Memorable Quotes from Josh Gad
10 quotesEmbracing the Spirit of Mardi Gras
Bump
I wanna make Mardi Gras my bitch!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perspective on Cheating and Appreciation
Bump
Last I checked, Mike, seeing boobs wasn’t cheating. It was just plain incredible.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Missed Opportunity in Romantic Encounter
Bump
What happened with your chick?
Mike
I don’t know. She and her friends took off.
Bump
What? You blew it! You do realise that entire conversation was an I-wanna-potentially- sit-on-your-face interview, right?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Essence Beyond the Celebration
Bump
Mike! Sometimes the best part of the party isn’t the party. You know what I mean?
Mike
I know exactly what you mean.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Journey to the Enchanted Castle
Maurice
No. I'm sure this is the way. Do you hear those wolves? That means we're getting very close to the castle.
Gaston
Look, enough is enough. We have to turn back.
Maurice
Stop.
Maurice
That's it. There it is. That's the tree. I'm sure of it. It-it was downed by lightning at the time. But now it's... resumed an upright position through some sort of... magic or other.
[snaps his finger; gets off the cart]
LeFou
You really want to marry into this family?
[to Gaston]
Maurice
So that means that the... the castle is that - No. No, it's - That way. Definitely... that way.
[motions falling tree with his arm]
Gaston
I am done playing this game of yours! Where is Belle?
Maurice
The Beast took her and she...
Gaston
There are no such things as beasts... or talking teacups... or magic! But there are wolves, frostbite, and starvation!
LeFou
Deep breaths, Gaston. Deep breaths.
[stands up]
Gaston
So, why don't we just turn around, go back to Villeneuve? I'm sure Belle is at home, cooking up a lovely dinner.
[breathes deeply, then turns to Maurice]
Maurice
If you think I've made all this up, then why did you offer to help?
Gaston
Because, I want to marry your daughter! Now, let's go home.
[calms down]
Maurice
Belle is not at home! She is with the...
Gaston
You say "Beast" one more time, I WILL FEED YOU TO THE WOLVES!!!!!
[angrily grabs Maurice]
LeFou
Gaston, stop it! Breathe, think of happy thoughts, go back to the war, blood, explosions, countless widows.
[tries to stop him]
Gaston
Widows...
LeFou
Yes, yes. That's it... That's it.
[Gaston calms down and LeFou taps his nose]
Gaston
Maurice! Please forgive me, old bean. That's no way to talk to my future father-in-law, now is it?
[turns to Maurice, smiling. Maurice recoils]
Maurice
Future father-in-law?
Gaston
Yeah.
Maurice
You will never marry my daughter.
LeFou
I saw that coming.
Gaston
If Maurice won't give me his blessing, then he's in my way. Once the wolves are finished with him, Belle will have no one to take care of her but ME!
LeFou
For the sake of exhausting all of our options, do we maybe want to consider a slightly less... gruesome alternative?
Gaston
Are you coming?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Expressions of Admiration and Humor
Mike
I gotta admit, it’s awesome to see a strange girl’s breasts.
Bump
I’d crawl a mile on broken glass to suck the dick that fucked her last.
Scottie
Shakespeare couldn’t have said it better.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Father's Refusal and a Daughter's Plea
Gaston
Have you seen the inside of a mad house, Maurice? You wouldn't last a week. Just give me your daughter and I'll set you free.
[to Maurice, as he's thrown in a carriage]
Maurice
Never.
Gaston
Take him away!
Belle
STOP!! Papa!
[gets off of Phillippe and runs to Maurice in the carriage]
Maurice
Oh, Belle! I thought I lost you.
Belle
Let him out! He's hurt!
[turns to D'Arque]
D'Arque
We can't do that, miss, but we'll take very good care of him.
Belle
My father's not crazy! Gaston, tell him!
[turns to Gaston]
Gaston
You know how loyal, I am your family. But your father's been making some unbelievable claims.
Monsieur Jean
It's true, Belle. He's been raving about a Beast in a castle.
Belle
I've just come from a castle, there is a Beast!
Gaston
You say anything to set him free. Your word is hardly proof!
Belle
I want proof? Show me the Beast! There's my proof!
[uses the magic mirror; the mirror shows the Beast roaring. She shows him to the townspeople, who recoil in fear]
Gaston
This is sorcery! Look at this Beast! LOOK AT HIS FANGS! HIS CLAWS!!
[grabs the magic mirror; He shows the townspeople about the Beast]
Belle
No. Don't be afraid! He's gentle and kind.
Gaston
The monster has her under his spell. If I didn't know better, I'd say she even cared for him!
[turns to Belle]
Belle
He's NOT a monster, Gaston! BUT YOU!! The Beast wouldn't hurt anyone!
[turns to the townspeople]
Gaston
I've heard of the effects of dark magic, but I've never before seen it with my own eyes! This is a threat to a very existence! We can't have her running off to warn the Beast! Lock her up, too.
Belle
No!
Tom
Come here!
Belle
NO!
Tom
Shut up.
Belle
You won't get away with this, Gaston!
Maurice
Oh, Belle!
LeFou
Gaston, with all due respect...
[grabs Gaston's arm]
Gaston
Do you want to be next? Fetch my horse. Stand guard. Don't let them escape! This creature will curse us all if we don't stop him! WELL, I SAY WE KILL THE BEAST!!!
[LeFou is shocked into silence; comes up to the carriage, to D'Arque; to the townspeople; the townspeople cheers]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Facing Uncertainty and Loss Together
Ludlow
I can't believe they took Matty as a trophy. I'm so sorry.
Sam
Well, there's gotta be something we can do.
Ludlow
Where's Eddie?
Sam
Eddie... Yeah, he crawled into a hole. We'll never see him again. Chewie won't take my calls. Violet got ]. We're on our own, guys.
[stands up; [The Lorax (2012 film)|the boot]
Q*Bert
This feels like my planet. No fun, no laughter, only war.
Violet
Wait. Wait a second. Q*Bert is from there. He knows all their secrets.
Q*Bert
We were once a happy planet before you threatened us.
Sam
But we didn't threaten you. Y-You saw footage of old games.
Q*Bert
They do not know they are games.
Violet
Well, why didn't you tell them that, Q*Bert, and stop them?
Q*Bert
It's too late! And now the mothership is creating millions of {{w|Kamen Rider Ex-Aid|videogame warriors}} to destroy your planet.
Violet
Look, all we have to do is get inside the mothership and try to stop them. We can rescue Matty while we're up there.
Ludlow
Up there? You wanna go up there? I don't know about that. Y'know, they took away our light cannons. I don't think that's such a good idea.
Sam
We have something better than light cannons. We have a positive ].
[[Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian|can-do attitude]
Q*Bert
Ah...!
[reassured]
Sam
I'm kidding. We are all gonna die. I'm just... Sorry.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Encounters in a Magical Setting
LeFou
Well, hello there. You must be the talking teacup. And YOU must be his grandmother.
[to Mrs. Potts]
Mrs. Potts
GRANDMOTHER"?! ATTACK!
[as soon of hearing this, she wakes up with a gasp]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Support and Quick Thinking
Chip
Mama!
Mrs. Potts
Thank you!
LeFou
Take that!
[punches the other villager out and turns to Mrs. Potts]
Mrs. Potts
Nicely handled!
LeFou
Well, I used to be on Gaston's side, but we are so in a bad place right now.
Mrs. Potts
You're too good for him anyway.
LeFou
Yeah.
Mrs. Potts
Should we get back to it, then?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.