L

Lance Guest Quotes

Actor

Memorable Quotes from Lance Guest

23 quotes
Unexpected Conversations About Relationships
Alex Rogan Maggie! You're never going to believe this!
[calling out]
Maggie Gordon I told you, Alex! Me and my- how did you put it- "strange sexual urges" aren't talking to you anymore!
[slaps him, angrily]
A Farewell Between Friends
Beta Good luck, Alex.
Alex Rogan You too... Alex.
Surprise Strategy in a Desperate Situation
Alex Rogan Hold it! There's no fleet, no Starfighters, no plan? One ship, you, me and that's it?
Grig Exactly! Xur thinks you're still on Earth. Classic military strategy: surprise attack.
Alex Rogan It'll be a slaughter!
Grig That's the spirit!
Alex Rogan No, MY slaughter! One ship against the whole armada?
Grig Yes, one Gunstar against the armada. I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against incredible odds.
Misunderstandings Among Friends and Aliens
Alex Rogan What did you do to Maggie?!
Beta Do to her?! We were looking up at the stars and she sticks her tongue in my ear. I screamed. I'll apologize to her tomorrow, okay?
Alex Rogan You're not gonna be here. You're going back to Centauri right now!
Louis Rogan What's up, Alex?
[trying to sleep, angry]
Alex Rogan Back to sleep, Louis, or I'm telling Mom about your Playboys!
Beta You're blowing it, Alex.
[as Alex is walking out]
Louis Rogan What the?!
[looks down from the bed, shocked]
Beta I said back to sleep, Louis, or I'm telling Mom about your Playboys!
[imitating Alex]
Delightful Welcome Among Friends
Rylan Bursar Rrrr... E sanchay!
[disgustedly]
Centauri E sanchay! Onee mat swella! Preeta! Preeta!
Alex Rogan Centauri, what's going on?
Centauri He's just saying how delighted he is that you are here, and if there's anything that he can do to make your stay more enjoyable, just give him a ring.
Alex Rogan My stay! What are you talking about? Where are we?
Centauri Welcome to Rylos, my boy!
Alex Rogan Rylos! Wait a minute... you mean, you mean... like in the game?
Centauri Oh, he's quick! He's quick! He's very quick! He's speechless! So long, Alex! Have fun! May the luck of the Seven Pillars of Gulu be with you at all times. Oh, someday these cheapskates will thank Centauri, trust me. BOOLA!
[muttering; out loud]
Fate and Surprises in Unexpected Encounters
Centauri The amusing thing about this is, it's all a big mistake. That particular Starfighter game was supposed to be delivered to Vegas, not some flea-speck trailer park in the middle of tumbleweeds and tarantulas. So it must be fate, destiny, blind chance, luck even, that brings us together. And as the poet said, "the rest is history.
Alex Rogan Where are you going? Where are you taking me?
Centauri I told you, I want to save it for a surprise. Hey, are you kind of kid who reads the last page of a mystery first? Who pesters the magician to tell you his tricks? Who sneaks downstairs to peek at his Christmas presents? No, of course you're not. That's why I'm not gonna tell you!
[singsong voice]
Alex Rogan Oh, God.
Centauri Besides, I just love surprises, don't you?
Confusion Over Starfighter Hangar Status
Alex Rogan Wait a minute... when did the hangar go up?
[as they prepare to launch]
Grig I told you, when Xur attacked!
Alex Rogan And where were the Starfighters?
Grig In the hangar!
Alex Rogan You mean they're dead?
Grig Death is a primitive concept; I prefer to think of them as battling evil, in another dimension!
[scoffs]
Alex Rogan In another dimension?! How many are left?
Grig Including yourself?
Alex Rogan Yeah!
Grig One!
Alex Rogan ONE?!
Cultural Differences in Home Environments
Alex Rogan This reminds you of home????
[they are inside an asteroid, hiding from the armada]
Grig Aaah, yes, I live below ground with my wifeoid and six thousand little Griglings. At least, until Xur turns them into slaves. Where does your kind live?
Alex Rogan In houses, mostly, that's caves above ground. I live in a mobile home.
Grig What is that?
Alex Rogan It is like a cave that goes places. Only we never went anywhere.
Grig A mobile cave that never went anywhere. Fascinating.
Seeking Logical Explanations in Chaos
Alex Rogan There's gotta be a perfectly logical explanation for all this.
Facing Danger with an Unlikely Companion
Alex Rogan Terrific. I'm about to get killed a million miles from nowhere with a gung-ho iguana who tells me to relax.
Fear as a Cause of Death
Michael Brody Dad died of a heart attack!
Ellen Brody No. He died from fear. The fear of it killed him.
Facing Fears and Affirming Love
Alex Rogan The truth is you're scared of leaving this trailer park.
Maggie Gordon I'm not scared of leaving this trailer park, Alex.
Alex Rogan Hey, listen. Whatever happens, it's you and me forever, right? Right?
Maggie Gordon I love you so much, Alex.
Alex Rogan I'll always love you, Maggs.
Louis Diarrhea!
[derisively]
Understanding Responsibility Through Simple Explanation
Michael Brody How come it's my responsibility?
Carla Brody Because.
Michael Brody Oh. OK, now I understand; all you had to do was explain it. I take out the garbage... because.
Facing Destiny and Embracing Change
Centauri Alex, Alex! You're walking away from history! History! Did Chris Columbus say he wanted to stay home? No! What if the Wright Brothers thought that only birds should fly? And did Galoka think that the Yulus were too ugly to save?
Alex Rogan Who's Galoka?
[confused]
Centauri Never mind.
[realizing his mistake]
Alex Rogan Listen, Centauri. I'm not any of those guys, I'm a kid from a trailer park.
Centauri If that's what you think, then that's all you'll ever be!
Seizing Opportunities in Life's Changes
Alex Rogan Otis, I just never had a chance to have a good time around here.
Otis Things change. Always do. You'll get your chance! Important thing is, when it comes, you gotta grab it with both hands and hold on tight!
Unexpected Encounter at the Arcade
Centauri Hello. Excuse me, son.
Alex Rogan Store's closed, mister.
Centauri I'm not here for cigarettes or bubble gum, my boy. Can you tell me the name of the person who broke the record on that game over there, and where I might find him?
Alex Rogan Alex Rogan, and you're lookin at him.
Centauri Alex Rogan.
[laughs]
Alex Rogan Who are you?
Centauri Centauri's the name. I invented Starfighter, which is why I'm here.
Alex Rogan It is?
Centuari It is. We have to talk about a matter of utmost importance Step into my office.
[gestures toward the back seat of his car]
Unusual Childhood Dreams and Desires
Michael Brody I've always wanted to make love to an angry welder. I've dreamed of nothing else since I was a small boy.
[to torch-wielding welder wife Carla]
Hope for a Remaining Starfighter
Alex Rogan Maybe there is a Starfighter left.
[to Grig]
Conflict Over Money and Talent in Gaming
Rylan Bursar Return the money, Centauri.
Centauri Return the money?! Are you delirious?! Do you know how long it took to invent the games? To merchandise them? To get them in the stores by Christmas?
Grig It must be terribly embarrassing for you and I do sympathize, however--
Centauri But I saw him fight! He could be the greatest Starfighter ever!
Alex Rogan That was just a game, Centauri!
Centauri A game! Well, you may have thought it was a game - but it was also a test! Aha, a test! Sent out across the universe to find those with the gift to be Starfighters. And here you are, my boy! Here you are!
Alex Rogan Right, here I am, about to be killed!
Centauri Killed! You don't seriously think it's dangerous, do you? Don't be silly! Trust me!
Fear of the Water's Unknown
Michael Brody I'm scared shitless. What the hell am I supposed to do if I can't go back out in the water?
A Lesson in Knowledge and Style
Jake That's fair, man. That's fair.
Michael Brody I don't know shit about electronics.
Jake Boy, you don't know shit about anything. It's time you learn! I'll teach you how to wear your hair!
An Unintentional Mishap Acknowledged
Alex Rogan I'm sorry, it was an accident. I didn't mean to step on your, uh, whatever that is.
[to an alien]
Exploring Identity Through Simuloids in Dialogue
Alex Rogan Hey, you look like me!
[shocked]
Beta Of course I do. I'm a beta unit.
Alex Rogan What the hell is a beta unit?!
Beta A beta unit is a simuloid. An exact duplicate of you, only not as loud.
Alex Rogan Huh????
Beta I was in the Starcar, remember? We shook hands. I became you, unfortunately.
Alex Rogan Let me get this straight, you're a robot?
Beta I beg your pardon. I'm a state-of-the-art, top-of-the-line beta unit, put here as a courtesy replacement for while you are away. Lucky me. Wait a minute... what are you doing back?!
Alex Rogan Are you kidding? It's war up there!
Beta Oh, save the whales, but not the universe, huh?
Alex Why don't you go up there and fight?