Grand Canyon

Finding Peace in Loneliness and Acceptance

Mack He's kinda lonely, but he seems peaceful about it.

Jane That would be nice.

Dee Ya know, it would be great if you could sort of be down about things, but still be alright with it. Like, finally accept that fact that you're gonna feel bad most of the time and not fight it.

Mack Of course, it would also be nice not to feel bad most of the time.

Dee Yeah, but that's how you get yourself in trouble. By thinking how nice it'd be to be happy more.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Fish Called Wanda

Defending Intelligence Against Insults

Otto Don't call me stupid.

[repeated]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Pirates of Penzance

Celebration of the Major General's Status

Samuel For he is a Major General!

Daughters He is, hurrah for the Major General!

Major General Stanley And it is, it is a glorious thing to be a Major General.

All, in chorus Hurrah for the Major General, hurrah for the Major General!

The Pirate King (annoyed, muttering) That's the same as the "Pirate King" tune!

Major General Stanley Now that I have introduced myself, I should like to know what's going on here!

Kate Stanley Oh, Papa, we —

Samuel I can explain in two words: we propose to marry your daughters.

Gen. Stanley But-but... who are you?

The Pirate King We are all single gentlemen.

Kate Don't believe them, Papa! They're pirates — the famous Pirates of Penzance!

Gen. Stanley Mmm, wait a moment... I object to pirates as sons-in-law!

Pirate King Well, we object to major generals as fathers-in law! But we waive the point. We do not press it. We look over it.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Emperor's Club

Classroom Challenge and Historical Knowledge

William Hundert Mr. Bell, will you please finish my diagram for the class?

Robert Brewster Oh ho, busted!

William Hundert Octavian was also known as Augustus and his title was ______? Sedgewick looks at the blackboard like a dog staring at its reflection in water Mr. Bell! An ordinary dung beetle traveling across the floor of this classroom would know the answer to that question!

Sedgewick Bell Uh, Emperor?

William Hundert Correct. Can you name any of the subsequent Roman Emperors? There were forty-one.

Sedgewick Bell I only know seven.

William Hundert Very well. Recite them.

Sedgewick Bell Sleepy, Grumpy, Bashful, Doc, Happy, Sneezy...Dopey.

William Hundert Can you, in fact, name any Emperor of Rome?

Sedgewick Bell I know four. Let me see...

Sedgewick Bell John, Paul, Ringo and uh, George!

[faux-British accent]

William Hundert MR. BELL! A word of warning! As the great wit ] once wrote, loosely translated; "Youth ages. Immaturity is outgrown. Ignorance can be educated and drunkenness sobered, but STUPID lasts forever.

[[Aristophanes]

William Hundert Class please recite, in chronological order, the entire line of succession for the Roman Empire.

Class Augustus, Tiberius, Caligula, Claudius, Nero, Galba, Otho, Vitellius, Vepasian, Titus, Domitian, Nerva, Trajan, Hadrian, Antonius Pius, Marcus Aurelius, Lucius Verus, Commodus, Pertinax, Didius Julianus, Septimius Severus...

[in unison]

William Hundert Thank you, class, that will do. Mr. Bell, you may be seated.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Fish Called Wanda

A Clash of Vulgarities and Insults

Otto You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-face, dickhead, asshole.

Archie How very interesting. You're a true vulgarian, aren't you?

Otto You're the vulgarian, you fuck!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Soapdish

Disagreement Over Who Can Kiss Whom

Jeffrey Anderson Of course I can kiss her!

Lori Craven This is ridiculous! I can kiss who I want!

Celeste Talbert No! You can't! You can't kiss her!

Jeffrey Anderson Why because she's your niece?

Celeste Talbert No, you nitwit! Because she's my daughter! And your daughter.

[shouts]

Lori Craven What?

Jeffrey Anderson What are you talking about?

Celeste Talbert We're her parents! You and I! We're her Mommy and her Daddy.

[sobbing]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Life as a House

Struggling Against Constant Comparison and Expectations

George Monroe The game was to make me smaller than he was; smaller always smaller. No matter what. He could be almost invisible as a human being, but I still had to be smaller. So if I got good grades in school then I was a pussy for not playing football. If I cut my hair for him it was never short enough, or if I shaved my head then I looked like a psycho. I never won the game, ever. And if he couldn't make me smaller with words...

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Fish Called Wanda

Debating Intelligence and Secrecy in Government

Wendy My father was in the Secret Service, Mr. Manfredjensenjen, and I happen to know perfectly well that you do not keep the general public informed when you are debriefing a KGB defector in a safe house.

Otto Oh you don't?

Wendy Not unless you're congenitally insane or irretrievably stupid, no.

Otto Don't call me stupid.

Wendy Why on Earth not?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Cry Freedom

Trust and Resourcefulness in Challenging Times

Donald Woods Do you know anyone we can trust, who has a car?

Tenjy I trust me! And I have a car! The Boers will shit themselves!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Pirates of Penzance

A Dilemma of Conscience Among Pirates

Frederic Oh, HORROR!

The Pirate King What's the matter?

Frederic Ought I tell you? No, no I cannot! And yet as one of your band -

Pirate King Speak out! I-CHARGE-YOU-BY-THAT-SENSE-OF-CONSCIENTIOUSNESS-TO-WHICH-WE-HAVE-NEVER-YET-APPEALED-IN-VAIN!

Pirate King Yeah.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Grand Canyon

Perspective on Life's Challenges

Simon So what do you think?

[as Mack and Simon and their wives and families look at the Grand Canyon]

Mack I think it's not all bad.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Grand Canyon

Demanding Acknowledgment in a Relationship

Dee You've denied me in every way you can. Everything I've wanted, you've denied me.

Mack I've been honest all along. Even that night.

Dee Who gives a shit? Don't you see what you do? Even now, you wanna deny me what's rightfully mine.

Mack Which is?

Dee To resent the hell outta you. To feel totally rejected and hated. To hate you for doing it to me. There are good men out there who are gonna treat me like I'm the very thing they want. And then you do that thing with Jane.

Mack What?

Dee You know, with that guy, that tow-truck guy.

Mack What about it? What's that got to do with anything?

Dee You don't even know, do you? You don't even know why that hurts me so much. Jane's in love. She thinks this could be the one.

Mack Is that bad? I thought she was your friend.

Dee She is my friend. I'm very happy for her, but it makes me feel like shit... that you're out there finding her the love of her life and I'm here like what? I'm here like shit. How do you think that's gonna make me feel?

Mack Dee, I understand you're angry with me, but why would...?

Dee Forget it. It doesn't have to make sense.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Emperor's Club

A Conversation Between Teacher and Student

William Hundert I met with your father.

Sedgewick Bell So I have been told. He called me up and we had a real heart-to-heart.

William Hundert I am giving you this.

Sedgewick Bell What is it?

William Hundert It is my textbook on classics when I was a high school student. Study Chapter 2. It has most of the material on tomorrow's quiz.

Sedgewick Bell What for?

William Hundert In preparation for the Mr. Julius Caesar competition. Sedgewick, I am giving you my book because I believe in you. You can be the top of your class if you wanted to be. It is up to you.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Soapdish

Dramatic Revelations in a Soap Opera

Montana Moorehead WAIT! Wait! But I'm carrying his child!

[as Lori, Celeste, And Jeffrey kiss and make up]

Jeffrey Anderson I didn't sleep with her! Will somebody please believe me?!

Edmund Edwards This is what I meant. This is what I told them to do. This is soap opera!

[offstage, delighted]

Jeffrey Anderson Doctor!

Ariel Maloney A second opinion... this is Dr. Frans Blau of the sex change clinic in Bethesda, Maryland.

Rose Schwartz Thank you. Dr. Randall, after extensive investigation, I've come to the conclusion that it's virtually impossible for you to have impregnated your nurse, Montana Moorehead. Because before she came to our little clinic, she was... Milton Moorehead of Syosset, Long Island.

[German accent]

Rose Schwartz Hello.

[normal voice]

Montana Moorehead NO! NO! NO!

[shouts and runs off]

Edmund Edwards She's a boy!

[offstage]

David Barnes Yeah, well we knew that.

[starts gagging]

Edmund Edwards Are you okay?

David Barnes I'm fine. I'm just going to go congratulate the others.

[weak voice]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Fish Called Wanda

Struggles with Trust and Disappointment

Otto Okay...Okay... DISAPPOINTED!!! Son of a bitch! What do you have to do in this life to make people trust you?!?!...People are always takin advantage of me.

[On finding George has moved the jewels, forestalling his and Wanda's attempted double-cross]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Fish Called Wanda

Defining the Meaning of "Friendly

Otto When you say "friendly", what are we talking about here? Cordial? Courteous? Supportive? What?

[to Wanda about Archie]

Wanda I don't know. Let's just see what happens.

Otto So, "friendly" might include actual, uh, what? Penetration?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

In & Out

Introducing a New Friend at the Intersection

Howard Brackett This is my Peter - uh, my friend Peter. We just met at the, uh, intersexual... homosection... INTERSECTION!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Emperor's Club

A Complicated Matter of Expectations

Mr. Hundert That was quite an interesting performance.

Sedgewick Bell I knew you saw. How come you did not call me out?

[sullen]

Mr. Hundert It is a complicated matter.

Sedgewick Bell Was it on account of my father?

Mr. Hundert That had nothing to do with your father.

Sedgewick Bell Sure, Mr. Hundert, sure.

Mr. Ellerby William! Quite the performance! You know, I was thinking we could move the Mr. Julius Caesar competition to Alumni Weekend, instead of just any old day. That way we could have some former winners see the competition. Just some ideas which would auger well for your headmastership.

Mr. Hundert Sedgewick Bell cheated.

Mr. Ellerby What?! Well, the pressure to succeed can be oppressive. Whether we think it was wrong or right, Woodbridge felt it in the school's best interest to give Sedgewick a pass. I mean, William, you did not put the boy on stage. He got that far on his own. And for that, you should be praised.

[inside office, where Hundert reveals the confrontation]

William Hundert This began a long and rocky truce with Sedgewick Bell. Any trust we had in each other was snuffed out, as was any consideration by him with integrity and diligence. The subsequent years showed a series of pranks, crudeness and disrespect in general. As for the other students, his effect on them was almost hypnotic. He went through the motions in his classes, and his grades were an avalanche of C-s, Ds & Fs.

[as narrator; Scenes show Sedgewick dumping water on other students or vandalizing the Julius Caesar statue]

Mr. Woodbridge Sedgewick Hiram Bell!

William Hundert Although his father's connections and status guaranteed him a place at Yale, it was in the spring of 1976 with a sense of profound sadness that I handed Sedgewick Bell his diploma.

[as narrator]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Soapdish

Unexpected Reactions in a Heated Moment

Lori Craven MOTHER!

Lori Craven No, I can't let you do this!

Burton White She spoke?

[off stage]

Jeffrey Anderson She spoke!

Montana Moorehead Sudden speech, the last stages of brain fever! She can blow up any moment!

Lori Craven I can always speak! Mother...

Montana Moorehead She's MY mother!

Celeste Talbert MONTANA, SHUT UP!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Pink Panther

A Humorous Exchange on Worth and Recognition

Inspector Jacques Clouseau Without you, I would be nothing!

Dreyfus Perhaps you still are.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau Ha! Excellent verbal joust, inspector! We must do lunch sometime. Had it not been for you, who knows? Someone else might have won the Medal of Honor this year.

Dreyfus Yes, I know. Idiot. Oh no.

[''Grumbling as Clouseau gets in the car''; ''Looks down'']

Inspector Jacques Clouseau What? What did you say?

Ponton Nothing.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau You mean, you didn't just say: Stop the car, dear God, I beg of you, stop the car?

Ponton No.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau Hmm.

Chief Inspector Dreyfus CLOUSEAU!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Emperor's Club

Fundraising Experience Discussion in Education

Miss Johnston We have debated long and hard about taking you out of your classroom.

Mr. Castle As you know, a headmaster's job is a rigorous one. One must be prepared to do battle 24 hours a day, sometimes it can feel like more.

William Hundert Well, after rowing the lake every day for the past seven presidential administrations, with exceptions to inclement weather of course, I feel fit enough.

Miss Johnston Mr. Hundert, what we are saying is this. What kind of fundraising experience do you have?

William Hundert What are you getting at?

Miss Johnston This is hard fact about Saint Benedict's. Enrollment is down. In light of what has happened recently, attendance at the military academies have spiked, and families are considering schools like Saint Benedict's as too old fashioned in this day and age. We need to stop doing outmoded ideas and look to the future. So..

William Hundert Then who? Someone from the outside?

Mr. Castle James Ellerby. Mr. Ellerby has proposed some very exciting fundraising possibilities.

William Hundert Miss Johnston, I've been assistant headmaster for 17 years. I fail to see how Mr. Ellerby's qualifications as a fundraiser...

Miss Johnston It's not just about fundraising. James Ellerby is a forward-thinking man. He's reached out to the community. He's built relationships to some of the most important alumni. He's a wonderful communicator, with impeccable moral standing and an unwavering commitment to this school. So...

William Hundert Then you leave me no choice but to tender my resignation.

Mr. Castle I would ask you not. You are a teacher, and the finest one we've ever had.

William Hundert Please excuse me.

Mr. Castle Please understand, Mr. Hundert, you will be welcome back here at Saint Benedict's anytime. The door will forever be open.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

In & Out

Reflections on Romantic Poetry and Shakespeare

Howard Brackett Class: so, uh, where were we? Romantic poetry. Shakespeare. Talented. English. Dead.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Midsummer Night's Dream

Miscommunication Between Bottom and Quince

Nick Bottom Since lion vile hath here deflowered my dear...

Peter Quince DEVOURED.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Emperor's Club

Reflections on Opportunity and Loss

William Hundert According to Heraclitus, we cannot step into the same river twice. To put it another way, an opportunity lost stays lost forever. While I agree with the spirit of that saying, I have found that the world does allow for some second chances. When Elizabeth's marriage had ended and she returned from England, the waters were still as swimmingly lovely as when we first met. But if time made concessions for love, it made none for death. And when the school's beloved headmaster, Terrence Woodbridge, passed away, I found a sense of profound sorrow. Although the Sedgewick Bell affair tested our friendship, he had been, for a half a century, the academic and moral compass of our school. A role, that was now mine to fulfill.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Pirates of Penzance

The Ethics of Pirate Warfare

Frederic You make it a point of never attacking a weaker party than yourselves, and when you attack a stronger one you invariably get thrashed!

The Pirate King (holding up a finger) There's some truth in that.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Pirates of Penzance

Embracing the Identity of a Pirate King

The Pirate King Oh, better far to live and die / Under the brave black flag I fly, / Than play a sanctimonious part / With a pirate head and a pirate heart. / Away to the cheating world go you, / Where pirates all are well-to-do; / But I'll be true to the song I sing, / And live and die a Pirate King. / For I am a Pirate King! / And it is, it is a glorious thing / To be a Pirate King!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Emperor's Club

A Simple Exchange of Names

William Hundert Excuse me?

Louis Masoudi Huh? What me?

William Hundert Yes, sir. What is your name?

Louis Masoudi Uh, Louis.

William Hundert Just Louis?

Louis Masoudi Louis Masoudi, sir.

William Hundert Mr. Masoudi, could you define the word "path" for me?

Louis Masoudi Well, there are several definitions, I suppose.

William Hundert Would "a route along which someone or something moves" be among them?

Louis Masoudi Yeah. Oh, yeah. No. Yeah. I'm s-sorry, sir.

William Hundert Follow the path, Mr. Masoudi. Walk where the great men before you have walked.

Louis Masoudi Yes, sir. It's, uh - It's better for the grass.

William Hundert It's better for you.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Emperor's Club

Moral Dilemmas in Historical Context

William Hundert Let us be sacrificers, but not butchers. Your ] lacks conviction, Mr. Bell. You are aware of what you are saying, do you not? The fate of the Roman Republic is at stake!

[[Brutus]

William Hundert Yes, I know not for you, but try to place yourself in the time period. You, Brutus, the noblest Roman of them all, are at the center of a conspiracy to assassinate ]! And you believe this is for the good of all Rome. But you are struggling profoundly with the moral and physical implications of what you are about to do.

[[Julius Caesar]

Sedgewick Bell I do not agree with their plan.

William Hundert Brutus does not agree with their plan?

Sedgewick Bell No, I do not agree with their plan. They should've killed Marc Antony, I mean... Brutus is a pussy.

Sedgewick Bell In the end, Marc Antony ended up taking him down, right?

William Hundert He and Octavian, yes. In a manner of speaking.

Sedgewick Bell If he did what the other guy suggested, uh...uh...

William Hundert ...Cassius.

Sedgewick Bell ...yeah, that is it. If he did what Cassius recommended...Brutus might have gone on to become King!

William Hundert Emperor, as a matter of fact. Which Brutus had no desire to be.

Sedgewick Bell Whatever! He would have won!

William Hundert Yes, but at what cost? Do you remember the lessons of ]?

[[Socrates]

Sedgewick Bell Not really.

William Hundert It is not living that is important, but living properly. Socrates chose to die an unjust death, a death he freely accepted, rather than break the laws of Athens to which he pledged his loyalty!

Sedgewick Bell Another genius.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Beauty and the Beast

Journey to the Enchanted Castle

Maurice No. I'm sure this is the way. Do you hear those wolves? That means we're getting very close to the castle.

Gaston Look, enough is enough. We have to turn back.

Maurice Stop.

Maurice That's it. There it is. That's the tree. I'm sure of it. It-it was downed by lightning at the time. But now it's... resumed an upright position through some sort of... magic or other.

[snaps his finger; gets off the cart]

LeFou You really want to marry into this family?

[to Gaston]

Maurice So that means that the... the castle is that - No. No, it's - That way. Definitely... that way.

[motions falling tree with his arm]

Gaston I am done playing this game of yours! Where is Belle?

Maurice The Beast took her and she...

Gaston There are no such things as beasts... or talking teacups... or magic! But there are wolves, frostbite, and starvation!

LeFou Deep breaths, Gaston. Deep breaths.

[stands up]

Gaston So, why don't we just turn around, go back to Villeneuve? I'm sure Belle is at home, cooking up a lovely dinner.

[breathes deeply, then turns to Maurice]

Maurice If you think I've made all this up, then why did you offer to help?

Gaston Because, I want to marry your daughter! Now, let's go home.

[calms down]

Maurice Belle is not at home! She is with the...

Gaston You say "Beast" one more time, I WILL FEED YOU TO THE WOLVES!!!!!

[angrily grabs Maurice]

LeFou Gaston, stop it! Breathe, think of happy thoughts, go back to the war, blood, explosions, countless widows.

[tries to stop him]

Gaston Widows...

LeFou Yes, yes. That's it... That's it.

[Gaston calms down and LeFou taps his nose]

Gaston Maurice! Please forgive me, old bean. That's no way to talk to my future father-in-law, now is it?

[turns to Maurice, smiling. Maurice recoils]

Maurice Future father-in-law?

Gaston Yeah.

Maurice You will never marry my daughter.

LeFou I saw that coming.

Gaston If Maurice won't give me his blessing, then he's in my way. Once the wolves are finished with him, Belle will have no one to take care of her but ME!

LeFou For the sake of exhausting all of our options, do we maybe want to consider a slightly less... gruesome alternative?

Gaston Are you coming?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Ice Storm

Advice on Self-Abuse in Everyday Life

Ben Hood On the self-abuse front - and this is important - I don't think it's advisable to do it in the shower. It wastes water and electricity and because we all expect you to be doing it there in any case. And, not on... under the linen... Well... Anyway, if you're worried about anything at all, just feel free to ask and we'll look it up.

[to Paul]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Emperor's Club

Concerns About Sedgewick's Academic Performance

William Hundert That is why I am here Senator, I have come to see you about your son.

Senator Hiram Bell Sedgewick? Oh Jesus, what the devil has he done now?

William Hundert Sir, Sedgewick is seemingly not paying attention in class, nor is he doing the assigned reading.

Senator Hiram Bell Let me ask you something. What is the good of what you are teaching these boys?

William Hundert The good?

Senator Hiram Bell Yes, the good.

William Hundert Senator, the Greeks and the Romans provided the model of democracy which, I do not need to tell you, the Framers of our Constitution used as their inspiration. But more important, I believe that when the boys read ], ], ], ], they are put into direct contact with men who, in their own age, exemplify the highest standards of statesmanship, civic virtue, character and diction.

[[Plato; [Aristotle; [Cicero; [Julius Caesar]

William Hundert Sir, it's my job to mold your son's character...

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Life as a House

Listening on the Edge of Change

George Monroe Twenty-five years ago, my father crossed a double line. Changed my life, and the life of a little girl forever for that mistake. I just cant's stop thinking about her. With every crash of every wave I hear something now. I never listened before. I'm on the edge of a cliff, listening. Almost finished. If you were a house Sam, this is where you'd want to be build. On rock, facing the sea, listening, listening.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Fish Called Wanda

Discussion on Winning and Personal Perspectives

Otto You know your problem? You don't like winners.

Archie Winners?

Otto Yeah, winners.

Archie Winners, like... ]?

[[w:North Vietnam|North Vietnam]

Otto Shut up! We did not lose ]! It was a tie!

[[w:Vietnam War|Vietnam]

Archie I'm tellin you, baby, they kicked your little ass there! Boy, they whooped yer hide real good!

[Cowboy-like drawl]

Otto No they didn't!!

Archie Oh yes they did!

Otto Oh no they... SHUT UP! Goodbye Archie.

Archie Gonna shoot me Otto?

Otto Er Yes. Yes fraid so old chap sorry.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Ice Storm

Couples Therapy and Relationship Conflicts

Ben Hood The only big fight we've had in years is about whether to go back into couples therapy.

[to Elena]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Soapdish

Unexpected Lunch Encounter and Test Results

Celeste Talbert Dr. Randall, what a surprise! Are you having lunch here?

[as Maggie]

Jeffrey Anderson I will if it's that sample. Huh... I wish it was that simple.

[as Dr. Randall]

Edmund Edwards This guy never heard of contact lenses?

[offstage]

Jeffrey Anderson The test results have come back.

Celeste Talbert And?

Jeffrey Anderson And I'm afraid the results are very disturbing. It seems that Angelique has a rare case of brake fluid... Bran... fluid. Bran flavor.

[pause]

Burton White What the hell?

David Barnes Brain fever!

[offstage]

Edmund Edwards Say it!

[offstage, loudly]

Celeste Talbert Brain fever!

Jeffrey Anderson Yes. Brain fever. Or what we call in Austria... Kopfgeschlagen. At the current rate of inflation, her brain will laterally explore the...

[as Dr. Randall; they both goggle at the word]

Celeste Talbert Literally explode?

Jeffrey Anderson Exactly, within the next three houses.

Celeste Talbert Hours?

Jeffrey Anderson Yes, will literally explode within next three hours. I would suggest leaving the restraint.

Celeste Talbert Restaurant?

Jeffrey Anderson Restaurant, yes.

Celeste Talbert Her brain will actually explode?

Jeffrey Anderson Yes, yes, I've, um, seen it happen. It's a dreadful, dreadful thug. Thing.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Life as a House

Love's Insufficiency Amidst Unwavering Faithfulness

George Monroe Do I still love you? Absolutely. There is not a doubt in my mind. Through all my mind, my ego... I was always faithful in my love for you. That I made you doubt it, that is the great mistake of a life full of mistakes. The truth doesn't set us free, Robin. I can tell you I love you as many times as you can stand to hear it and all that does, the only thing, is remind us... that love is not enough. Not even close.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Emperor's Club

A Teacher's Reflection on Ambition and Change

William Hundert I should have known Ellerby was conducting a cloak & dagger behind the scenes campaign for years to take the top spot. He is godfather to children of two different trustees, for crying out loud.

Elizabeth Hundert Here is to Saint Benedict's, and your unexpected retirement. Now that that chapter is over in our lives, any future plans?

[Hunderts toast]

William Hundert I have always wanted to go into my father's line of work; to write. I have a good idea for a fictional book about the rise of the Roman Republic.

Elizabeth Hundert James Ellerby is on the phone.

James Ellerby The merger a few years back made him CEO of one of the foremost conglomerates in America.

William Hundert What does that have to do with this meeting?

James Ellerby The library is badly in need of repairs. Sedgewick Bell's company has offered to build a new multimillion dollar library, entirely paid by Sedgewick, to be named in honor of his late father. However, that is contingent on one condition: that he have a reunion of your 1972 fall class with you hosting a rematch of the Mr. Julius Caesar competition.

William Hundert Why now?

James Ellerby He claims he wants to regain his honor and display his knowledge after all this time. If this library is built it would be the largest donation in the history of the school.

William Hundert And a retired classics teacher with no fundraising experience is the linchpin in all this?

James Ellerby Amazing how the wheel turns, William.

James Ellerby Bell Industries owns a 5-star resort on the Gold Coast. You and all your students will be put up there.

[narrating]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Soapdish

Flirtation and Confidence in a New Encounter

Ariel Maloney New boy in town?

Jeffrey Anderson Just got off the choo-choo... you have beautiful eyes.

Ariel Maloney They're nothing compared to my tits! You should come up and see them sometime.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

In & Out

Unexpected Revelation at a Wedding

Howard Brackett I just came out! At my wedding!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Fish Called Wanda

Otto's Provocation Towards Ken

Otto Oh look, it's K-K-Ken! C-C-Coming to k-k-kill me! How you gonna c-c-catch me, K-K-Ken?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Emperor's Club

Reflections on Life and Legacy

William Hundert As I've gotten older, I realize I'm certain of only two things. Days that begin with rowing on a lake are better than days that do not. Second, a man's character is his fate. And as a student of history, I find this hard to refute. For most of us our stories can be written long before we die. There are exceptions among the great men of history, but they are rare, and I am not one of them. I am a teacher - simply that. I taught for 34 years. One day I stopped teaching. Those were the facts of my life's chronicle. The last chapter had been written. My book was closed.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Midsummer Night's Dream

Transformation and Confusion in A Midsummer Night's Dream

Tom Snout Bottom, thou art changed. What do I see on thee?

[Puck has turned Bottom into a Donkey]

Nick Bottom What do you see? What; do you see an ass head of your own, do you?

Peter Quince Bless me. Thou art translated.

[backing away]

Nick Bottom Why do they run away? I see their knavery. This is to make an ass of me.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Beauty and the Beast

A Father's Refusal and a Daughter's Plea

Gaston Have you seen the inside of a mad house, Maurice? You wouldn't last a week. Just give me your daughter and I'll set you free.

[to Maurice, as he's thrown in a carriage]

Maurice Never.

Gaston Take him away!

Belle STOP!! Papa!

[gets off of Phillippe and runs to Maurice in the carriage]

Maurice Oh, Belle! I thought I lost you.

Belle Let him out! He's hurt!

[turns to D'Arque]

D'Arque We can't do that, miss, but we'll take very good care of him.

Belle My father's not crazy! Gaston, tell him!

[turns to Gaston]

Gaston You know how loyal, I am your family. But your father's been making some unbelievable claims.

Monsieur Jean It's true, Belle. He's been raving about a Beast in a castle.

Belle I've just come from a castle, there is a Beast!

Gaston You say anything to set him free. Your word is hardly proof!

Belle I want proof? Show me the Beast! There's my proof!

[uses the magic mirror; the mirror shows the Beast roaring. She shows him to the townspeople, who recoil in fear]

Gaston This is sorcery! Look at this Beast! LOOK AT HIS FANGS! HIS CLAWS!!

[grabs the magic mirror; He shows the townspeople about the Beast]

Belle No. Don't be afraid! He's gentle and kind.

Gaston The monster has her under his spell. If I didn't know better, I'd say she even cared for him!

[turns to Belle]

Belle He's NOT a monster, Gaston! BUT YOU!! The Beast wouldn't hurt anyone!

[turns to the townspeople]

Gaston I've heard of the effects of dark magic, but I've never before seen it with my own eyes! This is a threat to a very existence! We can't have her running off to warn the Beast! Lock her up, too.

Belle No!

Tom Come here!

Belle NO!

Tom Shut up.

Belle You won't get away with this, Gaston!

Maurice Oh, Belle!

LeFou Gaston, with all due respect...

[grabs Gaston's arm]

Gaston Do you want to be next? Fetch my horse. Stand guard. Don't let them escape! This creature will curse us all if we don't stop him! WELL, I SAY WE KILL THE BEAST!!!

[LeFou is shocked into silence; comes up to the carriage, to D'Arque; to the townspeople; the townspeople cheers]

A Fish Called Wanda

American Pride and English Dependence

Otto Oh you English are SO superior aren't you? Well, would you like to know where you'd be without US the good old U.S. of A. to protect you? I'll tell you. The smallest fucking province in the Russian Empire, that's where! So DON'T call me stupid, lady. Just THANK me! ...If it wasn't for us, you'd all be speaking German, singing, "Deutschland, Deutschland über alles!

A Fish Called Wanda

A Disagreement Over an Apology

Archie All right, all right, I apologize.

Otto You're really sorry?

Archie I'm really really sorry. I apologize unreservedly.

Otto You take it back?

Archie I do. I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.

Otto Okay.

[thinks a moment]

Beauty and the Beast

A Urgent Warning in a Mysterious Castle

Belle Papa, is that you?

Maurice Belle, how did you find me?

Belle Your hands are ice. We need to get you home.

Maurice Belle. Belle, you must leave here at once. This castle is alive. Now go before he finds you!

Belle Who?

Belle Who's there? Who are you?!

Beast Who are you?

[angrily]

Belle I've come for my father.

Beast Your father... is a THIEF.

Belle Liar!

Beast He stole a rose.

Belle I asked for the rose. Punish me, not him.

Maurice No, he means forever. Apparently, that's what happens around here when you pick a flower!

[to Belle]

Belle A life sentence for a rose?

[to the Beast]

Beast I received eternal damnation for one. I'm merely locking him away. Now, do you still wish to take your father's place?

[leaps down to her section of the tower, but remains hidden in the shadows]

Belle Come into the light.

[The Beast doesn't move. Belle grabs Lumière and holds him up to the Beast's face. Seeing the Beast's intimidating appearance, she gasps in horror]

Beast Choose.

[scowling]

Maurice Belle, I won't let you do this. I lost your mother, I won't lose you too! Now go. Go!

[coughs]

Belle All right, Papa. I'll leave. I need a minute alone with him. You're being so cold-hearted you won't allow a daughter to say goodbye to her father? Forever can spare a minute.

[to the Beast; The Beast turns away]

Beast When this door closes, it will not open again.

Belle I should have been here with you.

Maurice Listen, Belle. It's alright. Go. Live your life, and forget about me.

Belle Forget you? Everything I am is because of you.

Maurice I love you, Belle. Don't be afraid.

Belle I love you too, Papa. I'm not afraid. And I will escape, I promise.

[she and Maurice hug; whispers]

Maurice What?

[confused; Belle pushes Maurice out of the dungeon and closes the door]

Beast You took his place.

Belle He's my father.

Beast Then he is a fool. And so are you!

Maurice Belle...

Belle Papa! Be gentle with him!

[to the Beast]

Maurice Belle, I'll come back! I promise!

The Emperor's Club

The Teacher's Hope for Character Development

William Hundert However much we stumble, it is a teacher's burden always to hope, that with learning, a boy's character might be changed. And, so, the destiny of a man.

The Emperor's Club

Exploring Ancient Roman Government Forms

William Hundert And with the demise of the Roman Monarchy, two new forms of government vied to take power in Rome. One was?

Martin Blythe Republic?

William Hundert Correct. Republic, or the rule of law, was the one that ultimately succeeded the monarchy. The other was?

Robert Brewster Tyranny?

William Hundert In spirit, perhaps, but etymologically, no. What was it?

Deepak Mehta Oligarchy?

William Hundert Correct. Oligarchy, or the rule of a few. Tyranny is what we have here in this classroom, and it works.

The Ice Storm

Thanksgiving Reflections Amidst Social Awareness

Wendy Hood Dear Lord, thank you for this Thanksgiving holiday. And for all the material possessions we have and enjoy. And for letting us white people ]. And stuff ourselves like pigs, even though children in Asia are being ].

[[w:Manifest Destiny|kill all the Indians and steal their tribal lands; [w:Napalm|napalmed]

Ben Hood Jesus! Enough, alright? Paul… roll?

A Fish Called Wanda

Intellectual Disputes and Misunderstandings

Wanda But you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?

Otto Apes don't read philosophy.

[superior smile]

Wanda Yes they do, Otto, they just don't understand it! Now let me correct you on a couple things, okay? Aristotle was not Belgian! The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself!" And the London Underground is not a political movement! Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked em up. Now. You have just assaulted the one man who can keep you out of jail and make you rich. So what are you going to do about it, huh? What would... an intellectual do? What would Plato do?

Otto Apologize.

[mumbles]

Wanda Pardon me?

Otto Apologize.

[mumbles]

Wanda What?

Otto Apologize! I'm sorry.

Wanda No. Not to me. To Archie. And make it good, or we're dead.

Life as a House

The Nature of Change in Life

George Monroe You know the great thing, though, is that change can be so constant you don't even feel the difference until there is one. It can be so slow that you don't even notice that your life is better or worse, until it is. Or it can just blow you away, make you something different in an instant. It happened to me.

The Emperor's Club

Life's Worth Beyond Success and Failure

William Hundert The worth of a life is not determined by a single failure or a solitary success.

A Fish Called Wanda

Trust and Connection with Animals

Otto You really like animals, don't you, Ken? What's the attraction?

Ken B-b-b-because you c-c-an trust them, and they don't sh-sh-sh-

Otto Shit on you?

Ken ... Shove off all the t-t-t-time.

The Ice Storm

Frustration with Golf and Competition

Ben Hood We were golfing. You know, golfing, to me, is something I'm supposed to enjoy. And I was on the goddamn golf team in college, so it's something one would assume I'd do well. I used to do well. But basically, these days, golfing for me is like hoeing... or plowing. It's like farming. And George Clair has obviously, in the mere two years since he's been with the firm, he's obviously been taking secret lessons with a golf pro. And I bet the entirety of his disposable income has been dedicated to humiliating me on the golf course. That guy talks nonstop throughout the entirety of the misery of the miserable 18 holes...

Janey Carver Ben.

Ben Hood On topics that are the supposed domain of my department.

Janey Carver Ben.

Ben Hood Yeah?

Janey Carver You're boring me. I have a husband. I don't particularly feel the need for another.

Ben Hood You have a point there. That's a very good point. We're having an affair. Right. An explicitly sexual relationship. Your needs, my needs. You're absolutely right.

Janey Carver You better get dressed. The boys will be home soon.

Ben Hood Gotcha.

The Ice Storm

Suspicion and Observation in Relationships

Ben Hood Thanks. You having one?

[Janey hands drink to Ben]

Janey Carver In a bit.

Ben Hood You know, I think Elena might suspect something. Maybe, it's all for the better, you know? Yesterday at dinner, she - Well, she didn't say anything. Has she acted funny to you? Have you noticed anything?

[he leans his head onto Janey; he starts unbuttoning his shirt; he takes his shirt off]

Janey Carver Have I noticed anything?

Ben Hood Mmm.

Janey Carver I'm not married to her, Benjamin. You are. I think you've probably a better vantage point from which to observe her.

Ben Hood Yeah, but... I've been working a lot lately and - No, that's not it. I... I guess maybe we're just on the verge of... saying something. Saying something to each other. On the verge.

Life as a House

Confronting Anger and Regret in Family Dynamics

George Monroe I put a gun to my father's head once. Ever think like that? He was passed out. Had just been yelling at my mom over nothing. Under-cooked meat. I went to my room, I held the barrel right up to his ear, and then I chickened out again. Of course it was a BB gun but still it would have hurt like hell.

The Pirates of Penzance

Revenge and Courage in Conflict

The Pirate King With base deceit, you played upon our feelings; / Revenge is sweet, and flavors all our dealings. / With courage rare, and resolution manly, / For death prepare, unhappy General Stanley!

The Emperor's Club

A Meeting Between Teacher and Student

William Hundert Enter.

William Hundert Mr. Bell.

Sedgewick Bell Mr. Hundert.

William Hundert Do you know why I called you in here?

Sedgewick Bell Student of the Month?

William Hundert Hardly.

William Hundert I awarded you one point because you spelled your name correctly. Mr. Bell, I do not know what you think you are doing but this is unacceptable work. You must apply yourself...

William Hundert Yes, I am unmarried. Now what does that have to do with anything you are talking about?

Sedgewick Bell That is why you like making us wear dresses.

William Hundert I have made arrangements to meet with your father. Is there anything you would like me to tell him for you?

A Midsummer Night's Dream

The Enigma of Dream Interpretation

Nick Bottom I have had a most rare vision.I have had a dream.Past the wit of man to say what dream it was.Man is but an ass if he go about to expound this dream.Methought I was...There's no man can tell what.Methought I was...Methought I had...Man is but a patched fool is he will offer to say what I had.

The Emperor's Club

Confronting Self: A Lesson in Virtue

William Hundert I'm a teacher, Sedgewick. And I failed you - as a teacher. But I will give you one last lecture, if I may. All of us, at some point, are forced to look at ourselves in the mirror, and see who we really are. And when that day comes for you, Sedgewick, you will be confronted with a life lived without virtue, without principle. And for that I pity you. End of lesson.

The Emperor's Club

A Gift of a Rare Book

James Ellerby William!

William Hundert Ellerby! How are things in the Latin Quarter?

James Ellerby Could not be better. I wanted to give you this for recommending me for the job. Now I know you probably already have one but this is a rare first edition. I found it in a marketplace in England.

[Hands Mr. Hundert a book]

Book Ancient Rome by Douglas Hundert

William Hundert So young when he wrote this...Well, thank you for your consideration.

The Emperor's Club

The Importance of Contribution in Ambition

William Hundert Great ambition and conquest without contribution is without significance. What will your contribution be? How will history remember you?

A Fish Called Wanda

Critique of English Superiority

Otto You English! You think you're so superior, don't you? Well you're the filth of the planet! A bunch of pompous, badly dressed, poverty stricken, sexually repressed football hooligans!

The Ice Storm

The Joy of Holiday Family Dynamics

Ben Hood Well, that's the whole point of the holidays, Paul. So you and your sister can mope around the house, and your mother and I can wait on your hand and foot, while the two of you occasionally grunt for more food from behind the hair in your faces. Believe it or not, we actually enjoy it.

Life as a House

Building Identity Through Personal Space

George Monroe I always thought of myself as a house. I was always what I lived in. It didn't need to be big. It didn't even need to be beautiful. It just needed to be mine. I became what I was meant to be. I built myself a life. I built myself a house.

A Fish Called Wanda

Philosophical Questions Amidst Humorous Antics

Ken What's h-happening?

Otto Well, Ken. I'm going to ask you a series of questions while I eat my chips. First, who was the philosopher who developed the concept of the Superman in Thus Spake Zarathustra?

Ken (dumbstruck)

Otto No? That's a chip up the nose, I'm afraid. (sticks his chips up Ken's right nostril) Friedrich Nietzsche! Next. In which book did Nietzsche claim that all almost all higher culture is based on cruelty?

Ken (opens mouth)

Otto Are you thinking or in mid-stutter?

Ken You're m-m-mad.

Otto (sticks a chip up Ken's other nostril) Beyond Good and Evil! Guess I'll have to ask you an easy one, eh, Ken? OK. Um... Let me think, let me think. Um... Where are the diamonds? I'll give you a clue. Somewhere around the airport.

Ken I'm n-n-n...

Otto No hassle. There's plenty of time. I'll just sit here and eat my chips till you tell me. The English contribution to world cuisine: the chip. What do the English usually eat with chips to make them more interesting? Wait a moment! It's fish. Isn't it? Oh! Here, boy. Down the hatch. Delicious!

[Dipping into the fish tank with a net; Eats the fish]

Ken You b-b-b...

Otto Better eat the green one? OK. What's this one's name? Well, not Wanda, anyway. I'm going to call her Lunch. Hello, Lunch. Hello! Ew! Avoid the green ones - not ripe yet.

[Eats the fish]

Kevin Kline Quotes

Memorable Quotes from Kevin Kline

find it. watch it.