Leslie Mann Quotes

17 Again

Divorce Tensions and Past Regrets Unfold

Mike O Donnell The divorce isn't final for another two weeks, so you have no right.

[finds out that Scarlett is re-doing their yard]

Scarlett O'Donnell Really? I spent the last 18 years of my life listening to you whine about what you could have done without me, and I have no right?

Mike O Donnell It's just that I put a lot of work in this yard.

Scarlett O'Donnell Did you? Really? Like the barbecue pit? Yeah, the way I remember that is that you spent about an hour working on it and then you spent the next two days complaining about how "If you had gone to college then you could have had hired someone else to do it".

Mike O Donnell I don't think it was a whole two days...

Scarlett O'Donnell What about the hammock over here?

Mike O Donnell Yeah...

Scarlett O'Donnell Yeah, I think you quit that one because you just decided not to try anymore.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

George of the Jungle

Unexpected Friendships in Unlikely Situations

Narrator Well, Ursula's fiancé is in prison, and there's a jungle man sleeping on her balcony. She could use a best friend right now.

Betsy Hi.

Ursula Stanhope Hi.

Betsy I got here as fast as I could. Where is he?

Ursula Stanhope Oh, he's in the waterf-- He's in the shower.

Betsy Not anymore.

Ursula Stanhope Oh! George.

[sees him naked]

George Bad waterfall. First, water get hot, then George slip on this strange yellow rock. Oh. Hi. George of Jungle.

[holds up a bar of soap]

Betsy Charmed, I'm sure.

Ursula Stanhope George, hold this big book. Cover the booty. Get into some decent clothes. Sorry, Betsy.

[he holds book covering his front part; puts bowl on his rear]

George Bye.

Betsy No problem. Now I can see why they made him king of the jungle.

[to herself]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Funny People

Free Pass Lists and Unexpected Revelations

Clarke So, you're going to kill ], eh? That girl is a menace to society, isn't she? Fuck her! What? She's on my free pass list. Who's on yours?

[[Cameron Diaz; laughs, then looks at Laura]

Laura George.

Clarke This George?

[points at George]

George Look out.

Laura Yeah.

Clarke Oh, well. Then I just want Cameron dead. Over her dead body.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

17 Again

Unexpected Family Revelations in Conversation

Alex O'Donnell Hey mom this is Mark, Uncle Ned's bastard.

[introducing Young Mike to his mother for the first time]

Scarlett O'Donnell Wow!

Alex O'Donnell I know! Someone had a kid with Uncle Ned!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Other Woman

The Dynamics of Relationships and Desire

Carly Whitten Between the two of us he has the perfect woman, what else would he need?

Kate King The one thing we're not giving him: sex.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Knocked Up

Disagreement on Parenting Responsibilities

Debbie We have to help them raise the baby.

Pete Well, no!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Knocked Up

Misunderstandings about Chicken Pox and Herpes

Debbie I gotta go. Sadie might have the chicken pox.

Jason I had the chicken pox three times. I have no immunity to it.

Ben We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes.

Jason It's not herpes if it's everywhere.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Other Woman

Brain Camp: A Humorous Misunderstanding

Kate King They should have that for your brain. Like a brain camp. Oh, really, you can go, and you lay on the beach and get tan and drink ginkgo balboa all day and then you come back and you're super smart.

Mark King It's ginkgo biloba. Balboa was Rocky.

Kate King Right. See? See? That's why I need to go to brain camp.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Knocked Up

Boundaries in a Confrontation

Ben Stone I'd like to be in there with Alison without you.

Debbie OK. I understand how you feel, but this isn't up to you.

Ben Stone Look, Debbie. You are high off your ass if you think you're coming into that room. If you take one step towards that door, I will tell security there's a crazy chick in a pink dress snatching up babies, OK? So don't even try to come into that room, that's my room now. That little area with the Pepsi machine, that's your area. My room, your area. Stay in your area, stay out of my room. Back... the... fuck... off.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Other Woman

Defining Boundaries in Relationships

Kate King We are not hiring a hooker to sleep with my husband!

[after Amber suggests getting a friend to sleep with Mark]

Amber She's not a hooker, she's just a slut.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Other Woman

Emotional Support in Difficult Conversations

Carly Whitten I can't talk to you until you stop crying.

Kate King I want to. Let me just... I'm sorry. I just am sad.

[muffled crying]

Carly Whitten Then cry on the inside like a winner.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Knocked Up

Communication in Relationships

Debbie I like "Spider-Man".

[crying]

Pete Okay, then let's go see Spider-Man 3 next week.

Debbie I don't wanna see "Spider-Man". I don't want to have to ask you to ask me. I want you to think of it yourself.

Pete Look, I don't even know what I'm supposed to say to you.

Debbie You think that just because you don't yell, you're not mean? This is mean!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Funny People

Standup Comedy Boundaries and Creativity

Laura No cussing in your standup.

George That takes out half of my act.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Knocked Up

Time Travel Jokes Among Friends

Debbie Hey, I have a great idea. Why don't the two of you go into your time machines and go back in time and each other?

Pete Who needs a time machine?

Ben This is my time machine, man.

[holds up a glass of liquor]

Pete I'm gonna throw you into my DeLorean, gun it to 88.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Knocked Up

Awkward Conversation About Intimacy and Discomfort

Pete ... So what do you think? Should we have sex tonight?

[after brushing his teeth]

Debbie Ugh... sounds awful... I'm just really constipated. Do you really want to?

Pete Well, not now!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Other Woman

Discussion on Pet Ownership Limitations

Kate King Can we keep her?

[referring to Amber]

Carly Whitten No, we can't keep her. We already have a dog at home.

Knocked Up

Understanding Where Babies Come From

Sadie Where do babies come from?

Debbie Where do you think they come from?

Sadie Well. I think a stork, he, um, he drops it down and then - and then a hole goes in your body, and there's blood everywhere coming out of your head, and then you push your belly button, and then your butt falls off, and then you hold your butt, and you have to dig, and you find the little baby.

Debbie That's exactly right.

George of the Jungle

Talking Monkey Surprises Characters in Jungle

Ape Run, Shep! Run for your life!

Max Did that monkey just speak?

Thor That monkey just spoke.

Ursula Stanhope I knew it.

Lyle He talked.

Max Shoot it now.

[to Thor]

Ape Hmm?

[turns and notices Max and Thor]

Max With the tranquilizer gun, idiot. The ape's worth a fortune.

[lowers Thor's rifle]

George NOOOOOOOO!

[runs towards Ape]

Lyle Van de Groot Stop, or I'll shoot!

[Aims his handgun at George; in slow motion, Lyle inaudibly yells, "I mean it!" before he shoots George]

Ape NOOOOOOOO!

Lyle Van de Groot NOOOOOOOO!

Ursula GEOOOOOOOORGE!

[fade to white]

Narrator Whew! Okay, kids, let's settle down and review the important information. Lyle is a big doofus. Poor George was really shot, but can't die because, let's face it, he's the ].

[[hero]

Knocked Up

Neighborhood Concerns and Humor About Safety

Debbie Look, here are all the sex offenders in our neighborhood.

Pete Looks like your computer has chicken pox.

Debbie These are sex offenders. They live in our neighborhood.

Pete Well, we'll skip their houses when we go trick-or-treating. What do you want me to do? Form a posse? (to Ben) I got my six shooter. Ya got your lynchin rope?

Debbie If I didn't care about these things, you wouldn't care about anything. Care more.

The Other Woman

Complicated Relationships and Misunderstandings

Carly Whitten Also, what is up with your insanely hot brother?

Kate King No! You can't have my husband and my brother! That's being very greedy!

Carly Whitten I'm not being greedy, you're being greedy.

Kate King What?

Carly Whitten He's your brother, what are you going to do with him?

Memorable Quotes from Leslie Mann