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Johnny Depp Quotes

Actor
Ebenezer - First Look at Johnny Depp as Ebenezer Scrooge
Ebenezer - First Look at Johnny Depp and Ian McKellen
Ebenezer - First Look at Johnny Depp and Ti West
Day Drinker - First Look Johnny Depp

Memorable Quotes from Johnny Depp

100 quotes
The Humiliation of Raisins Explained
Sam You don't like raisins?
Joon Not really.
Sam Why?
Joon They used to be fat and juicy and now they're twisted. They had their lives stolen. Well, they taste sweet, but really they're just humiliated grapes. I can't say I am a big supporter of the raisin council.
Sam Did you see those, those raisins on TV? The ones that sing and dance and stuff?
Joon They scare me.
Sam Yeah me too.
Joon It's sick. The commercial people they make them sing and dance so people will eat them.
Sam It's a shame about raisins.
Disagreement Over Driving Preferences
Bela Lugosi I refuse to drive in this country. Too many madmen.
Ed Wood Well... I have a car.
Accusations of Story Theft
John Shooter You stole my story.
Mort Rainey I'm sorry... I don't believe I know you.
John Shooter I know that. That doesn't matter. I know you, Mr. Rainey; that's what matters. You stole my story.
Mort Rainey You're mistaken. I don't read manuscr-
John Shooter You read this one already. You stole it.
Mort Rainey I can assure you that-
John Shooter I know you can; I know that. I don't wanna be assured.
Mort Rainey If you want to talk to someone about some grievance you may have, you can call my literary agent.
John Shooter This is between you and me. We don't need any outsiders, Mr. Rainey; it is strictly between you and me.
Mort Rainey All right. Look, Mr. Whoever-You-Are. I don't like being accused of plagiarism, if that is in fact what you're accusing me of. Chico, inside!
John Shooter I don't blame you for not likin it, but you did it.
Mort Rainey You're gonna have to leave; I have nothing more to say.
John Shooter Yeah, I'll go. We'll talk more later.
Mort Rainey I'm not taking that.
John Shooter Won't do you any good to play games, Mister Rainey. This has got to be settled.
Mort Rainey So far as I'm concerned, it is.
Tonto's Search for the Missing Girl
Tonto Where is girl?!
[Shouting to John after he saved the passengers]
Confronting the Consequences of Creation
Mort Rainey What is happening to me?
John Shooter Oh, I think you know. I think you have a real good idea.
Mort Rainey You don't exist.
John Shooter Me? I exist, Mr. Rainey. I exist because... you made me. You thought me up. Gave me my name. Told me everything you wanted me to do. I did them things so you didn't have to. Didn't have the stomach to do it yourself, but you knew I did. Are we done yet? We got things all cleaned up around here? What's the real reason I come for?
[''Flashbacks show Mort killing Ken Karsch and Tom Greenleaf and setting fire to his ex-wife's house, wearing Shooter's hat'']
Mort Rainey Fix the story.
John Shooter That's right.
Mort Rainey Fix the ending. Got to fix the ending.
John Shooter And how exactly do you suppose we ought to do that?
[''Shooter places his hat in Mort's hands as Amy's car pulls into the driveway'']
The Burden of Unfiltered Thoughts
Rochester I don't mean to upset people, but I must speak my mind. For what's in my mind is far more interesting than what's outside my mind.
Alcock Makes you impossible to live with, though. You see?
A Bold Declaration of Unlikability
Rochester Allow me to be frank at the commencement. You will not like me. The gentlemen will be envious and the ladies will be repelled. You will not like me now and you will like me a good deal less as we go on. Ladies, an announcement: I am up for it, all the ]. That is not a boast or an opinion, it is bone hard medical fact. I put it round you know. And you will watch me putting it round and sigh for it. Don't. It is a deal of trouble for you and you are better off watching and drawing your conclusions from a distance than you would be if I got my tarse up your petticoats. Gentlemen. Do not despair, I am up for that as well. And the same warning applies. Still your cheesy erections till I have had my say. But later when you shag – and later you will shag, I shall expect it of you and I will know if you have let me down – I wish you to shag with my homuncular image rattling in your gonads. Feel how it was for me, how it is for me and ponder. Was that shudder the same shudder he sensed? Did he know something more profound? Or is there some wall of wretchedness that we all batter with our heads at that shining, livelong moment. That is it. That is my prologue, nothing in rhyme, no protestations of ], you were not expecting that I ]. I am John Wilmot, Second Earl of Rochester and I do not want you to like me.
[[time; [modesty; [hope]
The Decline of a Hollywood Star
Ed Wood Boy, Mister Lugosi, you must lead such an exciting life! When is your next picture coming out?
Bela I have no next picture.
Ed You gotta be joking. A big star like you? You must have dozens of em lined up.
Bela In the old days, yes. Now, no one gives two fucks for Bela.
Ichabod Crane Describes the Headless Horseman
Ichabod Crane No. You must believe me. it was a horseman, a dead one. Headless.
Reflections on the Nature of Life
Rochester But life is not a succession of urgent nows. It's a listless trickle of why should I's.
Confirmation of Armament
John Dillinger You wanna know if we're armed? We're armed.
Pirates Discuss Naming and Shipwrecks
Gibbs Look alive and keep a weather eye, men! It's not for naught it's called Shipwreck Island where lies Shipwreck Cove in the town of Shipwreck.
Jack Sparrow You know, for all that pirates are clever clogs, we are an unimaginative lot when it comes to naming things.
Gibbs Aye.
[nods]
Jack Sparrow I once sailed with a geezer lost both his arms and part of his eye.
Gibbs What did you call him?
Jack Sparrow Larry.
[pauses]
Pride in Creation Versus Unconventional Choices
Ed Wood But, Georgie, I'm proud! I wrote, directed, and starred in it, just like Orson Welles did in ].
[[Citizen Kane]
George Weiss Yeah? Well, Orson Welles didn't wear angora sweaters, did he?
Friendship Comes with Consequences
Roux I should probably warn ya: you make friends with us, you make enemies with everyone else.
Vianne Is that a promise?
Roux It's a guarantee.
Desperation Calls for Extreme Actions
Sweeney Todd These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett. Desperate measures are called for...
Confident Assertion of Personal Capacity
George Jung 15 kilos? I PISS 15 kilos.
The Significance of Firearms in America
Thel Russell Watch it. It's loaded.
William Blake Why do you have this?
Thel Russell Because this is America.
Traded Goods and Lost Items
William Blake Do you still have my eyeglasses?
Nobody No, I traded them. Do you have any tobacco?
William Blake No, I traded it.
Nobody For what?
William Blake I'm not telling.
Nobody Liar.
William Blake Thief.
Departure and Return of the Spirit
William Blake Hello.
Nobody I prepared your canoe with cedar boughs. It's time for you to leave now, William Blake. Time for you to go back where you came from.
William Blake You mean Cleveland?
Nobody Back to the place where all the spirits came from, and where all the spirits return. This world will no longer concern you.
William Blake Found some tobacco.
[shows Nobody a reel of tobacco]
Nobody That tobacco is for your voyage... William Blake.
William Blake Nobody... I don't smoke.
A Misunderstanding in a Convent
Angelica I was ready to take my vows. And you - what were you doing in a Spanish convent?!?
Jack Sparrow I mistook it for a brothel. Honest mistake!
Reflections on a Drug-Induced Experience
Raoul Duke 1965. The great San Francisco acid wave. I recall one night in a place called the Matrix. There I was. Mother of God, there I am! Holy fuck! Uh...clearly I was a victim of the drug explosion - a natural street freak, just eating whatever came by.
[does a double take, seeing the real Hunter S. Thompson sitting nearby (doppelganger)]
Peculiar Preferences in Conversation
Edward Ratchett You are a strange, peculiar man.
Hercule Poirot I am of an age where I know what I like and what I do not like. What I like, I enjoy enormously. What I dislike, I cannot abide. For instance, the temporary pleasantries before what is determined to be a business discussion.
Edward Ratchett You're fun.
The Effects of Devil Ether on Behavior
Raoul Duke Ah, devil ether. It makes you behave like the village drunkard in some early Irish novel. Total loss of all basic motor function. Blurred vision, no balance, numb tongue. The mind recoils in horror, unable to communicate with the spinal column. Which is interesting because you can actually watch yourself behaving in this terrible way, but you can't control it.
Confrontation of Faith and Damnation
Trading Post missionary God damn your soul to the fires of Hell!
William Blake He already has.
Uncertainty Surrounds Elizabeth's Disappearance
William Turner Jack?
Hector Barbossa It's not possible.
Jack Sparrow Not probable.
Turner Where is Elizabeth?
Sparrow She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word, really... except for Elizabeth, who is, in fact, a woman.
Barbossa Shut up! You're next!
Justification for Violence and Its Consequences
Mrs. Lovett Mr. T, you didn't! You're barking mad! Killing a man what done ya no harm!
Sweeney Todd He recognized me from the old days. Tried to blackmail me. Half me earnings.
Mrs. Lovett Oh, well that's a different matter then. For a moment there I thought you lost your marbles. Ugh! All that blood. Poor bugger. Oh well!
[relieved]
Mrs. Lovett Well, waste not, want not!
[puts the money in her cleavage]
Discussion of Ship Mutiny Among Pirates
Jack Sparrow The ship is ours!
[''after leading a mutiny on [[w:Queen Anne's Revenge|Queen Anne's Revenge]
Blackbeard Gentlemen. I be placed in a bewilderment. There I were... resting. And upon I sudden I hear an ungodly row on deck. Sailors abandon their posts without orders, without leave. Men before the mast... and taking the ship for themselves. What be that, First Mate?
[''enters upon deck, taking a swig from a glass bottle''; ''takes another shot from the bottle and throws it in front of Jack, as he leaves to the lower deck'']
Angelica Mutiny, Captain.
Blackbeard Again?
Angelica Mutiny!
[louder]
Blackbeard Aye... mutiny. And what fate befalls mutineers; now, we know that answer to that, do we not? Mutineers... HANG!
Jack Sparrow (hanging upside down) Captain, I wish to report a mutiny. I can name fingers and point names.
Restoration and Revenge in Sweeney Todd
Sweeney Todd At last! My arm is complete again!
[''holding up one of his razors'']
Dock Regulations and Unexpected Guests
Murtogg This dock is off-limits to civilians.
Jack Sparrow I'm terribly sorry, I didn't know. If I see one, I shall inform him immediately. Apparently there's some sort of high-toned and fancy to-do up at the fort, eh? How could it be that two upstanding gentlemen, such as yourselves, did not merit an invitation?
[the pair block Jack's path]
Murtogg Someone's got to make sure that this dock stays off-limits to civilians.
Sparrow It's a fine goal, to be sure. But it seems to me... that a ship like that one, makes this one here seem a bit superfluous, really.
Murtogg Oh, the Dauntless is the power in these waters, true enough. But there's no ship as can match the Interceptor for speed.
Sparrow I've heard of one, supposed to be very fast, nigh uncatchable: the Black Pearl.
Mullroy Well, there's no real ship as can match the Interceptor.
[laughs]
Murtogg Black Pearl is a real ship.
Mullroy No, it's not.
Murtogg Yes it is, I've seen it.
Mullroy You've seen it?
Murtogg Yes.
Mullroy You haven't seen it.
Murtogg Yes, I have.
Mullroy You've seen the ship with black sails that's crewed by the damned, and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out?
Murtogg No.
Mullroy No.
Murtogg But I have seen a ship with black sails.
Mullroy Oh, and no ship not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out couldn't possibly have black sails, therefore couldn't possibly be any ship other than the Black Pearl, is that what you're saying?
[sarcastic]
Murtogg No.
[nods]
Mullroy Like I said. There's no real ship, as can match the Interceptor... Oi! You! Get away from there! You don't have permission to be aboard there, mate!
[notices Jack on the ship; he and Murtogg run over and aim their muskets at him]
Jack I'm sorry, it's just such a pretty boat. Ship!
Mullroy What's your name?
Jack Smith. Or Smithy, if you'd like.
Mullroy What's your purpose in Port Royal, "Mister Smith"?
Murtogg Yeah, and no lies!
Jack All right; I confess. It is my intention to commandeer this ship, pick up a crew in Tortuga, and then proceed to raid, pillage, and otherwise pilfer my weasly black guts out.
Murtogg I said no lies!
[stunned]
Mullroy ...I think he's telling the truth.
Murtogg If he were telling the truth, he wouldn't have told us.
Jack Unless of course he knew you wouldn't believe the truth, even if he told it to you.
Paranoia and Madness in a Troubling Place
Raoul Duke Jesus! Bad waves of paranoia, madness, fear and loathing, intolerable vibrations in this place. Get out! The weasels were closing in. I could smell the ugly brutes.
The Complexity of Trust and Dishonesty
Hector Barbossa Jack, I thought I had you figured. But it turns out you're a hard man to predict.
Jack Sparrow Me, I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. I mean honestly, it's the honest ones you have to watch out for. Because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.
The Wonders of an Advanced Machine
Raoul Duke Everything was automatic. I could sit in the red-leather driver's seat and make every inch of the car jump, by touching the proper buttons. It was a wonderful machine: Ten grand worth of gimmicks and big-priced Special Effects. The rear-windows leaped up with a touch, like frogs in a dynamite pond. The white canvas top ran up and down like a roller-coaster. The dashboard was full of esoteric lights & dials & meters that I would never understand — but there was no doubt in my mind I was in a superior machine.
Desperation and Accountability in Crisis
Raoul Duke Oh, you evil bastard! This your work. You better take care of me, Lord, cause if you don't you'll have me on your hands!
[points skyward]
Unexpected Reunion Amidst Tension and Humor
Will Turner Jack? Jack Sparrow. I can honestly say I'm glad to see you.
[captured by the cannibals on Pelegostos Island; Chuckles and smiles]
Will Turner Jack, it's me, Will Turner.
Will Turner Tell them to let me down!
Jack Sparrow ...eensy-weensy. Eunuchy. Snip-snip.
[speaking pidgin native language; Jack bends over to expect Will and speaks native language]
Cannibals Eunuchy.
[all murmur]
Will Turner Jack, the compass. That's all I need. Elizabeth is in danger. We were arrested for trying to help you. She faces the gallows!
[sees the compass attached to Jack]
Jack Sparrow Savvy?
[speaking pidgin native language; Speaks pidgin native language. One of the cannibals repeats what Jack said, and the rest of the cannibals repeat back.]
Jack Sparrow Save me.
[sotto voce, to Will]
Will Turner Jack, what did you tell them? No! What about Elizabeth? JACK!!!
[while being taken somewhere else]
The Uniqueness of God's Prototype
Raoul Duke There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Living in the moment without future concerns
John Dillinger We're having too good a time today. We ain't thinking about tomorrow.
Sweeney Todd's Dark Invitation and Vengeful Resolve
Sweeney Todd Alright! You, sir? How about a shave? Come and visit your good friend, Sweeney! You sir! Too, sir. Welcome to the grave... I will have vengeance. I will have salvation... Who, sir? You sir! No one's in the chair. Come on, come on! Sweeney's waiting. I want you bleeders. You sir? Anybody? Gentlemen, now don't be shy. Not 1 man... No, nor 10 men... Nor 100 can assuage me. I will have you! And I will get him back even as he gloats; In the meantime, I'll practice on less honorable throats... And my Lucy lies in ashes, and I'll never see my girl again. But the work waits! I'm alive at last, and I'm full of joy!
[singing]
Truths and Lies in Pirate Conversations
Angelica The lies I told you were not lies.
Jack Sparrow ...You lied to me by telling me the truth?
Jack Sparrow That's very good. May I use that?
Angelica I sure you will anyway.
Jack Sparrow Mmm... Of course I will.
Coffin Purchase Sparks Dark Humor Among Friends
Ed Wood Mister Lugosi, why are you buying a coffin?
Bela I'm planning on dying soon.
Ed No!
Bela Yes. I'm embarking on another truck and bus tour of Dracula. Twelve cities in ten days, if that's conceivable.
A Reflection on Life and Mortality
Rochester Here he lies at the last. The deathbed convert. The pious debauchee. Could not dance a half measure, could I? Give me wine, I drain the dregs and toss the empty bottle at the world. Show me our Lord Jesus in agony and I mount the cross and steal his nails for my own palms. There I go, shuffling from the world. My dribble fresh upon the bible. I look upon a pinhead and I see angels dancing. Well? Do you like me now? Do you like me now? Do you like me now? Do you like me... now?
A Plea for Quality in Treatment
Rochester The ] is my ], and my illness is so far advanced that my physic must be of the highest quality.
[[theatre; [drug]
A Room with a Troubling History
Sweeney Todd You have a room over the shop, don't you? If times are so hard, why don't you rent it out?
Mrs. Lovett Oh no, not up there. Haven't been there in years. People think it's haunted.
Sweeney Todd Haunted?
Mrs. Lovett Yeah. And who's to say they're wrong? You see, years ago, something happened up there. Something not very nice.
Advertising Struggles for Glen or Glenda
Ed Wood Georgie, what happened? I thought Glen or Glenda was opening this week! Where's the ads?
[over the phone]
George Weiss Where's the ads?" The ads are in Alabama, Indiana and Missouri, you schmuck! It ain't gonna play in L.A.!
Ed Wood Why not?
George Weiss Nobody wants to see this piece of shit!
Ed Wood Hey, you can't talk that way about my movie!
George Weiss Your movie?! I wish it was your movie! I wish I had never blown every dime I ever made into making this stinkbomb! And if I ever see ya again, I'll kill ya!
[angrily hangs up]
Desperation Breeds Difficult Choices
Red Hamilton We don't work with people we don't know. And you don't work when you're desperate. Walter Dietrich. Remember that?
John Dillinger Walter forgot. When you're desperate, that's when you got no choice.
Ambition vs. Talent in Life's Journey
George Jung Throughout my lifetime I've left pieces of my heart here and there. And now, there's almost barely enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition far exceeded my talent.
The Danger of Virtue's Deceptive Mask
Ichabod Crane Villainy wears many masks, none so dangerous as the mask of virtue.
A Family's Stagnation and Attachment to Home
Gilbert Grape We don't really move. I mean, we'd like to, but... my mom is sort of attached to the house. Attached is, I guess, not the right word. She's pretty much wedged in.
Understanding Highway Cop Psychology
Raoul Duke Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow.
Perception of Normalcy in Mental Health
Sam You know, it seems to me that, I mean, except for being a little mentally ill, she's pretty normal.
Determination in the Face of Criticism
Ed Wood So — we gonna be working together? Really? Worst film you ever saw. Well, my next one will be better. Hello. Hello?
[pauses to listen]
The Question of Mortality
Gellert Grindelwald Will we die just a little?
[last lines; to Newt]
Names and Their Spellings
Benny Hi, I'm Benny
Sam With an N?
Benny Yeah. Two of them. And this is Joon.
Sam With an N?
Joon One.
Responsibility and Influence in Leadership
King Charles II Your father spirited me out of England when my life was at stake, so I looked after him and after you.
Rochester You put me in the Tower.
King Charles II And I let you out. The ] has come for you to pay your dues. People listen to you, Johnny. If you took your seat in the Lords, you could make great speeches that would influence events. Anyone can oppose, it's fun to be against things, but there comes a time when you have to start being for things as well.
[[time]
Titles of Address in Distinction
Guy LaPointe The unted is always "mister", the unter is always "monsieur".
Despair in a Dark World
Sweeney Todd There's a hole in the world/like a great black pit/and it's filled with people/who are filled with shit/and the vermin of the world inhabit it.
The Burden of Unseen Desires
Raoul Duke With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever. Always thinking just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things he'll never know.
Casting for a Unique Film Project
Bela Lugosi Eddie, you got me a new picture, eh?
Ed Wood Yes. It's gonna be a great picture and you'll love your character. Have a seat. Listen, Bunny? Bela's here. I gotta go. Listen, work some parties, hit the bars, and get me transvestites! I need transvestites! All right. Bye.
[back on phone; hangs up]
Bela Eddie... what kind of a movie is this?
The Uncertainty of Survival and Return
Barbossa Still thinking of running, Jack? Think you can outrun the world?...You know, the problem with being the last of anything, by and by, there'll be none left at all.
Jack Sometimes things come back, mate. We're living proof, you and me.
Barbossa Aye, but that's a gamble of long odds, ain't it? There's never a guarantee of coming back. But passing on, that's dead certain.
Jack Summoning the Brethren Court then, is it?
Barbossa It's our only hope, lad.
Jack That's a sad commentary in and of itself.
Barbossa The world used to be a bigger place.
Jack Sparrow The world's still the same. There's just...less in it.
Madness as a Strategy in Unlikely Situations
Lord Beckett You're mad!
Jack Sparrow Well, thank goodness for that, because if I wasn't, this would probably never work.
Jack And that was without a single drop of rum.
A Plea for Trust and Deception
Frank Tupelo (Alexander's letter to Elise) Elise, you have no reason to trust me anymore, but give me a chance to explain myself. I know the police are watching you. We have to throw them off the trail. Board the eight-twenty-two, the Gare de Lyon. Pick someone my height and build and make them believe it is me. Burn this letter. It is important you follow my instructions precisely. I love you, Alexander.
The Mystery of Loss and Memory
Mort Rainey I know I can do it", Todd Downey said, helping himself to another ear of corn from the steaming bowl. "I'm sure that in time, every bit of her will be gone, and her death will be a mystery... even to me.
Celebrating Arnie's Upcoming 18th Birthday
Gilbert Grape I know a boy whose name is Arnie... he's, uh, bout to turn 18 and have a big party. I know a boy whose name is Arnie. C'mon down, buddy.
Reflections on a Lost Era in Las Vegas
Raoul Duke Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Five years later? Six? It seems like a lifetime, or at least a main era... The kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something, maybe not, in the long run. But no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time in the world. Whatever it meant. There was madness in any direction, at any hour. You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning. And that, I think, was the handle - that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn’t need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting - on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark - that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.
Excessive Substances and the Ether Binge
Raoul Duke We had two bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.
High Tolerance for Cocaine Use
George Jung The official toxicity limit for humans is between one and one and half grams of cocaine depending on body weight. I was averaging five grams a day, maybe more. I snorted ten grams in ten minutes once. I guess I had a high tolerance.
The Burden of Learning to Love Life
Rochester I shall never forgive you for teaching me how to love life.
Bank Heist Timing Discussion
Police Chief Fultz How long does it take you to run through a bank?
John Dillinger About 1 minute... 40 seconds... Flat
A Question About the Fountain of Youth
Angelica Jack, have you ever seen, with your own eyes, the Fountain of Youth?
Jack Sparrow I'm sorry, could you repeat the question please?
Navigating Criticism in the Spotlight
Rochester This is your first season on the London stage?
Elizabeth Barry It is, my lord.
Rochester Mrs. Barry, you must acquire the trick of ignoring those who do not like you. In my experience, those who do not like you fall into two categories: The stupid and the envious. The stupid will like you in five years time. The envious, never.
Perception of Unconventionality in Relationships
Frank Tupelo (to Elise) You are the least down to earth person I've ever met.
Nostalgia and Reunion in a Familiar Setting
Jack Sparrow Hola. Come, little drink?
Angelica Wine, music, candlelight. I think we traveled down this road before, Jack.
Jack Sparrow Yes we have. I remember it well.
Inquiry About Golf Shoes
Raoul Duke PLEASE, TELL ME ABOUT THE FUCKING GOLF SHOES!
[''Yelling to Dr. Gonzo'']
Descent into Hallucination and Confusion
Narrator We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like:
Raoul Duke I feel a bit lightheaded. Maybe you should drive.
Narrator Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full with what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, and a voice was screaming:
Dr. Gonzo Did you say something?
Raoul Duke Hm? Never mind. It's your turn to drive.
Narrator No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastard will see them soon enough.
The Consequences of Excessive Choices
Guy LaPointe You just had to have the second slider. You just HAD to HAVE the second slider. Oof...
[groans while holding stomach]
Perception and Reality in Infinite Contexts
William Blake If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is: infinite.
Descent into Paranoia in the Desert
Raoul Duke How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?
Confronting the Truth in Relationships
Joon We have to tell him.
Benny What? Tell me what?
Sam Uh, Benny, Joon and uh and I are uh... you know.
Themes of Life and Mortality in Dialogue
Nobody Leave that alone stupid white man.
[seeing William touching his chest wound]
William Blake Am I going to die?
[as Nobody attends to his wound]
Nobody The circle of life has no ending.
William Blake Why are you helping me?
Nobody A bird told me.
William Blake A bird told you?
Nobody A small magical bird with bright blue feathers. I was following him in your forest, hoping to acquire one of his indigo feathers... and then I lost him... and then I found him again. He was perched on your chest tasting your blood. He looked at me. Then he flew directly west in a straight line - his small beak red with your blood.
[pauses]
Dillinger's Reflection on His Upbringing and Interests
John Dillinger I was raised on a farm in Mooresville, Indiana. My mama died when I was three. My daddy beat the hell out of me cause he didn't know no better way to raise me. I like baseball, movies, good clothes, fast cars, whiskey, and you... what else you need to know?
Manipulation and Innocence in Relationships
Angelica You seduced me and used me. I was innocent in the ways of men!
Jack Sparrow You demonstrated a lot of technique for someone I supposedly corrupted.
Crossing Boundaries in a Drug-Related Context
George Jung (to Judge) I crossed an imaginary line with a bunch of plants!
Desire for Emotional Connection Through Theater
Rochester I wish to be moved. I cannot feel in life. I must have others do it for me in theater.
Settling a Debt with Davy Jones
Davy Jones You are neither dead nor dying. What is yer purpose here?
[upon seeing Will on the boat]
Will Turner Jack Sparrow sent me to settle his debt.
Davy Jones What is yer purpose here?
[confused]
Will Turner Jack Sparrow....sent me to settle his debt.
Davy Jones Did he now? I'm sorely tempted to accept that offer.
[chuckles; slight pause]
Jack Sparrow Oh.
The Limits of Perception and Reality
Raoul Duke My attorney had never caught on to the notion espoused by some former drug users that you can get a lot higher without drugs than with them. And neither have I, for that matter.
Desire for Escape and Discontentment in Life
Rochester When I wake in the country, I dream of being in London. When I get here, it's full of people like you. (Speaking of the Merry Gang)
Colorblind Choices in Costume Selection
Ed Wood Say, Bill, which dress works best for you, the red one or the green one?
Cameraman Which one is the red one?
Ed Wood What do you mean?
Cameraman I mean I can't see the difference. I'm colorblind. But I kinda like the dark gray one.
Embarking on a Creative Journey Together
Ed Wood Everybody, we're about to embark on quite a journey: four days of hard work. But when it's over, we'll have a picture that'll entertain, enlighten, and maybe even move millions of people.
Questioning Pearce's Confidence Against an Adversary
Frank Tupelo What made Pearce think he could take on a guy like that? (Shaw)
Vacation Plans and Beach Dreams
Bunny Breckinridge Guess where I'm going next week.
Ed Wood I don't know. Where?
Bunny Me-hee-co. Guess what I'm doing when I get there.
Ed I don't know — lie on a beach.
Bunny Wrong. I'm getting my first series of hormone injections. And when those girls kick in, they're gonna take out my organs and make me... a woman.
Ed Are you serious?
Bunny It's something I've wanted to do for a long time. But it wasn't until I saw your movie that I realized I have to take action! Goodbye, penis!
Dolores Fuller Would you please keep it down?
Cultural Traits and Physical Abilities Discussed
Ed Wood My gosh, Bela, how do you do that?
Bela Lugosi You must be double-jointed. And you must be Hungarian.
Disagreements on Respect and Appreciation in Film
Ed Wood Oh, I hate it when she interrupts the picture. She doesn't show em the proper respect.
Bela Lugosi I think she's a honey. Look at those jugs!
Questioning Threats and Survival
Frank Tupelo Why is everyone trying to kill me?!
Introduction of Ed Wood's Identity
Criswell And who may you be?
Ed Wood Edward D. Wood, Junior.
Criswell Ah — the director of Glen or Glenda.
Ed How'd you know?
Criswell I am Criswell. I know all.
A Proposal for Reconciliation Between Rivals
Sao Feng Jack Sparrow… You paid me great insult once.
[venomously]
Jack Sparrow Well, that doesn’t sound like me...
Jack Sparrow Shall we just call it square then?
[sets his nose back]
Identity and the Nature of Names
William Blake What is your name?
Nobody My name is Nobody.
William Blake Excuse me?
Nobody My name is Exaybachay. He Who Talks Loud, Saying Nothing.
William Blake He who talks... I thought you said your name was Nobody.
Nobody I preferred to be called Nobody.
Willy Wonka's Take on Eatable Delights
Willy Wonka Everything in this room is eatable. Even I'm eatable. But that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. Enjoy.
Divorce and Frustration in Isolation
Mort Rainey What do you think it means, you ignorant hick? I'm in the middle of a divorce. D-I-V-O-R-C-E. Deee-vorce!
The Key to Movie Success
Weiss So what was the important news you couldn't tell me on the phone, again?
Ed Wood Well, I started thinking about how you said your movies needed to make a profit. Now, what is the one thing, if you put it in a movie, it'll be successful?
George Weiss Tits.
Ed No, better than that. A star!
Weiss Kid, you must have me confused with ]. I don't make major motion pictures, I make crap.
[[w:David O. Selznick|David Selznick]
Ed Yes — but if you take that crap and put a star in it, then you've got something!
Weiss Yeah. Crap with a star.
Ed No, something better! Something impressive. Maybe the biggest money maker you've ever had.
Weiss Fine, alright. You maybe right, but it doesn't frickin matter! I can't afford a star, so what are we even talking about?
Ed Alright, what if I told you you could have a star for $1000?
Weiss Who?
Weiss Lugosi?
Ed Yes, Lugosi!
Weiss Isn't he dead?
Ed No, he's not dead! He lives in Baldwin Hills. I met him recently, and he really wants to be in our movie.
Weiss Why would Lugosi wanna do a sex-change flick?
Ed Because he's my friend!
Weiss All right, fine! You can direct it. I want a script in three days. We start shooting a week from Monday.
Ed Oh... oh, Mister Weiss, thank you so much! You won't regret it! I won't let you down!
Coping with Reality in a Distorted World
Raoul Duke A drug person can learn to cope with things like seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth, but nobody should be asked to handle this trip. Bazooko's Circus is what the whole hep world would be doing every Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war. This was the Sixth Reich.
Sentiment and Relationships Explored in Dialogue
Rochester Did you miss me?
Jane I missed the ].
[[money]
Rochester Good. I don't like a whore with sentiment.