Kel MitchellQuotes

Roxanne: You are so hot.

Ed: Oh, well, I often sweat at work.

Dex: [Ed gives him a yo-yo] What is this?

Ed: It's a yo-yo. I bought it with the 13 dollars you gave me. It lights up and flickers and everything, just like the one your dad gave you.

Dex: Why'd you get this for me?

Ed: Cause we're buds!

Ed: [about Kurt] I think he likes me.

Dex: Ed! That diphthong doesn't like you, he just wants to use you!

Ed: Well, that's not natural.

Kurt: I want you to come work for me at Mondo Burger. You make your sauce for Kurt.

Ed: Who's Kurt?

Kurt: I'm Kurt!

Ed: I'm Ed.

Kurt: I'm aware!

Ed: You said you were Kurt.

Kurt: Can I give you a lift, Ed?

Ed: Gee, I don't know dude. I weigh about 150.

Dex: You know...I don't even remember what my dad looks like.

Ed: I don't remember what my dad looks like, either, but at least I get to see him every day.

Deedee: Ed! There must be 50 customers out there! It's unbelievable! What do you put in that sauce?

Ed: [Dex, freaking out, tackles him to the ground] Well, you start off with a little lemon juice and some ketchup- Um, look, Dex, I like you as a friend and all, but it might...

Dex: No! Listen to me carefully.

Ed: Okay.

Dex: Do not tell anyone the recipe to your sauce.

Ed: Oh. Well, first you start off with a little lemon juice...

Dex: Stop it! Stop talking!

Ed: Oh.

Dex: Never tell anyone the ingredients of your sauce.

Ed: Why?

Dex: You want to save Good Burger, don't you?

Ed: Oh, yeah. Good Burger's my life.

Dex: Well, then, you got to keep your sauce recipe a secret. All right?

Ed: Okay.

Dex: All right.

Ed: Um, Dex?

Dex: Hmm?

Ed: You're squishing my pancreas.

Dex: [gets up] Sorry.

Ed: [also gets up] Thanks.

Dex: If we put this sauce on all the Good Burgers, then everyone will want to eat here! We'll knock Mondo Burger right off the map!

Ed: WHEE! That's great!

Mr. Baily: [excited] Ed, get in that kitchen and start making sauce!

Ed: [stands up; runs to the kitchen] Yippy skippy! It shall be done!

Mr. Baily: [as the employees continue clamoring with laughter] Gimme another French fry! Good Burger's back in business!

Mr. Wheat: [arrives at Good Burger] Ah, Mr. Reed. Hard at work as usual.

Dex: I'm having my lunch.

Mr. Wheat: [gives him the receipt] Well, I just got my car from the body shop and I've got to admit: It is new. Here's the receipt.

Dex: [eyes widen] 2500 dollars? No! The estimate was only for 1900.

Mr. Wheat: [chuckles; leaves] Well, that, my young brother, is why they call it an estimate. Close to, kind of, could be. And I'll meet you in about 2 and a half monthy to get me my money. Now you have a good day at work. I'm going to have lunch at Mondo Burger. Home of the big booty burger.

Ed: [sits with Dex during lunch] Mind if I sit here?

Dex: [still angry] Yes, I do mind.

Ed: Thanks.

Dex: Wh-Wh-What are you doing?

Ed: Eating my lunch.

Dex: I told you not to sit here. I don't like you. Can you get that through your head?

Ed: [pokes his head with his fries] I can try. Nope.

Dex: I'm gonna have to spell this out to you. I don't wanna sit by you. I don't wanna see you. I don't wanna smell you. I don't wanna hang out with you. I don't even wanna use words with the letter "U"!

Ed: [with 2 grapes up his nose] Look! I'm Grape Nose Boy! Bloobity Bloobity Bloobity Bloobity...

Dex: Stop that.

Ed: Bloobity Bloobity Bloobity Bloobity Bloobity Bloobity Bloobity...

Dex: Would you stop?

Ed: Bloobity Bloobity Bloobity Bloobity Bloobity Bloobity Bloobity...

Dexter: [then laughs] That ain't funny!

Ed: Bloobity Bloobity Bloobity Bloobity...Made ya laugh!

Dex: So...Oh, I give up.

Dex: Stuff. Ha, ha, ha.

Ed: [rolling on his skates] Hey, Dex. Want to hang out tonight?

Dex: [before he realizes that Ed is the one who was a roller-blading and delivery blades right in front of Dex which caused his accident, when Ed accidentally pushed Otis over, and breaks his pelvis; angrily points at Ed] I don't know, but - Hey Ed, you better be careful. You!

Ed: [turns around and looked at Dexter] Me?

Dex: Now I know where I saw you before. You're the roller-blading nut that caused my accident!

Ed: Uh...no?

Dex: You're the reason why I owe 1,900 bucks! You're the reason my mom found out I was driving without a license! And you cost me a fortune! You wrecked my summer, man. You ruined my life.

Ed: So, you don't want to hang out tonight?

Dex: No. I don't want to hang out with you...ever.

Otis: [to Dexter] Do you think you can get me to a hospital? I think I broke my butt.

Dex: [to Otis; to Ed] Come on, Otis. Get out of the way.

Kurt: [laughs along with his friends] Hey check it, boys. Right back there. It's the reject.

Dex: [sarcastically] Hey check it, Ed. It's the Mondo idiot.

Ed: Oh, well, nice to meet you Mondo Idiot. I'm Ed.

Dex: That was a stop sign!

Ed: Uh...no?

Dex: [whines] Aw, man!

Ed: [after Dexter gets the job at Good Burger] Cool! I'll teach him everything I know!

Mr. Baily: [groans] Oh, help me.

Ed: Hey, Mr. Baily! This guy needs a job. Can he have one?

Mr. Baily: No!

Dex: See ya.

Ed: Wait, wait, wait! C'mon, Mr. Baily, he really needs one. He can do fries.

Mr. Baily: Otis does fries.

Ed: Yeah, but look at him. How much longer could he possibly live?

Dex: Hey, you look familiar. Don't I know you from somewhere?

Ed: Ever been to Australia?

Dex: No.

Ed: Me neither.

Dex: I've could've sworn I've seen you someplace before.

Ed: Hey, I know! Maybe I'm someone famous! You know, like a baseball player or a pretty nurse!

Dex: What? Man, what in the world are you talking about?

Ed: Okay, okay. I give up. Who am I?

Dex: Man, I don't know who you are. Or where I know you from. Or why you think you're an attractive nurse, but I am sure I don't wanna know you any longer. Now, please go away, I've had a very bad day.

Ed: What's wrong? Were you bitten by a sheep?

Dex: [confused] What?

Ed: Did you lose your trousers?

Dex: [looks downcast] Look, you're an unusually bad guesser, so I'll tell you. I need to come up with 1,900 dollars to fix some stranger's car, another 800 to fix my mother's car, and I just got fired. Man, I can't believe Kurt fired me from Mondo Burger. I mean, he yelled at me, then he insulted me. He made fun of me.

Ed: Boy, you must really suck.

Dex: See right about now I'd slap you in your head, but I'm not sure if your brain would understand the concept of pain.

Ed: [oblivious] Hey! Wanna see my belly button?

Customer: [motioning to Ed] Excuse me! Look, I ordered one Good Burger with nothing on it!

Ed: That's what I gave you.

Customer: No, you gave me a bun. Just a bun. Look, there's no meat in here.

Ed: But you said you wanted nothing on it.

Customer: Yes, but I expected a meat patty!

Ed: Dude, a meat patty is something. You said nothing. Fizz, is a meat patty something or nothing?

Fizz: Uh, something?

Ed: [raises arm in the air] I win!

Customer: All right, that rips it! I am reporting your name to the manager!

Ed: The manager already knows my name.

Customer: [storms out] Oh, I'll see you in Hell.

Ed: Okay, see ya there!

Ed: But I don't do deliveries, sir.

Mr. Baily: Well, you're doing them for now. I fired O'Malley.

Ed: Why?

Mr. Baily: Because the boy showed up for work without his pants!

Ed: Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. Can I take your order?

Construction Worker: Well, it's about time. Can I get two Good Burgers?

Ed: Sorry, dude. I have to go get them. Customers aren't allowed in the back.

Construction Worker: [irritated] Just give me two Good Burgers!

Ed: Dude, I can't just give you two Good Burgers, you have to pay for em!

Construction Worker: [leaves] Forget it! Forget it! I've had it up to here with Good Burger! I can't wait for Mondo Burger to open.

Ed: [repeated line, always sung] I'm a dude. He's a dude. She's a dude. We're all dudes, hey!

Ed: [first, repeated, and last line] Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. Can I take your order?

Invisible Boy: So, this is basically a huge electromagnet.

Dr. Heller: Well, actually, it's an electro-nuclear-magnet. It's the next inevitable phase.

Invisible Boy: But I don't want to get frakulated!

The Bowler: Psycho-frakulated.

Invisible Boy: We still get frakulated!

Blue Raja: Sphinx, what do we do?

Sphinx: Sometimes, the true hero is the one with the courage to run away.

Bowler: I like the way this man thinks!

Invisible Boy: Let's run.

Shoveler: We can't run.

Bowler: Oh, yes! Oh, yes — it's been established that we can run.

Invisible Boy: So what's the name of this team? How about the Super Squad?

Tony P: How about the Six Dead Guys in Their Stupid Costumes? No, no, no — the Magnificent Dead Guys. How about that?

Tony C: How about the Legendary Superfreaks?

Tony P: Way too positive. They totalled our car.