Jennifer CoolidgeQuotes

Ms. Suggs: Tell me something, Anthony. Are you a senior citizen?

Anthony: No, ma'am.

Ms. Suggs: [Anthony speeds up the minivan; Anthony does so; Anthony turns right. Just then, his cell phone vibrates] Good. Then why're you driving 15 miles an hour in a 25-mile zone? C'mon, speed it up. That's right. That is right. Boy. Change lanes. Now, I want you to take a right up here. Celia's calling.

Anthony: It's my girlfriend. Probably wants to talk prom plans. Tonight's the prom. Well, I'll just ignore that.

Ms. Suggs: Seems like she's very anxious to talk to you.

Anthony: No, no, no, I'm driving. I would never answer the phone when I'm driving. No, no matter what circumstance.

Ms. Suggs: But, y'know, proms don't happen every day.

Anthony: That's true. You sure? It'll just be like super quick. It's not...

Ms. Suggs: What's important to you is important to me.

Anthony: [answers his phone] Hey, Celia. I can't really talk right now, but...

Ms. Suggs: Put! The phone! Down!

Anthony: [turns to Miss Suggs] What?

Ms. Suggs: [in a demanding tone] Put that mobile device down, NOW! HEY, EYES ON THE ROAD!

Anthony: [nearly hits another car and swerves off the road; hits several parking meters while screaming] AAAH!! NO, NO!!!

Ms. Suggs: [Anthony pulls back into the DMV and stops] YOU'RE GONNA KILL US!! AAAAH!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHAT ARE YOU-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU FOOL?!

Anthony: [angrily] You tricked me!

Ms. Suggs: [stamps "FAIL" on the clipboard] Get outta this car. You get out of this car!

Anthony: You're EVIL!

Ms. Suggs: You prom creep!

Ben: I don't think he passed.

Ms. Suggs: [Anthony swings open the door, only to get a literal door prize from a passing Impala. The door slides right to the Coopers] Get out! GET OUT!

Steve: What's up?

Hottie Cop: Do you know you were doing 50?

Doug: [whispers to Steve] Hottie cop likes you. Think she pulls over just anybody? Make a move.

Steve: What's up?

Hottie Cop: Just giving you an $80 ticket.

Doug: [whispers to Steve] She is so into you

Hottie Cop: I want you to do me a favor.

Steve: What ever you say, "T.J. Hooker".

Hottie Cop: (laughs) Please obey all posted speed limits. Have a good night

Steve: It's already been good, now that you have served and protected me.

Doug: Way to go brother! You got her badge number and you got a date to meet her at the Municipal State Court. Up top. Very nice! Yeah!

Stifler's Mom: I once caught Steven sticking my hairbrush up his ass. It wasn't the handle side either.

White Bitch: This crystal will finally put an end to the resistance. I will start a series of earthquakes that will collapse all of Gnarnia and grow a new continent where only I and my followers will live.

Bink: [[w:Superman Returns|Superman Returns] Yo, Bitch, that's pretty much the plot of ].

White Bitch: Pretty much, yeah.

Edward: [[w:50 Cent|50 Cent] I even got a tattoo with your name on it! (takes off his shirt, exposing what appears to be ]'s tattoo)

White Bitch: That looks more like 50 Cent's tattoo, you idiot!

Edward: Shit! They did the wrong one!

White Bitch: Behold, my White Castle. (she points to a White Castle restaurant across from them)

Edward: White Castle? I think I've been there before.

Willy: Who wants to chew my gumballs?

Peter: Monobrow! Monobrow! King wants a monobrow!

Peter: (as Superman) You shot me in the freaking eye! That really hurts! Why would you do that?! That was so unnecessary! You bastard!

Kanye West look-alike: (while Lucy is viewing the camera from Mr. Tumnus) The White Bitch doesn't care about black people.

Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: Shit, bitch, I'm always yelling! I'm Samuel god damn Jackson!

Borat look-alike: Jagshemash! My name-a Borat. You did it! You made moviefilm have happy ending! (the water wheel runs over the orphans) Not!

White Bitch: I hate those fucking kids.

Paris Hilton look-alike: I'm so hot. (yells as she gets crushed by Susan, who was thrown off the plane)

White Bitch: (trying to read) The... keeds... have... esca-puh-duh.

Paulette: Ooh... the bend and snap! I did that last night naked.

Serena: You didn't.

Paulette: I busted a window.

Congresswoman: [looking over her new hairdo] You have the full support of the Sunshine State!

Paulette: Thank you Ohio!

Paulette: Take this sentence. The dragon enters blank. If any adverb fits into that sentence, it makes sense.

Paulette: Her Beagle's name is Dolly Madison, which was my grandma's stripper name!

Paulette: Or something really classy-like white leather! I'll call the guy who did my car seats!

Paulette: Oh My God! You look like the Fourth of July! It makes me want a hot dog real bad!

Paulette: Who's ready to discharge?! Or petition a bill...or whatever!

Scott Donlan: She looks like a cocktail waitress on an oil rig.

Sherri Ann Cabot: Leslie and I have an amazing relationship and it's very physical, he still pushes all my buttons. People say oh but he's so much older than you and you know what, I'm the one having to push him away. We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.

Stefan Vanderhoof: If you're ever buying a shampoo sink go right to the Dutch. The French know nothing about shampooing.

Christy Cummings: We started this magazine, "American Bitch". It's a focus on the issues of the lesbian pure bred dog owner.

Leonard Crabbe: I'm a model train enthusiast.

Amber Cole: Oh! That's great!

Leonard Crabbe: Yes... sort of a whole layout in my basement. Very much a big passion for me, tis.

Amber Cole: Yeah. Thank God for model trains.

Leonard Crabbe: Oh, absolutely.

Amber Cole: You know, if they didn't have the model train, they wouldn't have gotten the idea for the big trains.

Amber Cole: [referring to her working relationship with Wally Fenton] We work together very well. It's almost as like we have one brain that we share between us.

Fiona: Where are your prizes? Winners get prizes.

Gabriella: We didn't win, Mom. Some girl stole it from us.

Fiona: I am very, very, very, very upset about this.

Brianna: You don't look upset.

Fiona: Oh, it's the Botox. I can't show emotion for another hour and a half.

Fiona: [to Rhonda, biting her freshly manicured nail] I'm a very appealing person.

Fiona: [to Sam] Sweetheart, now that you're old enough, there's something I've always wanted to tell you and I think you're ready to hear it: you're not very pretty and you're not very bright. I'm so glad we had that talk.

Finch: So, ah, would you object if I said you were quite striking?

Stifler's Mom: Mister Finch, are you trying to seduce me?

Finch: Yes ma'am, I am.

Finch: You have anything to drink?

Stifler's Mom: I believe the kegs are upstairs.

Finch: That is what the cretins drink. I'm talking about alcohol, liquor...the good stuff.

Stifler's Mom: I've got some Scotch.

Finch: Single malt?

Stifler's Mom: Aged 18 years. The way I like it.