Home Alone - Frustration Over Family Separation
Megan:
This is so pointless.
Buzz:
What?
Megan:
We're here rotting in this apartment, Kevin's at home, Mom's at the airport.
Buzz:
So?
Megan:
You're not at all worried about Kevin?
Buzz:
Why should I be? He's acted like a jerk one too many times, and now he caught it in the butt.
Megan:
He's so little and helpless. Don't you think he's flipped out?
Buzz:
The trout can use a couple of days in the real world.
Megan:
You're not worried that something might happen to him?
Buzz:
No, for three reasons: A, I'm not that lucky. Two, we have smoke detectors. And D, we live in the most boring street in the whole United States of America where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. Period.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Home Alone - Family Dynamics in a Crisis Situation
Kevin: [has a flashback to what his family told him the night before]
I made my family disappear!
Megan:
Kevin, you're completely helpless.
Linnie:
You know, Kevin, you're what the French call les incompétents.
Buzz:
Kevin, I'm going to feed you to my tarantula.
Jeff:
Kevin, you are such a disease!
Kate:
There are 15 people in this house, and you're the only one who has to make trouble.
Frank:
Look what you did, you little jerk!
Kevin: [smiles, to himself]
I made my family disappear.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Home Alone - Struggles with Packing a Suitcase
Kevin:
I don't know how to pack a suitcase. I've never done it once in my whole life!
Jeff:
Tough.
Kevin:
That's what Megan said.
Megan:
What did I say?
Jeff:
You told Kevin "Tough".
Megan:
The dope was whining about a suitcase. What was I supposed to do, shake his hand and say, "Congratulations, you're an idiot"?
Kevin:
I'm not an idiot!
Megan:
Oh, really? You're completely helpless! Everyone has to do everything for you.
Jeff:
She's right, Kev.
Kevin:
Excuse me, puke-breath, I'm a lot smaller than you! I don't know how to pack a suitcase!
Linnie:
Hey, I hope you didn't just pack crap, Jeff.
Jeff:
Shut up, Linnie.
Kevin:
You know what I should pack?
Jeff:
Buzz told you, cheek-face. Toilet paper and water.
Linnie:
Listen, Kev, what are you so worried about? You know Mom's gonna pack your stuff anyway. You're what the French call "les incompetents".
Kevin:
What?
Jeff: [throws his bag down the stairs which lands at Harry's feet]
Bombs away!
Linnie:
P.S. You have to sleep on the hide-a-bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he's gonna wet the bed.
Kevin: [jumps up and down in frustration as Harry looks up at him]
This house is so full of people, it makes me sick! When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone! Did you hear me? I'm living alone! I'm living alone!
Rod: [taps on the spider's tank]
Who's gonna feed your spider while we're gone?
Buzz:
He just ate a load of mice guts. He should be good for a couple weeks. Is it true French babes don't shave their pits?
Rod:
Some don't.
Buzz:
But they got nude beaches.
Rod:
Not in the winter.
Kevin:
Buzz?
Buzz:
Don't you know how to knock, phlegm-wad?
Kevin:
Can I sleep in your room? I don't wanna sleep with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he'll wet the bed.
Buzz:
I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass! Check it out. Old man Marley.
Rod:
Who's he?
Buzz:
You ever heard of the South Bend Shovel Slayer?
Rod:
No.
Buzz:
That's him. Back in 58, he murdered his whole family and half the people on this block... with a snow shovel. Been hiding out in this neighborhood ever since.
Rod:
If he's the shovel slayer, how come the cops don't arrest him?
Buzz:
Not enough evidence to convict. They never found the bodies. But everyone around here knows he did it. It'll just be a matter of time... before he does it again.
Rod:
What's he doing now?
Buzz:
He walks up and down the streets every night... salting the sidewalks.
Rod:
Maybe he's just trying to be nice.
Buzz:
No way. See that garbage can full of salt? That's where he keeps his victims. The salt turns the bodies into mummies.
Kevin: [whispering]
Mummies!
Buzz: [as Marley spots them, he quickly closes the curtains]
Yeow! Look out!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York - Repetitive Request for Kevin's Item
Peter:
This Kevin's? Give this to Kevin.
Kate: [tries to pass it to Frank, who waves her off; she passes it to Leslie instead]
Give this... Give this to Kevin.
Leslie:
Give this to Kevin.
Tracy:
Give this to Kevin.
Linnie:
Kevin.
Buzz:
Give this to Kevin.
Rod:
Give this to Kevin.
Sondra:
Give this to Kevin.
Megan:
Give this to Kevin.
Jeff:
Give this to Kevin.
Brooke:
Give this to Kevin.
Fuller: [notices elderly couple standing next to him instead of Kevin; passes bag up the line]
Here you go, Kevin. Kevin's not here.
Brooke:
Kevin's not here.
Jeff:
Kevin's not here.
Megan:
Kevin's not here.
Sondra:
Kevin's not here.
Rod: [passes bag to Linnie, skipping Buzz]
Kevin's not here.
Linnie:
Kevin's not here.
Tracy:
Kevin's not here.
Leslie: [passes bag to Kate, skipping Frank]
Kevin's not here.
Kate: [gives bag to Peter]
Kevin's not here.
Peter: [incredulously]
What?!
Kate: [laughs, but immediately gasps in shock, then screams at the top of her lungs in alarm; faints]
KEVIN!!!!!!!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York - Vacation Preparations and Concerns Among Family Members
Frank:
Where are my golf balls?
Tracy:
Anyone seen my sun block?
Sondra:
What's the point of going to Florida if you're gonna put on sun block?
Megan:
I don't care if I age like an old suitcase, I'm getting toasted.
Buzz:
Great, Now, you can be a skag with a slightly darker shade of skin.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.