Memorable Quotes from Hank Azaria
17 quotesEmbracing Identity: The Tale of the Hippo
Claude
It's like zee story of zee heeppo.
Reuben Feffer
I'm not familiar with that story.
Claude
Zee heeppopotamoose, he is not born saying, "Cool beans. I am a heeppo." No way, Joesay. So he try to paint zee stripe on him to be like zee zebra, but he fool no one. Then he try to put zee spot on zee skin to be like the leopard, but everyboody know he is a heeppo. So, at certain point, he look himself in zee mirror and he just say, "Hey. I am a heeppopotamoose and zere is nothing I can do about it." As soon as he accepts zis, he live life happy. Happy as a heeppo. You understand zis, Luban?
Reuben Feffer
I'm gonna kill you!
[long pause]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Contrasting Views on Fun and Adventure
Smurfette
Isn't this fun?
Gargamel
Decidedly not!
[frightened]
Hackus
Best ride ever! Smurfette's fun, huh?!
[to Gargamel; Gargamel gives a thumbs-up, while screaming in fright]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gargamel's Desperate Plea for Assistance
Gargamel
No no no no no! Stop, stop! Help me, Wanda! Help, Help me, Wanda!
[falling from the sky]
Azrael
So long, sucker!
[meowing; as he walks on the fountain Gargamel grabs him]
Gargamel
And where do you think you're going?! You're coming with me!
[grabs Azrael; he falls in the portal and the last mid-credits show them falling back to Gargamel’s tower starting the rest of the credits]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Tough Choice for Smurfette
Smurfette
When my Papa gets here, you're gonna be sorry!
[after Gargamel cuts her hair]
Gargamel
Your Papa is not coming, because your real Papa is already here.
Vexy
Yeah!
Gargamel
Now, you can either be a good girl and give me the formula, or you can spend the rest of your sad, pathetic existence being harvested in my new superpowered Smurfalator! Your call entirely, really. Up to you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Mistakes and Misunderstandings
Stephen Glass
I messed up, I made a huge error. I don't know what to say. If you want me to resign, I will.
Michael Kelly
I want you to tell me what happened.
Stephen Glass
They don't have mini bars at the Omni Shoreham Hotel. I guess I just saw all those little bottles and made an assumption, which I know we're never supposed to do. Those guys were drinking out of a rented refrigerator.
Michael Kelly
That's it?
Stephen Glass
Yeah.
Michael Kelly
The rest of piece is solid?
Stephen Glass
Yeah, of course.
Michael Kelly
Go home Stephen. Your resignation will not be required.
[chuckling]
Stephen Glass
Really? You're not mad?
Michael Kelly
Of course not.
Stephen Glass
Thanks for backing me.
Michael Kelly
It's what editors do.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gargamel's Concern for Azrael's Well-Being
Gargamel
Azrael? Are you dead?
[repeated line]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gargamel Discovers a Dark Magic Cauldron
Gargamel
Oh. Yes. It's a bit small, but it should do nicely! Oh, it's even got its own cauldron!
[impressed; climbs into the port-a-potty with Azrael]
Gargamel
What died in here? OPEN, OPEN, OPEN, OPEN, OPEN, OPEN!
[the port-a-potty shakes and thumping sounds can be heard]
Gargamel
Somebody's been working a dark and terrible magic in there!
[choking; coughs in disgust]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation Among Smurfs and Gargamel
Grouchy
Knock yourself out, Gargamel!
Gutsy
You have had that coming for about thirty years!
Gargamel
SMURFS!!!!!!!!
[as a Anjelou card flew by from the bumper and he grabs it]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cultural Identity and Performance Anxiety
Agador
Armand, mustn't you let me be in the show? Are you afraid of my Guatemalan-ness?
Armand
Your what?
Agador
My ]-ness, my natural heat. You're afraid I'm too primitive to be on the stage with your little ] rockettes, right?
[[Guatemala|Guatemalan; [W:estrogen|estrogen]
Armand
You're wright. I'm afraid of your heat.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation Between LAPD and a Suspect
Alan Marciano
Can I help you?
Vincent
Are you Alan Marciano?
Alan Marciano
Yeah. And who the fuck are you?
Vincent
Lieutenant Vincent Hanna, LAPD.
Alan Marciano
LA? This is Las Vegas! You don't have jurisdiction here!
Vincent
Las Vegas PD takes you into custody. You are extradited to Newark on a New Jersey warrant for smuggling cigarettes up from North Carolina three years ago, or you go to work for us. Cut and dried. That...is...it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gargamel's Call to Papa Smurf
Gargamel
Come to papa, Papa!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gargamel Seeks Smurf Thief's Whereabouts
Gargamel
We must find this Smurf thief. Ah, stop your complaining. If I were a Smurf, where would I go? You there, you there! Fancy pants! Have you seen any little blue men?
[he and Azrael walk around New York, searching for the Smurfs; Azrael meows; spots a businessman talking on the phone and approaches him]
Businessman
Absolutely, what price are we talking about?
[on the phone]
Gargamel
You're selling them?
Woman
Have you looked in the drawer, sweetie?
[on the phone]
Gargamel
Wait, what drawer?
[to the woman]
Woman
In the kitchen, Lily.
[on the phone]
Gargamel
Who is this Lily?
Man
Are you kidding? She's like the hottest girl in my apartment.
[on the phone]
Gargamel
Please, please. Please, young woodsman. What does the temperature of this Lily have to do with the finding of Smurfs?
[stops the man]
Man
Take your meds, man.
[to Gargamel; walks away]
Gargamel
What? I, I... IS EVERYONE IN THIS REALM COMPLETELY INSANE?! Oh, thank the gods. A local wizard. Excellent. Eh pardon me, wise sir? By any chance, have you seen any little blue men?
[confused; shouts; spots a peddlar; to the peddlar]
Peddlar
They're everywhere!
[laughs maniacally and walks away]
Gargamel
I knew it. I knew it! I told you we were close, Azrael!
Azrael
I know.
[unenthusiastically]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questionable Drug Use in a Comedy Scene
Armand
Why're you giving him drugs? What the (using the other bad word) It's Val. are Pirin tablets?
Agador
It's ] with the "A" and the "S" scraped off.
[[W:aspirin|aspirin]
Armand
My God, what a brilliant idea!
Agador
I know.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gargamel's Frustration with Nature
Gargamel
Let go! Cursed nature!
[getting his net caught in a tree]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Introductions Among Friends
Claude
Oh my stars and strips, Leuben! I cannot believe it is you!
Reuben
This is Polly.
Claude
Hi Polly. I am Claude.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gargamel's Reluctant Responsibility for Vexy and Hackus
Vexy
Father? It's feeding time.
Hackus
Hackus dizzy.
[wearily]
Gargamel
Oh, yes, I almost forgot. Apparently, I have to keep you alive. I hope you both appreciate what a tremendous burden this is upon me. All right, mind your manners.
[feeds Vexy and Hackus drops of Smurf essence]
Vexy
Thank you.
Gargamel
If you were real Smurfs, I'd be taking essence from you. I didn't hear a "thank you". Close enough.
[pause; Hackus burps]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gargamel and Azrael's Frustrating Exchange
Azrael
You moron!
[after a cellphone falls on his head; meowing furiously]
Gargamel
How dare you call me that?! I have bungled nothing! Well, Paris is over, my friend. We're back here in ]. I suggest you get used to it.
[gasps; as Azrael gets off him; [Rise of the Guardians|the Dark Ages]
Azrael
I want room service!
[meowing whining]
Gargamel
Aw, you want room service? Then why don't you yell out the window?!
[sarcastically]
Azrael
You asked for it!
[meowing angrily and hissing; shows claws as Gargamel gives him a warning]
Gargamel
Don't you show your claws at me unless you are prepared to use them, Mr. Pussy foot! Pussy foot! Pussy foot! Pussy foot!! Stop it! Not the face! Not the face! ] logo ending the movie with the
[gasps; as Azrael gets angry at Gargamel for calling him pussy foot, he attacks him and Gargamel screams; He falls to the ground, cutting to the [[w:Sony Pictures Animation|Columbia Pictures Releasing; [w: Motion Picture Association of America|MPAA rating]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.