Can't Hardly Wait - Unexpected Responses in a Moment of Need
Preston Meyers:
Any words of encouragement?
Exchange Student:
Would you like to touch my penis? I am a sex machine.
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Can't Hardly Wait - Finding True Love in Amanda
Preston Meyers:
I don't know about you, but I really believe that there's one person out there, and for me it's gotta be Amanda.
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Can't Hardly Wait - A Chance Encounter Over Breakfast Pastries
Preston Meyers: [narrating]
It was October, freshman year. First time in history that I'd ever missed the bus. If I had arrived on time, I never would've seen her. But as it was, I was the first person at Huntington Hills High to set eyes on Amanda Beckett. It was her first day at school. Then, I'm sitting in class enjoying a late breakfast when out of all the classrooms in the entire school, she walks into mine. And where does the teacher sit her? Right next to me! Now, up until now, one could write this off to coincidence. But then she reaches in her bag and pulls out a strawberry Pop-Tart - the very same breakfast pastry I was consuming at that moment! What was I to do? How was I to proceed?
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Disturbing Behavior - A Conversation on Perception and Reality
Allen Clark:
What're you doing, dipshit? Don't worry about the snakes in your garden when you've got spiders in your bed.
Betty Caldicott:
Meet the musical little creatures that hide among the flowers.
U.V.:
I bet you didn't know toast came in 3 flavors.
U.V.:
Denial ain't just a river in Italy, bud!
U.V.:
I've got like, two customers left! If this keeps up, I'm going to be the 7-11 guy!
Andy Effkin: [snaps Mary Joe's neck]
Slut.
Dr. Caldicott:
Science is God!
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Sweet Home Alabama - Honeymoon Plans Suggested by Bobby Ray
Bobby Ray: [about a pair of handcuffs; laughs with Frederick Montana before exchanging a look]
Might wanna save those for the honeymoon!
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Sweet Home Alabama - Accusation of Dishonesty
Bobby Ray:
Well, aren't you just a big fat liar?
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Sweet Home Alabama - Unexpected sentiments about a funeral invitation
Bobby Ray:
We weren't aimin for ya, but I doubt I woulda gone to your funeral.
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Sweet Home Alabama - Honky Tonk Roots Remain Unchanged
Bobby Ray:
You can take the girl out of the honky tonk, but you can't take the honky tonk out of the girl.
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Sweet Home Alabama - Compliment on a striking appearance
Bobby Ray: [to Melanie]
Woo-oo. You look like sex on a stick in that Frederick Montana getup.
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Vegas Vacation - Unexpected Attention from Wayne Newton
Rusty Griswold:
Holy crap, Wayne Newton's hittin on mom!
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Vegas Vacation - Vision Without Lenses in Vegas
Rusty Griswold:
Security: "No corrective lenses tonight Mr Papagiorgio?" Rusty: "No sir, I do not require them.
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Vegas Vacation - The Cost of Having an Entourage
Rusty Griswold:
It's expensive having an entourage.
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Vegas Vacation - A Humorous Remark About Monkeys
Rusty Griswold:
So I says to him, I said, "Get your own monkey!
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Vegas Vacation - Rusty's Surprising Compliment About His Sister
Rusty Griswold:
Who would have thought my sister had the legs of a thoroughbred. Am I right?
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Vegas Vacation - Repeated Success at the Casino
Rusty Griswold:
I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car.
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Vegas Vacation - A Request for Bedtime Fun
Rusty Griswold:
Couldn't you just roll us around on the bed again.
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Empire Records - Rebellion Against Authority and Preservation
Mark: [into television camera]
Damn the man. Save the Empire.
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Empire Records - Late Night at Empire Records
Mark: [answers phone; pause]
Empire Records, we're open til midnight. Midnight.
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Empire Records - Focus on the present, not the past.
Mark:
We mustn't dwell... no, not today. We CAN'T. Not on Rex Manning day!
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