Kirk Douglas Quotes

Whit Sterling Look I crossed you once. I know better than to try a second time.

Spartacus We've traveled a long ways together. We've fought many battles and won many victories. Now, instead of taking ships to our homes across the sea, we must fight again once more. Maybe there's no peace in this world, for us or for anyone else, I don't know. But I do know that as long as we live, we must remain true to ourselves.

Spartacus Stand up. On your feet. Stand up, the way a noble Roman should.

Slave That's Roman pride for you, Spartacus!

Spartacus That's better. What's your name?

Glabrus Marcus, Glabrus.

Spartacus Glabrus.

Glabrus Commander of the Garrison of Rome!

Spartacus Commander?

Crixus He was commanding it on his belly when we found him, playing dead!

Spartacus You disappoint me, Marcus Glabrus, playing dead. You afraid to die? It's easy to die. Haven't you seen enough gladiators in the arena to see how easy it is to die?

Glabrus Why...what are you going to do to me?

Spartacus I don't know. What should we do with him?

Dionysus Let's have a matched pair, him and me!

Glabrus I'll not fight like a gladiator!

Spartacus You keep staring at this. You recognize this baton?

Glabrus Yes.

Spartacus You should! It was in your tent. The symbol of the Senate! All the power of Rome!

Dionysus That's the power of Rome!

Spartacus Take that back to your senate. Tell them you and that broken stick is all that's left of the garrison of Rome! Tell them we want nothing from Rome, nothing, except our freedom!

Whit Sterling You'll never be happy until you square yourself.

Herbie Cook The old man sure looked bad. Did you see his face?

Charles Tatum Yeah.

Herbie Cook Like the faces of those folks you see outside a coal mine with maybe 84 men trapped inside.

Charles Tatum One man's better than 84. Didn't they teach you that?

Herbie Cook Teach me what?

Charles Tatum Human interest. You pick up the paper, you read about 84 men or 284, or a million men, like in a Chinese famine. You read it, but it doesn't stay with you. One man's different, you want to know all about him. That's human interest.

Spartacus I'd rather be here, a free man among brothers, facing a long march and a hard fight, than the richest citizen in Rome: fat with food he didn't work for, and surrounded by slaves.

Charles Tatum You know what's wrong with New Mexico, Mr. Wendel? Too much outdoors.

Spartacus When a free man dies, he loses the pleasure of life. A slave loses his pain. Death is the only freedom a slave knows. That's why he's not afraid of it. That's why we'll win.

Charles Tatum Bad news sells best. Cause good news is no news.

Charles Tatum I can handle big news and little news. And if there's no news, I'll go out and bite a dog.

Sheriff You're that Tatum guy that was popping off over the phone last night!

Charles Tatum I wasn't popping off, Sheriff; I was threatening. "Play along with me and you'll get re-elected. Don't, and I'll crucify you," that's what I said, remember?

Sheriff I think I'll have my boys take you down to the county line and throw you out!

Charles Tatum Throw out your campaign manager? You need plenty of help.

Sheriff And maybe before I throw you out, I'll toss you into the Klink for awhile!

Captain Nemo We are taking the Nautilus down for the last time.

Man We understand sir, and we're with you.

Ned Land Wait a minute. I don't understand. What's that gotta do with us?

Captain Nemo I'm dying, and the Nautilus is dying with me. Professor?

Professor Aronnax Yes.

Captain Nemo In a matter of minutes, an explosion, such as the world has never known, will destroy my island and all its works forever. That is why I have brought the Nautilus... here, to its last, deep resting place. Here at least, we will die in peace. Let every man go to his quarters and remain there.

Ned Land Why do you take us down with you?

Captain Nemo Lock them in their quarters.

Man Aye, sir. Take them out.

Conseil I don't want to die! Don't let him do it! I want no part of this!

Professor Aronnax Captain, you cannot do this. There is more at stake here than just our lives. Yours was a dream of the future come true. I beg you to reconsider.

Captain Nemo A power greater than mine makes that impossible. But there is hope for the future. When the world is ready for a new and better life, all this will someday come to pass... in God's good time.

Whit Sterling My feelings? About ten years ago, I hid them somewhere and haven't been able to find them.

Ned Land Got a whale of a tale to tell ya, lads, a whale of a tale or two, bout the floppin fish and the girls I've loved on nights like this with the moon above. A whale of a tale and it's all true, I swear by my tattoo. There was Mermaid Minnie; met her down in Madagascar. She would kiss me anytime that I would ask her. Then one evening, her flame of love blew out. Blow me down and pick me up, she swapped me for a trout!

George Phipps Come here. Sit down for a minute.

George Phipps Look, Ri, let's put aside my nausea at the idea of working for the Manleighs. Let's put aside my personal likes and dislikes; they're not important. I'm willing to admit that to a majority of my fellow citizens I'm a slightly comic figure: an educated man.

Rita Phipps Nobody's asking you not to be. Think of the good you could do; maybe raise the standards?

George Phipps Of commercial radio? What's the phrase, "Wait for your laugh?

George Phipps I'm a schoolteacher. That's even worse than being an intellectual. Schoolteachers are not only comic they're often cold and hungry in this richest land on earth.

Rita Phipps And thousands are quitting every year to take jobs that pay them a decent living.

George Phipps That is unhappily true.

Rita Phipps Then why not you?

George Phipps Because I can't think of myself doing anything else!

George Phipps What would happen, do you think, if we all quit? Who'd teach the kids? Who'd open their minds and hearts to the real glories of the human spirit, past and present? Who'd help them along to the future? Radio sponsors? Comic strips? At that I've been luckier than most. Even without what you earn I've managed to keep our heads above water.

Rita Phipps It's quite a strain over a period of time with the water lapping at your chin.

George Phipps And that's where you've been a great help. You made it a lot easier for both of us. I'll admit it has upset my male ego from time to time.

Rita Phipps And your overdeveloped sense of taste and discrimination which is apparently equaled only by that of Addie Ross!

George Phipps Let's try to keep Addie out of this one.

Rita Phipps I am fed up with taste and discrimination!

George Phipps You're not making sense!

Rita Phipps I'm fed up with your nobility and wisdom and superiority and your contempt for me and everything I try to do!

George Phipps You're talking nonsense.

Rita Phipps Everything I say is nonsense!

Charles Tatum I don't belong in your office. Not with that embroidered sign on the wall; it gets in my way.

Jacob Q. Boot Then it does bother you a little.

Charles Tatum Not enough to stop me. I'm on my way back to the top, and if it takes a deal with a crooked sheriff, that's alright with me! And if I have to fancy it up with an Indian curse and a broken hearted wife for Leo, then that's alright too!

Deputy Sheriff Hey you! Sheriff wants to see you, down at the trading post. Don't waste any of his time cause he ain't staying around long. Maybe you ain't either.

Charles Tatum You don't say?

Deputy Sheriff You wanna know something? He don't like you.

Charles Tatum And I was going to propose to him.

Charles Tatum How'd you like to make a thousand dollars a day, Mr. Boot? I'm a thousand-dollar-a-day newspaperman. You can have me for nothing.

George Phipps The purpose of radio writing, as far as I can see, is to prove to the masses that a deodorant can bring happiness... a mouth wash guarantee success and a laxative attract romance.

Mrs. Finney Good night, Mother dear, and don't wait up." If a daughter of mine ever really talked like that I'd cut her tongue out!

Addie Ross She won't stay mad at him for long. She's too much in love. Pretty soon she'll be full of self-reproach. Ha ha! Women are so silly.

Spartacus ] always wanted to march on Rome. Now he doesn't have to. Rome has come to us.

Charles Tatum When the history of this sunbaked Siberia is written, these shameful words will live in infamy: No chopped chicken liver. No garlic pickles. No Lindy's. No Madison Square Garden. No Yogi Berra. What do you know about Yogi Berra, Miss Deverich?

Miss Deverich Yogi? Why, it's a sort of religion, isn't it?

Charles Tatum You bet it is - a belief in the New York Yankees. You know what's wrong with New Mexico, Mr. Wendell? Too much outdoors. Give me those eight spindly trees in front of Rockefeller Center any day. That's enough outdoors for me. No subways smelling sweet-sour. What do you use for noise around here? No beautiful roar from eight million ants - fighting, cursing, loving. No shows. No South Pacific. No chic little dames across a crowded bar. And worst of all, Herbie. No 80th floor to jump from when you feel like it....When I came here, I thought this was gonna be a 30-day stretch, maybe 60. Now it's a year. It looks like a life sentence. Where is it? Where's the loaf of bread with a file in it? Where's that big story to get me outta here? One year, and what's our hot news? A soapbox derby. A tornado - that double-crossed us and went to Texas. An old goof who said he was the real Jesse James - until they found out he was a chicken thief from Gallup by the name of, uh, Schimmelmacher. I'm stuck here, fans. Stuck for good. Unless of course, you Miss Deverich, instead of writing household hints about how to remove chili stains from blue jeans, get yourself involved in a trunk murder. How about it, Miss Deverich? I could do wonders with your dismembered body.

Miss Deverich Oh, Mr. Tatum. Really.

Charles Tatum Or you, Mr. Wendell. If you'd only toss that cigar out of the window - real far, all the way to Los Alamos - And boom!! Now there would be a story.

Whit Sterling You dirty little phony. Go on lie some more. Tell me how you handled things for me in San Francisco. Tell me it was all Joe's idea. Go on, Kathie, show me how you're gonna squirm your way out this time. What a sucker you must think I am. I took you back when you came whimpering and crawling. I should have kicked your teeth in. No, I'm not going to. Not now Kathie. We're gonna let the law push you around...You're going to take the rap and play along. You're gonna make every exact move I tell ya. If you don't, I'll kill ya. And I'll promise you one thing. It won't be quick. I'll break you first. You won't be able to answer a telephone or open a door without thinking: This is it. And when it comes, it still won't be quick. And it won't be pretty. You can take your choice.

Jacob Q. Boot Do you drink a lot?

Charles Tatum Not a lot - just frequently.

Midge Kelly For the first time in my life, people cheering for me. Were you deaf? Didn't you hear em? We're not hitchhiking any more. We're riding!

Charles Tatum When they bleached your hair, they must have bleached your brain too.

Walter O'Neil I wasn't going to shoot.

Sam Masterson I wasn't gonna wait and see.

Spartacus I am Spartacus!

Charles Tatum Mr. Boot, I was passing through Albuquerque; had breakfast here. I read your paper and thought you might be interested in my reaction.

Jacob Q. Boot Indeed I am.

Charles Tatum Well, to be honest, it made me throw up. I don't mean to tell you I was expecting the New York Times, but even for Albuquerque, this is pretty Albuquerque.

Jacob Q. Boot Alright, here's your nickel back.

Ned Land Sorry I had to wallop you, Professor. But there wasn't time to stop for souvenirs.

Professor Aronnax Perhaps you did mankind a service, Ned.

Conseil What?

Ned Land Get drunk!

Rita Phipps People in the show business, you know what I mean, those kind of people always drink scotch.

George Phipps Well, I know what you mean, but I wish you wouldn't say it in radio English. "That kind", not "those kind".

Rita Phipps There are men who say "those kind" who earn $100,000 dollars a year.

George Phipps There are men who say "stick em up" who earn more. I don't expect to do either.

Ned Land Cheer up, Professor. You'll forget all about fishing when you see the gals in Saigon.

Professor Aronnax I thought they promised you a bonus if you harpooned this monster, Mr. Land.

Ned Land Knowing full well I couldn't collect it. When I get back, I'm shipping out on the first whaler that'll take me. I won't get rich, but I won't be sitting around picking my teeth with my harpoon.

Conseil Maybe we are lucky. It might have sunk us.

Ned Land You scare me. Be a good loser, Professor. The fish that got away is always the biggest one.

Conseil Ah, what a pity, Professor. I know you had visions of that monster mounted in the National Museum.

Charles Tatum Where's my desk?

Jacob Q. Boot The one by the door. You may be out of here by Saturday.

Charles Tatum Sooner the better.

Charles Tatum I've done a lot of lying in my time. I've lied to men who wear belts. I've lied to men who wear suspenders. But I'd never be so stupid as to lie to a man who wears both belt and suspenders.

Charles Tatum It's a good story today. Tomorrow, it'll be yesterday's news and they'll wrap a fish in it.

Captain Nemo There's a fork on your left, Mr. Land, or aren't you accustomed to utensils?

Ned Land I'm indifferent to em.

Herbie Cook I don't like the looks of it, Chuck.

Charles Tatum Neither do I, fan, but I like the odds.

Reporter We're all in the same boat here.

Charles Tatum I'm in the boat. You're in the water. Now let's see how you can swim.

Spartacus He'll come back. He'll come back, and he'll be millions!

Connie Kelly Oh, this rotten business!

Midge Kelly Awww, lay off the business. It's like any other business, only here the blood shows.

Spartacus What is your name?

Draba You don't want to know mine. I don't want to know your name.

Spartacus Just a friendly question.

Draba Gladiators don't make friends. If we're ever matched in the arena together, I have to kill you.

Dionysus Ah-ha ha! Come on, fat boy! Yeah!

Slaves Spartacus! Hey, Spartacus!

Spartacus Noble Romans, fight each other like animals. Your new masters, betting to see who'll die first. Drop your weapons.

Slaves No! No! No! No!

Crixus I want to see their blood, right here where Draba died! When I fight matched pairs, they fight to the death!

Spartacus I made myself a promise, Crixus. I swore that if I ever get out of this place, I'd die before I saw two men fight to the death again. Draba made that promise too. He kept it, so will I. Go on. Get up! What are we, Crixus? What are we becoming, Romans? What's happening to us? Have we learned nothing? We hunt wine when we should be looking for bread.

Dionysus When you got wine, you don't need bread!

Spartacus You can't just be a gang of drunken raiders.

Dionysus What else can we be?

Spartacus Gladiators, an army of gladiators. There's never been an army like that. One gladiator is worth any two Roman soldiers that ever lived.

Crixus We beat the Romans guards here, but a Roman army is different. They fight different than we do, too.

Spartacus We can beat anything they send against us if we really want to.

Crixus It takes a big army.

Spartacus We'll have a big army. Once we're on the march, we'll free every slave in every town and village. Can anybody get a bigger army than that?

Dionysus That's right. Once we cross the Alps, we're safe.

Crixus Nobody can cross the Alps. Every pass is defended by its own legion.

Whit Sterling When you see her, you'll understand better.

Ned Land There's one thing you ought to know, Professor: Nemo's cracked. I've yet to see the day you can make a deal with a mad dog. So while you're feeding him sugar, I'll be figuring a plan to muzzle him.