Memorable Quotes from Jackie Gleason
20 quotesThe Essence of the Game
Eddie
Well, you don't leave much when you miss, do ya, Fat Man?
Minnesota Fats
That's what the game's all about.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Pursuing the Target Relentlessly
Buford T. Justice
Follow that sum bitch.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Buford T. Justice's Unyielding Determination
Buford T. Justice
I've said it before and I'll say it again. There is no way, no way that you could come from my lions. Soon as we get home, I'm gonna put a lump on your mama's head.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Nostalgia for Simpler Times in Comedy
Buford T. Justice
Gimme the good old days when a pair of boobs were a couple of dumb guys.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sheriff Justice's Warning to the Boys
Sheriff Buford T. Justice
Now, you boys just stay here and watch the car - might be some vandals around, wanna steal somethin'. So you boys just stay here and keep your hands on the car until one of my associates arrive. And don't go home. And don't go to eat. And don't play with yourself. Wouldn't look nice on my highway. You can think about it, but dooon't do it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sixth Sense vs. Dime Preference
Buford T. Justice
That is why you gotta have a sixth sense.
Junior
I'd rather have a dime.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Disrespect for the Law Explained
Sheriff Buford T. Justice
What we're dealing with here... is a complete lack of respect for the law.
[After trying to pass Snowman and being pit maneuvered]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sheriff's Reluctance to Disrobe in Nudist Scenario
Nudist Female
If you want to stay, Sheriff, you've got to take your clothes off.
Buford T. Justice
I don't even take my clothes off in front of my good wife, Wilhelmina.
Nudists
Awwwww.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Caught in a Figurative Situation
Buford T. Justice
I gotcha!
The Real Bandit
Hello, Buford. Well, you caught me with my pants down.
Buford T. Justice
I did?
The Real Bandit
That's a…figure of speech.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sheriff Justice Warns of Incoming Trouble
Sheriff Buford T. Justice
You got trouble comin'. My handle is Smokey Bear, and I'm tail-grabbin yo ass right now!
[On the CB radio, hailing the Bandit]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Father's Endearing Term for His Son
Junior
Does this mean I won't be your little tick turd anymore?
Buford T. Justice
Son, you'll always be my tick turd.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation and Acceptance of Boundaries
Sheriff Buford T. Justice
Apology accepted. Now, fuck off.
[a truck passes by, blowing its air horn and conveniently obscuring his profanity]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Loveable Character with Flaws
Buford T. Justice
He's dumb…but a loveable shit.
[''talking about Junior'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Clash of Wits and Humor
Little Enos
I'd like to kick your ass.
Buford T. Justice
You can't kick that high, cricket crotch.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Buford T. Justice on Retirement Discontent
Buford T. Justice
Junior, retirement is cat shit.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Authority and Insults in Small-Town Life
Sheriff Buford T. Justice
She insulted my town! She insulted my son! Shaddup! She insulted my authority! And that's nothin but pure and simple old-fashioned communism. Happens every time one of those dancers starts poon-tangin around with those show-folk fags! I can see her now... runnin back up that aisle. No, she was dancin back up the aisle. Her knockers bouncin all over the joint. Her ass was wigglin too!
[Junior starts to say something]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sheriff Reflects on Past Experiences
Buford T. Justice
Oof!
[''sees the girl's breasts'']
Girl at Picnic
What's wrong, Sheriff?
Buford T. Justice
I haven't seen anything like that since I was a little baby.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humor in Family Dynamics and Identity
Junior
Daddy, my face is all white.
Buford T. Justice
Well, put a little lipstick on, I'll drop you off at a gay bar.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sheriff's Frustration with Inefficiency
Sheriff Buford T. Justice
You sumbitches couldn't close an umbrella!
[Responding to a policeman who was unable to stop Bandit at a roadblock]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Buford T. Justice Expresses Frustration
Buford T. Justice
Will you get away from me, you shit?
[''yelling at Junior'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.