Kate Hudson Quotes

Dupree Everyone's asleep and here's lonely old Dupree wailing away on himself.

Molly You weren't wailing away...

Dupree An animal wouldn't debase himself such!

Molly Did you know Dupree writes poetry?

Carl What a homo.

Birdie Jay What is reality?!

Liv MY HAIR'S BLUE! IT'S BLUE! I have BLUE HAIR! I'm getting married in a week!

Hairdresser Congratulations.

Liv In a week! A WEEEEK!!!!

Helen Harris See you at ].

Pastor Dan Parker Do you know what Vespers is?

Helen Harris Some kind of scooter?

Pastor Dan Parker Close enough.

Penny Lane I always tell the girls, never take it seriously. If ya never take it seriously, you never get hurt. If ya never get hurt, you always have fun. And if ya ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends.

Benoit Blanc Pineapple juice! He just put pineapple juice in his whiskey! It... it's so dumb.

Birdie Jay It's so dumb, it's brilliant!

Benoit Blanc NO! It's just dumb!

Peg We'll do what we always do – deny, half apologize, and then go silent a while. I will handle this.

Peg What is this?

Birdie Jay It's my secret phone.

Peg What is this?

Birdie Jay An email from a SweetiePants contractor two years ago.

Peg Ms. Jay, I am writing to inform you that the proposed Bangladesh factory is notoriously one of the world's biggest sweatshops. Please advise." And then you replied: "Sounds perfect, thanks," with your Memoji dabbing. Birdie... please tell me you did not think sweatshops are where they make sweatpants.

Peg Oh my god...

Pastor Dan Parker Let's talk about some things you could do at home.

Helen Harris You wanna know what I've been doing at home? I've been doing the best I can. Do you have any idea what this has done to my life?

Pastor Dan Parker Hey, Helen, you have any idea what it's done to theirs?

Helen Harris Hey, Pastor Dan? Mr. Self-righteous? I'm hanging on by a thread here. I lost my sister, my social life, my disposable income, my ability to fit into a size 2, and - this just in - my job. Pretty much the only two things that haven't disappeared are my nicotine fits and a few pounds that have recently taken up residence on my ass. So forgive me if I'm not too thrilled about being lectured, in Queens, about being a lousy legal guardian to three kids who maybe shouldn't have been given to me in the first place.

Molly I don't know. I have a hard time imagining ] getting buttered up to "]".

Dupree Really? I don't.

Audrey Davis Why?

Audrey Davis Could you just do it please?

Helen Harris Open it up and give me your fake I.D.

Audrey Davis Why?

Helen Harris Because I said so. That's why.

Audrey Davis I'm not gonna give it to you, I am not a child!

Helen Harris Yes, you are. You are a child, Audrey. And you have a right to a childhood and you should fight for it but if you won't, then I will. Now give me your I.D.

Helen Harris That was very adult of you.

Audrey Davis You tricked me! I thought you were on my side, but you're just like her. I hate you, do you hear me, I hate you!

Helen Harris Well, I guess we are just gonna have to learn to live with that.

Audrey Davis What is the matter with you? Don't you remember what it's like to be young?

Helen Harris Of course I do... it was last Wednesday!

Penny Lane We are not groupies. Groupies sleep with rock stars because they want to be near someone famous. We are here because of the music, we inspire the music. We are Band Aids.

Jenny Portman Ooh, ooh! Sweetie, what did mommy say about kicking while she's having a conversation? You need to wait until she's finished. Thank you very much.

Helen Harris Did you just boss around the unborn?

Jenny Portman It's never too early to learn good manners.

Helen Harris Dear Jenny, If you're reading this, you know that I'm gone. And I asked Helen to be the guardian for the kids.

Lindsay Davis And you're probably freaked about it. Yes, it's a surprising choice, considering that you are the most incredible mother I've ever known. If you find this letter odd, understand that my "always be prepared" Paul convinced me to write it now while our children are young. You must know from experience that when it comes to picking somebody else to raise your kids, no one seems right. No one is you. And so you choose someone who is most like you. Someone that will give the kids a taste of their real mom, the mom they lost and never really got to know. In so many ways, we are so much alike, that's why I chose Helen. Of course, she'll have lots of fights with the kids, yet she'll find a way to make up. I know sometimes she messes things up and makes big mistakes. On the other hand, she also makes big comebacks. Respect her Jenny. Give her a shot. We're family and I'm counting on you to keep everyone together. I know, Helen will certainly need some help learning how to be a mother to my kids, but I've got you for that. And who could be better? After all, you raised Helen, you'll teach her how to be a mom. Just like you taught her how to tie her shoes. I can still hear you telling her, "The bunny goes around the tree, and into the burrow...

Helen Harris Pull tight.

Carl The insurance adjuster recommended that we sue Dupree.

Molly For a moose head?

Jenny Portman I bet this is lead paint. Kids, no chewing on the window sills!

Helen Harris Yeah, stick to the table legs like I taught you.

Helen Harris Pastor Dan just asked me out.

Audrey Davis That is so weird.

Pastor Dan Parker I can hear you. I'm still here. Go inside and do that.

Birdie Jay Like Miles said, I'm a truth teller. Some people can't handle it.

Benoit Blanc It's a dangerous thing to mistake speaking without thought for speaking the truth. Don't you think?

Birdie Jay Are you calling me dangerous?

Benoit Blanc We'll see.

Birdie Jay Everything is so woke nowadays, it's out of control.

Jack Look, what happened between us last night is like this ongoing problem with me. It happens all the time: I meet someone, we go home together, but then the next day it's...

Cindy What? Next day what?

Jack Well, they tell me that suddenly they've developed these feelings for me.

Cindy What are you saying, that every woman you go home with falls in love with you or something?

Jack Yes! It's like a curse! It never ends!

Cindy A woman falls in love with you and you think that's a curse?

Jack You have no idea!

Cindy No! I don't! Because I think you're lucky! I mean, there are some people who wait their entire lives for somebody to tell them they feel that way about them, and you, you just throw it away like it's nothing, like it's a minor inconvenience! Well let me tell you something, Jack, you are cursed - just not the way you think you are.