Judd Hirsch Quotes

Conrad It's impossible after all the shit I've pulled.

Dr. Berger What shit have you pulled? Hey, remember, I'm talking proportion here, now what shit? C'mon, you must be able to come up with at least one example. And don't give me, "I tried to kill myself." That's old turkey.

Uncle Boris Family, art: It will tear you in two.

Conrad I feel bad about this! I feel really, really bad about this! Just let me feel bad about this!

Dr. Berger Okay. I feel bad about it, too.

Arthur Pope Now, go out there and make a difference. Your mother and I tried. Don't let anyone tell you different.

Annie Pope What are we doing to these kids? They've been running their whole lives like criminals, and they didnt do anything!

Uncle Boris Art will give you crowns in heaven and laurels on Earth, but also, it will tear your heart out and leave you lonely. You'll be a shanda for your loved ones. An exile in the desert. A gypsy. Art is no game! Art is dangerous as a lion's mouth. It'll bite your head off.

Frankenstein's Monster Are they gone yet?

Count Dracula Yes, it's safe for you to come out now and protect my life!

Count Dracula Hiya, Baby, it's me, Count Dracula.

Witch I didn't think it was a hummingbird.

Count Dracula What do I do now?

Igor Master, believe me, they're just illusions. They cannot harm you.

Count Dracula Can't do any me harm, huh? Who did that? Termites?

Arthur Pope Get the bike out of the back. Now, get on it.

Michael What are you talking about, dad...

Arthur Pope Get on the bike. You're on your own, kid. I want you to go to Juilliard.

Michael But, dad, I want to go with you.

Arthur Pope We'll see you again. You can be sure. Your mother has arranged things with your grandfather, alright- call him. And I think you have some friends around here.

Annie Pope I love you, baby.

Arthur Pope We all love you. Now, go out there and make a difference. Your mother and I tried. And don't let anyone tell you any different.

Harry Pope Bye, Danny!

Conrad Bucky, I didn't mean it! Bucky, I didn't meant it!

Dr. Berger What?

Conrad I said put the sail down, but you said keep it starboard, and then we go over! And you say "Hang on, Hang on!", but then you let go! Why'd you let go?

Dr. Berger Because I was tired!

Conrad Oh yeah? Well screw you, you jerk!

Dr. Berger It hurts to be mad at him, doesn't it?

Conrad God, I loved him. It's not fair. You just do one wrong thing.

Dr. Berger And what was the one wrong thing you did? You know. You know.

Conrad I hung on. I stayed with the boat.

Dr. Berger Exactly.

Sammy Fabelman Putting your head in a lion's mouth is art?

Uncle Boris No, sticking your head in the mouth of lions was balls! Making sure that lion didn't eat my head? That is art!

Count Dracula Igor, you did it again! How many times do I have to tell you? Keep my tomb door open at night and closed in the day. Open at night and closed in the day!

Frankenstein's Monster My feet hurt!

Count Dracula Don't give me that! I happen to know those aren't your feet!

Frankenstein's Monster What did you have to bring that up for?

Dr. Berger A little advice about feelings, kiddo; don't expect it always to tickle.

Dr. Berger Now. You can live with that. Can't you?

Conrad I'm so scared! I'm scared.

Dr. Berger Feelings are scary. And sometimes they're painful. And if you can't feel pain, then you're not going to feel anything else, either. You know what I'm saying?

Conrad I think so.

Dr. Berger You're here, and you're alive. And don't tell me you don't feel that.

Conrad It doesn't feel good.

Dr. Berger It is good. Believe me.

Conrad How do you know?

Dr. Berger Because I'm your friend.

Dr. Berger So you felt great. You brought home a Christmas tree and everything was hunky dory. Okay?

Conrad You're the doctor.

Dr. Berger Listen, don't take refuge in one-liners like "you're the doctor". Okay? Because that pisses me off.

Conrad Okay.

Count Dracula It's one of those days I wish I was dead. And stayed dead.

Helinger Mathematicians won the war. Mathematicians broke the Japanese codes, and built the A-bomb. Mathematicians … like you. The stated goal of the Soviets is global Communism. In medicine or economics, in technology or space, battle lines are being drawn. To triumph, we need results. Publishable, applicable results. Now, who among you will be the next Morse? The next Einstein? Who among you will be the vanguard of democracy, freedom, and discovery? Today, we bequeath America's future into your able hands. Welcome to Princeton, gentlemen.

Dr. Rosen Imagine if you suddenly learned that the people, the places, the moments most important to you were not gone, not dead, but worse, had never been. What kind of hell would that be?

Dr. Rosen John has schizophrenia, people with this disease are often paranoid.

Witch Well, for heavens sake! You look just like me.

Girl dressed as witch This is my favorite costume, because of you.

Witch It is? Why?

Girl dressed as witch Because you're one of my favorite people.

Boy dressed as Scarecrow We love you just the way you are! All the kids feel that way.

Witch You really love me? All right, I'll do it! Knowing you love me means more to me than any of his promises.

Count Dracula Oh, then we can forget those silly conditions that you asked for?

Witch Not on your life! You're going to keep every one of those promises just the same! Starting with the disco party right after I ride over the moon. So long, kids! This ride is just for you!

Ben I'm also an actor. I can play you if they ever do a movie about your life.

Fin Shepard If anyone's playing me in a movie, it's gonna be me.

Ben Not a bad idea.