Space Jam - Miscommunication During a Road Trip
Stan Podolak:
Aw, I'm really sorry it took so long.
Michael Jordan:
Don't worry about it.
Stan Podolak:
That exit on 65 wasn't clearly marked.
Michael Jordan:
Hold up, hold up, right here.
Stan Podolak:
What, here?
Michael Jordan:
Yes.
Michael Jordan:
Thanks for the ride, Sherm. I appreciate it.
Stan Podolak:
It's Stan, Mike.
Michael Jordan:
Sorry.
Stan Podolak:
But that's all right, you can call me Sherm if you want to because I've followed your whole career and I think you're the greatest athlete that's ever lived.
Michael Jordan: [Trying to get out of the car]
Stan. Stan. Stan. How do I get outta here? The door doesn't work.
Stan Podolak: [Gets out of the car; Taps the car door and opens it]
Oh! I'm sorry. I-I- I forgot to tell you it's a classic. It's a classic, but it's got a few peccadilloes. Hold on just a second.
Michael Jordan: [Gets out of the car]
Huh, a few, huh? It's smoking too, man. You need to get that checked.
Michael Jordan: [Takes the bag from the car]
Thanks for the ride.
Stan Podolak: [Looking at the house]
Oh. Oh, this is nice. This is a nice house. Oh, that is a beauty. What is that, Colonial?
Michael Jordan:
No, it's a nice house.
Stan Podolak:
If you need anything done around the house, I'd be more than happy to help you out.
Michael Jordan:
Oh, no. I'm fine, thanks.
Stan Podolak:
Anything you need.
Michael Jordan:
Nah. You gave me a ride. I appreciate it.
Stan Podolak:
Okay, sure.
Michael Jordan:
Tomorrow, I'ma drive, so I don't need the ride. But thanks, though.
Stan Podolak:
Oh. Why? Too conspicuous?
Michael Jordan: [Smiling]
Yeah.
Stan Podolak: [Chuckling]
All right. All right.
Michael Jordan:
Thanks, though.
Stan Podolak: [Gets in his car]
All right. Tomorrow!
Michael Jordan:
See you tomorrow.
Michael Jordan: [Seeing his dog]
Come on, dog. No, not today. Oh!
Michael Jordan:
Dog, get off me! Your breath!
Jordan's housekeeper: [Runs out and sees Michael; To Charles]
Mr. Jordan, are you okay? Get off of him, Charles! Come on!
Michael Jordan:
Bad dog! Git! Oh!
Jordan's housekeeper: [Grabs Charles by the collar, pulling him away]
Come on, Charles! Get off of him! Pooch, stop it! Get off of him before I cook you! Come on, come on, come on, baby, come on.
Juanita Jordan:
Come on, you guys. Get out of the car!
Kids:
Bye, Mr. Jordan.
Michael Jordan:
Bye, kids.
Little League girl:
Hey, good game.
Michael Jordan: [Concerned]
Hey, Jeff. You okay?
Michael Jordan:
How was your game?
Jeffery Jordan:
I don't wanna talk about it.
Marcus Jordan: [Running past him]
Hi, dad!
Michael Jordan:
Hey, hey, hey.
Passengers: [Driving by and waving to Michael]
Bye Michael!
Jasmine Jordan: [Happily running up to him]
Daddy! Daddy!
Michael Jordan: [Picks her up and hugs her]
Hi, how you doing?
Juanita Jordan:
Hey.
Michael Jordan:
Hey.
Juanita Jordan: [Kisses him]
Ooh! You're all covered up with drool, baby.
Michael Jordan:
That's your dog.
Michael Jordan:
What's the matter with Jeff?
Juanita Jordan:
Well, he went 2 for 5 and lost 32 points in his batting average.
Michael Jordan: [Shocked]
Is that all?
Juanita Jordan:
Yeah, so that puts him at, like, uh, 685 or something.
Michael Jordan:
He's batting what?
Juanita Jordan:
Mmm, smells good in here. Whatcha cooking?
Jordan's housekeeper:
Chicken.
Jordan's housekeeper:
Chicken and collard greens.
Michael Jordan: [Housekeeper chuckles and Michael feels sad]
Good. I'ma need a good meal tonight.
Juanita Jordan: [Concerned]
Is everything okay?
Michael Jordan:
Boy, I stunk up the place. I hope this baseball's thing is a good idea.
Jim Rome:
It was another career day for Michael Jordan at Barons Field this afternoon. Let's face it. This baseball...
Michael Jordan: [He goes into the living room and sees the news on TV, and sits down to watch]
What are you guys watching?
Jim Rome:
Today he went 0 for 4 with three strikeouts.
Michael Jordan:
Is this the only thing on TV?
Jim Rome:
That brings his batting average down to an anemic .214, which also happens to be his playing weight. Baseball bat? Get this guy a tennis racket!
Jeffrey Jordan:
Did everyone get mad at you?
Michael Jordan:
No, worse. Everyone was real nice about it.
Jim Rome:
Michael, I know golf is your sport, but not here.
Jeffrey Jordan:
I think you should open your stance a little. It might make you more aggressive at the plate.
Michael Jordan:
Oh, you think so? I'll try to remember that.
Jim Rome:
Watching this hurts me more than it hurts you. What is that?
Michael Jordan: [Picks up the remote]
What are you guys doing watching that stuff? It's bad for you.
Michael Jordan: [Gets up and goes into the kitchen]
There you go, Road Runner. Beep-beep, here. Looney Tunes.
Road Runner:
Beep beep!
Porky Pig: [Jumps in front of the screen, stammering; Panting to Wile E. and Road Runner, stammering; Jeff sighs]
Stop this cartoon! We got an emergency cartoon character union meeting to go to.
Road Runner: [Running off]
Beep-beep!
Porky Pig: [Running after him]
Hey, wait for me! Hold your horses!
Marcus Jordan:
Dang. Where'd they go?
Jasmine Jordan:
Oh, no.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.