Office Christmas Party - Boss Asks Employees for Unconventional Help
Nate:
Okay, I'm gonna need both of you assclowns to hack into Clay's phone so we can find him.
Tim:
Come on, why would we help you, dude? Seriously?
Drew:
Yeah, why would we help you?
Nate: [grabs Tim by the collar]
Because I'm your fucking boss, and I'm telling you to.
Drew: [turns to Mary]
He can't touch him!
Mary:
I'll allow it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Office Christmas Party - Deserving Kindness Amidst Chaos
Nate:
Allison, are you okay?
Allison:
No! I'm not okay. My ex-husband is dating a stripper, Drew is cyberstalking me, and Fred from accounting is like a human fucking AMBER Alert. Don't I deserve to date someone who is nice?
Nate:
Of course you do. Allison, you're an amazing person. You basically take care of this whole office. And you do it every day, even though most people don't seem to notice. So, yeah, you deserve someone nice.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Office Christmas Party - Unexpected News About Significant Others at Party
Tim:
Nate, what's up, man? Did you see? Significant others are welcome at the party.
Drew:
Look at that. Looks like we're finally gonna meet Becca.
Nate:
Yeah. Um, oh, shoot. Uh, except she's working late tonight. Modelling.
Tim:
Is she shooting the cover... of "Full of Shit" magazine?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Deadpool 2 - Dopinder's Ambition for a Dark Career
Dopinder:
I want to become a contract killer.
Deadpool:
I'm sorry, what did you say?
Dopinder:
Remember when I kidnapped Bandhu and threatened him with great violence?
Deadpool:
Err, you kind of killed him.
Dopinder: [[w:Interview with the Vampire (film)|Interview with the Vampire]
And then remember the movie ]?
Deadpool:
Don't want to.
Dopinder: [[w:Tom Cruise|Tom Cruise; [w:Kirsten Dunst|Kirsten Dunst]
When ] fed 10-year-old ] blood for the first time, and she looked up at his smooth, handsome face and said "I want some more..." Oh, Pool, picture me, a 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst!
Deadpool:
...I'll never not picture that. But I can't wait to never speak of this, as soon as possible. We're here.
Deadpool:
Dopinder? It's me again. Look, a saner man might discourage you from joining the deadly merc business, what with your concave chest and your paper towel tube arms. But you're an eagle, and goddammit, an eagle's gotta soar! You gotta grab those dreams, grab those dreams by the dick-tip and make it rain!
Dopinder:
I don't know what that means.
Deadpool:
Me neither!
Deadpool: [taps his nose; under his breath, as he leaves]
I'm gonna see you — Boop! — at the office. In the sky.
Dopinder:
You're my Tom Cruise!
Deadpool: [to himself]
And you're my Kristen Dunst! "Kristen"? "Kirsten"?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.