L

Leonard Ceeley Quotes

Actor

Memorable Quotes from Leonard Ceeley

4 quotes
A Day at the Races
A Conversation Amidst a Windy Day
Hackenbush Record department. Col. Hawkins talkin'.
Whitmore Col. Hawkins, did you get a wire for me regarding Dr. Hackenbush?
Hackenbush I'm sorry sir. There's a hurricane blowin down here, and you have to talk a little louder. Woo! It's certainly the windiest day we ever had! WOO! Certainly is windy!
[turns on a fan and blows a paper against it]
Whitmore I want to find out about Dr. HACKENBUSH! Yes?
[Hackenbush calls him on the intercom, pulling him away from the phone]
Hackenbush Whitmore you'll have to cut out that squawking! The patients are all complaining! ... I hope, sir, that's the information that you require.
[on the phone, posing as Colonel Hawkins]
Whitmore I'm sorry, Colonel. I didn't hear it. I was called to the dictagraph.
Hackenbush What was that you said sir?
Whitmore I was called to the dictagraph!
[loudly]
Hackenbush : Whitmore, one more yelp outta you and I'll have you bounced out of here! ...And I trust, sir, that that answers your question.
[on the phone]
Whitmore I'm sorry, Colonel, I didn't hear you!
Hackenbush I can't hear you, you will have to talk a little louder.
Whitmore I want to find out something about Hackenbush! Well, what is it now?!
[Hackenbush calls him on the intercom again]
Hackenbush Whitmore, that's the last time I'm gonna warn you about that yowling! And in conclusion, let me say…
[on the phone]
Whitmore I'm sorry Colonel. What was that you said about Hackenbush?
Hackenbush Hack- you mean, Dr. Hackenbush? Oh, no, he's not here.
Whitmore I know he's not there. He's here!
[with mounting impatience]
Hackenbush Then what are you botherin me for, Yankee?
Whitmore But I want to know something about his Florida record-
Hackenbush Here's your Florida call, Mr. Whitmore-
[in a female telephone operator's voice]
Whitmmore Operator, will you get off the line?! Hello, hello, Colonel?
Hackenbush Yes?
Whitmore Are you sure you're speaking about Dr. Hugo Z. Hackenbush?
Hackenbush Who?
Whitmore Hugo Z. Hackenbush!
Hackenbush Who's calling him?
Whitmore ...The Standish Sanitarium.
[barely controlling his temper]
Hackenbush Yeah! That's where he works! Say, I understand he's doing a mighty fine job up there.
Whitmore I... I want to get some information regarding his qualifications for the job.
Hackenbush What job?
Whitmore As head of the sanitarium!
Hackenbush Who?
Whitmore Hackenbush!
Hackenbush Whitmore, are you calling me?
[on the intercom]
Whitmore NO, YOU SAP! ... Hello.
[picks up the phone]
Hackenbush Yes, now, uh, now what was that name?
Whitmore Hackenbush. HACK-EN-BUSH!
Hackenbush Uh-huh. Well, as soon as he comes in, I'll have him get in touch with you.
Whitmore No!
[slamming down the phone]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Day at the Races
Questions Among Doctors at the Races
Whitmore May I present to you, Dr. Leoplod X. Steinberg of ]. And this is Dr. Hackenbush.
[[Vienna]
Steinberg Ah, doctor. I have a few questions I would like to ask you.
Hackenbush I would have a few questions I would like to ask you. Steinberg, what do you do with your old razorblades?
Steinberg HUH!!?
Whitmore I've been telling Dr. Steinberg about your unusual case.
Steinberg Yes, and I would like to hear more about this ailment, "double blood pressure?
[looks scornfully at Hackenbush.]
Mrs. Upjohn Dr. Hackenbush tells me I'm the only case in history. I have high blood pressure on my right side and low blood pressure on my left side.
Steinberg Hah! There is no such thing. She looks as healthy as any woman I ever met.
Hackenbush You don't look like as though you ever met a healthy woman.
Steinberg WHAT?!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Day at the Races
Medical Questions and Staff Decisions
Judy Standish I'm satisfied with Mrs. Upjohn's recommendations. If you'll excuse me, I'll go out and bring in the rest of the staff.
[leaves]
Hackenbush Why don't you go out and bring in something? Preferably, your resignation.
[to Whitmore]
Whitmore Tell me, Dr. Hackenbush... just what was your medical background?
[sharply]
Hackenbush Medically?
Whitmore Yes.
Hackenbush Oh, well, at the age of fifteen, I got a job in a drugstore filling prescriptions.
Whitmore Don't you have to be twenty-one to fill prescriptions?
Hackenbush Well, uh, that's for grown-ups. I just filled them for children.
Whitmore No, no, Doctor. I mean, where did you get your training as a physician?
Hackenbush Oh, well, uh, to begin with I took four years at Vassar.
Mrs. Upjohn Vassar? But that's a girls college.
Hackenbush I found that out the third year. I'd've been there yet, but I went out for the swimming team.
[smirks]
Whitmore The doctor seems reluctant to discuss his medical experiences.
Hackenbush Well, medically, my experiences have been most unexciting. Except during the flu epidemic-
Whitmore Ah, and what happened?
Hackenbush I got the flu.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Day at the Races
Horse Pill Misunderstanding in Medical Context
Whitmore Just a minute, Mrs Upjohn. That looks like a horse pill to me.
Hackenbush Oh, you've taken them before.
Mrs. Upjohn Are you sure, Doctor, you haven't made a mistake?
Hackenbush You have nothing to worry about. The last patient I gave one of those to won the Kentucky Derby.
Whitmore May I examine this, please? Do you actually give those to your patients? Isn't it awfully large for a pill?
Hackenbush Well, it was too small for a basketball, and I didn't know what to do with it. Say, you're awfully large for a pill yourself.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.