Memorable Quotes from Kristen Wiig
8 quotesUnexpected Street Behavior Observed
Annie Walker
You're really doing it, aren't ya? You're shitting in the street!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Mystery of Project Elrond Explained
Annie Montrose
What the hell is "Project Elrond?
Vincent Kapoor
I had to make something up.
Annie Montrose
But "Elrond?
Mitch Henderson
Because it's a secret meeting.
Annie Montrose
How do you know that; why does Elrond mean secret meeting?
Bruce Ng
The Council of Elrond. It's the... it's... it's... from ]. It's the meeting where they decide to destroy the One Ring.
[[The Lord of the Rings]
Teddy Sanders
If we are going to call something Project Elrond, I would like my code name to be Glorfindel.
Annie Montrose
Okay, I hate every one of you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Endless Giving and Unmet Expectations
woman
You give, and you give, and you give. It's just never enough.
herald
The inspiration! Where have you been hiding? Finish her.
[to mother; to revolutionaries]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Weighing Decisions in Life and Death
Annie Montrose
But if something goes wrong?
Vincent Kapoor
Then we lose the crew.
Bruce Ng
So what, we either have a high chance of killing one person, or a low chance of killing six people. How do we make that decision?
Vincent Kapoor
We don't. He does.
[pointing to Teddy]
Mitch Henderson
Yeah, bullshit. It should be Commander Lewis call.
Teddy Sanders
We still have a chance to bring five astronauts home safe and sound. I'm not risking their lives.
Mitch Henderson
Let them make that decision.
Teddy Sanders
Mitch, we are going with option one.
Mitch Henderson
You goddamn coward.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Belief and Doubt in Ambition
Dewey Cox
Maybe you don't believe in me at all.
Edith
I do believe in you... I just know you're gonna fail.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Morning Conversations Over Coffee and Milk
Edith
...completely out of milk, I had to go all the way down to Peach Street.
Dewey
Oh brother, can you believe it? Yes Bert?
Bert
Hey Dewey, do you want a cup of coffee or something?
Dewey
No thank you. Will you give me a minute? I am on the phone with my wife.
Edith
Who’s that?
Dewey
Oh that’s Bert, my roadie. Just wants to know if I want any coffee or anything like that.
Edith
Dewey, there’s a distance growing between us, I feel. I don’t like it.
Dewey
Now that is crazy talk Edith. You know I’m the same old Dewey.
Bert
Hey Dewey.
Dewey
Yes Bert?
Bert
You seen my sandals?
Dewey
I don’t know! I’m talking to my wife Bert.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Awkward Conversations About Intimacy and Appeal
John Solomon
I literally cannot wait to feel myself inside you!
Janine
Whoa! The only thing you're going to feel yourself inside of is a cold Dixie cup!
Dean Solomon
Well, that certainly doesn't make your vagina sound very appealing.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
NASA's Dilemma: Astronaut Left Behind on Mars
Annie Montrose
I mean, what are we gonna say, "Dear America, remember that astronaut we killed and had a really nice funeral for? Turns out he's alive and we left him on Mars. Our bad. Sincerely, NASA". I mean, do you realize the shit storm that is about to hit us?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.