Home Alone - Struggles with Packing a Suitcase
Kevin:
I don't know how to pack a suitcase. I've never done it once in my whole life!
Jeff:
Tough.
Kevin:
That's what Megan said.
Megan:
What did I say?
Jeff:
You told Kevin "Tough".
Megan:
The dope was whining about a suitcase. What was I supposed to do, shake his hand and say, "Congratulations, you're an idiot"?
Kevin:
I'm not an idiot!
Megan:
Oh, really? You're completely helpless! Everyone has to do everything for you.
Jeff:
She's right, Kev.
Kevin:
Excuse me, puke-breath, I'm a lot smaller than you! I don't know how to pack a suitcase!
Linnie:
Hey, I hope you didn't just pack crap, Jeff.
Jeff:
Shut up, Linnie.
Kevin:
You know what I should pack?
Jeff:
Buzz told you, cheek-face. Toilet paper and water.
Linnie:
Listen, Kev, what are you so worried about? You know Mom's gonna pack your stuff anyway. You're what the French call "les incompetents".
Kevin:
What?
Jeff: [throws his bag down the stairs which lands at Harry's feet]
Bombs away!
Linnie:
P.S. You have to sleep on the hide-a-bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he's gonna wet the bed.
Kevin: [jumps up and down in frustration as Harry looks up at him]
This house is so full of people, it makes me sick! When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone! Did you hear me? I'm living alone! I'm living alone!
Rod: [taps on the spider's tank]
Who's gonna feed your spider while we're gone?
Buzz:
He just ate a load of mice guts. He should be good for a couple weeks. Is it true French babes don't shave their pits?
Rod:
Some don't.
Buzz:
But they got nude beaches.
Rod:
Not in the winter.
Kevin:
Buzz?
Buzz:
Don't you know how to knock, phlegm-wad?
Kevin:
Can I sleep in your room? I don't wanna sleep with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he'll wet the bed.
Buzz:
I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass! Check it out. Old man Marley.
Rod:
Who's he?
Buzz:
You ever heard of the South Bend Shovel Slayer?
Rod:
No.
Buzz:
That's him. Back in 58, he murdered his whole family and half the people on this block... with a snow shovel. Been hiding out in this neighborhood ever since.
Rod:
If he's the shovel slayer, how come the cops don't arrest him?
Buzz:
Not enough evidence to convict. They never found the bodies. But everyone around here knows he did it. It'll just be a matter of time... before he does it again.
Rod:
What's he doing now?
Buzz:
He walks up and down the streets every night... salting the sidewalks.
Rod:
Maybe he's just trying to be nice.
Buzz:
No way. See that garbage can full of salt? That's where he keeps his victims. The salt turns the bodies into mummies.
Kevin: [whispering]
Mummies!
Buzz: [as Marley spots them, he quickly closes the curtains]
Yeow! Look out!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York - Repetitive Request for Kevin's Item
Peter:
This Kevin's? Give this to Kevin.
Kate: [tries to pass it to Frank, who waves her off; she passes it to Leslie instead]
Give this... Give this to Kevin.
Leslie:
Give this to Kevin.
Tracy:
Give this to Kevin.
Linnie:
Kevin.
Buzz:
Give this to Kevin.
Rod:
Give this to Kevin.
Sondra:
Give this to Kevin.
Megan:
Give this to Kevin.
Jeff:
Give this to Kevin.
Brooke:
Give this to Kevin.
Fuller: [notices elderly couple standing next to him instead of Kevin; passes bag up the line]
Here you go, Kevin. Kevin's not here.
Brooke:
Kevin's not here.
Jeff:
Kevin's not here.
Megan:
Kevin's not here.
Sondra:
Kevin's not here.
Rod: [passes bag to Linnie, skipping Buzz]
Kevin's not here.
Linnie:
Kevin's not here.
Tracy:
Kevin's not here.
Leslie: [passes bag to Kate, skipping Frank]
Kevin's not here.
Kate: [gives bag to Peter]
Kevin's not here.
Peter: [incredulously]
What?!
Kate: [laughs, but immediately gasps in shock, then screams at the top of her lungs in alarm; faints]
KEVIN!!!!!!!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.