The King of Staten Island - Discussion on a Painful Tattoo Experience
Igor:
That looks really good.
Scott:
I wish you’d let me do something cooler but yeah. We see the tattoo, a smiley face captioned “Unfollow Me.”
Igor:
Fuck no. That hurt so bad.
Oscar:
Another dumb tattoo.
Scott:
I like the pain. The pain’s the whole point of getting tattoos. Don’t you just love when you get a tattoo and it hits the bone and pinches a nerve and you’re like “Ah!”
Igor:
I’m not a fan of the pain.
Richie:
You shouldn’t let him do it to you. He’s inconsistent.
Oscar:
That tattoo’s dumb.
Igor:
Y’all should’ve told me when you saw the design.
Oscar:
It says “Unfollow Me.” You don’t even have that many followers.
Igor:
Carla follows me.
Richie:
Bro, she’s imaginary!
Richie:
How many times do we have to say this? Oscar punches a bug.
Oscar:
I hate bugs, dog. I’m a gangster!
Scott:
That’s a bee, bro!
Oscar:
There’s a kid down there. Yo, kid!
Scott:
Oh shit, there is a kid.
Oscar:
What’re you doing? You hanging out on the beach? Come here. Don’t be shy. No stranger danger here. I’m not gonna touch you.
Scott:
What’s up, pal?
Oscar:
What’re you doing?
Harold:
Looking for my friend.
Scott: [''Mocks'']
Looking for my friend.
Oscar:
You wanna be friends with us? We’re the good guys.
Scott:
You can hang out with us.
Oscar: [''[[w:Fist bump|Extends fist; ''Oscar and Harold bump fists and Harold spots Scott’s tattoo gun'']
Lemme get some of that. Put it here. You gang. Part of the gang.
Harold:
What’s that?
Scott:
It’s a tattoo gun. I was giving the homies tattoos.
Harold:
I want a tattoo.
Scott:
Sure young guy. You want a tattoo?
Harold:
Yeah.
Oscar:
Kid wants a tattoo. That’s my guy right there.
Igor:
You can’t give him a tattoo. He’s a little kid.
Scott:
I gotta practice on something. He seems old enough.
Oscar:
You a tough guy?
Harold:
Yeah.
Oscar: [''Flexing arms''; ''Harold flexes arms'']
You’re a badass. Come on, show those muscles kid. Come on, both arms. Put ‘em up.
Oscar:
There we go. What’s your name?
Harold:
Harold.
Oscar:
I’m gonna call you Harry.
Harold:
Don’t. It’s Harold.
Richie:
Hell yeah.
Oscar:
I like this kid. I need him in my life. He has structure.
Igor:
I don’t think that’s a good idea.
Scott:
We don’t listen to anything you say.
Oscar:
Why do you even try to give us advice?
Scott:
What do you want a tattoo of?
Harold: [[w:The Punisher|The Punisher]
].
Scott:
The Punisher?
Oscar: [''Scott shows his phone to Harold'']
That’s tough, man. He could’ve said anything. He said The Punisher.
Scott:
I can do that. Is that it?
Harold:
Yeah that’s him.
Scott:
Are you sure?
Harold:
Yes.
Scott:
Do I have your legal permission to do this?
Harold:
Yes.
Scott:
That’s good enough for me. How about you guys?
Oscar:
Holds up in court.
Scott:
You guys heard it.
Igor:
He can’t give consent! He’s ten.
Scott:
Now hold still, okay? Because it is permanent.
Igor:
Guys, stop.
Oscar:
Put your game face on.
Scott:
Don’t worry, dude. This’ll just be on you for the rest of your life.
Harold:
I DON’T WANNA DO IT! I DON’T WANNA!
Scott: [''Harold runs away'']
I gotta finish it. Now there’s just a line. You’re gonna look stupid.
Richie:
Run little man, run!
Oscar:
Goddamn it. I fucking believed in that kid.
Scott:
He seemed so tough at first but then immediately wasn’t.
Oscar:
That’s why I don’t fuck with millennials.
Scott:
Again, we are the millennials.
Oscar:
You keep saying that but I don’t know what that means.
Igor:
I regret my friendship with you guys.
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The King of Staten Island - Confrontation at Abandoned Property
Security guard:
Hey, hey, wait. Hey, hey, guys. Look, look. You can't be here, man. Y-You got to go.
Tara:
Why?
Security guard:
It's private property, that's why.
Scott:
It's an abandoned orphanage. Why can't we be here?
Richie:
Who gives a shit, man? What are you doing here? You fucking protecting the ghosts of dead orphans?
Security guard: [[w:Kanye West|fat Kanye; ''Oscar [[w:the finger|raises middle finger; ''Walks away'']
Look, ], shut your damn mouth. I'll be back in five minutes for you assholes. If you're still here, I'm calling the cops, period.
Oscar:
You better get the cops, man, cause you're a fake cop. You need the real ones. Motherfuckers.
Scott:
Fuck all of y'all.
Igor:
I feel bad. We- we were a little too mean.
Scott:
Yeah. He's nice.
Igor:
Yeah, he's a really good guy.
Kelsey:
See that guy is what is wrong with Staten Island. We don’t get any of the cool people from any of the other boroughs. No one comes here. We’re stuck with the pricks who live here.
Oscar:
You’re talking about us, right in front of us.
Kelsey:
Kind of. I mean no one comes here! There’s no flow of people. That guy’s like two hundred. We’ve known him since we were six.
Tara: [[w:Brooklyn|Brooklyn]
Why can’t this be like ]?
Kelsey:
There’s no reason we shouldn’t be cool like Brooklyn. We’ve got amazing views. It’s close to the city. It’s cheap. Nice people. It makes no sense.
Scott:
We’re like the only place New Jersey looks down on. You could see the garbage dump from space. This place is never gonna change.
Kelsey: [[w:gentrification|It happened to the Meatpacking District, the Village]
No. ]. Brooklyn used to be a shithole. We’re next. I’m gonna take my civil service test. I’m gonna work for the city in city planning. You watch, this place is going to be fucking Williamsburg in ten years.
Richie:
Nobody wants that.
Scott:
Why do you wanna work in the city and do city planning? That sounds so boring.
Tara:
I feel like Brooklyn is better. I dated a guy that lived in Brooklyn. He was a mixologist. He made ice cubes out of milk. He was so classy.
Oscar:
Shut up.
Kelsey:
I love Staten Island. It’s amazing. And people are gonna see it soon. Trust me.
Scott:
If you love it so much, why don’t you let me tattoo it on you?
Kelsey:
No, I’m not letting you tattoo me again.
Scott:
Well I need somebody to tattoo. Come on Rich, what about you man?
Richie:
Don’t even look at me, dude.
Scott:
Why?
Richie: [''Points to tattoo of [[w:Barak Obama|Obama]
] tattoo on his arm] Your work is mad inconsistent. Obama ain’t right.
Scott:
I got the eyes wrong, okay?
Richie:
He’s not right! This has hurt me. I don’t have any black friends anymore. I can’t go to a barber shop no more. You got Obama wrong. Ain’t nothing worse than that.
Scott:
What about you, Igor? You want a dragon or something?
Igor: [''Lifts his shirt to reveal a tattoo of a cat with his navel implied to be the anus'']
I love your tattoos. My brother? It’s the spitting image. It’s my favorite. No this is my favorite.
Igor:
You killed that.
Scott:
I really worked hard on the eyes.
Igor:
He’s so cute. I love his butthole. It reminds me that I have a belly button. So I’m good.
Kelsey:
I gotta go. Watching you beg to give tattoos is too sad. And that’s freaking me out.
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The King of Staten Island - Misunderstanding Obama’s Impact
Richie:
Obama ain't right. You got Obama wrong. Ain't nothing worse than that.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.