Jamie Demetriou

Jiminy: Hold up here, Pinoke. Boy, they ought to do something about the loose gravel on this road. One of these days, a heavy wagon is gonna fling one of these rocks and hurt somebody. What in Sam Hill do we pay taxes for?

Pinocchio: What are taxes?

Jiminy: Nothing you need to worry about, especially now that you're not gonna be famous. But here's what you do need to know about school: One, pay attention. Two, obey the rules. And three, do whatever the teacher tells you to do. Got it?

Pinocchio: [Jiminy hops off his shoulder] Got it. Aren't you coming with me?

Jiminy: Uh, no, Pinoke. Most schools don't take kindly to insects. They lump me in with wasps, cockroaches and termites. I'll be waiting for you when school lets out. Get you home by the stroke of 3:17.

Pinocchio: OK, Jiminy.

Jiminy: [to the viewers] Whoa! See what I mean?

Jiminy: [to the viewers] He's a good kid, right? And here's the good news: It seems Pinocchio is serious about becoming brave, truthful, and unselfish, and he listened to his conscience. I bet you were thinking I dropped the ball, but old Jiminy picked up the fumble, and it's smooth sailing from here.

Headmaster: [kicks him out while all the other children laugh at him; heads back inside, shutting the door behind him] Out! Get out! Get out, and stay out! School is for real children, not ridiculous puppets. Puppets belong in a puppet show. Get in. Come on.

Jiminy: [stunned; goes to walk over to him, but Honest John traps him in a jar, as he runs over to Pinocchio, except Gideon, who looks at Jiminy with a taunting grin before following his friend] Well, I'll be. Hey! What's the big idea?! Get me outta here! Lemme out!

Honest John: This is an outrage! An atrocity!

Pinocchio: I don't think that teacher likes me.

Honest John: [slaps Gideon in the face] Oh, who cares what he thinks? His pedagogy is completely outdated. Is his curriculum child-led? Brain-based for a growth mindset? I think not. He makes no room for different learning styles.

Pinocchio: He said I didn't belong. All the kids laughed at me.

Honest John: Of course they did. Puppets make people laugh. Oh, you poor, poor misunderstood boy. Don't you see? You don't fit in a traditional educational environment. You are misunderstood, just like every great actor who ever walked the Earth. School is for ordinary, humdrum, common, boring, silly little children! Not brilliant artists like yourself. It's fame you want. Fame and fortune.

Pinocchio: But my father…

Hones John: Wanted you to go to school and you did. You went to school. You gave it the old college try. And what did the wise and learned schoolmaster say?

Pinocchio: He said I belong in a puppet show.

Honest John: [gasps; holds his hand out to Pinocchio, who reaches out for it and shakes it anyway] Alas, a puppet show. I rest my case. Now we're talking!

Jiminy: No!

Honest John: To Stromboli's! Fame awaits!