Highlights
House of the Dragon Season 3 - Draw Your Sword Clip
House of the Dragon
Toy Story 5 - We Are All Toys Clip
Toy Story 5
Forbidden Fruits - Exclusive Interview
Forbidden Fruits
The Odyssey - Cast at the World Premiere
The Odyssey
Rooster - Officially Renewed for Season 2
Rooster
Dune: Part Three - Timothée Chalamet as Paul Atreides
Dune: Part Three
Hoppers - Premiere Puppet Sizzle Clip
Hoppers
House of the Dragon Season 3 - Emma D’Arcy at the World Premiere After-Party
House of the Dragon
Cape Fear Season 1 - Get Pumped Clip
Cape Fear
Dune: Part Three - Javier Bardem as Stilgar
Dune: Part Three
The Devil Wears Prada 2 - Runway Fallout Clip
The Devil Wears Prada 2
The Wrong Girls - Kristen Stewart and Alia Shawkat
The Wrong Girls
Mortal Kombat II - Exclusive Interviews
Mortal Kombat II
The Haunting of Hotel Transylvania - First Look at Mavis Dracula
The Haunting of Hotel Transylvania

Jay MohrQuotes

Jay Mohr
Birthday
August 23rd, 1970
From
Verona, New Jersey, USA
Actor

Cherry Falls - Class is No Longer in Session

Leonard Marliston: CLASS DISMISSED!!!

Cherry Falls - Hypocrisy and Innocence in Society's Shadows

Leonard Marliston: It's a stinking hypocritical world isn't it Brent where rapists become pillars of the community, with stinking hypocritical people in it who wouldn't miss their own befouled lives much so...so...so what better way than to take away the only innocence they have left...their precious virginal children.

Cherry Falls - Conflicted Love and Betrayal in Silence

Leonard Marliston: You never knew...oh how could how much she loved you before you raped her! And after you raped her there was no one to tell...except me...over and over and over again. It's very hard too look like the one person you're mom loves and hates the most.

Picture Perfect - Anticipating Conflict in Conversations

Nick: So how do you think it's going?
Kate Mosley: Um, fine, I guess. But, you know, if one of us doesn't start this fight pretty soon, um, everyone's gonna MISS it.

Picture Perfect - A Compliment in an Empty Room

Nick: [alone at the table with Kate, gazing upon her] I suddenly realized I haven't told you how beautiful you look tonight.
Kate Mosley: Oh, Nick, come on. Don't waste that stuff. Nobody's here. They can't hear you.

Picture Perfect - Coffee Preferences and Misunderstandings

Kate Mosley: Well, I mean, I think I should at least know how you take your coffee.
Nick: Well, I'm confused. You don't know? I mean, didn't you, uh, make me up?

Picture Perfect - College Experiences Shared Between Friends

Kate Mosley: You went to college, right?
Nick: Yeah, several.

Picture Perfect - A Tense Reunion with Unexpected Requests

Nick: [arriving early and unexpectedly at Kate's office; Kate plants a big, sudden kiss on Nick; in a low voice] It's good to see you again... I'm-I'm sorry, I didn't know we were on the clock yet.
Kate Mosley: [also in a low voice] Okay, just shush, grab my ass, kiss my neck, and pull me into the office, okay?
Nick: Uh, y... yeah... yeah... uh, yes, sir!

Picture Perfect - Questioning the Nature of Friendship

Nick: I'm looking for "Susan's Single Friend Kate." They told me they thought she came out here.
Kate Mosley: Yeah, that's me. Can I help you?
Nick: Don't you think that's, uh, kind of strange that she only had one friend?

Picture Perfect - Casual Attire and a Positive Attitude

Nick: [on the phone with Kate's mother] Right now? Uh, well... a pair of boxer shorts, a t-shirt and a smile.

200 Cigarettes - Complications of Casual Relationships

Jack: Look, what happened between us last night is like this ongoing problem with me. It happens all the time: I meet someone, we go home together, but then the next day it's...
Cindy: What? Next day what?
Jack: Well, they tell me that suddenly they've developed these feelings for me.
Cindy: What are you saying, that every woman you go home with falls in love with you or something?
Jack: Yes! It's like a curse! It never ends!
Cindy: A woman falls in love with you and you think that's a curse?
Jack: You have no idea!
Cindy: No! I don't! Because I think you're lucky! I mean, there are some people who wait their entire lives for somebody to tell them they feel that way about them, and you, you just throw it away like it's nothing, like it's a minor inconvenience! Well let me tell you something, Jack, you are cursed - just not the way you think you are.

Go - Assessing the Consequences of Choices Made

Zack: It really didn't go as bad as it could have.
Adam: A girl is dead, Zack.
Zack: I didn't say it went perfectly.

Small Soldiers - Concerns Over Chips and Electromagnetic Pulse

Larry Benson: Great! All we need now is a nuclear warhead.
Stuart Abernathy: I'll check, but I don't think I have one in the junk drawer.
Phil Fimple: Nuclear warhead"? What are you talking about?
Larry Benson: It's the chips! They're not shielded against an electromagnetic pulse. A nuclear blast would wipe them out.
Irwin Wayfair: That's why the military never used them.
Stuart Abernathy: Well, what kind of moron would put military technology in toys?
Irwin Wayfair: [pointing at Larry] Oh, that would be "Gizmo" over here.

Small Soldiers - Negotiation Turns Hostile in Small Soldiers Scene

Phil Fimple: [[w:Gorgonzola|Gorgonzolas] Hi! I'm Phil Fimple. I'm here to negotiate the surrender of the, uh... ]. Now here's our proposal: take them!
Insaniac: [listening from inside; [w:Benedict Arnold|Arnold Benedict!] Hey! He's selling us down the river! The guy's a regular ]
Phil Fimple: [notices speakers covered by a net] I mean, switch em off, take em apart, steal their batteries, whatever it is you... people do. Hey... is that my JVC?!
Chip Hazard: There will be no surrender! There will be no mercy! All Gorgonite scum must die!
Link Static: Yeah! Bomb em all the way back to preschool!
Chip Hazard: Recon estimates Gorgonite scum strength at 16!
Christy Fimple: Sixteen? Where'd they get sixteen from?
Larry Benson: Seven Gorgonites and nine people.
Phil Fimple: [nervously] Well, you heard our proposal...
Stuart Abernathy: [opening the door] Phil, get in here! Hurry!
Chip Hazard: These negotiations are over!
Chip Hazard: We are the Commando Elite! Everything else... is just a toy!
Alan Abernathy: What are they doing?
Irene Abernathy: Psychological warfare.
Christy Fimple: [[w:Manuel Noriega|Noriega] The Marines did this against ].
Marion Fimple: Phil? Phil!
Marion Fimple: I love this song!

Small Soldiers - Debate on Reality of Living Toys

Phil Fimple: [pointing at Archer; [w:Fairy with Turquoise Hair|Blue Fairy; [w:Talking Cricket|talking cricket?!] Is this entire household insane?! He says that toy is alive just because it can move a little? What's next, the ] drops by with a ]
Christy Fimple: Dad, he's telling the truth!
Phil Fimple: He's brainwashed you, hasn't he? Don't worry, honey. We'll get you the best deprogrammer money can buy.
Slamfist: [listening in from a shelf] You can't change programming.
Marion Fimple: [still intoxicated] Look! Another one...
Alan Abernathy: See? I told you they were hiding. It's what they do.
Phil Fimple: That's it. Come on, Christy. Timmy, Marion, we're out of here.
Stuart Abernathy: Hey, don't be a stranger, Phil.
Irwin Wayfair: Hi. Uh, yes, we're with Heartland Play Systems, Consumer Satisfaction. Is there an Alan Abernathy here?
Timmy Fimple: [points at Alan] That's Alan, right there.
Larry Benson: How you doing? We understand you acquired some of our fine products.
Irwin Wayfair: There's a chance they might be... defective.
Larry Benson: But there's no reason to think they could do any harm.
Stuart Abernathy: Oh, there's reasons!
Alan Abernathy: There is a problem with the Commandos.
Larry Benson: Really? What kind of problem? Bear in mind, you will be called into court to support your claim.
Stuart Abernathy: YOUR TOYS NEARLY KILLED MY SON!
Irene Abernathy: Stuart--
Stuart Abernathy: [to Phil] Don't say "calm down"! Calm was killing me. And you! You owe my son an apology!

Small Soldiers - The Potential and Pitfalls of Advanced Technology

Ralph Quist: The X1000 is a masterpiece. Imagine a microchip sophisticated enough to control the guidance systems of ballistic missiles. Imagine it can be used to instantly upgrade any system that it's plugged into, like a smart drug for machines. Then imagine it can learn.
Irwin Wayfair: [nervously; [artificial intelligence] Wh-What are you talking about, ]?
Ralph Quist: No. Actual intelligence. It's no wonder those philistines at the Pentagon didn't appreciate it. One little flaw, and they scrap the whole project!
Irwin Wayfair: Ah-ha, so there is a flaw in the chips.
Ralph Quist: Well... they're a little sensitive to EMP.
Irwin Wayfair: [[w:Electromagnetic pulse|Electromagnetic pulse] EMP? ]?
Ralph Quist: [scoffs; [w:House of Medici|Medicis; [w:Michelangelo|Michelangelo; sneezes] Yeah, the kind generated by the detonation of a nuclear device? I doubt even the toy industry has become quite that competitive! They said adequate shielding wasn't cost-effective. Did the ] ever tell ] "Sorry, Mike, but marble's not really cost-effective, here's a bag of cement"?! I think not!
Irwin Wayfair: Gesundheit.
Ralph Quist: Thank you.
Larry Benson: Look, there really shouldn't be any problem, right? Just because the chips can learn.
Ralph Quist: Am I not being clear? They can learn within the boundaries of their primary programming. Whatever the core programming, the X1000 enhances it from within. So, if you've got a problem, it's in your software.

Small Soldiers - Concerns About Toy Safety and Standards

Irwin Wayfair: We can't have toys out on the market that may be dangerous.
Larry Benson: [realizing] How can they be dangerous? Everything on them is standard. The design is standard, the materials are standard, the mechanicals are standard. Even the-- Oh.
Irwin Wayfair: What's "Oh"?
Irwin Wayfair: You just said "Oh.
Larry Benson: No, l said "Oh.
Irwin Wayfair: Err, "Oh" like "That's interesting", or "Oh" like "We're screwed"?
Larry Benson: No. l mean, hey, whoa, oh. Look, forget the "Oh." I'll go to Legal to start on the countersuit, all right--
Irwin Wayfair: The chips! That's the "Oh"!
Irwin Wayfair: Yeah. These micro-processing chips, what do they do and where did you get them from?
Larry Benson: They, you know, micro-process. And they come from the land of "I Saved Your Job." Come on.
Irwin Wayfair: [looks up the chips on his computer; shocked] They were designed for the Department of Defense. You put munitions chips in toys?!

Small Soldiers - Innovative Ideas for Next-Generation Toys

Gil Mars: [[w:Mount Rushmore|Mt. Rushmore; [Abraham Lincoln; [w:Claudia Schiffer|Claudia Schiffer] Y'know what I'm sick of? I'm sick of commercials that show us 4x4 trucks popping up to the top of ] and parking on top of ]'s head, okay? I'm sick of shampoo commercials that try to convince women that they can look like ] after one cycle of rinse and repeat. What if these toys could actually talk? What if they could walk? What if they could actually kick ass? I'm talking about toys that are so smart, when kids play with them, they play back. Toys, in short, gentlemen, that actually do what they do in the commercials.
Irwin Wayfair: Well, that's an interesting idea.
Gil Mars: [[w:Eveready Battery Company|Eveready] Forget about this batteries-not-included crap. We're gonna stick in a lifetime Globotech lithium cell. Keep these things running forever. That'll piss off the guys at ].
Larry Benson: [chuckles] Yeah. Hey, how's this for a slogan? "The Commando Elite: Anything else is just a toy.
Gil Mars: Everything else is just a toy.
Larry Benson: Th-That's good, too. Sure.
Irwin Wayfair: Uh, sir? Uh, you know, that kind of, uh, computing power doesn't really seem feasible right now, and--
Larry Benson: Irwin, Irwin. We're members of the GloboTech family. Surely, we can hunt down that technology.
Gil Mars: We can make missiles that can hunt down one unlucky bastard 7,000 miles away and stick a nuclear warhead right up his ass. I don't think we're gonna have a problem with this.

Small Soldiers - The Disillusionment of Corporate Reality

Larry Benson: Pretty exciting, huh?
Irwin Wayfair: [[Toys; [joy; [profit] I don't know. I think it's kinda sad. I mean, you know Heartland ] has a long tradition of bringing ] to kids, ya know? Gil Mars isn't going to care about any of that. He's just gonna care about ]s. I think it sucks.
Larry Benson: [[Earth] Welcome to ], Irwin. You may not be familiar with our company, but this is pretty much the way things work down here in the real world.
Irwin Wayfair: Yeah, well, the real world sucks.

Pay It Forward - The Challenge of Helping Others

Trevor McKinney: [A beat.; A beat.] It's hard. You can't plan it. You have . . . you have to watch people more. You know, sort of, sorta keep an eye on em. To protect em, cause . . . they can't always see what they need. It's - it's like your big chance to fix something that's not like your bike. You can fix a person.
Chris Chandler: Is that what you want for your birthday? Everybody to pay it forward?
Trevor McKinney: I can't ask for that.
Chris Chandler: [A beat.] Sure, you can. Why not?
Trevor McKinney: It wouldn't work.
Chris Chandler: [A beat.] Why?
Trevor McKinney: I already blew out my candles.

Pay It Forward - A Conversation About Pride and Uncertainty

Chris Chandler: Hi, I'm Chris Chandler, and I'm joined today by a very unusual seventh grader, Trevor McKinney. Trevor, you must be pretty proud of yourself.
Chris Chandler: [A beat.] So, you're not proud at all?
Trevor McKinney: I don't know. I guess.
Chris Chandler: Come on. You start a movement like Pay It Forward. You're not proud?
Trevor McKinney: I guess. I mean, I - I got an A in Social Studies, but, uh, that was just for the effort. I mean, stuff I did, it didn't really work out.
Chris Chandler: You're here.
Trevor McKinney: [A beat.; A beat.; A beat.; A beat.] Yeah, but . . . I don't know. I tried real hard, but . . . nothing really happened. My mom's stuff worked. She talked to my grandma. Kinda made up with her. It was really hard for her. It was great for me, cause my grandma came to my birthday party. And I had really missed her. And that's why Pay It Forward went all those places. Cause my mom. Cause she was so brave. My stuff, I . . . I don't know. I think some people are too scared or something to think that things can be different. And - I mean, the world's - the world's not exactly . . . shit. I guess it's hard for some people who are so used to things the way they are, even if they are, to change. And they kinda give up. When they do, everybody kinda . . . kinda lose.

Pay It Forward - A Moment of Reflection on Faith

Pay It Forward - The Concept of Paying It Forward

Thorsen: I thanked him and there were some very specific orifices in which I was told to shove my thanks. He told me, "Just pay it forward." Three big favors for three other people. That's it.
Chris Chandler: So it's like a pass-it-on thing, then. Wait a minute. You and this lowlife are in this chain of do-gooders, some kind of Mother Theresa conga line? That's a little New-Agey for you, isn't it? Sort of Tibetan? What, are you in a cult?
Thorsen: [[lawsuit] If you mention my name, you'll be selling your kidneys to pay for your ]. Cult.
Chris Chandler: Hey, the guy. What was the guy's name?
Thorsen: [as he's walking away] Sorry, I'm late for my mass wedding.

Pay It Forward - Gift of a Car Without Strings

Chris Chandler: You want me to drive home in your car?
Thorsen: No, I want you to take my car. Had a lot of luck lately. I don't need it.
Chris Chandler: You're giving me a brand new Jaguar, and you don't want anything?
Thorsen: I can prove it. Give me your card.
Thorsen: I'll be in touch.
Chris Chandler: Whoa, what is this? What, you want me to kill your wife or something?
Thorsen: No. Tempting, but no. Call it generosity between two strangers.

Playing by Heart - Unfiltered Truths About Love and Loss

Mildred:: I never loved your father. Not for a minute.
Mark:: Wow. You're...good at this.
Mildred: I was so relieved when he died.
Mark: Geez Mom, don't hold anything back.