James CaanQuotes

Longbaugh: But, you know, then you got the other side. You got these trigger-happy cocksuckers all about the shooting and posturing and you don't know who I am kind of thing...”I been to prison.

Sarno: Cause you got caught, dumb fuck.

Longbaugh: These days, they want to be criminals more than they want to commit crime.

Joe Sarno: Well that's... that's not just crime. That's the way of the world.

Joe Sarno: [parting after Longbaugh rejects settlement offer, holding the handshake firm] Until that day, then, huh?

Joe Sarno: I'm the button man. I'm the guy you wake up to one night, maybe a year from now, maybe two. And all you'll see is a pillow over your face, and you'll hear a pop. Plenty more where I came from.

Joe Sarno: You want to know the only thing you can assume about a broken down old man? It's that he's a survivor.

Joe Sarno: [To his dying friend] Till that day...

Joe Sarno: Karma is justice without the satisfaction. I don't believe in justice.

Joe Sarno: Fifteen million dollars is not money. It's a motive with a universal adaptor on it.

Joe Sarno: I can promise you a day of reckoning you won't live long enough to never forget.

SSgt. Eddie Dohun: Colonel, if you don't look at him right now, he's going to die.

U.S. medical colonel: He's dead now.

Dohun: It would mean a lot to me, sir, if you'd check him out.

U.S. medical colonel: Come on, Sergeant! For Chrissakes get him out of here!

Dohun: [briefly goes out, returns; brandishes .45 Pistol; cocks the .45] Would you look at him please, sir. Right now. Or I'll blow your fuckin head off. Right now.

U.S. medical colonel: I can give him a quick examination if you like.

Dohun: Thank you very much, sir.

Capt. Glass: My problem is, I'm not totally crazy about the prospect of dying.

SSgt. Eddie Dohun: So don't die. Drinking that garbage isn't gonna keep you alive, is it?

Glass: What is?

Dohun: What is? Well, not gettin shot.

Glass: What can guarantee that?

Dohun: Nothing, for sure.

Glass: You will.

Dohun: I will what?

Glass: You tell me, Eddie. You tell me I won't die.

Dohun: Alright, you won't die.

Glass: No, no. Guarantee me. I want you to guarantee me I won't die.

Dohun: [seriously] I guarantee you.

Physician: [''Walks into examination room of medical clinic''] Okay. What have we got here?

Walter: [''Grabs Buddy's hand on third reach, and Buddy reveals the cotton balls in other hand in a magician's trick''] Buddy, don't eat those.

Physician: We got to really hurry up, Walter, because I'm double-booked for the rest of the afternoon.

Buddy: Am I sick?

Walter: Yeah, but that's not why we're here. We're here to do a test, come on.

Buddy: What kind of test?

Walter: It's just a test to find out if you're my son or not.

Buddy: Why am I sitting on paper?

Physician: Because it's sanitary for the other patients. Now, would you sit still so I can do the finger prick?

Buddy: [''Gasps''] Finger prick! Oh...! It's cold.

Physician: Yeah, just please sit still, please?

Buddy: Okay, can I listen to your necklace?

Physician: No, you can't.

Walter: Will you just sit still...?

Buddy: Why is there a skeleton over there?

Physician: I don't know. Walter, could you please...?

Buddy: [[w:pirate flag|a pirate flag] If I squint, it looks like ].

Physician: Could you please have him sit still?

Buddy: Does he have a name?

Walter: No, he hasn't got a name. I'm sorry, Ben. I am sorry.

Physician: I have a lot of sick patients waiting.

Walter: Would you please hold still? Please.

Buddy: He got mad at me.

Walter: Yes, he did. He did. The sooner you sit still, the sooner we can get this mess over with.

Buddy: Okay. Then can we eat sugar plums?

Walter: [[w:gingerbread house|gingerbread houses; [w:Easter eggs|paint eggs] You betcha. We'll eat sugar plums, make ], and we'll even ].

Buddy: [''The doctor pricks his finger''] Well, painting eggs, that's Easter. Ow!

Buddy: [''repeats''] Dad! I knew that you'd come, I love you for coming. Officer Tom, this is my Dad. This is Walter... he came. He bailed me out. They gave me one phone call. And I said," I know who I'm gonna call... Walter Hobbs. And sure enough, you showed up. You did, they said you weren't gonna show up. They told me so many times...

Walter: Shh. Just who the heck are you, and what is your problem?

Buddy: I'm Buddy. I'm your son.

Walter: Wait, um... Tell me, tell me, tell me, uh... Where did you get this picture?

Buddy: Papa Elf gave it to me.

Walter: [''Grabs Buddy and violently pins him to the wall''] Listen... is this some kind a game? What do you want, some money?

Buddy: No! I just wanted to meet you, And I thought you might wanna meet me.

Walter: Who wouldn't wanna meet you?

Buddy: I thought maybe we could make gingerbread houses, eat cookie dough, go ice skating, and... and maybe even hold hands.

Walter: Uh-huh. Come with me.

Buddy: Okay.

Walter: Hey, uh... I'm gonna eat in the bedroom, okay? I, uh, I got a bunch of stuff to go over.

Emily: Are you sure?

Walter: I'm... I'm just way behind on a bunch of stuff.

Emily: Okay.

Michael: Can I eat in my room?

Emily: No.

Michael: [''Mimics father's voice''] Why not? Dad's eating in his room. I got a bunch of homework to go over, and I'm way behind on a bunch of stuff.

Emily: You're eating here.

Client: So, you really think we should ship em?

Walter: [''Phone rings''] No, I think we should take a $30,000 bath so some kid can understand what happened? To a puppy and a frigging pigeon? Ship em. Yeah.

Secretary Deb: Mr. Hobbs? It's me on the intercom.

Walter: Go ahead.

Secretary Deb: [Buddy bursts into office] Yeah, I think some one sent you a Christmas-gram.

Buddy: Dad!

Walter: [''Chuckles''] All right, uh, let's get it Over with.

Buddy: I walked all day and night to find you.

Walter: [''Chuckles''] Uh, you look like you came from the North Pole.

Buddy: That's exactly where I came from. Santa must've called you!

Walter: Oh, yeah, sure, he, uh... Just got off the cell phone with me.

Buddy: You did?!

Walter: So, go on. Go on with what? Well, are... are you gonna sing a song or something, or can I just go back to work?

Buddy: A song? Uh... yeah. Anything for you, Dad, uh... I... I'm, I'm here with my dad and we never met and he wants me to sing him a song and, um, I was adopted but you didn't know I was born. So, I'm here now, I found you, Daddy and, guess what? I love you, I love you I love you!

Walter: Wow, that was weird. You know, usually you guys just uh, you know, Put my name into jingle bells or something.

Buddy: It's me, your son. Susan Wells had me, and... And she didn't tell you, and, and, and, but now I'm here... It's me buddy. Susan Wells.

Walter: Uh, you said Susan Wells?

Buddy: Yes.

Walter: Who sent this Christmas-gram?

Buddy: What's a Christmas-gram? I want one.

Walter: [''Whispers''] I think we should call security.

Secretary Deb: Good idea.

Buddy: [''Leans in as well''] I like to whisper, too. It's okay, Walter's my father.

Security Officer: Well, your dad's busy right now.

Buddy: Okay, I'll come back later.

Security Officer: Yeah, you know, you're not gonna come back for a while, okay? You're gonna go back to Santa Land.

Buddy: Okay.

Security Officer: [[w:Gimbels|Gimbels] Yeah, why don't you go back to ]?

Walter: [''In office''] A reprint? You know how much that's gonna cost?

Client: Two whole pages are missing. The story doesn't make any sense.

Walter: What, you think some kid's gonna notice two pages? I mean, they... all they do is look at pictures.

Nun: You're taking the books back?

Walter: See, I... I see what you're trying to do here. You're trying to make me feel bad, when, in actuality, you're the one that missed the payments.

Nun: But the children love the books.

Walter: I know that, uh... you know, I'm the one that ran the focus groups, but I like hearing that.

Annie Wilkes: Here's your pills.

Paul Sheldon: Annie? Annie, what is it?

Annie: The rain. Sometimes it gives me the blues. When you first came here, I only loved the writer part of Paul Sheldon. Now I know I love the rest of him, too. I know you don't love me. Don't say you do. You're beautiful, brilliant, a famous man of the world and I'm not a movie star type. You'll never know the fear of losing someone like you if you're someone like me.

Paul: Why would you lose me?

Annie: Book's almost finished. Your legs are getting better. Soon you'll be wanting to leave.

Paul: Why would I leave? I like it here.

Annie: [pulls out a gun; pulls the trigger; looks at Paul] That's very kind of you, but I'll bet it's not all together true. I have this gun. Sometimes I think about using it. I'd better go now. I might put bullets in it.

Annie Wilkes: You— You dirty bird, how could you?

Paul Sheldon: What?

Annie: She can't be dead! Misery Chastain cannot be dead!

Paul: Annie, in 1871 women often died during childbirth. But her spirit is the important thing, and Misery's spirit is still alive.

Annie: [shaking Paul's bed violently] I didn't want her spirit! I want her, and you murdered her!

Paul: No I didn't.

Annie: Who did?

Paul: No one, she— she died. She just slipped away.

Annie: [grabbing a bedstand and raising it over Paul] Slipped away? Slipped away? She didn't just slip away! You did it! You did it! You did it! You did it! You did it! You murdered my Misery!

Paul: Annie! Annie!

Annie: [smashing the bedstand against the wall] I thought you were good, Paul, but you're not good, you're just a lying ol dirty birdy. And I don't think I better be around you for a while. And don't even think about anybody coming for you. Not the doctors. Not your agent. Not your family, because I never called them. Nobody knows you're here. And you better hope nothing happens to me, because if I die, you die.

Annie Wilkes: I know I'm only 40 pages into your book, but...

Paul Sheldon: But what?

Annie: [shaking her head] Nothing.

Paul: No, what is it?

Annie: Well, it's ridiculous! Who am I to make a criticism to someone like you?

Paul: It's all right. I can take it.

Annie: Well, it's brilliantly written, but then, everything you write is brilliant.

Paul: Any rough stuff?

Annie: The swearing, Paul. There, I said it.

Paul: The, uh, profanity bothers you?

Annie: It has no nobility.

Paul: These are slum kids, I was a slum kid. Everybody talks like that.

Annie: [spills soup on Paul's bed] They do not! What do you think I say when I go to the feedstore in town? "Oh, now Wally, give me a bag of that F-in pig feed, and ten pounds of that bitchly cow corn"? And at the bank, do I tell Mrs. Bollinger, "Oh, here's one big bastard of a check, give me some of your Christ-ing money?" There! Look there! See what you made me do? I'm sorry.

Paul Sheldon: Here you want it, you want it?! Eat it! Eat it till ya choke, you sick, twisted fuck!