Eric StoltzQuotes

Otis: [in book club] It was arousing... violently arousing.

Chet: Otis, did you even read the book?

Otis: Yes... no.

Chet: [[Plato; [Aristotle] If ] is a fine red wine, then ] is a dry martini.

Martin Brundle: [grabs some of the sticky substance that is growing over his skin] Beth, if you stay with me, I'll show you a magic trick you'll never forget.

Hardy Jenns: Look, I'm perfectly willing to forget this. Okay? I see no reason in carrying this on any longer. It was a joke. It's gone too far. It's over. Okay?

Keith Nelson: [turns to leave] You want the truth? You want the plain truth? You're over.

Amanda Jones: Are you just gonna leave?

Keith: There isn't anything I could do to him that he hasn't already done to himself.

Jones: [comes up to Hardy; smiles at Hardy and slaps him... and slaps him again] I wish I could live with that.

Watts: She said she'd meet you here?

Keith Nelson: Not in those words.

Watts: In any words? Maybe she didn't have ID.

Keith: Who doesn't have ID?

Watts: Maybe she doesn't like you as much as you think.

Keith: Maybe.

Watts: Do you miss me, Keith? Do you miss not being around me?

Keith: This isn't the third grade anymore.

Watts: She doesn't love you. It's a joke. It's all a joke.

Keith: [stern] How do you know?

Watts: I'd bet my hands on it.

Keith: [drinks] You don't wanna make that bet.

Watts: Yeah, I do. I've been thinking a lot lately about you and me... and I came to a conclusion that I didn't want to deal with. But now that we've talked I can't hide it anymore. We'd get along much better if we didn't spend so much time together anymore.

Keith: Why?

Watts: [gets more emotional] Because I'm driving you crazy and you're driving me crazy. And I'd rather not see you and have you think good things about me than have you see me and hate me. Cause I can't afford to have you hate me, Keith. The only things I care about in this goddamn life are me and my drums, and you. Adios.

Keith: [she looks back at him and leaves] Wait. Watts. Watts!

Sparkle: Bunny, that's enough.

Menlo Schwartzer: Enough? Why, I just started!

Sparkle: Please stop, before it's too late.

Menlo Schwartzer: Too late"? That's rich, it's already too late!

Chuck: What time is it?

Menlo Schwartzer: Oh, it's about a quarter to-...NEVER MIND THAT!

Beaker: [cuts into a zombie corpse with a bone saw. It screams.] I thought you said he was dead!

Chuck: Maybe he was sleeping.

Beaker: [maniacally continues cutting] NOT ANYMORE!

Chuck: Is he dead?

Bob: Dead, man? This dude is worse than dead, he's been cancelled!

Lindy Sue: [about the zombified Jocko] Last night he broke into the grocery store and drank six gallons of anti-freeze!

Chuck: Really? We haven't had a cold snap since January.

Johnny Big Head: [steps into a driving arcade game] Have to drive to stay alive!

Cindy Lou: Johnny, you can't: it says it's out of order.

Johnny Big Head: Don't matter! I can't read!

Chuck: He's got an IQ of 53.

Cindy Lou: That's impossible!

Johnny Big Head: I know! I cheated! A-bow-bow!

Bob: [noticing bikini babes] Check it out!

Chuck: Whoa! Wenches!

Bob: Hi, I'm Bob. Excuse me, but are you available for dating?

Bikini Babe: Well, perhaps. What did you have in mind?

Bob: Are you clean?

Chief Boyardie: [lifts up sheet revealing corpse] This won't be easy, but you boys know all the surfers in this area and I need identification. Well, there it is.

Bob: What is it?

Chief Boyardie: Surfers. Two, maybe three. What's left of them.

Chuck: What happened?

Chief Boyardie: We're not sure. One thing's certain, it wasn't suicide.

Chuck: How do you know?

Chief Boyardie: There's no motive. Besides, it's impossible to cut off your own arms and legs...and head.

Coroner: Haven't seen a mess like this since the days of the early Cuisinarts.

Rocky Dennis: Grandma! Grandpa! How are you?

Abe Dennis: [Checks out Rocky's baseball card collection of the 1955 Brooklyn Dodgers; presents Rocky with the rare baseball card he had been searching a long time for] Doing great Rocky. Your team is good, but I have always said the backbone of a good team is a...center fielder!

Rocky Dennis: Hey! Thanks so much!

Rocky Dennis: What's his problem, mom?

Rusty Dennis: Nothing. He just another asshole. You let that negative dreck in and it'll put you away. You can be a chicken shit and die or be a mensch and keep makin yourself well.

Gar: Rocky, you mom sometimes does the wrong things, but for the right reasons.

Rocky Dennis: You always stick up to her, Gar, and then she pisses you off, and you split. Then you come back.

Eric: That wasn't bad, Dennis. How about you tutor me?

Rocky Dennis: Tutor you?

Eric: Yeah, Cooley almost failed me last year.

Rocky Dennis: Okay, but it will cost you three bucks an hour.

Eric: [surprised] Three bucks?

Rocky Dennis: Hey, I don't work for free.

Eric: [kinda tense] It's a deal.

Rocky Dennis: [smashing some plates] I hate you going out every night and coming home wasted all the time!

Rusty Dennis: It's none of your goddamn business!

Rocky Dennis: You're my mother!

Rusty Dennis: Well, you're not my warden!

Rocky Dennis: [spending a day with his biker "family" at an amusement park; he's looking in a funhouse mirror that instead of distorting his face, makes it look like everyone else's] Hey, Ben, look at this.

Rocky Dennis: [poem] These things are good: ice cream and cake, a ride on a Harley, seeing monkeys on a tree, the rain on my tongue, and the sun shining on my face. These things are a drag: dust in my hair, holes in my shoes, no money in my pocket, and the sun shining on my face.

Rocky Dennis: [repeated line] Make myself well.

Rocky Dennis: [to some students who make fun of his face] Hey, what's the matter? Haven't you guys ever seen anybody from the planet Vultern before? Beep-beep-beep! Beep-beep-beep!

Rocky Dennis: Don't worry, Mr. Simms. I look weird, but otherwise I'm real normal. Everything will be cool. Thanks a lot. See you next week.

Simon: I'm so tired of this war.

Gabriel: Reject the lie, Simon. Join us! Help us make it like it was before the monkeys. You remember? We cast out Lucifer's army, you and I. We threw their rebel thrones from the wall.

Simon: They wanted to be gods.

Gabriel: I don't wanna be a god, Simon. I just wanna make it like it was, before the lie. When He loved us best.

Simon: Do you believe that you are a part of God's plan?

Thomas Daggett: That's a complicated question.

Simon: No it isn't.

Simon: I remember the First War, the way the sky burned, the faces of angels destroyed. I saw a third of Heaven's legion banished and the creation of Hell. I stood with my brothers and watched Lucifer fall. But now, my brothers are not brothers, and we have come here, where we are mortal, to steal the Dark Soul, not yet Lucifer's, to serve our cause. I have always obeyed, but I never thought the War would happen again.