Chad Donella

Gavin: [points to the car enthusiast students; [Lynyrd Skynyrd|Skynyrd; [The Allman Brothers Band|The Allmans; [Bruce Springsteen|Bruce] It's a class system here at CB High, Stevie Boy. Check it out. There, you've got your motor heads, car jocks, all the world's a gasket and a lube job and a pack of Lucky's. Music of choice: Posi-traction overdrive, classic rock, ], ], ]. Drug of choice: Beer, Miller Genuine Draft. Keggers can't be choosers.

UV: Freaks that fix leaks.

Gavin: [points to the nerdy students; [Stephen Hawking] Over here you have your microgeeks... nerds, whiz kids and various other bottom feeders. Music of choice: The sound of an Apple PC booting up. Drug of choice: ]'s "A Brief History of Time"... and a cup of jasmine tea on a Saturday night.

UV: Freaks that go squeak.

Gavin: [points to the hippie students] Over there you have your skaters. Riffin', raging kids and their ramp tramps. Baggy pants, Dickie wools, doing 50-50 grinds... with a gnarly grab finish on a homemade half-pipe in the woods. Music of choice: The whack of a hackysack. Drug of choice: Ecstasy, E-tab, baby; longer lovin through science.

UV: Freaks in sneaks.

Gavin: [points to the Blue Ribbons] Here's where it gets really... nasty. Lorna runs with that group over there, the Blue Ribbons.

Steve: What's that?

Gavin: Community group. Good kids. Have car washes and bake sales and kiss a lot of adult sphincter.

U.V.: Blue Robots.

Gavin: [[Charles Manson|Manson; [Timothy McVeigh|McVeigh; [O.J. Simpson|O.J.] Hear, hear. Those three guys are Cradle Bay's answer to ], ] and ]: Trent Whalen, Andy Effkin, Robby Stewart.

UV: Hey, I bet you didn't know that toast came in three flavors.

Gavin: Music of choice: the hum of perfection, the buzz of ambition. Drug of choice: life, the pursuit of clean living at the expense of all who sniffle at the hem of their gowns.

UV: Freaks so chic.

Gavin: The you've got kids like me and UV here, those who like their metal heavy, their Marlboro's light. Music of choice...

Gavin and UV: [[Metallica#...And Justice for All (1988)|Harvester of sorrow, language of the mad] ].

Gavin: Drug of choice: what have you got?

UV: Freaks all week!

Gavin: That's it. Lesson over. Class dismembered. Welcome to Cradle Bay High, Stevie Boy. Welcome to my nightmare.

Allen Clark: What're you doing, dipshit? Don't worry about the snakes in your garden when you've got spiders in your bed.

Betty Caldicott: Meet the musical little creatures that hide among the flowers.

U.V.: I bet you didn't know toast came in 3 flavors.

U.V.: Denial ain't just a river in Italy, bud!

U.V.: I've got like, two customers left! If this keeps up, I'm going to be the 7-11 guy!

Andy Effkin: [snaps Mary Joe's neck] Slut.

Dr. Caldicott: Science is God!