Game Night - Future Game Nights and Friendships
Gary: [Max and Annie are hosting a game night and have kept it from Gary]
I do hope you keep me in mind for any future game nights.
Max:
Oh, you bet.
Gary:
I've always enjoyed the camaraderie of good friends competing in games of chance and skill.
Annie:
Yeah. Yeah, well, we'll do that, but tonight, it's just the two of us.
Gary:
Three bags of Tostito's Scoops, I notice.
Max:
There was a special on these tonight. Three for one.
Gary:
Three for one?
Max:
Yep.
Gary:
How can that be profitable for Frito Lay?
Max:
These corporations, I don't know what they're doing.
Gary:
Well, you two enjoy each other. It's often we don't appreciate what we have until it's gone.
Max: [Max and Annie wait, until they suddenly realize the conversation is over]
I think that's it.
Annie:
Okay. Bye-bye!
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Office Christmas Party - Unconventional Confessions at the Office Party
Mary: [grabs Josh's arm to stop him from leaving the mini-van]
Because I don't know what's gonna happen in there. Last year, I filed a sexual harassment complaint against myself.
Josh:
Against yourself. Mmm-hmm.
Mary:
Andrew, in the copy room, he was changing the toner. And I pretended to drop something on the ground so that I could bend over and graze his butt with my nose. And I did.
Josh:
That doesn't seem that bad.
Mary:
And then I said, "If you don't fuck me, buster, I will ruin you.
Josh Parker:
Hmm. That's harassment.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Office Christmas Party - Minivan Debate Among Friends
Josh:
Mary, why do you even have a minivan? You don't have kids.
Mary:
I buy in bulk!
Josh Parker:
Can this thing handle snow?
Mary:
Oh, please. It's a Kia. It's what God would drive.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Office Christmas Party - Embarrassment in Unlikely Confrontation
Josh Parker: [to the Russian thug whom Carol has pinned against the pool table]
You do not want to die at the hands of Lululemon here. It'd be real embarrassing. You're a large guy, and she's made of nothing but salad and Smartwater.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identity Thief - Communication Misunderstandings Between Friends
Sandy Patterson:
I said no jewelry.
Diana:
Oh, were you serious?
Sandy Patterson:
Yeah.
Diana:
You've got to work on your tone.
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Identity Thief - Misunderstood Compliments in a Diabolical Exchange
Sandy Patterson:
You're diabolical.
Diana:
Thanks.
Sandy Patterson:
That's not a compliment.
Diana:
I know.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identity Thief - Friendship and Identity Theft Concerns
Sandy Patterson:
Friends don't steal friends identities, do they?
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Hancock - The Ethics of Offering Free Medication
Ray:
We at Embrey Publicity would like to offer you the AllHeart symbol. Now you would be among a very select group of corporate giants to bear this logo on your product. And what this would say to the public is that your company, Pharmatopsis, had made a radical contribution to helping our world. And here is all you'd have to do to qualify: Your new TB drug, micadin, we would like you to give that product away, for free.
Businessman:
Did you say free?
Ray:
I did — only to those who really need it. Only to those who without it would otherwise die.
Businessman:
Alright. As a concept "free" is kind of up there with "lethal side effects—
Businessman 2:
Mandatory product recall.
Businessman:
Get indicted, going to jail —
Businessman 2:
Get out, work at IHOP the rest of your career—
Ray:
Understandable reactions — a radical concept — but it is the brand that represents a fairer and better world. The brand that everyone is talking about. ...Anyway — we can save the world. Someone's just got to go first. What do you say?
CEO:
Are you a crackpot?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.