The Boys in the Band - A Game of Warnings and Rivalry
Harold:
And they're minding their own business.
Michael:
And you mind yours Harold! I'm warning you!
Harold:
Are you now? You warning me? Me? I'm Harold. I'm the one person you don't warn, Michael, because you and I are a match. And we tread very softly with each other, because we both play each other's game too well. I know this game, you're playing. I know it very well, and I play it very well. You play it very well too, but you know what? I'm the only one who's better at it than you are. I can beat you at it, so don't push me. I'm warning you.
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The Boys in the Band - Finding Humor in Life's Absurdity
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The Boys in the Band - Creative Hiding Places for Unconventional Items
Harold:
I keep my grass in the medicine cabinet in the Band Aid box. Somebody told me it's the safest place. If the cops arrive, you can always lock yourself in the bathroom and flush it down the john.
Hank:
Very cagey.
Harold: [in his mother's voice]
Makes more sense to where I was keeping it: in the oregano jar in the spice rack. I kept forgetting it and accidentally turning my hateful mother on with a salad. But I think she liked it. No matter what meal she comes over for, even if it was breakfast, she says "Let's have a salad!
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The Boys in the Band - Faith and Doubt in Modern Belief
Michael:
Forgive him, father, for he know not what he do.
Harold:
Michael, you don't know what side of the fence you're on. Say something pro-religion, you're against it. Deny god, you're against that. One might say you have some problem in that area. You can't live with it, and you can't live without it. You hang on to that great insurance policy called the Church.
Michael:
That's right, I believe in God. And if it turns out there isn't one, okay, nothing's lost. But if it turns out there really is, I'm covered. Right, I'm one of those truly rotten Catholics who gets drunk, sins all night, and then goes to mass the next morning.
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The Boys in the Band - Beauty and Its Unspoken Implications
Michael:
Oh Harold, he's beautiful.
Harold:
Yeah, beautiful. He has unnatural natural beauty. Not that that means anything.
Michael:
It doesn't mean everything.
Harold:
Keep telling yourself that as your hair drops out in handfuls.
Michael:
Faggots are worse than women about their age. They think their lives are over at 30. Physical beauty is not all that goddamn important.
Harold:
Of course not, how could it be? It's only in the eye of the beholder. And it's only skin deep.
Michael:
Only skin deep.
Harold:
Only skin deep. And it's transitory too. It's terribly transitory. Oh, yes. It's too bad about this poor boy's face. It's tragic. He's absolutely cursed. How could his beauty ever compare with my soul? And although I've never seen my soul, I understand from my mother's rabbi that it's a knockout. I, however, cannot seem to locate it for a gander. And if I could... I'd sell it in a flash... for some skin-deep, transitory, meaningless beauty.
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The Boys in the Band - Personal Struggles and Late Arrivals
Michael:
You're stoned and you're late. You were supposed to arrive at this location at eight thirty dash nine o'clock.
Harold:
What I am, Michael, is a 32 year-old, ugly, pock marked Jew fairy, and if it takes me a little while to pull myself together, and if I smoke a little grass before I get up the nerve to show my face to the world, it's nobody's god-damned business but my own. And how are you this evening?
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The Boys in the Band - Acceptance of Identity and Inescapable Truth
Harold:
You're a sad and pathetic man. You're a homosexual and you don't want to be, but there's nothing you can do to change it. Not all the prayers to your god, not all the analysis you can buy in all the years you've go left to live. You may one day be able to know a heterosexual life if you want it desperately enough. If you pursue it with the fervor with which you annihilate. But you'll always be homosexual as well. Always Michael. Always. Until the day you die.
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The Boys in the Band - The Danger of the Hostile Individual
Harold:
Beware the hostile fag. When he's sober, he's dangerous. When he drinks, he's lethal.
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The Boys in the Band - A Humorous Observation on Coldness
Harold:
Your lips are turning blue. You look like you've been rimming a snowman.
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The Boys in the Band - The Boys in the Band - Harold
Harold:
Who is she? Who was she? Who does she hope to be?
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Fiddler on the Roof - Changing Times and Aspirations in Conversation
Hodel: [to Tevye]
The world is changing, Papa.
Fyedka: [introducing himself to Chava]
I'm a pleasant fellow - charming, honest, ambitious, quite bright, and very modest.
Hodel:
We only have one Rabbi, and he only has one son. Why shouldn't I want the best?
Motel:
If the rich could hire others to die for them, we, the poor, would all make a nice living.
Motel:
Even a poor tailor is entitled to some happiness!
Motel:
You'll all chatter yourselves away into the grave.
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