Memorable Quotes from Magda Szubanski
4 quotesRespecting Roles and Boundaries Among Animals
Rex
It was my mistake. I was trying to loosen facts up a little. But, no. Today proves that it doesn't work. From now on, we'll all respect the rules. To each creature, its own destiny and every animal in its proper place. And a pig's proper place is under the old cart, not in the barn and absolutely never in the house. Is that understood?
[sighs]
Babe
Yes, sir.
Rex
Now, Pig, regarding the company you keep. Being young, it's hard to discriminate, so I'll make it easy for you. I forbid you to speak to or consort with that duck ever. Do I make myself clear?
Babe
Uh...what's "consort"?
Horse
It means, young man, that you must not go anywhere near that duck.
Rex
And as for the fugitive duck, when he shows himself, let him know this, being a duck he must behave like a duck. No more of this crowing nonsense. He should accept what he is and be thankful for it. That goes for all of us.
Cow
Here, here!
Narrator
Rex continued long into the night. Elsewhere, there was more talk. The subject was Christmas dinner and whether that year the main course would be roast pork or Duck a l'Orange.
Esme Hoggett
And pork is a nice, sweet meat. Then there's the crackling. That always adds interest and texture.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misery on a Beautiful Night
Fly
Rex? I know it was hard for you today, watching all that happening. But surely it's not worth all this misery. Please, darling. Not on such a beautiful night.
[Rex doesn't answer]
Rex
You...put these ideas into his head, two-faced traitorous WRETCH!!!
[gets up growling]
Farmer Hoggett
Get down! Down, Rex! Rex...
[Rex accidentally bites his hand]
Narrator
A dark cloud had descended on the valley. And the pig felt that the dangers were all his fault. But he was certain, he knew how to set things right.
Babe
Um, excuse me, sir. But I-I-I-I think all this trouble-
[in an attempt to apologize for being better than him]
Vet
Well, it's not distemper. Can't be rabies. Must be the hormones.
Esme Hoggett
What about Hoggett's notion, the dog being jealous of the wee pig?
Vet
Oh, I don't see that myself.
Esme Hoggett
No. Then what have we done?
Vet
Well, you can keep him locked up or snip, snip. I can do it Tuesday.
Arthur Hoggett
No.
Vet
Or Wednesday.
Esme Hoggett
Hoggett doesn't want the dog operated on. He's a breeding dog.
Vet
Well, now, I can sedate him, of course, but he'll be useless as a working dog. Now I'm gonna give you some pills to put in his food.
[injects Rex]
Arthur Hoggett
Good dog.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Observation on Inexperienced Individuals in Nature
Brozzie Drewitt
The two blokes look like they've never been out of an office. The girl might chip a fingernail if she's not careful.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Christmas Dinner Conversation in the Hoggett Family
Babe
Fly, may I call you Mom?
Esme Hoggett
Hello!
The Hoggetts son-in-law
Hey, folks, how are you? Merry Christmas!
Esme Hoggett
Merry Christmas! How's my favorite girl? Nanny has a jellybean. Give us a kiss. And guess what we're having for Christmas dinner? Roast pork.
The Hoggetts granddaughter
I hate pork.
Maa
Darn silly carry-on, if you ask me.
Horse
The cat says they call it Christmas.
Ferdinand
Christmas! Christmas dinner, yes. Dinner means death. Death means carnage! Christmas means carnage! CHRISTMAS MEANS CARNAGE!!
[runs off in fear]
Maa
Eating pigs! Blaah! Barbarians!
Babe
You're going back to the fields, Maa.
[runs up to Maa]
Maa
Oh, young'un, tragic there ain't more of your kind. I'll be thinking of you always.
Babe
I could come and visit you, Maa.
Maa
I'd like that, but...well, we shouldn't hope for too much.
[gets yanked as the cart pulls forward, she follows]
Babe
La la la, la la la, la la la lala. La la la, lala la la, lalala la la la la, hey!
[humming the tune of "Jingle Bells"]
Narrator
And then, it was Christmas Eve, and time had run out for the pig.
Mrs. Hoggett
Are you doing him tonight, then?
Farmer Hoggett
Huh.
Mrs. Hoggett
Sure. The blood will drain by morning.
Farmer Hoggett
Pity.
Mrs. Hoggett
What's that?
Farmer Hoggett
Nothing.
Mrs. Hoggett
What on earth are you rambling on about?
Farmer Hoggett
Exchange to miss out on the best ham prize at next year's fair, is all. Nice plump haunches he's getting. Beautiful. Yet...silly to wait, I suppose so.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.