chief Gates. You tell me to think they would've come down that hard on black Willie Williams? No way. That videotape was a set-up to get rid of Gates!

Davina: [To Doris, illuminatingly] Can I please be excused?

Doris Vinyard: Yes…

Derek Vinyard: No! No, you cannot. Don't interrupt.

Stacey: Excuse me, I was talking. I listened to you.

Derek Vinyard: Don't interrupt her!

Davina: Who the hell do you think you are?

Derek Vinyard: She's right in the middle of making the point!

Davina: [Storms up out of her chair; This makes Derek very furious.] Who the hell do you think you are?

Derek Vinyard: [Storms up too] Hey! Davina, sit down. No, sit down!

Derek Vinyard: [Just as Davina tries to push him] No, sit your ass down! No, sit down. Shut your mouth. No. Sit down, shut your mouth and give my girlfriend some respect!

Murray: [Annoyed] Derek, what are you trying to prove?

Derek Vinyard: [Pulls Davina's hair to stop her from leaving] Murray, stay out of it! Come here! Hey, what do you think you're going?

Doris Vinyard: No!!!!

Murray: [As Derek grabs a piece of ham off the plate] Derek, let her go! Derek, let her go!

Derek Vinyard: [Angrily shoves a piece of ham on Davina's mouth] You need to learn some fucking manners, Davina! Shut your fucking mouth!

Danny Vinyard: [Davina chokes on the meat, and tries to muffle with no words.] Derek! Stop!

Murray: She can't breathe!

Doris Vinyard: [Pulls Derek's shoulder] Let… her… GO!!!

Derek Vinyard: Are you gonna apologize? Are you?!?

Davina: You're a fucking asshole!

Doris Vinyard: I hate you!

Murray: What are you doing Derek? This is your family.

Derek Vinyard: Right, my family, my family, so you know what? I don't give two shits about you or anybody else or what they think. You're not a part of it and you never will be.

Murray: That has nothing to do with it!

Derek Vinyard: [Flashes swastika tattoo] Oh it doesn't? You don't think I see what you're trying to do here? You think I'm gonna sit here and smile while some fucking kike tries to fuck my mother? It's never gonna happen Murray! Fucking forget it! Not on my watch, not while I'm still in this family. I will fucking cut your Shylock nose off and stick it up your ass before I let that happen. Coming here and poison my family's dinner with your Jewish, Nigger-loving, hippie bullshit. Fuck you! Fuck you! Yeah, walk out, asshole, fucking Kabbalah reading motherfucker. Get the fuck out of my house. DO YOU SEE THIS!? THAT MEANS NOT WELCOME!

Murray: [About Danny] I don't have a personal problem with him!

Bob Sweeney: Don't insult my intelligence, Murray! You hate this child, and I think I know why.

Murray: [Closes the door] So I went out with his mother a few times. That was three years ago... it was nothing.

Bob Sweeney: Nothing. Really?

Murray: [[Hitler] That paper, Bob--it's a travesty. Arguing for ] as a civil rights hero? You've got to draw the line.

Bob Sweeney: You know, Murray, you actually brought this upon yourself. You said the paper could be on any book that related to the struggle for human rights...in plain English. I am not disputing that the child is confused, and harbors some sick ideas, but I am not ready to give up on him yet.

Murray: His brother probably put him up to it.

Bob Sweeney: I guarantee you 100% his brother did not put him up to this.

Murray: Whatever...I find that hard to believe.

Doris Vinyard: You think you're the only one doin time, Derek? You think you're here all alone? You think I'm not in here with you?

Murray: Derek, what are you trying to prove?!

Lamont: [In the prison laundry] Don't fuck with me, a'ight? I'm the most dangerous man in this prison. You know why? Cause I control the underwear.

Lamont: Okay, I know your kind, right...bad ass peckerwood with an attitude. Well, let me tell you something: you better watch your ass, cause in the joint, you the nigger, not me.

Seth: [[w:Battle Hymn of the Republic|Battle Hymn of the Republic] My eyes have seen the glory of the trampling at the zooWe have washed ourselves in niggers blood and all the mongrels tooWe're taking down the ZOG machine, Jew by Jew by JewThe white man marches on! ~ white supremacist lyrics for "].

Bob Sweeney: [Arguing with Danny Vinyard about his "Mein Kampf" paper] I think the street would kill you. Your rhetoric and your propaganda aren't gonna save you out there.

Robert Caulfield: Somebody took a shot at me.

Walter Loughlin: When?

Robert Caulfield: Yesterday.

Walter Loughlin: Thank God I've got an alibi.

Robert Caulfield: Mr Albaine, how much do you charge to dust a field?

Albain: Twenty five dollars.

Robert Caulfield: I'd like to hire your plane.

Albain: That'll be a hundred dollars.

Robert Caulfield: You said you charged 25?

Albain: Twenty five dollars to dust a field, but you ain't got no field because you ain't no farmer, which means you ain't poor and I think you're a pervert!

Robert Caulfield: Okay, one hundred.

Albain: One hundred and twenty five.

Robert Caulfield: What?

Albain: Because you said yes to a hundred too quick, which means you can afford a hundred and twenty five.

Robert Caulfield: You in charge here?

Albain: See that sign there?

Robert Caulfield: Yes.

Albain: Well, read it.

Robert Caulfield: I did.

Albain: Out loud.

Robert Caulfield: A&A Crop Dusting Service.

Albain: You wanna know who I am?

Robert Caulfield: I bet you're one of the A's.

Albain: But which one? I bet you can't answer that question, smart-ass.

Robert Caulfield: The first one.

Albain: Wrong.

Robert Caulfield: Can I have one more guess?

Albain: You got it.

Robert Caulfield: The second one.

Albain: Wrong. I'm both of them. My name is AlBaine. Now, I got a son. You know, the other A was for him but he don't like to fly. He became a lawyer. I think he's a pervert so I took the A away from him. You want to speak to someone in charge, you're speaking to the both of them.

Robert Caulfield: My name is Caulfield.

Albain: Hey, I can't help that.

Judy Drinkwater: I'll fix you some coffee, then you can jump me.

Robert Caulfield: There's no other one besides White Bluff?

Judy Drinkwater: No, except one abandoned base they used for training during World War II. Jackson. There's nothing there now. Don't you want to jump me?

Robert Caulfield: Of course I do. Where's Jackson?

Judy Drinkwater: About 300 miles directly west. I think I'm going to get angry with you.

Robert Caulfield: Do you have any money on you?

Judy Drinkwater: You want me to pay you?

Robert Caulfield: How much?

Judy Drinkwater: About a hundred. Why don't I just leave it on the dresser in the morning?

Robert Caulfield: Give it to me now.

Judy Drinkwater: In advance? That's the height of conceit.

Robert Caulfield: Please, and your car keys.

Robert Caulfield: Look, when a reporter tells his assignment editor that he thinks he may be on to something that could be really big, the assignment editor is supposed to say: "You've got 48 hours, kids, and you better come up with something good or it's going to be your neck!" That's what he's supposed to say, I saw it in a movie.

Walter Loughlin: You're not crazy, I'm crazy. I'm crazy for listening and I'm crazy for saying what I'm about to say. I'll give you 24 hours to come up with something. Not 48. I saw the movie too, it was 24.

Walter Loughlin: [[Bob Woodward|Woodward; [Carl Bernstein|Bernstein; [w:Patty Hearst|Patty Hearst; [w:John F. Kennedy assassination|Kennedy assassination] Listen to me and listen good. I don't like you, Caulfield. You're ambitious. You think the way to get ahead is to come up with the scoop of the century. ] and ] were good reporters, that's how they did it. Not by telling me they've located ] three times like you did or that brilliant piece of investigative journalism you pulled off by finding an eye witness to the second gunman in the ]. The small fact that the man had been in a mental institution at the time never deterred you, not Scoop Caulfield. Now most reporters are like me. They are plodders. They spend a lot of their time checking little things... like facts. They cover mundane stories like wars and trials and hearings. You never seem to have enough time in your busy schedule to stoop so low as to cover a story. You occupy your time with tips from people who never existed. Driving your car into water and claiming it wasn't your fault. Getting shot at by unseen gunmen. Now I really hate to interrupt your meteoric career with something so plebeian as a legitimate story. However, a train load of propane gas had the bad taste to derail near Galveston and there's a whole town that just might blow up. So it would be just really peachy of you if you would join your film crew that's waiting for you on the plane at this very moment while we speak.

Robert Caulfield: That was some speech.

Loughlin: I thought so.

Reuben Tishkoff: [Meeting a fortune teller, notices Benedict and his goons behind him] THIS? You couldn't see this?!

Reuben Tishkoff: Are you having some telethon we don't know about?!

Reuben Tishkoff: [to Turk] Yeah, well I need to use the toilet otherwise I'm gonna shit on your shoes! C'mon Frank...

Saul Bloom: When they opened The Flamingo, one day it was closed, the next it was open. End of story. I know, I was there.

Saul Bloom: Kensington Chubb here!

Saul Bloom: Did I say I was walking away? Let's gut the sonovabitch.

Reuben Tishkoff: We'll talk about it when I'm dead.

Roman Nagel: You're analog players in a digital world. You're done.

Yen: Shit! Shit! Shit!

Saul Bloom: (Talking to Willie Bank as Kensington chubb) Well, so far, this establishment is of, Aces!

Reuben Tishkoff: [''After Danny and his crew shows up at his door''] Did you guys get a group rate or something?

Reuben Tishkoff: You guys are pros. The best. I'm sure you can make it out of the casino. Of course, lest we forget, once you're out the front door, you're still in the middle of the fucking desert!