Stan Podolak:
But that's all right, you can call me Sherm if you want to because I've followed your whole career and I think you're the greatest athlete that's ever lived. Michael Jordan: [Trying to get out of the car]
Stan. Stan. Stan. How do I get outta here? The door doesn't work. Stan Podolak: [Gets out of the car; Taps the car door and opens it]
Oh! I'm sorry. I-I- I forgot to tell you it's a classic. It's a classic, but it's got a few peccadilloes. Hold on just a second. Michael Jordan: [Gets out of the car]
Huh, a few, huh? It's smoking too, man. You need to get that checked. Stan Podolak: [Looking at the house]
Oh. Oh, this is nice. This is a nice house. Oh, that is a beauty. What is that, Colonial? Stan Podolak:
If you need anything done around the house, I'd be more than happy to help you out. Michael Jordan:
Tomorrow, I'ma drive, so I don't need the ride. But thanks, though. Jordan's housekeeper: [Runs out and sees Michael; To Charles]
Mr. Jordan, are you okay? Get off of him, Charles! Come on!
Jordan's housekeeper: [Grabs Charles by the collar, pulling him away]
Come on, Charles! Get off of him! Pooch, stop it! Get off of him before I cook you! Come on, come on, come on, baby, come on.
Kids:
Bye, Mr. Jordan.
Jeffery Jordan:
I don't wanna talk about it.
Marcus Jordan: [Running past him]
Hi, dad!
Passengers: [Driving by and waving to Michael]
Bye Michael!
Juanita Jordan: [Kisses him]
Ooh! You're all covered up with drool, baby. Juanita Jordan:
Well, he went 2 for 5 and lost 32 points in his batting average. Juanita Jordan:
Yeah, so that puts him at, like, uh, 685 or something. Jordan's housekeeper:
Chicken.
Jordan's housekeeper:
Chicken and collard greens.
Michael Jordan: [Housekeeper chuckles and Michael feels sad]
Good. I'ma need a good meal tonight. Michael Jordan:
Boy, I stunk up the place. I hope this baseball's thing is a good idea. Jim Rome:
It was another career day for Michael Jordan at Barons Field this afternoon. Let's face it. This baseball... Michael Jordan: [He goes into the living room and sees the news on TV, and sits down to watch]
What are you guys watching? Jim Rome:
Today he went 0 for 4 with three strikeouts. Jim Rome:
That brings his batting average down to an anemic .214, which also happens to be his playing weight. Baseball bat? Get this guy a tennis racket! Jeffrey Jordan:
Did everyone get mad at you?
Jim Rome:
Michael, I know golf is your sport, but not here. Jeffrey Jordan:
I think you should open your stance a little. It might make you more aggressive at the plate.
Jim Rome:
Watching this hurts me more than it hurts you. What is that? Michael Jordan: [Picks up the remote]
What are you guys doing watching that stuff? It's bad for you. Michael Jordan: [Gets up and goes into the kitchen]
There you go, Road Runner. Beep-beep, here. Looney Tunes. Road Runner:
Beep beep!
Porky Pig: [Jumps in front of the screen, stammering; Panting to Wile E. and Road Runner, stammering; Jeff sighs]
Stop this cartoon! We got an emergency cartoon character union meeting to go to.
Road Runner: [Running off]
Beep-beep!
Porky Pig: [Running after him]
Hey, wait for me! Hold your horses!
Marcus Jordan:
Dang. Where'd they go?