Memorable Quotes from Jake Johnson
8 quotesNostalgia for Authentic Dinosaurs
Claire
What is that?
[noticing the Jurassic Park t-shirt Lowery is wearing]
Lowery
Oh. I got off of eBay. Cost me $150, but the mint condition one was for $200, so, this was-
Claire
Don't you think that's in poor taste?
Lowery
I know. It was terrible. I mean, I know a lot of people died, but, that first park was just legit, you know? They didn't rely on all these genetic hybrids. They had real dinosaurs.
Claire
Just don't wear it again.
Lowery
Right. Okay, I won't.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Principal Dadier Addresses His Students
Principal Dadier
Alright, which one of you is Doug?
Principal Dadier
Alright, let's try that again and pretend you guys aren't weird.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Heavenly Encounter with Jesus and Neil Patrick Harris
Jesus
Neil Patrick Harris! Welcome to Heaven! I'm Jesus.
Neil Patrick Harris
Jesus?
Jesus
Christ. I practically run this place.
[Holds up crucifix around his neck]
Neil Patrick Harris
Oh, for reals?
Jesus
Well, my dad owns it, but I sort of–
Neil Patrick Harris
Ha-ha, you're one of those.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggles of Identity and Pressure in School
Principal Dadier
I am one more black gay kid getting punched in the face away from a nervous breakdown.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Handling Incidents in Jurassic World
Masrani
The very existence of this park is predicated on our ability to handle incidents like this. It was an eventuality, okay?
Lowery
You should put that in the brochure. "Eventually, one of these things will eat somebody.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Inevitability of Fate and Consequences
Chris Vail
You can't run. You can't escape. She's got plans for you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Future Expectations of Intimacy and Routine
Eli
Ten years from now you will be having sex with your wife. and it'll be in the missionary position. And one of you will be asleep.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Corporate Sponsorship in Jurassic World
Vivian
Did you close the deal?
Claire
Looks like it. Verizon Wireless presents the Indominus Rex.
Lowery
Ugh, that is so terrible. Why not just go the distance, and just let these corporations name the dinosaurs?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.